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Kayden Kross Blog


delirium and toothpaste and sin and such



Kayden Kross Fever
I've slept too much over the past four days to sleep anymore
but I still don't have the energy to make it much past the front door so I'm
laying on my bed watching the sun set, grateful that I'll eventually be able
to use codeine to knock myself out if it comes to that. I'm pretty sure my
thermostat hates me. One minute I'm setting it in the sixties and the next I'm
jacking it up to eighty with an occasional lull where we all hang precariously
in the mid seventies while I lie curled up beneath multiple heavy blankets and
sweatshirts and foster dogs. My hair hurts. My eyes hurt. Everything feels
obnoxious. My thermometer hasn't reported me below 101 degrees since Wednesday
afternoon with a running average of 102.
 
I'm not quite sure what happened. One minute I was in a
meeting with Digital for a project they're putting together and the next I'm
standing to leave and my brain has become the unfortunate victim of one of
Newton's laws against my skull. Things in motion will tend to stay in motion
unless it crashes into something else... (or something like that). Like all
shocked victims later say: It came out of nowhere.
 
So now I'm down. The mint sensation from toothpaste is
practically unbearable, which is an especially raw deal considering the one
thing I've become obsessed with doing since Wednesday is brushing my teeth.
It's such a sick and filling sting. I imagine it was this kind of feeling that
got people inventing things like sin and its resulting baggage back in the day.
Sin is a relatively new concept after all--it didn't exist before the
monotheistic religions. Maybe it came around the time they put out toothpaste.
I'll have to look up the history of toothpaste.
 
Other recent obsessions include soup and frozen yogurt. With
both have come a strong appreciation for handicap parking spots--not that I have
the placard, but I've made my own handicap parking spots by parking in things
that aren't parking spots at all and it's made all the difference in the world.
The fact is I can't walk very far without getting lightheaded and collapsing. I
think the personal dark comedy that I've been living really peaked yesterday
when I had to race myself back to bed from the shower because if I didn't move
fast enough I wasn't gonna make it. The foster dogs thought I was playing and
bit at my ankles the whole way. I left my cell phone on the counter. I was
stranded for a few hours.
 
At first I was grateful for an excuse to stay in bed and do
nothing all day but like anything over indulgent it's become a little sickening
in its own right. I'd liken waiting for the fever to break to watching paint
dry but the damn paint would have been dry by now. I can't focus on anything
for any respectable period of time either so my normal time wasters are lost on
me. I don't even have the energy for twitter. Or dark chocolate. This is a
serious thing indeed.
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