ASSk Joanna: Anal Introduction Time, Bored in Bed With Girlfriend and Nymphomaniac, Inkaholic Predicament

Over the years, my ass has met a lot of different kinds of people and
learned a lot of things. It is knowledgeable on a variety of subjects,
ranging from Tommy Pistol, to ketchup bottles, to ASStrophysics.
Throughout the years, you've spent hours getting to know my ass...but
you've never had the chance to really talk to it. It's about time my
ass shared some of its intellect with my beloved fans!

So please: SUBMIT A QUESTION to my ass!It will bestow its worldly knowledge upon you all. As you may know, my
ass has a very hectic schedule; so don't be offended if it doesn't
answer your question right away.

I look forward to hearing from you!

xoxo

Joanna Angel (and her Ass)

To submit a question, please write into [email protected].

Questions will be posted WITHOUT names and information. Don't worry - your sexual inquiries are secret safe with us!

Connected to one of the premier starlets in
the industry, Ms. JOANNA ANGEL of BurningAngel.com, when do you think anal sex should be introduced into a
relationship when it takes sexual flight? First encounter of intimacy?
Second? Etc.? This is to seek advice with respect to statistics, as it
seems the male always wants it, but the female doesn't, usually, so
when do you feel it's a safe time for a man's approach? Thanks.

Sincerely, Without It For Too Long 

If
you have to over-think it so much with someone, then it probably isn't
appropriate. If you are on a first date with a girl and you're like,
getting down and dirty, and you're like, "Man, I really wanna put it in
her ass but I don't know if she'll be into it"...then she probably
won't be. You will know when you are with that special someone who
wants it in their ass on the first date.

Anyways,
I am not sure what else to say. There is no right number of dates or
hours you need to spend with someone before anal sex is appropriate,
every situation is different. You know when you were like, in 5th
grade, the thought of just kissing a girl seemed daunting? I mean,
knowing when to make a move was one of the most stressful things a kid
in elementary school faces...and then as you grow up...you just know.
You only have to think about whether you should lean over and kiss
someone for like, five minutes, instead of five weeks. As you go
through life, you just kinda figure things out. This will happen with
anal sex eventually...maybe it just hasn't happened to you.

Alright
Joanna, I've got two really serious questions. First question: I'm in
kind of a spot with my girlfriend. I love her to death; am probably
going to pop the question one day, and everything about our life
together is great, except when it comes to the sex. When we first
started dating, everything was great, and even when we go at it now,
it's still a shit-load of fun, but it just doesn't get me off anymore.
She gets hers - no problem - but it's rare that I get mine. I mean,
I've tried everything, we've switched it up, gone through every
position we can find and even some we made up!, the girl does anal and
she even gives me a threesome once in a blue moon. The threesome is
about the only way I get anything cause I got someone different to play
with. Can you help me, give me tips...any advice? And question number
two: would you come out to Maryland and have a threesome with me and my
girlfriend? The only girls she ever agrees on are always fuckin'
gorgeous and inked. She won't settle for anything less, so I figure I
should fuckin aim high...and that's you.

- Unable-To-Cum-With-Sweetie 

Well
Unable-To-Cum-With-Sweetie, since I am just an ass, I don't have a
driver's license. I know - it's totally messed up, but the DMV wont
even let me take the test. I have to depend on Joanna to take me
everywhere, and she's pretty busy. I don't know if she has the time to
fit a Maryland threesome in her schedule but, I'll see what I can do.

About
your problem...I don't think you should pop the question until you have
this issue figured out. You don't want to be one of those married
couples that never has sex...now do you? You'll just wind up hating
each other and cheating on each other and shit will just get ugly. This
whole thing sounds pretty depressing. You should try watching porn
together, maybe experiment with some role playing games, or I
dunno...maybe you should try, like, banging a dude. It sounds like you
have a pretty amazing girlfriend that other guys would die for. I have
an idea...why don't you let me date your girlfriend for awhile and you
go and like, find yourself?

Dear
Joanna's Ass, I'm a nymphomaniac inkaholic with a problem. I'm about to
do the unthinkable for most girls and get my pussy tatted. Now, I know
with tattoos, you're not supposed to fuck around with them during the
healing process, which means no getting my snatch pumped nice and hard
for a couple weeks or however long it takes to heal. Any ideas on how
to get around this dilemma? I'm guessing just take it up the butt for
awhile and suck off as many guys as I can, but what if the urge for
cock is too strong for my twat to resist? I really want my pussy
tatted, but don't know how long I can hold out. Please help!

Sincerely, Out of Order Pussy (O.O.P.)

Yo, reading this question kind of turned me on. Miss O.O.P., you are awesome. *Smack* HI FIVE!

I dunno. Go get the
tattoo...I think it will suit you. You need that pussy tattoo, you will
be doing the world a great disservice if you don't get one! You'll be
OK. Just breathe. You can do it.