head fucking over. That is the phrase that would best describe my feelings. But we aren't going to talk about my feelings, we are going to talk about the blog, the whole blog, and nothing but the blog. So help me blog.
I just got back from a party where every single person I spoke with said how dope they thought the bossman was. And I had to agree, being that I blow him at any given time, morning, noon, night, and that kind of commitment requires me to think he may be one of the coolest people I have yet to meet. And I think he may be.....
I'm sorry, please allow me to digress. HE is not the purpose of my blog tonight, although our experiences together are. Smiley face.
So I'm in vegas right, and my buddy Hard Korey is talking about this 10 that he brought back to his room the night before, saying how he face fucked her and what not. (btw, I can hear my neighbors fucking and its making me so horny I don't know what to do. Thank god for my arsenal of toys....)
So Hard Korey found a 10. And she was a 10 my friends, the bitch was banging. She had these cute little white shorts that could have been see through in less than 5 seconds, she had this sweet little face that made me question whether she had ever sucked a dick or not. But all that changed the second she walked into man party.
Now let me tell you a little bit about man party. Man party was the awesome party that took place on the tenth floor of the hardrock hotel, and I, yes, your fliggity flame, was the only woman for a long time, invited into man party. SO once Hard Korey got his 10 to join us, I felt like it was my job to get her into bed, being that I am the only woman in the casa and it is always easier for another bitch to get another bitch in bed if we are the only bitches. (my neighbors are still fucking and I'm about to start drunk dialing in 5....4....3.....2....)
So five minutes after she comes in, I take her by the hand and lead her into the bedroom. I push her into bed and jump in next to her body, saying that they will be jealous when they see us in bed, sheets moving like a cyclone, because I know they will. Its just a matter of who will join us first. Isn't that always the problem?
Well nobody comes in. IN fact we wait so long that we start to get hot under the covers (I don't wanna get her naked right away, I know my boys will enjoy the undressing ceremony as well), so we start to get a little curious as to why nobody has joined us and pull the covers down. FINALLY Bossman comes in (like I knew he would that smart juicy brain boy) and crawls in bed on my side. I say he makes good meat and ask him to lay between us. Very sexy. Now all I can think about is him fucking her and looking at me, so fucking sexy, I don't know what else to do but start touching her. So I did. I touched her. Starting at that soft little fuzzy patch of peach fuzz on her lower back. And then that led me down to her bottom. Which was round and juicy as well.
Hard Korey comes in and realizes we have a good thing going on. A really good thing. So I make Hard Korey lay on his back so we can sit on his cock and I can show her how to properly choke a person. She follows. In fact, the girl is hungry for knowledge, wants to know allllllll about pleasing someone, and being the natural teaser and pleaser I am, I give her some 101 tips, and not in that crowded LA freeway way. Pretty soon we are rubbing nipples and making out and I am grabbing her butt.
Then she climbs on top of Hard Korey and I take my place on top of my sexy man of the year, and there on the bed we had the perfect set-up for the perfect foursome. I couldn't have made it any better. My man from OC gave me a couple licks, and then being the good man he is, stepped to the side because he too saw the potential for an awesome foursome. Well.
For some reason, Hard Korey got scared and brought the bitch into the bathroom. Bossman and I immediately agreed that our foursome would never happen if two of the players were in the bathroom so he told me to go lick her pussy and (suck his dick if necessary) and bring them all back to the bed. Side.
I sneak over to the bathroom door and find it unlocked. Yum. Slowly, I turn the doorknob, to reveal? She is backed up against the wall and he is backed up against the door and in my way as far as opening is concerned, and I walk in that motherfucker, pull her panties off and start licking her tiny little well shaved pussy. And what does Hard Korey do in reaction to my attack?
He leaves. He puts his dick away and leaves the bathroom, TOTALLY RUINING any chance at a foursome that we ever had. The chick let me lick her for a few more seconds, got her shit and pretty much bounced outta man party. We talked about it for hours. Gave Hard Korey shit for fucking it all up, and then moved on. Like you do in Vegas. You let go.
Well later that night, I'm sitting at dinner in NOBU, fancy schmancy, and she is sitting at the table next to me. She starts talking, telling me what she's been doing while she's been out here, and about all the guys she's blown.
Well she didn't really tell me about all the guys she blew, but she didn't have to. Instead, she told me that the night before, her night with Hard Korey, during the "romantic" bj she gave him, she managed to pull out two pieces of 8x10 paper, write up an agreement, and make him sign it, the agreement stating that he "Hard Korey" would send her 25 sign-up's a day.
YOU'RE A FUCKING INTERNET HOOKER?!?!?!?!?!
I had no clue! I don't think anybody did. So I ask Hard Korey about it, and he laughes, saying "yeah, I signed it. Fuck." So I said
Me: Of course you did, you're a man. What the fuck else are you gonna say with your dick in her mouth? You're gonna say whatever the fuck she wants!"
Hard Korey: "Oh my god you're right!"
Me: "I know, There are two times when you don't ask a man serious questions, especially ones regarding business. During sex, and after sex. You guys will do whatever we want, so its just not fair."
Hard Korey: "You're right! Its not!"
So as much as we all tried that night to help him to understand the nature of the hooker, he just could not grasp. So I told him this. I said.
Me: Listen, any bitch down at the bar all by herself with a small purse and a small dress is a hooker. Look out.
Hard Korey: "No....all of em?"
Me: "Yes. All of them are fucking hookers. Look out."
Hard Korey ended up meeting another hooker on this trip, but fortunately, all she wanted was weed, so her thirst was quenched, and the bitch didn't charge him shit for the bj. She did, however, try to charge for her company later that night at the club, Hard Korey's response:
Hard Korey: "Are you fucking kidding me? You'll suck my dick for pot and hang out for 1500? All I wanted was for you to suck my dick!"
Me: Told you so.
So the next night we go out to Tryst. I'm with Bossman, because I like bossman, and I've been unable to walk next to him without thinking about fucking him for the whole weekend, and I actually just like kicking it with him. So we're at this club. Limo, bottle service, vi fucking p, and like what? The bitches roll too. So M-dizzle from NA finds three cute little girls to kick it. One for him, one has a boyfriend, and then the last one is up for grabs. Its her 21stbirthday, and she is stoked to be in vegas. Little does she know.
So she starts hitting on Bossman right away. Which I like. I like to watch him interact with other breezies because I know how he is with me, and I like to see how he works his magic. I like to see him put his game out, and then pull it back in like the Alaskan king crab fisherman. I wanna see what the man can pull. So he starts pulling.
I hate trying to run game on a bitch. Either you wanna make out with me on the dance floor or not. This chick did not. NO, she wanted to dance. And I did not. I mean, fuck, why am I gonna go dance on the dancefloor with tons of sweaty icky people when my boys just dropped like 5 g's on bottles and a booth with a couch I can dance on. So being the good man, no, great man that bossman is, he takes the bitch to go dance. Goooooooood, go dance. Make-out with her too please. And he does. He comes back and tells me. Next she wants to go to the bar. (yes, 5 g's on bottle service wasn't enough, this bitch wants more). So he takes her to the bar. He comes back and tells me that he's been kissing her, and she's into it, and I should holler. Approach.
So I approach.
Immediately, I realize that she is a silly little 21 year old wanna be slut with no intentions of sucking my pussy. Whatever, I tell him this, but I add to it.
Me: "Yo, she definitely doesn't wanna fuck me, but tell her that you'll take her home and fuck her if I can just sit and watch."
So he tells her this. And what does the bitch say?
Are you fucking kidding me? I'm offering up some of the best dick that I've ever had (and I've had enough to make a valid judgement call) and all you have to do is let me watch? And you're gonna say no bitch?
Wow. fucking wow. I don't even know what to say at this point, but Bossman, being bossman, sums it up real right. Its lines like these that guarantee you head, even if you're too drunk to receive it, or you feel like snapping yourself on the head with a condom.
Bossman: "I came here with P, and I'm leaving with her, so you can either come or not."
She chose not. And I'm glad. Because I got to go home and show him how much I appreciated his good nature and his sexy giving attitude, and more than anything, it just guaranteed him a front of the line space in the Penny Flamerhorn mountain ride. Man.
If only every man was as good as him. I would never trip about bringing a bitch home. But I suppose that's why I always want to give him presents. Because at the end of the day, he know's where they came from, and he knows who to write the thank you letter to.
Vegas is funny like that though. The ones who you don't think are whores turn out to be the biggest hookers on earth (my test came back clean btw), and then the ones who should have put out (this chick is gonna be real disappointed in vegas next time she goes, no limo, no bottle sevice, no vip cuz you ain't vip bitch, you're with vip), go home drunk and lonely.
If you decide to go to vegas, keep with the motto. What happens there stays there. If you start giving a fuck you will meet girls like me, with blogs and big mouths, who will bring your shitty bad whore story back home for the whole world to read.
Try being a better whore. That goes for the both of you.