WHAT THE FUCK??? Why has this become such an issue for me this morning? I have never wrote and rewrote and rerewrote a fucking blog so many times. In fact, this is my 5th attempt at this morning's blog, and I finally said fuck it. Turned off my temperamental G4 laptop and came into the bedroom to write on the big kid computer. The desktop. Fuck this shit, I want to sit outside in the sunshine and write. Stupid house. Stupid blue room (I'm sitting in this room that is this intense shade of blue that would normally require high ceilings and a bit more open space to pull off). Stupid laptop.
Let it go Fuego, let it all go. Let the wave of "fuck this shit" attitude wash over your calm sandy beaches, and let the earth subdue these frustrated emotions, one grain of sand at a time. Remember this weekend? Paradise? Bitches? Boats? Booze? Sex? Perfection? Life can't always be perfect, and neither can your G4. So just chill, take a deep breathe, and try this biatch all over again.
This morning I was attempting to address the fluidity of time like Dali, except instead of melting clocks, I drew a comparison between two totally different allotments of time, and the effect they have on the brain and body.
Wednesday night: I am getting ready to go to Cabo San Lucas for a webmasters convention put on my JustBlowMe.Com. For some reason, my clocks keep melting as I try to throw all my shit together in one small, none offensive bag. I didn't even want to check luggage because I am always the person whose shit gets lost in transit. On my way back from Spain a couple years ago, the most grande suitcase I own became lost in time. Merely a traveler with no itinerary, and no sense of direction. It showed up a week later, intact, with the 4 thousand dollars cash I had stashed in it like an idiot, but regardless of its return, it became missing at one point, and was the cause of unneeded stress.
Anyway, I am fighting these clocks and their funny ticking hands and trying my best to be over at the boss' at a reasonable hour. That hour turned out to be midnight, which is a very different time than 10pm as originally predicted and intended. He is still cleaning things up and putting himself together for the trip, which makes me feel good because I hate being the only one lagging, and not ready. As the final stages of packing wind down, he hands me a new, sexy, rasta flavored pipe, and I can't help but mention that he "said he was done buying these amazingly cool pipes, and thought he had enough". That is when he said "its for you" and about ten minutes passed before I figured out what those three simple words meant.
"ummm.....what do you mean its for me?"
"I mean, I got it for you. I have enough, like I said."
Allow me to digress, and when I say allow, I am merely trying to be polite because I will digress whether you allow it or not.
I have a hard time accepting random gifts. As one of my best friends and business accountant will testify, I am a bit of a retard when it comes to receiving anything, be it a compliment, a dinner, or a coach purse. When men in my past have attempted to shower me with love and affection, and not in the sexy Al Greene kinda way, I run for the hills because I feel as though I haven't done anything to deserve such a present, and there must be some ulterior motive behind said gift. For example:
That fool Mr. X that I used to date (and I guess I am also the fool for dating him, hahaha), used to love to buy me shit. Skate shoes, which I love, jackets, purses, blah blah blah. Well, at first I was caught a little off guard, and would just accept whatever he gave me. But it quickly wore on me, and I started thinking "why the fuck is he giving me presents for no reason? There must be something wrong here."
I then asked him to stop buying me random gifts because it made me uncomfortable and I didn't know how to accept it. He said it broke his heart because he just wanted to buy me nice things. I said "I don't give a fuck about that, or nice things, I just want you." And I meant it. I was definitely the fool in that relationship. And that's not to say that I should have used him. Its just to say that had accepted a few of his gifts, I would have left the relationship with something other than a shit taste in my mouth. But that's what happens when you lick an asshole. (hahahahahhaha)
I have since been working on how to accept attention, be it given in personal interest or offerings of my favorite paraphernalia. After dissecting the issue have come to think that perhaps it is my affection toward the man that acts as a catalyst in my reaction to the gift. This is the gift.
I love it. Love it love it love it.
That whole line of thinking is probably a little too deep and honest for a porno blog, so I'll move on to the fantastic time I had in Cabo, and the lemon drops and purple hooters, Pacifico's and Miami Vice's that interfered with me taking tons and tons of pictures. I did get some hilarious shit on video, but you'll have to wait for http://www.PennyFlame.com to see that....
If you have never been to Cabo San Lucas, you should probably get Orbitz.com, and book your trip right now. Oh, and you also have to get like 30 of your friends to go too. Oh yes, and most important, you must all work together so you can call it a business trip. I had no idea that webmasters party so hard! I mean, the Phoenix Forum was a little preview of these animals!!! I posted a ton of pictures, I'm sure you can refer to them as proof.
Cabo? Webmasters are the coolest people ever because they have gypsy business parties and travel the world doing it big in every big town, having the best time ever with the hottest chicks ever.
I totally perv out on Aria Giovanni all weekend. Every time I find her (through my camera lens from a quiet distance) she is tugging on a fat cigar, smiling, big beautiful titties everywhere. Then snap, shake of the head and I remember I'm not allowed to stare and/or drool, so I look away, and sitting next to her, Jelena Jensen, fucking just as fine. Tits galore. Then Trisha Uptown (Underpantalones!), Lia 19! Then to top it all off, the scenery is beautiful!
(I'm thinking about stalking them, but I'm not sure how they'd feel about it. I guess I don't have to tell them......that's the fun part about stalking right?)
We partied all day by the pool, and then took it out to Ron's ridiculously dope yacht for a sunset cruise up the coast, watched the sun set and understood why the colors of the buildings all came from with the sky and the earth, the old world adobe blending perfectly into the sand of the desert beach and the glow of the sinking sun.
I will be returning every year for this convention, this congregating of dedicated partiers and brilliant business friends, and I have a feeling it will only get better, and I will only fall in love with them all more.
But I guess that's life right?
I had a great time at work yesterday too, but this is already so long, I'm gonna call it quits. So, look for my next blog soon....I'm bursting at the seams.