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Clowning Around With Dick Chibbles


 


 


I have recently noticed that everyone here on Xcritic (as well as every other adult site) always focus strictly on the women of the industry and nobody even takes a second to look at the male talent. I think that there ought to be more attention and appreciation for the male talent out there because despite what most men think, porn is not an easy job so I set out on a mission to find a great male talent to give you a look into the life of a male performer. Sluts and horn dogs I present to you the man behind the “dick” and clown costumes, Dick Chibbles. 

My first question for you is how in the fuck did you come up with the name Dick Chibbles?  

How the fuck did I come up with the name?? I’ll fucking tell you...  I fucking came up with the fucking name Dick fucking Chibbles from the fucking movie Clown Porn, a comedy I fucking did back in 2005, and the first scene in the movie I played a fucking character named “Desperate Dick" where I went on a blind date with a fucking girl who showed up at the door as a fucking Clown.  Okay that’s enough fucking here, the other two scenes in the movie I was a clown in which the director "Guido Wappenelli" asked me when he was editing the debauchery "what do you want your clown name to be?"  So out of thin air came "Chibbles the clown” a few months later at AVN in Jan, the movie was a hit and everyone started to refer to me as Dick Chibbles so I just kept the name.  

When I first saw your name I automatically thought of Kibbles N Bits, is there any correlation?

Sorry, but we are not kin.  Loll

I tried to do some research on you to find out your background before I put this interview together but had some trouble finding even a short biography so I am just going to ask some basic questions so people can know a little more about you before we get to the fun stuff...

What is your birthdates?

December 18 was the day I saw the light of life

Where did you grow up?

I was born in East New York, which is on the border of Queens and Brooklyn, grew up on Long Island and spent most of my time hanging out in Brooklyn or Rockaway Beach (yes like the Ramones song)

What was your childhood like?

I actually grew up like Jan Brady, the middle child, I have an older sister who was miss junior achievement, and a younger sister who got all the attention, so you can imagine that anything that got broken in the house, was automatically blamed on me. 

What kind of environment did you grow up in? (More specifically, your family environment, siblings, traditions, pets, stuff like that)

My upbringing was actually a very normal one.  I had plenty of pets growing up, from fish, hamsters to a husky/timber wolf hybrid named Ted.  In school I was kind of a ghost in the halls, I had a small group of friends, everyone in the school knew my name, but I wasn't very popular.  A true metal head through and through, played guitar for a few bands wearing the ripped up denim vest over the leather jacket, torn jeans with the bandana tied around the unlaced work boot, hey it was the 80's after all. 

What are your greatest accomplishments thus far in life as well as in your career?

I would have to say my greatest life accomplishment has to be doing what I'm doing now.  From the time I was 13 and saw my first porn magazine (yes before DVD’s we jerked off to pictures in a magazine) there was a pictorial boy girl scene with Ron Jeremy and Ginger Lynn and I remember saying "wow I want to be that guy someday” well people say Dreams come true to those who want it bad enough, and I'm here saying they certainly do.  I have an incredible passion for this industry and believe me as a male performer it's not for the money.  It's more about being part of something that is much bigger than you are and something people will remember you after you're gone.

In my personal life my greatest accomplishment has to be when I did the Appalachian Trail. Three weeks and four hundred and ten miles I hiked I never thought I would make it, but somehow I did.  Yeah I know it’s a little bit more than your average walk after thanksgiving dinner right.

Have you had any other jobs outside of the adult industry? What were they and why did you find they were not a choice to continue for the long term?

I was a pro wrestler for a number of independent federations up and down the east coast.  I owned my own successful interior design consultation firm as well as a pro wrestling school.  I did that until I moved out to California in 2001  

  

 

Ok, now it’s time for the fun stuff...

How did you decide that you wanted to enter the adult industry and how did you make that actually that happen? 

Believe me, for a guy in the adult industry it wasn't easy moving up at all.  I moved to California with my ex wife in 2001 and ended up being single a few months later.  I found myself with the opportunity of following one of my childhood dreams.  I truly did it on my own; I didn't know anyone in the business that gave me a break or a friend of a friend type situation.  I got online and did a shitload of research into the industry.  I found a bunch of industry events that I attended and networked myself as well as a few postings looking for talent in which I answered.  My first scene was completely nerve racking.  It was a total disaster; I popped early, and then had some wood issues getting back into the scene.  I took a few minutes and went into the bathroom and stared in the mirror for about five minutes.  Thinking to myself, fuck I guess this is a lot harder than it looks on film.  I took a few breaths and said to myself, “Relax and get it out of your head”...  I walked back onto the set and the girl said, "Hey for the next half hour you and I are the only ones in the room” just that alone made my day.  Needless to say the scene ended up being really hot from that moment on.  The drive home was kind of mixed emotions "can I do this?" I figured I'd give it another shot and the following scene was a breeze went perfectly. The producer liked my performance so much I am still in house male talent for them today.  I nailed down as many shoots as possible over the next couple of years while working full time until 2005 when I was asked to do a crazy comedy called Clown Porn.  That movie changed my life.  I started shooting for bigger companies after that and got enough work to quit my regular job as a set designer / set builder.   I guess it's all about perseverance.  

How did you go from being a performer to a director?

I still perform in fact I’m primarily an actor/performer.  I got into directing because I have always been into writing and love the process of turning an idea in your mind into something that you can visually share with others.  It's my way of expressing a vision in my head.  Directing without a doubt is probably one of the hardest ventures to tackle. It took three years knocking on doors and pitching movie ideas in which some ended up being stolen and done by the very same people I pitched them to.  I opened my own company and secured funding to make my first feature. I have quite a number of screenplays that I wrote and picked the best one which became my SAW parody.  More of an original than a parody, it had its own original storyline but loosely tied in the basic outline of the jigsaw killer from SAW.  A couple of director friends of mine David Lord and Barrett Blade who were in the film helped me quite a bit on set with plenty of technical advice.  My crew consisted of my friend Jack Vegas who helped me with building the props, and Aaron T and Guido Wappenelli as my camera guys.  The fun part of writing and directing has to be when I write a screenplay and a new character starts to take on a certain personality.  I then think of someone I know in the industry that fits that character and write with him or her in mind to play it.  Certain phrases they say a type of mannerism they have.  Or what’s even better is when you have them play the complete opposite of who they are.  Being talent and working with these people all these years I’ve taken note to know most of the actors and actress strong and weak points.  Directing an actor is a lot easier for someone playing a character that is much like their own personality, or polar opposite if they have a good sense of humor and can make fun of themselves.  

You are known as the guy that makes clown porn, what is it that you love about clowns involved in explicit sex acts? Does it actually turn you on or is it more comedy to you? 

Believe it or not, I was a hired actor for the original Clown Porn movie in 2005 from Ramco Productions.  I basically became the face and dubbed "the king of Clown Porn" along with my co-star and very dear friend Hollie Stevens as "the Queen of Clown Porn".  I became very good close with team Ramco and part of the writing team for the second movie "Clown Porn Crimewatch" as well as an independent mainstream Clown spaghetti western "Crackwood" which starred Gilbert Gotfried, Lemmy from Motorhead, Ted Lange (Isaac from the love boat) and a few others.  The Clown Porn movie is all about comedy and making fun of humanity in every way from idiocracy of society to just being the only species on earth that watch each other have sex, I mean watching people fuck is pretty hilarious if you really read body language.  At first putting on the clown make up was a bit strange I will admit to that; however it actually brought out a side of me that I never knew I had.  It's like wearing a mask on Halloween that allows you to become a far more intense version of yourself.   You should try it sometime; it’s kind of like being a Dr Jeckl and Mr. Hyde.   

You also do horror porn films and just all around creepy, weird stuff. What is it that inspired you to go about doing these types of films as opposed to the "normal" fuck films?

I have always been a true fan of horror.  It taps into every insecurity and fear of mortality.  I'm more into the psychological ones than the gore fests but all around horror movies are indeed my favorite.  As for what inspired me to do horror porn than the average fuck film that's easy.  Obviously I’m not afraid to do things a little different.  I figured to do what I love and in a way that will completely stand out.  Whether it is ridiculous comedy or horror.  Besides, Sex and fear are actually very similar they both heighten your senses and keep you stimulated.  That’s why you bring a date to a scary movie so they cling on to your arm right?

What has been your favorite film you have either appeared in or created thus far? Please explain...

I would have to say my favorite film that I appeared in has to be Axel Braun's Star Wars xxx; I mean shit I played Chewbacca.  What an honor it was to portray a character from one of my all time favorite childhood movies.  Not to mention pull off the most difficult scene of my career.  Sex with two hot storm troopers (Brandy Aniston & Eve Laurence) in a boy/girl/girl anal scene.  The whole time on set for the week I was trying to figure out how I'm going pull off the scene being in a Wookie outfit that weighed about forty pounds.  Not to mention was about a hundred and thirty degrees inside of it.  Hell it got me two AVN award nominations and an Xbiz nomination.  And yes Axel if you’re reading this I’d be honored to play Chewie in “Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi”.  My favorite movie that I created is a split between the SAW parody and the new Clown Porn movie I just did for charity in which I am donating the proceeds in my late friend Hollie Stevens name.  I am extremely proud of the film and especially the tribute to Hollie on the DVD in which we put together interviews of her, some of her friends along with outtakes and bts from the times we all spent together.  

I have seen you (along with 99.9% of the industry) are highly against Measure B so I would like to hear your personal reasons in why you take the stance that you do... 

My feelings on the whole measure B is quite simple if the foundation that drove the spike was so concerned about stopping the spread of HIV then their administration cost would be much less and research would be more focused on a cure and not demonizing the only industry in the country that actually gets tested for HIV.  After doing tons of research into foundations and charities for which to donate the proceeds from the Clown Porn movie, I’ve learned that many of these foundations and research programs for diseases the majority of the money does not actually go to real research to find a cure but in fact the majority goes to “administration costs”, suppressive pharmaceutical therapy or into someone’s pocket and not to find an actual cure.  The truth.  People were straight up lied to at the voting booths.  What easier way to make money than to exploit an industry that is deemed taboo in society.  You know someone got rich on insulting our intelligence and disrupting our means of employment.  You and I know dam well that almost everyone watches porn in some way shape or form but most will not admit to it, which is why it's the perfect industry to sink your fangs into and look like a hero in societies eyes.  Talk about being responsible?  As far as I have always understood there is no law that we have to be tested for STD’s.  So, as an industry we have self instituted a safe working environment by implementing HIV and STD testing which is not government mandated.  At least that’s how I understand it went down that way.  Their answer to everything is wrap it up in latex.  Well Mr. Wizard, just so you know all diseases that are in the adult industry do not come from the industry but in fact are introduced from the general public.  If they really wanted to make a difference they should really educate every person at the age of sexual activity to be responsible and get tested regularly.  Shit any girl that I’ve been with industry or not in the past decade I’ve asked to see a test and if they didn’t have one, I waiting a couple of days for results.  “Acting on impulse leads to infection” Let's be realistic you're far more at risk meeting someone in a bar dating them for a month and having sex with them with a condom then that one time it slips in, in the heat of passion and end up positive than showing up on a set with paperwork in hand.  Trust me your mind is a lot more at ease and sex is much more enjoyable if you’re “responsibly safe”.  I've had sex with over 2000 women just in the adult industry alone in the 1500 plus scenes I’ve done just in the past decade.  I will be the first to admit I've had Chlamydia and gonorrhea.  However with that statistic I’ve had it less than fingers on my right hand.  Measure B is nothing more than a money making scandal that got millions of dollars out of tax payers in Los Angeles county and it will eventually come back to bite the mom and pop voter when the industry leaves California and they are stuck making up x amount of billions of dollars in taxable revenue that will be gone.   

What is something that you take part of or do often that people would not expect of you? 

Something that people would not expect from me?  Hmm well let's see.  Being from New York most people think that I'm all cities, however I'm actually an avid outdoorsman.  I rock climb, hike and love camping.  I also love to cook.  Since there isn't a respectable Italian restaurant in all of southern California that I've found yet, I make my own.  

What advice would you give to male performers (or wannabe male performers) out there on the industry and performing?

Not to be a hater but I really would suggest keeping their day job, there’s way too much competition in this industry as it is.  But if your heart is really set on a dream similar to mine and not because you want to fuck hot chicks.  Believe me that fades pretty quickly in this business when you realize that it's a really stressful career and here’s an example of how you have to handle stress.  There really is no way to mentally prepare yourself to shoot for a big company when you realize that you are the one that the entire production relies on.  Figure this; you show up on set, the location is paid for, sometimes a couple of thousand dollars, the girl you’re working with is getting paid, the camera crew is getting paid, the catering is getting paid, and the director is getting paid.  Basically a small army is getting paid regardless if your cock works or not.  And now you start the scene, the girl you’re working with for some reason is in a bad mood or you just might not have any chemistry with each other.  Everyone is standing around there’s an issue with the lighting, so now you have to wait but get it up right when the director says action.  Fuck in some of the most uncomfortable positions on the hardest surface and coldest/hottest days of the year after sitting around on set for 11 hours with not much food.  There’s a camera between your legs that you can’t bump into cause it’ll fuck up the shot.  Everyone is waiting for you so they can eat lunch, wrap for the day or whatever it is they have to do next. If for any reason you’re struggling to get it up now you put the whole production over budget on time, and God forbid if your cock doesn’t work or you can’t cum on command and finish, you just cost the production company a ton of money.  Rests assure us do all talk and intermingle with each other.  Chances are you're not going to get booked again.  Without a doubt it's an extremely stressful job for any guy.  Girls make twice as much as you do most of the time and a lot of the times you’re doing eighty percent of the work.  You'll only be popular from your belly button to your thigh.  

 

-- sponsored by --

What about for females?

I would not suggest this business for girls who are just looking for a quick buck.  There’s nothing worse than a girl is only showing up for a paycheck, just ask any director, producer or male performer in the industry. It really does show on camera.  However, if you have a good head on your shoulders, you genuinely want to be in the industry and if this is something you’re looking to get into as a career move then I'm sure you'll do fine.  

 

 

Some of the infamous "Why the Fuck Are You Asking Me This Shit?" questions...

Would you rather be Ned Flanders or Donny Osmond?

I would much rather be Ned Flanders, although he's a lefty and I think that's weird (go figure) I actually find myself texting "okaly dokaly" pretty often.  Besides I always had a crush on Marie Osmond and it would just be wrong to want to get a blowjob from her and wanting to be her brother.  that's "just plain wrong" 

What is the strangest item that you own, you know, one of those things that would make people ask why the fuck you even have it?

Hmm,  uhh I actually have quite a bit of bizarre things in my home and possession.  I think I’ll just make a list 

1. Mold of a bigfoot print

2. Life-size prop camel (it was actually a prop from the nativity scene of the old Ed Sullivan Show.

3. 6' painted stick propped up against the wall in my living room (actually it was my walking stick when I did the Appalachian Trail)

4. A huge railroad spike from the 1800's I found on a mountain bike ride 

5. Top loader VCR

6. 4 huge head sized rocks (because I thought they looked interesting)

7. A huge plethora of flashlights 

8. A foam fish head

9. A huge collection of the most bizarre hats. 

And number 10 the all time strangest item that I own is

10. A Christmas snowman wind chime that hangs in my living room all year round (not because I like Christmas but because it reminds me of home)

How many blades do you prefer on your razors?

The more the better, if they made a razor with twenty-five blades I'd get it.

Seeing as you enjoy the unusual would you or have you made food porn? If so, what type of food would be involved and why?

That's easy a girl covered in sushi.  The problem of growing up on an island is that you have no choice but to love seafood, which is why I love sushi.  However it would be pretty fun to do a sex scene in a pool filled with jello,  you would definitely have to be wearing a scuba tank in case you went under the surface.  

You just turned into a telletubbie and it is irreversible, which one are you and what do you do with the rest of your life?

Well I ain't tinky winky, but If I turned into one of the telletubbies  I would definitely become a politician because I think they speak the same language. 

What is your idea of the perfect tea party (not the political group, like an actual tea party)?

Well first off everyone would have to be nude.  clothes are the workings of the devil, before Adam and eve ate the apple nudity was accepted (think about it)  you would wear only your favorite crazy hat and play pin the tail on the line of girls bent over picking strawberries.

Have you ever had any paranormal experiences? Please explain...

I've been doing paranormal investigations for over twenty years all over the country.  I've had plenty of them.  Actually caught two moving orbs while filming the SAW parody and yes they are on the DVD during the scene when you first see the porn director character played by David Lord.  During the filming of Paranormal Activity Hardcore parody there was some really weird stuff going on.  But for over two decades of investigating this phenomena, I have way too many stories and documented evidence to talk about in this interview, that's an entirely other talk show.  Complete with video evidence, evps and unexplainable photos to back it all up. 

Have you ever used a fleshlight? How would you compare it to an actual vagina?

You know, I’ve see them all the time, have heard they are great, however I've actually never used one on camera or in personal life.  I would actually like to try it out sometime.  Who knows maybe one of my fans will get me one.  Dam talk to the company, if I like it I’d have no problem being a spokesman for the company.  

 

 

Some final questions... 

What are your plans for the future? Are you staying involved in the adult industry for life or are there other avenues you would like to explore? 

My plans for the future kind of got fucked up by the world not ending in December, so now I have all this food stored that I am going to give some of it to the homeless.  Go ahead and laugh but I’m actually not kidding.  Industry wise,  I'm definitely a lifer in the biz and maybe someday I’ll get inducted into the hall of fame for something,  a big goal that I’m always working on is to be a contracted director for a company and make bigger and better films.   After porn when I retire, I do plan on going back to New York but not to the city but way up in the Adirondack Mountains and simply disappear and live off the land.  I will say one avenue that has always interested me which would be something that I would like to explore would be a pilot.  Not any type of pilot though, I would open a company where we take, would be daredevils up and strap them in and give them top speed hell rides through winding canyons, kind of like the adventure helicopter psychos that do the grand canyon tours.  

What is your next big project that you are you working on now? 

I just got finished putting together a movie in honor of my dear friend and clown co-star Hollie Stevens.  After she had passed away this past July I was really heartbroken and shocked.  I felt that I really needed to do something in honor of her memory and immortalize her name as truly "the Queen of Clown Porn". After finally breaking away from being known as “the clown porn guy” and finally taken seriously as an adult film actor and Director.  I put on the make up again got the word out to some mutual friends that I wanted to give tribute to our inspirational friend.  We put together one of the most insanely comedic adult films of all time "CLOWN PORN The Parody” which is releasing Jan 2013.  This was truly a labor of love and at times pretty difficult to do without her being there.  Plenty of laughs and a few tears were shed during the filming of this movie.  Hollie absolutely loved being part of Clown porn when we did the movies years ago, she was a true believer that porn is sometimes just to get together with friends have a few drinks and just laugh your ass off.  That is exactly what we created with this movie; however we went one step further.  On the DVD there are the rules for "The Clown Pong Party Game".  That's right, the movie is not just a hilarious comedy, but in fact an interactive party game that you play along with your friends.  You can only get the full party game if you buy the DVD as to deter people from stealing it from a torrent site.  Most importantly Included in the DVD is an hour long tribute to Hollie Stevens with interviews of some of her friends and co-workers, outtakes of Hollie from the original Clown Porn movies, photos and other surprises.  With help from her brother and a few of her friends we found a proper charity in which the proceeds we know will directly impact with very minimal “administration fees” The charity helps terminally ill people fulfill something on their bucket list.  Like taking their children on a trip to spend time together or have a family reunion but cannot afford to do so.  Something that can help make someone smile back on a great memory before their time of passing.  It is a great cause for a dear friend whose life was cut so short.  

Do you have anything else you would like to add or promote?

The only thing I would like to add is something that really has made an impact in the whole industry.  It’s the issue of piracy and the tube sites.  It’s really important for the porn fans to at least support the industry that they love to masturbate to.  Piracy and illegal tube sites are really killing our industry to the point that a lot of the quality adult films are slowly becoming extinct.  Due to the fact that the industry has lost so much revenue and production budgets have been cut back to the point that the industry is not moving forward to make bigger and better movies for its fans.  I'm sure people won't stop just because a handful of us are asking them to.  However if you love watching porn whether it be the five-minute jerk off session before you go to bed at night in front of the computer.  Or the full feature movie that you watch with your significant other getting you in the mood for a fun erotic evening, support the art and buy a few DVD's once in a while instead of stealing it, or get a subscription to a site to show your support of what is becoming a dying art.  Without the fans supporting us we will no longer be able to make the porn you want to see and sooner or later you'll be watching porn that has been around for years because nobody will be making anything new.  Support the things that you enjoy.  Thanks for having me. 


 

Interview by Leya Falcon


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