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My First Porn 5, 3 On Me POV and Jesse Jane's Decadent Love Doll

Spotlight Title: My First Porn #5

There are a lot of different types of porn on the market, each one catering to one group or another. Some people like Foot Fetish movies while others want to see anything with the lovely Jesse Jane in them and a limitless number of other carnal cravings help propel the market to offering so many titles for any specialty fix you can imagine. One of the most overlooked genre's of all is that of the comedy porn, with limited exceptions for the occasional blockbuster like Camp Cuddly Pines. This week's spotlight pick is an offshoot of the popular Jack's Playground series called My First Porn #5, by director Robby D. for Digital Playground.

Like the previous releases in the My First Porn series, the show centered on Robby's alter ego, Jack, as he attempted to shoot his first pornographic movie, having whet his teeth with some scenes for the related spin off series. The general idea is that Jack has a wizened mentor that offers him tips along the way as he runs into every difficulty a porn director ever had on his shoots. If you watch more than a few movies a week, you'll appreciate seeing the other side of the equation where Jack has to deal with flaky performers, stereotypical settings, and a lot of people who don't see porn as glowingly as he does since they've been jaded over time (unlike his wide eyed newbie character who thinks his ideas are the be all, end all of modern porn). In this episode, the humor started right away as Jack storms into his post production facilities to complain about a review written by Don Houston to anyone who'd listen, getting limited sympathy from his crew who agree with the body of the review against Jack's howls of disapproval.

In between scenes with hotties like Penny Flame and the amazingly appealing Jana Cova, Jack becomes the mark for everyone he runs into; providing some belly laughs from prima donnas (played by the beautiful Valentina Vaughn), box cover artists (Cody Bangs is one of the unsung heroes of comedy porn these days), and gals who don't like dialogue. The technical values showed Robby holding back his award winning skills just enough to make the Jack character believable as a loser still on the wrong side of the learning curve. The replay value was as good as ever, the ladies a fine mixture of strokable harlots, and the all important fun factor was off the charts as Jack continued his quest to make it big as a porn director. The My First Porn series isn't perfect but it comes pretty close for those of you looking for something better than a disposable fuck flick to toss aside after a few bouts of hand to gland combat and My First Porn #5 provided that something special for fans of self deprecating comedy Robby is so talented at offering up.

Highlights of The Week

Certainly one of the most favored titles of the week, Vince Vouyer's 3 On Me POV managed to provide over three hours of quality fuck for the buck with some of the most appealing looking gals in porn today. One look at the cover said it all in regards to the type of hotty used in the scenes, with the advertised point of view camera angle allowing any of you to enjoy the moments as though you were the male lead getting his pipes cleaned. The extras were plentiful and varied with a mere three scenes in which the POV guy got lucky with one, two and then three different women who all treated their partners to some excellent tease and aggressive sexual antics. Given the amount of experience Vince has with the gonzo format, it comes as no surprise that he still managed to keep the action fresh with some of the best replay value of the month.

Mistress Liss, the second best foam wrestler on the X Critic review team, had a couple of hot titles this week with Inferno; "Chris Cannon operates a bordello called "Inferno". The bordello is filled with only the best and hottest red-heads who are trained by Chris himself. A huge bravo to Chris Cannon in this film. His domineering side showed through with flying colors, and it made for a red-hot movie. I recommend all you guys and dolls out there check this one out, especially if you're into red-heads and a little bit of bondage" and To Die For; "Love is a bitch sometimes. Paul Thomas presents stories of three different relationships to show how love can truly make a person's life miserable. For those of you out there that love erotic drama and thriller moviesâ€it does not get any better than this. Let's face it; everyone has had their heart broken. Everyone has had a relationship that was going ok, until someone comes into your life and changes everything. Everyone has been mad as hell and wanted to get revenge on the lover that hurt them. I highly recommend this movie to all the guys and dolls out there, but don't watch it together when pissed off and large knives are in the vicinity."

Disco Dirge, on the other hand, took a look at director David Stanley's latest fun flick, What Are Friends For?, saying: "This loosey goosey farce is indeed a joy, both in the acting and the arousal department. Starting with a simple storyline - Randy Spears and partner Jassie are called into the service of Sappho couple Alana Evans and Courtney Simpson to provide the sperm for their in vitro love child - this cute comedy offers up some wonderful performances. While it's still more glamorous than gratuitous, it's interesting to see how groin grabbing this kind of carnality can be. Couples, however, will cream over this pretty, professional and potent package, and even those finicky fans of the hardest hardcore may be moved by the intensity of action here."

Reviewer Don Houston, booty connoisseur that he is, found a couple of ass related titles worth special consideration this week with Bubble Butt Bonanza 2; "a show where all the ladies have great looking asses full of the juicy flesh so many fans appreciate over the emaciated gals the industry tries to foist on us all too often. While most of the gals did not do anal, they all showed some serious skills with tease and a meat pipe. The ladies showed they had the right stuff to make this a solid DVD worth watching again and again. In that sense, I think fans of fleshy booty will agree with me that Bubble Butt Bonanza 2 was well worth a rating of Highly Recommended since the fuck for the buck, combined with all the other factors, was an excellent showcase for the ladies of the cast. If you prefer boyish butts, you'll want to avoid this one like the plague but real men like real booty and this had the right stuff" and Seymore Butts' Asshunt; "one of those times when the rating was clear to me without much pondering since the levels of fuck for the buck, the splendid cast, and the manner in which they enjoyed themselves were all very nicely handled. There were some rough edges on the technical side of things but this was well worth the rating of Highly Recommended for all the positive attributes it possessed. I've watched a fair amount of titles over the last couple of years from Seymore and have to say that when he gets it right, he really gets it right, earning his place near the top of the porn pantheon - not a single one let me down in terms of sexual energy, enthusiasm, and overall replay value."

-- sponsored by --

Reviewer Mike Vega, has long been known as X Critic's expert Latina lover, in more ways then one but don't ask us about it because we aren't talking. After a bit of a breather in recent weeks, he came back strong with a lot of great titles focusing on his specialty that included I Love ‘em Latin 2, Chicks and Salsa 3, Run For The Border, Lascivious Latinas 3, Barrio Booty, as well as a few titles that he tossed in for effect like Naughty Office 2, and Tug Jobs 6. In terms of sheer South of the Border action, the first five titles had some excellent performers showing Mike (and the world at large) exactly why so many men prefer the sultry moves and looks of Latina hotties over other flavors available. The amount of fucking, sucking, and just plain fun were all enough to keep his peter meter running at capacity with his personal version of tug jobs getting an awful lot of inspiration. Forgive us if we give him a few days off to recharge his batteries but the outstanding job he did with this bumper crop of well rounded bumpers was more than any man could take without a breather.

Don Houston is suspected of being strictly a booty man by many but he always finds time to enjoy women with large chests, especially all natural large chests. This was the reason he cracked open Naturally Stacked 2, to find the movie much to his liking when he said: "Bryan Xin has seemingly come a long way in recent years as a director with a vision and the skills to convey that vision on the small screen more often than not. While most gonzo and vignette directors stick strictly with a single formula that has worked for them in the past, Bryan has routinely attempted to expand his repertoire, sometimes succeeding more than a little bit against overwhelming odds. His latest release is the double disc set for Naturally Stacked 2, a show that focuses on attractive women with large breasts that like to tease, please and drop down to their knees before providing solid scenes...exactly what was advertised. The ladies all had real breasts, all showed some enthusiasm and even chemistry in most cases, and the tease added into the mix made me believe I'll look for the first volume of the series based solely on what I saw here. The extras were really good and the levels of fuck for the buck substantially better than anticipatedâ€"

New reviewer Vince Green found a couple of titles worth picking up with Ass Reamers 1; "if you like a mixed bag gonzo featuring some attractive ladies with a dose of anal, I'd recommend checking this out" and Baby Face 2: "I really enjoyed several of the scenes and performers on this disc and could see myself revisiting it down the road. Brett Maverick does a great job behind the camera during the brief interviews and the action. In the end I found this DVD to provide ample bang for your buck and would recommend you check it out if this is your cup of tea."

The Mooninite has been keeping a low profile of late but noticed that Young Sluts, Inc. #19 was "a well directed and well shot selection of five hot and heavy scenes featuring six gorgeous girls. Overall this was a really good selection of different girls, and different sex acts. There's a nice variety here, we get anal, lipstick lesbo action, and straight up hetero fucking as well. It's all shot and lit nicely and the sex is hot and genuine. The fact that all five girls are natural is a nice touch as well, no freaky implants or alterations here to take away from what is a half dozen truly pretty ladies doing their thing."

Don Houston also enjoyed a triumvirate of titles with Goo For Two #3 "another example of why director Chris Streams is on the move up. The ladies were all attractive, skilled, and motivated to have some fun with solid production values capturing them very nicely in most cases. The replay value and amount of fuck for the buck were enough to earn a rating of Recommended, giving me more reason to appreciate the talents that put all the elements together and come up with this one. It did have a few rough edges but that helped keep things visually interesting and I thought it was a fun ride for the raincoaters out there"; Gangbangers Ball, "a very simple concept flick; provide a showcase for two gals, each doing a major gangbang on film to show their enthusiasm, energy, and skill level. The extras were off the chart in terms of offering extra value and the technical matters seemed pretty good most of the time. The ladies took charge and the men tapped them orally, vaginally, and anally, with Jasmine spending a lot of time sucking and rimming male ass. In all, I was pleased with the set, especially given how affordable it was and how much fuck for the buck it provided. If you're into hardcore gang bangs, you'll likely agree it was worth a rating of Highly Recommended; and the always fun and strokable Teen America: Mission 14, having a "lot of big titty action going on" and "playful, spontaneous, and full of the kind of ladies that most men want to fuck, making it well worth your time to enjoy repeatedly."

We finish up strong with a look at Namrufmot's picks of the week including Barely Legal Spoiled Brats; "If you enjoy young looking girls fucking on camera (and who doesn't?) then this DVD delivers. Featuring a luscious cast highlighted by Taylor and Sahara these little vixens take part in some of the most intense and playful sex you'll see anywhere", Young Sluts 18; "The sex on the DVD was top notch. The girls are all sexy and energetic, they have great chemistry with their partners, and they look like they're having fun. There is one problem however - the girls really don't look that young. Mid to late twenties maybe, but that hardly qualifies as young by today's standards. So buy this DVD for the great sex, not because you expect to find teenage girls", and Barely 18 #25; "Sin City is doing something right - they do provide some of the hottest young girls around."

Adult Toy Review: Jesse Jane's Decadent Love Doll

Guys, admit it. There have been times when you've looked online or in an adult toy store at those life-size blow up dolls and thought to yourself, "Hey, maybe one of those should come home with me- I'll hide it in the closet when company comes over!" The ladies have long since had any manner of wonderful masturbation enhancing artillery to choose from, while we fellas get the occasional pocket pussy and air inflated playmate. Of late there have been some changes made in that field and some great enticements have started coming our way as well. One that seems to be all the rage is taking a famous porn star, recreating her naughtiest bits in what is supposedly an exact replica, and making them available for horny guys like me to bring home and screw to my heart's delight.

The product I'm reviewing here is one such item and its a rather upscale one, at least in terms of investment- Jesse Jane's Decadent Love Doll touts a number of state-of-the-art features incorporated into this play toy to give us guys what should be a great simulated piece of ass, on call 24/7. I happen to be one of those deviant thinking fellas who has always wanted one of these at home; when I was given an opportunity to test drive what is one of the better examples of the genre, how could I say no??

Jesse Jane is an absolutely gorgeous model/film star who has been on the covers of Maxim, Revolver and People magazines and starred in Digital Playground's Beat the Devil, Three Timing, Loaded, Jess Jane: Erotique, Virtual Sex, Contract Star, Story Of J, Posh Kitten and Pirates

To give you the details on Jessee Jane's Decadent Love Doll, I'll refer to some details given by the Calexotics website, the producer of this product. According to the press release this is the world's first head to toe single pour life-size latex doll, built with dual inflation chambers in order to reinforce the body structure; it is capable of withstanding up to 300 pounds. Removable wireless stimulator strategically positioned, with batteries included. It also comes with an inflation pump, maintenance powder, repair kit and an accessory pouch.

Now that I've put this life-sized play toy to the test, what do I think about how this latex sweetie feels in the sack? I honestly have mixed feelings. Fully inflated I'll give credit where credit is due. While I've never seen a blow up doll that looks real, this one actually has some attributes that make her come awfully darn close. Turn the lights way low and look down at this sucker and it looks alot like the real thing, at least from the neck down. The breasts and erect nipples are replicated very well; a little on the hard side to the touch, but their appearance is worth my praise. It certainly doesn't feel as if it is going to cave in under your weight; the construction of this doll is plenty sturdy.

Oral sex with this doll isn't bad at all. Calexotics fitted Jesse with a Futurotic textured mouth for a more realistic feel. The vagina should have been built with Futurotic material as well; use lots and lots of lubricant on both you and the doll before looking to get lucky with this babe, or else you're going to be dry humping pretty quickly and wake up with a sore penis in the morning. The pussy feels somewhat pleasurable, if a bit on the tight side; I also found that due to the angle in which the doll's vagina is placed and her plumbing is channeled you would do well to have a good erection when trying this puppy out. This also comes with a wireless micro-stimulator that you can place in any of the orifices you intend to indulge in for some extra vibrations. Using it won't make you feel like you're getting any help from Jesse but it is a pleasant sensation.

Things I'm not crazy about are the non-changeable angles in which the doll is built; her legs are spread but not spread wide, and her knees are bent; missionary position is difficult but doable. Anal entry seems to be extremely difficult; don't expect to be deep probing this babe's ass. She' been built with some serious doggie-style use in mind, but again, come with a rock hard erection or you'll find yourself getting a little flustered. Guys, latex is latex. The texture isn't terrible but you won't mistake the feel of this toy for actual skin.

As odd as it may sound, there are a few other niceties you may find useful with Jesse in your bedroom. Think of this life sized playmate as exercise equipment- you can improve your stamina and technique at home so when the real thing is available, you'll be up to the challenge. I'm someone who always sleeps with a body pillow; but hey- I'd much rather sleep spooning with a chick who isn't going to toss, turn and tell me to get off her in the middle of the night! Also bear in mind the fact that if you wake up in the morning feeling frisky with a chisel in your shorts, well......she's not going to tell you no, fellas.

My verdict? If you're willing to spend the money on this doll, you'll enjoy it. There are some honest improvements incorporated into Jesse Jane's Decadent Love Doll that you won't see in the cut-rate blow up doll. Don't buy it expecting the best piece of ass you've ever had, but it will do the job when you're not in the mood to take the girlfriend out for dinner and a movie just to get lucky.
- Nightmaster

Be sure to read more of our adult toy reviews at AdultToyTalk.com.

Overlooked Titles

Disco Dirge was an early adopter to the Robby D. craze with his look at Teen America 3, saying it: "is marvelous, a truly tantalizing slice of skin and sin. On that most daunting of determining indicators, the Disco Dirge Peter Meter, this amazing movie earns a whopping 8 out of 10 and is very highly HIGHLY recommended. Indeed, thanks to the muddled middle moment, and a lack of viable extras, Jack's latest offering just misses the highly vaunted X Critic Collector's Series. Couples will find plenty to polish up their own home histrionics, therefore a Cohabitation Certification is easily and gladly awarded. As long as Robby D is making adult titles, there will always be some pretty powerful porn for consumer consumption."

Don Houston then pointed out how Feeding Frenzy 6 was "a two disc set of ball draining action the likes of which most of you have never seen. In terms of sheer levels of depravity and amount of fuck for the buck, I doubt you'll find a better value than this one any time soon as director Jules Jordan one ups the competition with more material than most companies put on two releases. If you like blowjob movies, this is your holy grail for 2005. It had the most oral sex fuck for the buck of any release on the market at this time, bar none. While not every scene was the absolute best the porn world has to offer, it was a stunningly solid value with over four hours of blowjob and tease action on two discs. The extras were also very well done and while they weren't the best I've seen from Evil Angel, they were great icing on the cake (and believe me, this cake had a lot of icing!). I almost wonder what Red Light District will try to do in order to top this one since the quantity alone was so great and that was with good quality too. In any case, Jules Jordan is rapidly trying to spearhead (pun intended) the Evil Angel push to regain market share and all consumers are the better for it."

Namrufmot's opinion of Going Deep 2 was that: "Without hesitation, I'd say pick this one up. Every girl is attractive, the sex is hot, the video quality is good, and the extras are adequate. Every red-blooded male will enjoy this release. The picture was presented in a widescreen format. The actual aspect ratios differ from scene to scene though. This is the first chance I've had to watch a Digital Sin release and I'm happy to say that it lives up to their excellent reputation. The video quality is up there with the best I've seen for an adult movie. There were absolutely no compression artifacts during the movie. The color of the film was also excellent, and the flesh tones all looked very realistic. The audio was the standard 2.0 stereo, but much like the video its quality was excellent. There was no background music during the action. Good job Digital Sin."

No was going to skip out on the splooge-fest in No Cum Dodging 4: Director's Cut: "well worth a rating of Highly Recommended to fans of oral action that want to see some heated sex as well. That's where this series shines over the oral-only titles of the past. Rather than just provide a bunch of half hearted blowjobs, the series includes some passionate gonzo sex too; giving fans the best of both worlds. In terms of sheer fuck for the buck, the DVD will keep fans happy and is it any wonder that Mike John was so sought after when he left his former employer? Regardless, check out the DVD to see why so many critics have praised Mike as having the kind of vision needed in porn."

Rob Randell found Teagan Presley "looking great" in Centerfolds 3, "the latest and hottest girls from the respective company's adult magazine star in sex scenes. In this third installment, six hotties spread across five scenes. The action is pretty tame, but is highly energetic and it is exciting to watch these babes in action. I really enjoyed this release. The sex scenes were all quite energetic and each girl was very easy on the eyes. This is definitely one worth checking out."

Katja Kassin was one of the best reasons to appreciate Ass 2 Mouth #2 though we noticed it "was exactly as advertised, having a number of hotties engage in some of the riskiest sex known to mankind for your viewing pleasure. Each gal provided the kind of performance that I expected of them and showed they have what it takes to compete in the high energy Olympics of gonzo porn. I'm going to rate this one as Highly Recommended for the sheer amount of solid fuck for the buck but keep in mind that this type of porn isn't for everyone. It's easy to see why Platinum X Pictures is known as the sleeping giant of gonzo; a title I don't expect to last much longer once word gets out."

Mike Vega sure liked some of the ladies in Ass Crackin' 4, commenting that: "Well, three out of the six scenes on this disc were good. That's not to say that Dillion didn't do a great job directing and framing the action, he did. I just wasn't feeling the girls in the other scenes. They brought the heat and seemed as if they were enjoying what they were doing, I just didn't find them appealing. However, since it's solely a personal preference based on the looks of the actress, I'm going to give this one a Recommended. As I said, Dillion did a great job directing this and I'm sure there's something on here for everyone."

Upcoming Notable DVDs

We'd love to read your comments and feedback on this column, Send us your thoughts on other things you'd like to see in the space, or even random thoughts about the world of porn. Drop us a line at [email protected].

The major contributors to The Blue Room this week were: Don Houston, Nightmaster, and Christopher Thorne.

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