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Porn and wrestling???



I almost started this column off by stating that pro-wrestling is my guilty pleasure.  I changed my mind because I don't feel guilty about it at all.  I've loved pro-wrestling since my childhood and I make no apologies about continuing to love it well into my adult life.

For much of my life porn and wrestling didn't mix, even though the demographics were the same once wrestling turned from kid/family friendly to it's racier current incarnation.  The first time I can remember their paths crossing was when some unheard of director by the name of Jules Jordan shot a scene with ECW valet Chastity.  I was working behind the counter at a porn store in Dallas, and scores of customers came in asking about this title.  This ironically introduced me to the work of Jules Jordan, whom I've been a fan of ever since.  As I tell Jules, I was a fan of him before they used to put his name on the box.  After Chastity came the flood of WWE divas appearing in Playboy.  Starting with Sable and continuing with Chyna, Torrie Wilson, Candace Michelle, Ashley, and soon Maria.  There was the short lived XPW from Rob Black, that had some initial success, but I think Rob is regretting that venture to this day.  More recently we've seen the pro-wrestling and celebrity sex tapes genres cross with the release of "1 Night In Chyna" release from Red Light District.  Chyna never struck me as being very strokeworthy, and seeing her perform confirmed that.  The day that title was released, one of my store managers called me and sarcastically asked me if they should put that title into the transsexual section.

That title seemed to spawn a rush of has-been wrestling characters to porn.  Even more recent, was the "New Porn Order" concept from Craig Valentine and Summer Haze.  As I understand it, this takes has-been wrestlers and merges them with never-was porn stars (with the exception of Evan Stone).  I don't know who this is supposed to appeal to.  As a wrestling fan, I don't want to see the likes of Gangrel or Buff Bagwell having anything to do with porn.  I don't even know who Summer Haze is, but how being a glorified stripper qualifies you to be a pro-wrestler is beyond me.  WWE Divas can't wrestle worth a damn, why would I want to watch a stripper make a mockery of it.  And Craig Valentine...well let's just say I'd almost rather watch Greg "The Hammer" Valentine do porn, and Greg Valentine ain't pretty at all, but he had a mean Figure Four Leglock!

Bad porno with bad wrestlers is just bad product, it isn't novel because it combines the two.  All the press releases in the world won't convince me that anyone cares about the NPO.  I can tell you that no wrestling fans care about this.  I read and subscribe to about every major wrestling website, group, etc. and lame concepts like these are never more than a blip on the radar.  Gangrel wasn't over when he started and he never got over.  Wrestling fans don't believe you're really a vampire warrior, it's a lame gimmick, and it always will be.  Fictitious creatures will never carry a wrestling crowd....The Werewolf will never be WWE Champion, nor would the Yetti, Abominable Snowman or Unicorn Man.  Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat didn't walk around actually trying to convince people he was a real dragon, and the low point of his career had to be when WWE actually had him breathing fire.  He had stopped being a character and became a caricature.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is that as a wrestling fan, I'm embarrassed by concepts like this.  As an adult movie fan, I'm embarrassed by concepts like this.  Let's stop trying to combine the two things until we can find a way to do it without making a mockery of both in the process.

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