Off the record and very hush-hush.
Buyer Beware! Don't get ripped off at the porn shop.
Ever buy a movie at the porn store and when you got home you realized
you were totally ripped off and did not get your money's worth? Well
if you have, don't feel bad, it happens to everyone. If you haven't,
you're in luck, but to make sure that luck doesn't run out, here are a
few tips to use when shopping for smut.
off, let's be clear here. You might not always be happy with the
titles you purchase, by no fault of your own or the studios. Sometimes
it just doesn't work out the way you hoped. The best laid lays of
every pornographer can sometimes go astray. This blog isn't about
those instances, this blog is about the times when it's clear cut that
a studio is trying to deceive you and sell you a bad product.
Hopefully your local porn store filters out the legit from the bogus,
but even they can be overwhelmed and fooled. Oftentimes you are likely
on your own when making your buying decision and the immense amount of
titles out there can be intimidating. Luckily you have some weapons at
your disposal. If you're reading this, then you already know how great a site like XCritic is in helping you weed through all the movies.
Here are a few "insider" tips that you may not be aware of:
are studios out there that take old scenes and try to pass them off as
new at new release prices. They don't tell you that it's a
compilation; they just hope you fall for it. For them this is
basically pure profit. Those scenes paid for themselves months
sometimes years ago. So they pick 5 of them, put them on a disc and
ship them out. Their only cost involved is the replication and
packaging, there's essentially no overhead. A studio can pull this off
1000s of times before the word of mouth gets so bad that the consumer
realizes anything with "Company XYZ" on it is a rip off. So that
company "retires" the name "Company XYZ", and starts releasing titles
under the name "Company ABC". You just see a boxcover with a different
name on it. This company didn't relocate and open a new office or
anything. They are just hiding their true identity from you the
consumer because they have ruined their reputation and name. No doubt
there are some addresses in the valley that get mail for probably 100's
of different "companies". It's also worth noting that you cannot call
these movies compilations. I believe compilations should be up front
in telling you that's what they are. This should be done simply
stating that fact, or some other obvious indicator for the consumer.
It's obvious that a "Best Of" title indicates a compilation.
these same studios also have an odd release schedule. Whereas most
other companies release 4 to 12 titles per month, these studios will do
big bulk releases. They'll release 25 "new" titles all at once with
some name that you'll never hear from again.
You may also notice
that their pricing isn't very in-line with everything else at your
store. If a regular new release goes for $39 for the majority of
studios, but unheard of "Company XYZ"'s titles are just $19 when they
are BRAND NEW, be suspicious. This is because their cost is so little
in repackaging old scenes they can afford to offer them to stores for
considerably less than everyone else does. They also know that the
only way a store might take their titles is by offering a 'too good to
be true' price. Sadly some stores aren't skeptical about these things
and buy into it.
Since these studios are pumping out low quality
rip off movies, they don't put a lot of care and thought into them.
You'll notice numerous spelling errors, poorly rendered pictures, and
obscure, contracted or retired performers in them. To this day you'll
still find "New Releases" by companies with Tiana Lynn in them. A
performer that has been retired for well over a year and was a contract
performer for years before that. They assume that you aren't informed
enough to catch on to their shenanigans.
Sometimes they are so
lazy in putting movies together that the performers listed/pictured on
the box aren't even in the movie. Notice how some studios put
guarantees on the box that all performers pictured are in the movie?
Why did they do that? Because other studios ripped off customers for
so long that the legit ones have to separate themselves somehow. I
found a title once with Leah Luv
listed and pictured on the box. However the performer credited as
being Leah Luv looked to be about 50 looking nothing like little Leah.
I pointed this out to this company which led to me no longer buying
anything from them. I was given about 10 bullshit excuses ranging from
them telling me I don't know who Leah Luv is to blaming the editor. That company is still selling this DVD to this day, and they either don't care, or
are too lazy to correct it. But that's ok, because I'm going to show
you how to recognize companies like them, and how to never give them
another dollar. To be fair, even quality studios sometimes mis-credit
someone, the difference is that they recall the title and fix it.
what can you do to catch these shady studios? Well if you are familiar
with poker, there's a term called "the tell". Porn is no different.
When someone is trying to be deceptive but isn't very good at it, they
have a tell.
1. The UPC Code - This is the single best way in
my opinion. It's quick and easy to flip a DVD over, check out the UPC
code and know immediately who made this title. When companies put out
DVDs they each have a unique UPC code (or at least they should). These
codes are bought in chunks and are for the most part unique to that
company. Every new Jules Jordan Video title starts with 600148 as the
first 6 digits. All Vivid titles start 000732. Shane's World starts
891132. This is true in most cases, except in some situations where a
studio is distributing another studio (i.e. Vivid and Reality Kings).
So this also works for the shady companies. If you see a UPC code that
starts 649107...RUN, put that DVD down and choose another. By learning
the UPC code for the Leisure Times and their ilk, you can easily
identify those with suspect business practices.
The custodian of
records is another indicator. A company may produce under several
labels with differing designs, but the mail (and 2257 inspector) all
come to 1 place. The name listed will often change. I guess these
studios have a high turnover in that department. You'd think that it
would be an easy job; after all they never shoot any new scenes. I
guess keeping track of all the different movies they stuck those same
scenes in is a big undertaking.
Be on the lookout for contract
or big name performers showing up in an unknown studios release. Some
low-end companies shot at least 1 scene with performers like
Belladonna, Ashley Blue, and Tera Patrick. And they will try to milk
that scene for all it's worth for years. Futureworks released a title
in 2006 with Belladonna. You think that scene was from 2006? I'll bet
you that scene was from the 2001 Rain title Anal University 10. How
would you feel paying new release price for a scene that is 5 years old
from a title that you could easily get for less than $10.
not opposed at all to generating money from older scenes, but chopping
it up and putting the same scene in 25 different movies is just being
dishonest. Under that approach there's no point in even shooting new
scenes. One would wonder why only put out 25 titles a month...why not
25,000? Just flood the market with 10s of 1000s of recycled titles at
bargain basement price. Give the consumer an inferior product and
treat them like they have no standards. It is the disdain for the
customer that really upsets me. Our customers deserve better.
hope that you don't get ripped off when you go shopping for porn. I'd
hope that your local store would catch these dishonest companies at the
door and not provide shelf space for them. Sadly, that doesn't always
happen. Help them out; tell them that "Company XYZ" is being dishonest
and that you don't appreciate being ripped off. You have power as a
consumer, you have options. If they don't want to clean up their act,
you can take your dollar elsewhere, or you can shop online. If you
went to Target and bought a bag of M&Ms only to open it and find
candy corn, you'd take it back to Target with a big "WTF?" speech. If
Target didn't stop doing it, you'd buy your M&Ms at Wal Mart
right? You are a consumer, and you have the same rights any other
consumer does. You have the power to tell other consumers about
"Company XYZ"'s tactics. And thanks to the internet you have a
plethora of forums to voice your story.
I hope this helps and informs you in your shopping purchases. Feedback is welcomed and appreciated!!!