Random Childhood Memory
I was walking through the mall today. It was packed, obviously, since it's christmas time. As I was there, I had a little flash back triggered from almost running over a little boy on a leash. Yes, a leash. To some this may seem weird and they couldn't fathom having to wear a leash. A lot of people may also ask, "What happens to the leash children?" and "Do they turn out ok?"
I have the answer, and it is these "leash children" turn into porn stars. I say this because I was a leash child. I remember mine was rainbow, and I would hop out of the car and start walking towards the doors of a store. My mom would yell my name, and I'd run back, so she could strap that leash right around my wrist. I never thought it weird at the time, but when do you think anything is weird at the age of five? I don't blame her though; it sounds totally appealing to me. Strap a string on your kid, and you only have to pay attention to them a quarter of the time to make sure the kid doesn't swoon some new kid into taking their spot when you aren't looking. If only I had thought of that at the time. But I didn't care. I had a little but of a kleptomaniac phase during that time, so it was probably for the best.
What's wrong with the leash anyway? Is it cause it makes the adult look lazy, or are we just really uncomfortable with the thought that we may be treating our children like animals? We have our dogs wear leashes. Why? Because they run away, they could bite someone or they can poop somewhere unexpected. Don't children do all these same things? I actually love kids, and I am really good with them, but let's just admit that life would be a lot easier if we could shop for firm apples or underwear without the worry that our kid could go screaming down the aisle or vomit in the shoe department without you knowing.
My mother would kill me if she knew I was talking about her, but she actually took it a step further and would tie me and my sisters to the bed at night. Shocking! I know but think about it. My sister and I would always crawl out of bed and do God knows what all around our huge three story house. My mom needed some rest and didn't want to waste her time running around making sure we weren't getting into things at three in the morning. It's not like she hog tied our whole body parts to the bed. My mom's whole attitude to everything is simply this, "You bet I tied your behinds to that bed!" and "You bet I made you wear a leash while we went shopping!" She obviously doesn't mess around and will do what it takes to get the job done.
I can't say that all leash children end up porn stars, but this one did. I actually like my mom's way of thinking, and I can thank my mother for my own attitude. When people ask me, I always say, "You bet I have sex for a living!"
***Now that I'm off a leash (usually), I am able to enjoy activities like floating around with cool people. Here's a pic.