Dumpster Diving & Feature Dancing
Today I was very productive...and I paid the price for being so. After my bathroom flooded and the toilet became out of commission, I felt I had to distract myself from the painful urge to urinate by cleaning up my office. I hung up every piece of clothing, unpacked my suitcases, threw away all the garbage, and even organized every piece of jewelry I own. Soon enough I completed the task. I stood back gleefully and very proud I did such a diligent job on cleaning this room. I then decided I couldn't wait to urinate anymore and drove to a friend's house to use her loo.
After running some errands and spending some time with friends, I made it back home to a functioning toilet once again. Very relieved in more ways than one, I decided to try on my feature dance costumes to make sure they looked as amazing as I hoped they would, but I could not remember where I placed them. I'm a minimalist and in a clean room of mine there are not many places to look for missing items. I stared in deep thought trying desperately to remember because in the back of my head I knew I had thrown them away. It goes to show that the law of attraction does not work in these types of situations because I thought very hard about the clothes being found carelessly placed in the back of my closet, but I knew very well that in my haste to clean thoroughly I had tossed them away.
After muttering cuss words under my breath, I grabbed a broom and ran outside to the community garbage bin. I noticed, even after only a few hours, an apartment building can accumulate a lot of garbage. I opened the bin and stuck the stick end of the broom in and waded through it like I was paddling through mud. I found the box I suspected was where I had put the clothes, as I hoped to hide them from the cat tearing them up, but instead it caused me forget where they were completely and throw them out. Of course they were at the bottom of the bin, so after grabbing the only sturdy thing I own, my vanity stool, I hurled myself into the garbage, rummaged through crap, prayed no one was looking, then saved my clothing from the destruction of the garbage truck. Annoyed I just jumped into trash for items that I end up tossing off stage anyway, I was finally able to clean myself up with peace of mind that I will have some article of clothing to wear when I go on stage.
As frustrating as me wearing clothes sounds, don't worry, I always end up taking them off. That is why the message of my story is to shamelessly advertise that I will be feature dancing next weekend at Cheerleaders in Pittsburgh. I am excited to see some of my east coast fans, and for all that show, just remember that everything you see me wearing on stage was at the bottom of a garbage bin. See you there!!