On Fire by Penny Flame
Penny Flame gets plastered, naked at the bar, and hilarity ensues
So a couple nights ago was the XRCO Awards for any of you who don't know. As talent I am kind of required to attend these events, whether I want to go or not, whether I'm up for awards or not...(and I was up for two biatch!!!) (but took home none LOL)
The bitches all go to this shit cuz we got to be seen ya dig?
I think my favorite thing about going to these kind of shows is not that they are held at bars, even though I do like bars, but that bar is full of the hottest, sexiest, dirtiest, whoriest women on earth. My friends!
So what do I do?
I get excited and I drink myself silly. Thats what I do. And I do it well. So well in fact that....
Porno Dan at one point has me totally naked, legs up on the bar, while he went to town on my drunken twat! Good times, me and that one...he tracked the progression of my inebriation with multiple interviews.
The first, a reasonable sound woman with intelligent commentary.
The second, (three redbull vodkas later) "Dan, why don't we just do some shots!"
The third, (six redbull vodkas and 4 shots later, and my volume control out the door) "DAN I DOONT SPEKA DA BOOZE BOOZE SWIM LETSCHMAKEOUT!"
The fourth, (nine redbull vodkas 6 shots later) "I WISHTHUR WASH ALLWAYS A WEBMASER PARTY, YOUS GUYS ARE AAANNNNIMMMAAAALLLLSSSSSHHHHH! I WANNA BE A WEBMASER GROUPY MAKEY LIKE FUCKFUCKS!!!"
By the end of the night, I had no idea where I was, how I was getting home, or who I was supposed to be with, so thankfully, Just Dave took me and deposited my sloshed ass with D. Pierce, who said, almost verbatim, "I wanted to take advantage of you while you were naked in my bed but you were too damn drunk!"
I guess Just Dave gave possession of the Fuego over to D, and as soon as D pulled into his garage I bounced out of the car and started making my way down his alley and back toward the road, barefoot. He lassoed me, brought me into his home, watched as I stripped off all my clothes, said "Thank you Just Dave you are such a good friend to me" and then passed out face first in his bed.
I woke up the morning after.....thank you god.....and figured I'd get on GFY and see if anybody has pictures of me from last night. Which is where the above pictures came from...
Oh, and I want to thank Just Dave. You really are a good friend, and I don't know why I told you my car was in topanga, but I'm glad you didn't listen to me and just gave me to Derek. It was a good play my brotha. My shit was off Vineland and Ventura.
And thanks Porno Dan, those fucking shots of goose set me over. Goddamn birds. YOU GUYS ARE ANIMALS!!!!