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On Fire by Penny Flame


Penny Flame Blog

Penny Flame

Schwagg and Pizza induced weird dreams



Weird fucking dreams. Normally, when I have strange dreams, I wake myself up from said dream and the strangeness fades from my mind, the subconscious lets go of the previous dream and begins a new one. A fresh dream, no sequel. Well this dream was a fucking winner. Not only did I attempt to wake myself up from the dream, but I did in actuality, even went to the bathroom to get water, MULTIPLE times, and what happens when I fall back asleep? Right back into the same uncomfortable dream. And now, I am afraid to go back to sleep, because I don't want to dream this story anymore. I don't want to add to it, or create any more plot twists with my stupid overworked imagination. The dream?

It starts in this dope hotel where Bossman has a room for us, and the room is an outdoor poolside patio style room, no roof, no doors, just a bed and some end tables, and some lush greenery. (no not pot). I brought everything I had to Bossmans room, and he says its fine that I leave things there. The room is really nothing more than a poolside cabana, but this is where we do all our sleeping, and sexing, so it has the feel of a hotel room you have to take the elevator to, even if it cointains a bunch of other wacky dream people. And you aren't dreaming. The only way to get to our poolside room is through the pool, and each time I tread through the water it feels heavier than before.

Eventually we start getting ready for Hard Koreys surprise dinner party, which is to be held starting at the bar in the hotel, a bar that looks over 100 yards long, and is filled with people I don't know, or care to know. So I'm looking for a dress to wear to the ball (all right Cinderella), and there are two other guys in Bossman and my room, both of whom are incredibly close to me, and in my way.

Note. If you know me, you know that I freak out when my personal space is invaded. I get really pissy and short, and will scratch and claw my way out of any situation. At AVN, in Mandalay Bay walking through the crowd to get to the red carpet, I start to have a mental breakdown. In a sea of people, and in my shortness, I can see only backs and bottoms, I'm being touched by hands attached to bodies I cannot see, and feel as though I am being pushed along, without actually having any control over my motion. I start to freak out, my chest starts shutting down and heart starts racing. I can't breathe. Thankfully, Christian is there and helps me through the crowd.

Christian was not in my dream to inform these two additional gentlemen that if I can put my arms out and spin and hit you, you are too fucking close. So dream Penny tells dream strangers to get the fuck away from her before she has a mental breakdown. Dream Penny then forcefully pushes one of the dream men (no not dreamman) into the other, and dream Bossman is a tad surprised by dream Penny's lack of couth, and I apologize to him for reasons unbeknownst to me. I find a dress wrapped up in a plastic bag, put it on and we are ready for Hard Koreys dream banquet.

As soon as we walk into the bar/dining area, I lose Bossman. Can't find him anywhere. He's wearing this maroon shirt, and a hat, and I keep walking up to other maroon shirted and hat donning men, confusing them for the one I want. Hard Korey calls the bar before he comes in and the bartender ruins the surprise by telling him he should hurry, all his friends are here. Hard Korey never shows because that's just not his style. Anywhere there are a group of people waiting is not a place Hard Korey wants to be. So not only can I not find Bossman, I can't find Hard Korey, and I start to wonder if I'm at the right bar.

I go back across the pool, magically changing from my purple and blue dress, (I even remember details of the dress, even though I've never own anything remotely similar),  thinking perhaps he is back in the room. And he is. With this little Mexican chick and they are eating pizza. (this is the first point where I wake up, not really wanting to think about finding BM with some Mexican chick feasting on pizza, and as soon as I close my eyes?)  I climb in bed next to him and he and I are laughing, and he's feeding the Mexican chick pizza saying its all she's good for, and I'm laughing, because I get to laugh with him and not just be fed pizza, and who walks in? Rick fucking Shameless. And I ask him.

Me: Shameless, what are you doing in our room?

Shameless: you left all your shit in my car (for some reason dream Shameless has a red jeep, like a 96 boxy jeep, instead of his truck).

Me: okay, lets go get it. I definitely need my shit.

Now the confusing part is that I had been keeping everything I own at bossman's room, so I don't quite know how everything got into shameless' car. And as soon as I find the car, Shameless disappears, and I can't find anything I'm looking for. (I wake up here and rearrange the pillows, my sciatic is killing me) For some reason I'm convinced I have a pair of light blue jeans in the car, and in the pocket of said jeans is my ID, credit cards, and insurance card. Weird I know. But these are things I need.

I give up and figure maybe Bossman knows where everything is. After all, he is the keeper of my things. So back through the pool, swimming, jumping, trying to wade through the weight of the water. Very dense. Back in the room, no Bossman, no left over pizza boxes, and our cabana's curtains are blowing frilly in the breeze. Soft and warm. I wake up.

I wake up fucking thirsty yo, because I've been partaking in redbull vodka's and jager shots all night. After I drink every last drop of water in the bottles scattered around my hotel room, its back to sleep. I pray for a different dream. I can't deal with reoccurring shit.

But guess what happens when I fall asleep again. SAME FUCKING DREAM. This is the third time now that I've tried to not dream this dream. Enough already.

Well back in dream land, I can't find my purse now either, and I regret giving Bossman all my important things. (but in real life I always give him my important things because I don't wanna carry a purse, and he always takes good care of my things, and he never loses me). But in dream land he loses me. Actually lost me. And I never see him again. But I do see.....my little sister working at a Safeway right down the street from our hotel?

What?

Yeah, so I keep walking back and forth between the hotel and Shameless' red jeep, and I realize that my sister will be able to give me a ride up to Bossman's house, where I am convinced my purse is with my car keys and house keys, because all I want to do is go home and see my kitty. My sister is in the parking lot collecting shopping carts, and thinks I'm nuts because I reveal to her my search for Bossman, the mysterious pizza eating Mexican girl and all my shit. She tells me I never should have given my important things to him, and that you can never trust a man in a maroon shirt feeding Mexican girls pizza.

Fucking weird.

I wake up AGAIN. Take one of the empty water bottles in the bathroom and fill it up with tap water. I chug about half of it, and refill, then back into bed. I put some pillows under my knees, (I've old man pain) lay on my back, and put my hands in my pants to keep them warm. This is how I fall asleep.

Back into the same dream, I'm waiting patiently in the parking lot for my sister to come out when my mother calls (but not on my phone, otherwise I would have just called bossman), saying that I'd better go find my sis because she won't take me up to Oceanside, which in dreamland is where Bossman now resides. So I go into the Safeway, which isn't actually a Safeway, but more of a fish and chips kind of restaurant, with nets and marlins hanging on the wall, and someone at the counter notices my confusion, but in the midst of even more confusion, this little kid wearing a sombrero  steals something from the front desk and runs out. Everybody starts yelling "grab that kid! Thief!" and I go running out the front after the little fuck and who do I run into? My little sister, who tells me that Bossman spent the night fucking the pizza eating Mexican chick, and didn't invite me.

I woke up so pissed off, I forgot it was a dream. I woke up pissed off that he didn't invite me. I have been telling myself for over an hour now that he would have invited me and the only reason I had such fucked up weird dreams is because after a night of drining vodka redbulls, I shoveled two pieces of pizza down my throat at like 4am.

He totally would have invited me to fuck his strange pizza eating Mexican chick. I even asked him when I woke up, and he said, "Sure, why not". And he is a good care taker of my important things. And me.

No more 4am pizza. And a shit load less red bull up to that 4am pizza fiasco. The old brain was just way too active last night, just wouldn't shut down. Well fine.

I'll just wake up and stay up. Fuck you weird dream. I own you.


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