12pm- I show up to the Hustler studio right at call time. No one is there except Dale
12:05pm- Receive a call that my call time changed to 1pm.
12:06pm- Dale also receives a call that the call time has changed to 1pm.
12:10pm- We go grab lunch
12:45pm- We almost get kicked out of TGIF's because Dale "forgot" to wear shoes.
1:30pm- We finally show up back at the Hustler studio and begin the make-up process.
1:30pm-10pm- Yes, note the time--over eight hours. During this time we are sprayed, glued, braided, painted, prodded and poked. I witness blue men running around with condoms on so when they are painted it won't get on their cocks. Sounds like a movie title, "Blue Men Running Around with Condoms on their Cocks"....or not.
10:01pm- Voila!!! I'm blue!!! I immediately begin to speak the Na'vi language fluently. I run to set naked and blue and jump around in the bushes. I feel so primal. I also order other people in the cast to run around in the forest, so I can stare at them in the monitor acting like monkeys, but in 3D!! I begin to shoot my tease scene. Yes, you should get the movie if you want to be teased by a Na'vi
queen. As much as I want to enjoy myself, it is a little strange. I am so used to touching myself as a human; I am not really in my "element".
12am- We begin shooting the dialogue scene, and it is really confusing because I don't feel like I recognize anyone. Thank God Dale has a white cock and Lexington Steele has a black cock, otherwise I would be completely lost.
1am- We all start to get a bit annoyed. Standing in the woods was cool at first, but now it hurts a little and I can't see because my yellow contacts keep moving around on my eyeball. I keep forgetting my lines because it is in a language that I never had the option of learning in high school. It goes something like this, "Mok poo la la watcha koo koo ratcha"... well, close enough.
1am-5am- These 4 hours are a blur, as we gradually get crankier from clogged pores.
5:01am-7am- Yay! Finally the sex scene arrives. It's a group scene consisting of three couples. At this time, we encourage infidelity since I (the queen) have sex with a warrior, and Lexington (the king) has sex with a slave girl. Who am I to judge how the Na'vi enjoy their sex? It is probably the most interesting sex scene I have ever done. Firstly, because I am blue and so is Dale. It feels really weird to have sex with something that doesn't look human. We also are fucking on a rock in the bushes, so that is a little uncomfortable. And as I said before, my contacts keep moving, so I can't even see all the blue sex I'm having. When my contacts move, my eyes water and it leaks down my prosthetic face and come out the teeny nose holes. I stick q-tips up my nose to get the tears out, but then I get fuzzies in my nose from the q-tip. It tickles, causing me to sneeze in my
prosthetic face. I don't feel very sexy. I don't think any of us feel very sexy. Everyone soon becomes rreeeaaallly cranky, except for Misty Stone because she's a sweet heart and is having a blast getting pile driven by Chris Johnson near a tree.
7:01am-8:0am- "Wait!" Axle Braun says. We have to do one last quick scene that we don't know
about. Yes, the crankiness ensues. ;)
8:01am-9am- I finally get to take my makeup off, but it takes an hour. The best thing about this situation is standing in the shower with Chris Johnson, while we rub each other's bodies down with paint remover. Sexy and clean.
10am- Bedtime!! Zzzzzzzzzzz
And so concludes my time shooting the "Avatar" parody. It was such an honor to be a part of one of the most monumental adult films ever. While it was a lot of hard work learning to talk and fuck like aliens, the end result of "Avatar XXX" makes it completely worth all the pain, crankiness and paint. My blue ass got spanked and my pussy pleased. It's all for the art. ;)