Off the record and very hush-hush.
There seems to be a tipping point with so many people in this industry where they become jaded to the point of no return. Daily dealings with politics, deception, divas, and greed takes it's toll on them until disdain sets in.
I'm glad that I haven't reached that point yet. I've had setbacks that made me question my path in life. I've went to jail for the industry and feel the repercussions from that from time to time. I went from being a buyer to a seller, and saw how differently one gets treated by one's 'buddies'. I'm still pretty young, but with 9+ years experience in the industry, I've seen a lot of things. Now that I work for a studio, I've seen an entirely different side of the business.
Despite all that, I've never stopped loving this industry, and I've never been ashamed to admit that. Even when I was going to jail for this biz, I saw myself as some sort of Larry Flynt-like character, fighting the good fight. Admittedly, I'm still a fan boy at heart. I'm naive at times, trusting in people, oblivious the the sinister machinations of so many. I imagine that since I love my job and my industry that everyone else does as well.
I don't deal with the "talent" as much, so I don't see that side of it enough to have disdain for the ranks there. Although, if what I saw in Las Vegas from Jenna Jameson is any indication, I'm sure I'd be hoping for certain "talent" to wind up on the Yellow Couch of Doom in a Max Hardcore video.
I'm also not a materialistic person. Making money will come to you if you do hard work, honestly and with an attention to detail. I don't drive myself crazy with aspirations of wealth that are well beyond realistic goals. I want to provide me and my girl with financial stability and security. I'd like to retire at a decent age and enjoy all the wonderful things this world has to offer.
My enthusiasm for the industry enhances my ability to do the jobs I have laid before me. Were I to not be excited, I'd have a much harder time completing tasks. It's like when a male performer is really into the girl he's working with. If he can naturally get it up, you're probably going to see a much more passionate scene. If he has to inject himself or take pills, the scene will be good, but he may not be in that zone psychologically, and not at his best.
I'm enthusiastic about the companies I work for. I think that our enthusiasm comes across in our product, and in the quality of our work. I know there are plenty of naysayers out there that keep telling me eventually my enthusiasm will wear off and I'll grow weary of the adult industry. I just don't believe that day will come, at least not anytime soon. I got hit with a real low blow early on in my career when I went to jail for the biz, but that hasn't been enough to drive me from the game. I'm determined and excited to do my job, and to those that aren't...well I say good day to you sir!
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