Christmas is over!
I love Christmas. Anyone who follows me on twitter or knows me in real life knows that. I LOVE it! I love it so much that it's almost pathetic. Christmas for me used to mean decorating the house with my mommy, baking cookies, and doing all sorts of random stuff with her, like staying up 24 straight hours to see if we could fit every possible claymation movie into being. I swear that woman watched "The Land of Misfit Toys" with me 100 times a season. I loved Christmas and so did she and that was great since everything else we argued on.
The back of my shoulder has a tattoo, which most remark as that's so pretty. Thanks. I'm glad it's pretty it says R.I.P. mom and it means a lot to me. My mom died when I was 18. I had gotten emancipated, written her off, and the stubborn woman that she was went and got cancer. Guess what that means? Oh ya, I had to let her back in somewhat. During that time, I moved to D.C. to live with my adopted father because I got really sick. In that time, things changed. My dad doesn't do Christmas. He could care less about the holiday, except that it gives him an excuse to buy my neices presents. Over time, Christmas has changed for me too. It's still fun, I still love it, but it becomes kind of a chore halfways through December. My anxiety riles up. I start to miss my mom more than ever and I just get depressed. I usually pull myself up out of it and remember she would hate to be the reason I gave up my Christmas spirit.
This year was no different. I wanted to shoot the rude people in the parking lots who couldn't wait for me to pull out my car to pull theirs in. I had to deal with my dad's lovely family who likes to remind me that they're proud of me, but I could be so much more. And now it's over. It's over and a wave of relief has washed over me. I love Christmas and I love my mom, I always will. Christmas is different though, it's not sparkly lights and baking cookies with my mother. It's a tinge of loneliness wrapped up in a pretty tinsel package.
My relief is now coupled with my excitement to hop on a plane to go see the lovely Miss Ashley Fires whom I absolutely adore. I can't imagine a better way to say good bye Christmas and weird people I'm shocked I'm related to at times. So good bye Christmas, hello my chosen family members who are my friends and thank God the world did not end!