Eva Angelina's Blog
My Dilemma With Masturbation
I'd hate to say this, but if you ever were to ask me for an example of a "love / hate relationship" in my life....I would most definitely say my relationship with masturbation. This tragic dilemma I have all started at the tender age of...well...lets leave it to your imagination. I felt that tingling sensation down there for the first time. I discovered that it felt really good when I would run it against things. From that point on it was all down hill. By the age of....ummm....a year later... I was called Miss Hump-A-Lot by my fellow peers. I would be caught humping anything from stuffed animals to a couch's arm rest (later I called that, "couch sex") oh lord... By the age of...(I don't want to get anyone in trouble)... I was a full blown masturbating addict. Anything I could stick inside me I would. I was always up for a challenge too. I suppose I was subconsciously preparing for my future career in the adult industry. Once I lost my virginity a couple of years later, I had found my only remedy to my addiction. Little did I know it was temporary. Sex was the new best thing. For example, when people are addicted to Playstation 2. They had to buy every game possible. Any moment they had available they would play their Playstation2. Their world revolved around it. But then...when they came out with the new Playstation 3...They had to have it. That became all they thought about. The Playstation 2 was packed up and put away. In my case, masturbation was packed away and SEX was my Playstation 3. So long and behold, sex was the object of my affection for the next 9 years. Last year I unpacked my Playstation 2. oh man...I probably shouldn't have done that. Masturbation got rediscovered with the help of....THE MAGIC WAND...Just having sex was not enough. I would spend hours alone masturbating in the dark. When my then fiance moved into my house I had to resort to hiding my addiction in fear of his ego possibly getting ruined. I kept my wand in my car at all times. I would create any excuse possible to spend a moment in the garage. Like an alcoholic i would run in to garage, lock the door, plug in the wand, and make myself nut squatting next to my car. WTF! I felt like a junkie, finding an excuse to run off to the bathroom to quickly slam some brown. I even felt guilty about it and finally confessed to my husband. I could have sworn he was going to think I was crazy until one night while having some crazy, stoned sex he suggested I use the wand while he fucked me. Oh Jesus Christ! Put it this way...that became my new favorite thing to do. I was using that FUCKING magic wand so much, not only was I bruising my pussy bone, but it was now taking my 20 to 30 minutes to just cum once....IF AT ALL!!! But you know what really sucks? Because of my magic wand abuse my clitoral orgasms are painfully not doing it for me like it used to. I crave that satisfaction that I rarely. After I cum I just want to cum again....geez no mercy. As a result, I created a cycle, a method, stages, rules and regulations (called it what you want) to masturbating. This was by force.
Rules and Regulations (thankfully there's only 3)
1) I can only masturbate once a day (unless extremely frustrated)
2) I can only masturbate 4 days in a row
3) I can only masturbate after 2 days on break.
Method (this is for the sole purpose of efficiency...I have ADD)
1) I have to be in the dark
2) I have to be laying down in a 45 degree angle
3) I have to have a blanket over my body (the wand is kind of loud so it distracts me)
4) I can not have the T.V. on either
Wow....how pathetic am I? Never have I thought my unmedicated ADD give me so many problems with masturbation....do you see why this is a love/hate relationship? There's only one problem I have now. When these guidelines were created I was having sex anywhere from 3 to 5 times a day and averaging about 20 organisms at home alone. Now that I am pregnant things have obviously changed and not with my masturbation technique. I don't have sex on camera anymore. Only to prevent the risk of contracting and STD and passing it along t my child. This eliminates one guaranteed lay a day. In addition to that, my husband is quite the porn star out here in the U.S. Therefore, he needs to save his nut and I have to be a good wife and be understanding and try not to bitch. So there goes all my orgasms for the day. Now, I am in my 4th month of pregnancy (mind you...my most sexual month thus far) and only limited to 4 orgasms a week. WTF! It's only a matter of time before I go insane and have muppet sex dreams and get in fights with people at amusement parks...wow I have a lot to blog about...