Balls

[Original Desmond]

I love my balls, i love getting them tickled and sucked and rubbed

I think ball stimulation really enhances sex

[Soup Nazi]

It takes balls to post this. Are there no boundaries?

:p

[WhoGirl]

I love my balls, too. They're so big and smooth! I love to play with them all day long. When they get oily, I take a towel and scrub them with a special cleaner. It makes them feel so good.
http://www.bowling-tr.com/imgs/ball-01.jpg

Oh, you're talking about testicles, aren't you? :o

[just_al]

I realize that the average person sees a lot of balls in his or her lifetime, but most of those balls are, to put it kindly, sub-par. My balls, however, are beautiful. They are perfect in every way, from the sheen of my scrotal sac to the flawless shape and symmetry of the testicles to the flaxen softness of my pubic hair.

I go to great lengths to make sure my balls are show-quality balls. First and foremost is hygiene, of course: Nobody wants to see unclean balls. And not just any soap will do, as harsh detergents can cause unsightly scratching and mar the surface of the balls. I recommend a gentle, all-natural cleanser, like Dr. Bronner's Eucalyptus or Ayurvedic Olive Oil soap. The night before displays, I use a separate leave-on conditioner, but for everyday use, a good lotion like Neutrogena is all I really need.

Getting my balls clean and soft, however, is only half of it. I used to apply makeup to them, but the effect was far too artificial--the whole idea behind showing your balls in the first place is to showcase their natural beauty, with the emphasis on natural. So I use all-organic carnauba wax to give them a rich, deep luster. Three coats, buff with a hand-held electric orbital polisher, three more, polish again, and top it off with one final hand-rubbing. When you get down to it, there's just no substitute for bearing down on your balls with some good old-fashioned elbow grease. I do it while watching the evening news.

Yes, proper ball care can be a lot of work, but the enjoyment you get from having championship-quality balls is well worth the effort. You'll know what I'm talking about once you get a look at my balls. The sheen, the smoothness--do yourself a favor and get good and close when you're looking at them. You'll actually be able to see your reflection in them, like a kid looking into a fuzzy, fleshy, pink Christmas ornament. Get as close as possible, I don't mind. I do this for your enjoyment.

Now, I'm not one of those people who takes the time to fix something up all nice and then doesn't use it. I can't stand that. I mean, the Spirit of St. Louis hangs for all to see in the National Air & Space Museum, but you never see anyone flying it, do you? Well, like Lindbergh's plane, my balls hang for all to see--but I make sure they're not all show and no go. Anyone who wants to can touch my balls, provided, of course, they handle them gently and are wearing lint-free microfiber gloves. And please, no pulling: This could strain the scrotal sac and cause it to bag out, making it less attractive in appearance.

I promise you this: That magic moment when you first take in the glory of my balls will be one you'll remember for the rest of your life. You will most certainly see my magnificent balls many, many more times in the coming years, but it will never again be quite like the first time. I hope it's as special for you as it has been for thousands of other lucky folks. Enjoy.

[Jackskeleton]

Originally posted by Original Desmond
I love my balls, i love getting them tickled and sucked and rubbed

I think ball stimulation really enhances sex


Originally posted by just_al
I realize that the average person sees a lot of balls in his or her lifetime, ........Enjoy.


<center>http://www.theforumisdown.com/uploadfiles/061602/toomuchinfoyo.jpg</center>

[Applejack]

I'm [ever | rather] upper class high society
God's gift to ballroom notoriety
I always fill my ballroom
The event is never small
The social pages say I've got
The biggest balls of all

I've got big balls
I've got big balls
And they're such big balls
Dirty big balls
And he's got big balls
And she's got big balls
But we've got the biggest balls of them all

And my balls are always bouncing
My ballroom always full
And everybody cums and cums again
If your name is on the guest list
No one can take you higher
Everybody says I've got
Great balls of fire

I've got big balls
I've got big balls
And they're such big balls
Dirty big balls
And he's got big balls
And she's got big balls
But we've got the biggest balls of them all

Some balls are held for charity
And some for fancy dress
But when they're held for pleasure
They're the balls that I like best
My balls are always bouncing
To the left and to the right
It's my belief that my big balls
Should be held every night

[kenny79]

I think this is the beginning of the Testicle Monologues.

[Lethal Nemesis]

Wow.. just_al sure loves talking about his nuts.

[Lethal Nemesis]

Originally posted by just_al
to the flawless shape and symmetry of the testicles
Really? My left nut is bigger.

[schlitz100]

lethal, you better get that checked out... that's why tom green went to see his dr.

[The Bus]

one is supposed to droop lower

[the aftermath]

Originally posted by Jackskeleton


<center>http://www.theforumisdown.com/uploadfiles/061602/toomuchinfoyo.jpg</center>

:lol:

Agreed

[screamingacorn]

LMAO just_al!!!! classic

Yea one ball is bigger and lower so you can walk and cross your legs and the like.

[JimRochester]

I like them best when they're touching a womans chin.

[Lethal Nemesis]

Originally posted by schlitz100
lethal, you better get that checked out... that's why tom green went to see his dr.
I thought one can be bigger than the other? Just because they're not perfectly symmetrical doesn't necessarily mean something's wrong, right? Besides, my nuts are smooth.. no lumps or hard spots or anything.

Remember guys: feel your balls so that you don't get cancer. How does that Tom Green song go again? :)

[debbert]

Originally posted by LethaL Nemesis

Really? My left nut is bigger.

That's the case in the majority of men

[ziggy]

I too love my balls, when I was a kid, I used toplay with my scrotum fo hours on end - now, I just don't have the time :)

[nchhabra]

Originally posted by LethaL Nemesis

I thought one can be bigger than the other? Just because they're not perfectly symmetrical doesn't necessarily mean something's wrong, right? Besides, my nuts are smooth.. no lumps or hard spots or anything.

Remember guys: feel your balls so that you don't get cancer. How does that Tom Green song go again? :)

its ok for one to be bigger. doesnt mean anything is wrong.

[Lethal Nemesis]

Originally posted by debbert


That's the case in the majority of men
Maybe someone should make a poll for men about which nut is bigger. :D

[Mr Maxwell House]

Originally posted by LethaL Nemesis

Remember guys: feel your balls so that you don't get cancer. How does that Tom Green song go again? :)

Hey Kids! (The Cancer Song)


Hey kids, feel your balls so you don't get cancer
Hey kids, feel your balls so you don't get cancer
Feel your balls, Squeeze your balls,
Tease your balls, Please your balls

Early detection is the key,
Rub your balls and you won't get cancer
Hey kids, feel your balls so you don't get cancer
Hey kids, feel your balls you don't want cancer

Rub your balls, Squeeze your balls so you don't get cancer

Masterbate every day!

Hey kids, feel your balls so you don't get cancer
Hey kids, rub your balls so you don't get cancer

Rub your balls while masterbating!

Hey kids, rub your balls while masterbating looking for lumps
If you find a lump then go to the doctor and get your testicle removed

Rub your testicles while masterbating or while not masterbating

Rub your balls for no reason other than for checking for cancer
Or rub your balls specifically for the only reason of checking for cancer
Or rub your balls only for pleasure
Or for pleasure and for checking it for cancer at the same time

You can pleasure you balls and also check for cancer at the same
You can pleasure yourself and also check for cancer at the same

Two birds, one stone!

Pleasure your balls and check them for cancer at the same time

[Lethal Nemesis]

This has been a Public Service Announcement brought to you by Mr. Maxwell House.

[QuanTum]

Originally posted by JimRochester
I like them best when they're touching a womans chin.


Amen brother!

[criptik28]

Yes, it's perfectly normal for one testicle to be lower than the other. :)

[Nick Danger]

Originally posted by just_al


I go to great lengths to make sure my balls are show-quality balls.

Now I feel so ... inadequate.

[mikehunt]

nothing better than a female doctor advising you to play with your balls after showering when the sack skin is looser
well she actually said feel not play, and it's to check for lumps

[big whoppa]

I don't know why but the topic of balls is always funny. Like the Alec Baldwin sketch on SNL and his "Schwetty Balls." :lol: