I was recently made aware of a spelling mistake in the title of my last XCritic blog. I apologize to anyone whom that mistake offended. I realize that as a porn star it is my responsibility to always maintain the utmost professionalism. After all, my fans all write about how my brain is my sexiest feature. Let me reach into my mailbag and show you:
Every time I see a photo of you, I can't help but get hard and horny. Some people talk about your round, perfect ass, while others love to go on and on about your perky, little titties, or perfect, tan skin. Those are nice and all, but it's actually your brain that makes me jerk off ten times a day. It's like I can read your thoughts through your deep eyes, and I love the Nobel Prize winning visions I see. I have a fantasy of you and me going head to head in a spelling bee. Maybe we could use geometry as foreplay. I know that your first movie Whore It Up will show the whole world how sexy your brilliance is.
From this day forward, I promise to never disappoint my fans and the adult media by accidently typing "tittle" instead of "title". The spastic "T" key on my keyboard is no excuse. I hope I didn't let Nick and everyone else down. Oh, and Nick, we'll make that spelling bee dream happen real soon, baby.