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"You Could Hang a Winter Coat on it"
posted Sunday, February 7th, 2010

So in all of the talk about open relationships I got a little excited I admit and did something ... a little dumb probably. I texted an old fuck buddy telling him that I may be opening up my marriage. He was excited; maybe a little too excited. He's great and I feel really safe with him so he would be a great first step outside of my marriage. He totally respects me and likes taking care of me. At the same time I know he respects my marriage and would never want to do anything to upset it. But I'm not sure that it would really work. Things have changed so much since we last got together. I've gained weight, I have a lot of pain issues, and I would require as much protection as possible during sex. He's a somewhat typical hetero guy and I have a feeling that he is not going to like the idea of dental dams and gloves. But my wife and I already gave each other an STI when we first started dating and it was awful. A wart was passed from hand to vulva and then vulva to vulva. Neither of us wants to go through that again so we are committed to keeping our sex protected. Of course nothing is perfectly safe, but we want to try to make it as safe as possible.

Anyways, so this guy (we'll call him by his old nickname from my personal livejournal: The Personal Trainer) got really excited about the possibility of us hooking up again. He's always made it very clear that he's always available to me. He even stuck his nose into a previous relationship of mine trying to get some. My fault though for complaining about the lack of sex in that relationship to him.

So this is how the conversation via text went:

Garnet: FYI: talks about opening up my marriage have begun. Its a long process though.

Personal Trainer: Don't tease me! Can I just start standing outside your window now? :)

G: LOL! Just wanted you to know since you're a likely candidate. I feel safe w you and that's super important to me. Also you never know, you may not be interested.

G: But I know that you'll also respect my marriage and boundaries which I need

PT: I'm so wanting you right now you could hang your winter coat on it!

G: LOL Well it won't be for awhile yet. There's a lot that the wife and I need to discuss. And there's a good chance that we won't even be in Chicago by then.

PT: You know I will always respect you! And then go down on you until your toes curl and your eyes roll back :)

G: Well keep in mind that a lot of things have changed. A lot of things that used to feel awesome now hurt me. You'd have to take the time to relearn my body.

PT: You know damn well I'd love to undertake that task! Do I get to lick your beautiful ass again?

*a few minutes go by*

PT: I'll take that as a resounding "no"! LOL

G: LOL we'll see. Like I said, we just started talking about it. We'll see what happens and like I said, we may not be in Chicago

G: Heh have some patience boy! I'm at work.

PT: Ok :)

PT: Where are you going to move to?

G: West coast most likely. I really want to move to the bay area but Portland may be a possibility. Depends on where the wife finds a job.

G: But I figure you travel a bit and I have family in Chicago so I'll be around sometimes.


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