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Kayden Kross Blog

Freudian Slip?

Dilemma. I just did this for probably the tenth time in the last 48 hours. I tried to type the work busy and instead typed busty. I actually just did it again while I was typing that line. Damn.

Nevermind that the T is practically making love to the Y on the keyboard. Take a minute to look down at your own keyboard. See? I have to reach across the T to get to the Y with my index finger. But I've never really stumbled on that leap before. This can only mean one thing:

I want bigger boobs.

That pisses me off. I don't want me to want bigger boobs. Right now they're still at that size where the untrained eye thinks they're real. I should really keep it that way. I'm convinced they've gotten smaller. How the fuck does saline shrink? These things should come with a warranty. Or a bike pump. I thought maybe it was because I finally started going to the gym last year, because they're under the muscle, maybe they just looked smaller because my new giant chest muscles were squishing them. The thing is, I don't have new giant chest muscles. I'm not any stronger than I was a year ago.

Then, I thought maybe I've just gotten bigger and so they look smaller. I ran to the scale. Nope. I weigh the same amount I weighed when I got them four years ago. Fuck! Where have my boobs gone? Could it be my posture? Doubtful.

I'm ready to go in for the final measure. The Macy's measure. They'll take a little measuring tape and put a pretty virgin salesgirl in the dressing room with me (she'll probably even be wearing nylons and close-toed two inch pumps) and she'll tell me exactly how many inches my boobs come off my chest and exactly how many inches around my chest is without my boobs and prescribe a bra size. Last time I was a 32D. My chest was 32 inches around and my tits were four inches off of my chest. That is the same as a 34C the way it fits. If my boobs only come off 3 inches instead of a glorious 4, then I'm going to the doctor. He's going to explain to me where my water bags evaported to.

Further dilemma: let's say it's not just in my head. If they really are smaller, do I bump it back up? I remember what I went through the first time. It was wonderful. The boyfriend and the best friend doted on me during my "recovery". I didn't have to work for three weeks. I just layed around and read books and had some sex and watched some TV.... And ate vicoden like candy. Do I really want to put myself through this again? I don't know. I would hate for the second surgery to have to live in the shadow of the first. That's the other thing... I have no scarring or loss of feeling right now. What if I do it again and something goes horribly wrong. What if one of my nipples flatline on the table? I'd be out of a job if I lost a nipple.

The technology has changed though. Now they have those gummy bear things... I could have big candy flavored tear drop boobies. It's amazing what money can buy these days. God I feel really old when I talk about changing technology and 'these days'. The second I fix my boobs I'll probably be ready for my first face lift. I can feel the collagen making a dramatic exit as we speak.

Nah. I'm looking at my schedule. No time for new boobies or a face lift. Oh well. Padded bras are on sale at Victoria's Secret.

Here are said boobs as seen from the front.

 And from the side... Couldn't be more than 3.5 inches out at the most....


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