I knew it was going to be a good night when I realized I really am signing autographs at a bar all night. Whenever there are signing bookings, its always some silly porn shop, or lingerie boutique attached to the side of a strip club. Bright harsh lights, anal beads, and dicks everywhere. People feeling a tad bit ashamed to even be there, let alone to talk to me and treat me like a real girl. Whenever I'm in a store signing, its always, well, stupid. I don't want to say stupid because it makes me feel bad, but in reality, I would much rather hang out with people, listen to great music, and drink a few beers. Its such a better way to get to know someone. That being said....
Early on in the night, people were still sober enough to want to talk porn and I was sober enough to comply, and be into it. The first two gentlemen I spoke with got the best of me, in that they were the only people who really had questions about adult, so I enjoyed answering, wanted to elaborate, and encouraged more questions. One was incredibly interesting: "Do you ever get sick of talking about it?" hmmmm. Do I? Yes. Yes and No. There is time for everything. Its like this....if you work a 9-5, can you bitch about a meeting until after the meeting is over? No. You have to sit through the whole fucking thing, regardless of whether its the most exciting meeting in the world, or a complete and utter waste of your time. So when you get dope meetings, you're that much more into it, because yes, you have sat through some shitty fucking meetings, and then it doesn't matter if your at a bar or sneaking whiskey in your coffee. At some point you will be too drunk to want to deal with it and you will wander away. But if its a good meeting? Man, I will sit there all night choppin' it up, and chilling.
This was a good meeting and a bad meeting. The first two dudes were great, like I said before, but as the night wore on, fools got more drunk, (one specifically, who thankfully was handled by the wonderful security guys at The Music Gym), and horny dudes are a walk in the park compared to horny drunk dudes. After a certain point, all I did was run around and push Spunk'd the Movie on people, one of the funniest movies I have yet to participate in, and the entire reason I was there. Actually, this is a picture of me and the director, Justin Kane.
I'm sure he would be stoked if you checked out his stuff at SpunkdtheMovie.com, but I figure you already know that, because you know how much I went through to be there and be a good friend to him.
This is a picture of us being hard....
There was one man in the building who didn't really seem to give a fuck about porn, or what's going on behind it, and the first thing that we came together on was music. And what a beautiful union it was. In fact, as soon as I started rambling on about all the rappers I love and all the underground shit I'm always pissed I miss because I travel like a mad woman, he starts talking about all the dope artists he has been lucky enough to witness,and experience. We spoke of prose, ho's, and the finer qualities of one of my (and his) favorite rap artist, and I debated on whether to kiss him on the spot, or take him back to my room and fuck his brains out. But anytime I have ever felt like kissing someone in a bar, I pass it up because I figure "You're shitfaced, just because he's into your favorite hip hop artist doesn't mean he should get some neck yo...." Anyway, he left to check out what else is going on in town, and I don't blame him: Austin was on fire this past week, and the fuel, the talented artist who create the soundtrack to my life. Green is not a good color for me, so I dropped the jealousy act and got down with some BBQ, and The Audible Mainframe.
The Audible Mainframe are a group of guys outta Boston, now living in LBC, who blew my mind. hehehe...and maybe a bit more, well, only because we puffed trees all night by the sexy ass BBQ man, selling these delicious combination meat sandwichs, on Wonderbread. The man even asked me if I wanted my dress to be clean at the end of the night. I said yes, but that didn't matter as soon as I started eating. This shit was so good, at one point I leaned back to say "MMMMMMMMMMM" and spilled meat all down the front of my sparkly silver dress. In fact, that shit was so good, I wanted to pluck it up off the cement and put it back on the Wonderbread. Okay, sorry, the band. Live trumpet, sax, bass, keyboards, a dj, and a kid with a super fro who spits fire. Had moments of Rage Against the Machine, mixed with nuances of Living Legends. LIke if they all got together, and made 6 babies, and all the babies were like, my age. These fools blew it up, so much so that I got all their contact info and want them to drop the beats for my next upcoming Vivid flick about rough sex. Alright.....
Mr. Music showed up at a later point in the evening. After I had too many beers, and smoked three bowls too many. Even after I spilled the meat sandwich all over myself, had Justin try to clean me, (I told him to cut that shit out he's acting like a fucking girl), and after I tripped in my boots, and managed to sober up enough not to act like an asshole. He came back and we talked some more. In fact, we talked so much I thought, well shit.....I could actually fuck this guy and not worry about some strange strings attached. We could have mind blowing sex, and be confident enough to walk away smiling and laughing, not hurt and feeling like someone was taken advantage of.
He asked me if I wanted to kick it and smoke some herb.
I said forshiggido. (that's my gangster lean for "for sure")
We went back to my hotel and conversed till the wee hours of the morning. At which point we started making out. Way hot. Then we both realized the lack of condoms is going to interfere with us fucking without those strings attached, because even though I know my shit is clean and have a test to prove it, and I'm pretty sure his shit is clean, neither of us needs to worry about that. So around 5am, he went on a run to get condoms. I stayed awake, lying in bed touching myself until 5:15 and remember thinking "if this cat comes back with a handful of condoms and you're passed out, you better wake the fuck up and suck his dick hella good, because any man who's gonna go for a 5am jog for rubbers deserves that kind of king treatment".
When I awoke to his re-entrance, the clock read 5:45am.
We then fucked until the rubbers were gone. He took me on every piece of furniture in my skanky hotel, and I bet we both left a little piece of ourselves there for the next patron. At one point, with the last article of sexy protection, he had me on my back and we were face to face, lip to lip, his weight on me, sweat, spit, pushing, thrusting, breathing the same deep breaths, so intimate and close to this perfect stranger, and he starts speaking candidly with me. I have no idea what the question was, but the level of honesty, the brutally frank way in which he asked it, I couldn't help but smile and laugh as he made me cum all over his big hard dick.....
mmmmm.....hmmmmm......dirty dirty dirty girl flame. We passed out dripping body fluids all over one another, tangled and twisted in the sheets. Set the alarm so he could get up and go handle some biz-snatch, and I didn't even hear it go off. In fact, I have vague memories of his kissing me goodbye and leaving. All I remember is my pussy dripping down his cock, his legs covered in my wetness. I slept long into the morning.
Later that day, (because keep in mind this was all between 5:45am and 8am, maybe 9, I lost track) we met for beers at this little outdoor bar off of 6th st. He asked me if I take dudes home often, or some question along those lines, although not quite as ugly as it may read here, and I told him no. Not really my thing, because first of all, they know where you live, and second, then you have to deal with them in the morning. And I don't do anything at home except go to yoga and run. How do you kick someone out of bed in the morning to go to yoga? Cop out. So I'm stoked that he is in the same kind of boat that I happen to sail. One that moves quickly, often, and lives very in the moment. He said he didn't really pick up on chicks either, and wasn't necessarily trying to pick up on me the night before. I said I didn't care if he was, he fucked my brains out, and I'm just stoked we could have a good time together, even if its just for that day/night.
Then we fooled around in his bathroom, I sucked his dick, wiped the cum off my face and hopped in a cab to the airport. So romantic, I could almost cry....
But really? I would have way more one night stands if they all went this well. And I may even see this guy again sometime in my life, but what's tight about it is that I know if we do meet, we'll just have crazy mind blowing sex again, share some beers, stories, good times, and then carry on. Why can't this kind of relationship exist in your hometown? Oh yeah, cuz then its in your hometown....and it turns into a fucking relationship.
Anyway, I'm super stoked that The Music Gym and Spunk'd (SpunkdTheMovie.com) brought me out to Texas. Not only did I meet some great people, get down to some dope music, and grub on some stupid good BBQ, I got myself some dick off camera.
I don't have many sessions in my spank bank, but the ones that I do are bomb.