Return Of The Jedi (Actually, I'm More Of A Sith But Who's Checking?)
Look who has returned to the world of blogging, it's your favorite geeky porn princess and I am back in business thanks to one of my fabulous fans being so kind as to get me this new and nifty laptop I am typing on now at this very moment! I have been gone way too long and you all know how much I love to write so I have been completely lost as of late not being able to share my experiences and thoughts with you. On the bright side, I do believe that I needed this little break to step back and look at my life in other ways than just a journalistic and entertainment point of view. I often find myself in the middle of my experiences thinking about how interesting my life is and how I can best put what happened into words to entertain everyone else but I rarely find myself looking at my life just as it is, my life. I have realized that I do not often allow myself to feel how I really feel and have basically been walking through life numb and zombie-like and that needed to change so I did the only logical thing left to do: I changed it.
As you all may have noticed, I have been single since the end of November and yes, this time I am really done with my Ex-Husband because as much as I loved him, I just couldn't allow myself to continue in a toxic, controlling, dishonest, and disrespectful relationship. I reached the point where I realized that this wasn’t a marriage at all that I was in, I was simply being used and it wasn’t good for me, it wasn’t good for my daughter and it really was not helping my career at all so I decided that once and for all I am done. I was done with him, I was done with relationships, and I never wanted to even think about marriage again, I would never open myself up to another human being as long as I lived, FUCK LOVE! Yeah, I’ve learned that you should never say never (unless if you’re Justin Bieber) because as soon as you do you will surely be proven otherwise and you will be eating your words. Long story short, I met someone that has had a great impact on my life in a very short amount of time and even if I never see this person again it still won’t change the fact that they have changed my entire mindset.
Being the horny girl that I am I met this guy ready and willing to fuck and get the fuck out of there, no, I didn’t want to cuddle, I didn’t want to kiss, I didn’t want to ever see this person again but like I said, when you say you will absolutely not do something you will quickly be proven wrong and find yourself in the middle of that act wondering what the fuck happened. Long story short, I really don’t know what the fuck happened, I just know for once, with a guy, it felt right to kiss and cuddle and I really wanted to see him again even after him going on and on about his “baggage,” but hey, were all damaged people and nobody is perfect. This person has been consuming my thoughts since I met him, everything he says (well, most of it) makes sense and makes me think more deeply about myself and regardless of the outcome I will always be very appreciative of the conversations we have had because without them I would probably still be sitting here with homeland security around my heart always at a level red no matter who comes into my life.
I have learned to quit being so afraid of getting hurt and to have an open mind and an open heart because not every person out there is trying to hurt me. I realize that the possibility of heartbreak is always there but to be honest, I don’t care and the reward outweighs the risk to me now. I realize my worth and I realize that if I give someone my heart and they break it that I can just take it back, repair it and give it to someone that will appreciate it, heartbreak is not the end of the world even though sometimes it may feel like it. I am happy to announce now that not only am I single, I am ready for whatever comes my way and will no longer be making any other guys or girls pay for the mistakes of the people in my past.
Now that we got the mushy stuff out of the way (yeah, who would’ve ever thought that this filthy little slut could be brave enough to allow feelings deeper than her pussy?) I will let you all know of the smut I have been filming so you know what to look forward to! I’ve been doing a ton of butt sex lately, probably one that will be a favorite of you all is the one I just shot with Mike Adriano for Evil Angel, That guy knows how to butt fuck a bitch! I haven’t just been getting cocks up my ass, oh no, I got to do a fuck film with this cute girl named Tracey Sweet in which she let me entirely dominate her, slap her, spit on her, choke her, ALL OF THAT! Damn, that bitch was a good lay but perhaps the most exciting of my upcoming scenes thus far is my interracial gangbang for Dogfart, THAT was a dream come true. I really am not into a bunch of guys all over me at once but when I am just getting passed back and forth between big black cocks, well, I just cannot complain! It was fucking great! Like I always say, the more giant black cocks in my orifices, the better!
Well, I am going to sign off for now, I know there is a shit ton more I could talk about but I will save all of that for another day as I do need to go lay down on some ice to treat my whiplash and get some stuff taken care of with my car as I ended up rear-ended (not in the good way) the other day so I am dealing with the other persons insurance company trying to get my car fixed. I am just happy to have a computer again so I can write whenever I feel the need! OH! And I am headed back up to LA in a couple of days so stay tuned, I am sure there will be more interesting adventures I will be reporting to you all!
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