Ways of relieving Sexual Frustration [Archive]

Dr. DVD

10-23-2002, 02:42 PM

Aside from masturbation please. Several attractive girls work at the tanning bed area of our bookstore and having them around for the couple of hours before I leave really puts my hormones into overdrive. I do not feel the need to harass them or anything, but get a repressed sexual urge.
I am aware that masturbation is prescribed but I try to refrain from such an act, and right now I am making good progress. IMO, masturbation is not a healthy practice and should only be done once a week at the most, with the ideal time being once every two weeks.

El Scorcho

10-23-2002, 02:44 PM

[speechless]

:lol:

Groucho

10-23-2002, 02:44 PM

Post on DVDTalk about how "phat" your new ride is, and how much cooler you are than the 30-year old guy who rides the bus to work.

LurkerWilson

10-23-2002, 02:44 PM

I usually use (this may shock you) sex.

LurkerWilson

10-23-2002, 02:45 PM

Originally posted by Dr. DVD
Aside from masturbation please. Several attractive girls work at the tanning bed area of our bookstore and having them around for the couple of hours before I leave really puts my hormones into overdrive. I do not feel the need to harass them or anything, but get a repressed sexual urge.
I am aware that masturbation is prescribed but I try to refrain from such an act, and right now I am making good progress. IMO, masturbation is not a healthy practice and should only be done once a week at the most, with the ideal time being once every two weeks.

damn, I used to masturbate 2, 3 times a day when I was single... didn't hurt me (other than the fact that my penis lists right)

grunter

10-23-2002, 02:46 PM

Just whack it, you poor miguided child.

Saving it for that one time a week will kill you faster than having a wank every morning.

Sheesh - the angst some of these people must have in their relationships to their genitals.

;)

Bandoman

10-23-2002, 02:47 PM

Originally posted by Dr. DVD
IMO, masturbation is not a healthy practice and should only be done once a week at the most, with the ideal time being once every two weeks.

This statement is so extraordinarily illogical that, were I an android, it would fry my circuits and cause me to shut down. Think Spock confusing Norman in "I, Mudd".

suziq999

10-23-2002, 02:48 PM

rotfl
How else to 'relieve' the tension other than spanking it?
Racquetball maybe?
Or perhaps a couple bags of ice!
Wait, skinny dipping in a cold river!
:thumbsup:

eXcentris

10-23-2002, 02:50 PM

Just install hidden cams in the tanning bed area and report back in a couple of days. :)

Save Ferris

10-23-2002, 03:20 PM

Originally posted by Bandoman
Think Spock confusing Norman in "I, Mudd".

Or think about "Mudd's Women"

Sockmonkey

10-23-2002, 03:29 PM

Originally posted by Dr. DVD
IMO, masturbation is not a healthy practice and should only be done once a week at the most, with the ideal time being once every two weeks.

You've got much more serious problems than taking care of some "repressed sexual urge" (whatever that is).

See a doc.

:(

bigsoos

10-23-2002, 03:31 PM

work out? whatever makes you tired.

JimRochester

10-23-2002, 05:04 PM

hookers

costanza187

10-23-2002, 05:25 PM

I've heard if you think about baseball...

joshd2012

10-23-2002, 05:39 PM

"If you don't masturbate atleast 3 times a day, you are cheating yourself."

nevermind

10-23-2002, 05:41 PM

Originally posted by joshd2012
"If you don't masturbate atleast 3 times a day, you are cheating yourself."

rotfl

T-shirt material :)

MJKTool

10-23-2002, 06:06 PM

...seek help...

....like right now...

joltaddict

10-23-2002, 06:53 PM

Originally posted by Dr. DVD
masturbation is not a healthy practice and should only be done once a week at the most, with the ideal time being once every two weeks.

Do you make dates with yourself? Or is this like a special occasion sort of thing? Or is it regularly scheduled?

sexy_overlord

10-23-2002, 10:18 PM

Men are supposed to jerk off whenever possible. Think about it. How many things do you do during the day that actually require two hands? Why else would we have that second hand?

KnightLerxst

10-23-2002, 10:40 PM

A sheep and a tall corn field...

KnightLerxst

10-23-2002, 10:42 PM

Here is an idea, try to hook up with one of the girls tanning?

MJKTool

10-23-2002, 10:50 PM

Originally posted by joltaddict
Do you make dates with yourself? Or is this like a special occasion sort of thing? Or is it regularly scheduled?

rotfl :lol: rotfl

Holy Jackson

10-23-2002, 11:09 PM

Originally posted by sexy_overload
Men are supposed to jerk off whenever possible. Think about it. How many things do you do during the day that actually require two hands? Why else would we have that second hand?

Amen... one hand jerks the dick. One hand picks the nose. I think my all time record without spanking was 4 days... Dr. DVD must have no sex drive. I'm envious.

Holy Jackson

10-23-2002, 11:11 PM

ways to relieve sexual frustration:

1. Get big tight rubber band.
2. rap it around your nuts.
3. wait for your sexaul frustration to turn black
4. remove sexual frustration with a firm flick of the forefinger.

cured!

Betho

10-23-2002, 11:29 PM

Originally posted by Holy Jackson
ways to relieve sexual frustration:

1. Get big tight rubber band.
2. rap it around your nuts.
3. wait for your sexaul frustration to turn black
4. remove sexual frustration with a firm flick of the forefinger.

cured!

:lol:

yuck.

Going without masturbation on purpose???? Whats the point of that? It's gotta be climax on a daily basis, whether or not it's sex or masturbation. I can't imagine trying to hold off on PURPOSE.

isamu

10-24-2002, 12:14 AM

Go to a porn site with photoshop fakes and do a search for Janet Reno

Huge Bean

10-24-2002, 12:34 AM

Originally posted by isamu
Go to a porn site with photoshop fakes and do a search for Janet Reno
He wants to relieve his sexual frustrations, not become impotent

criptik28

10-24-2002, 02:44 AM

You have tanning beds in your bookstore???

Buford T Pusser

10-24-2002, 08:04 AM

[Obligatory bunk bed reference]Ever find doing it in a certain place can be a turn on? I like to be close to the ceiling so I can do some "spackling".[/Obligatory bunk bed reference]

Dr. DVD

10-24-2002, 11:46 AM

Well, I honestly have better self esteem knowing that there are people out there who can't make it as long as myself in restraining from self-gratification.

I will let you know, however, that there were many guys in the campus ministry organization I used to belong to who were able to go months without releasing the fishies.

Or maybe they were lying.

suziq999

10-24-2002, 12:18 PM

Originally posted by Dr. DVD
Well, I honestly have better self esteem knowing that there are people out there who can't make it as long as myself in restraining from self-gratification.

Jeez, maybe some people base their self worth on kindness, giving, intelligence, devotion, and about a million other traits more important than masterbation frequency. :rolleyes:

Honestly, nobody is ever going to say 'jeez you're such a great person for not whacking off every day'.

roadbikeguy13

10-24-2002, 12:37 PM

Originally posted by suziq999

Honestly, nobody is ever going to say 'jeez you're such a great person for not whacking off every day'.

my mom still says that to me whever i see her ;)

Buford T Pusser

10-24-2002, 12:44 PM

Originally posted by namrufmot
my mom still says that to me whever i see her ;)

But that's because you always did it in front of her! :p

roadbikeguy13

10-24-2002, 01:22 PM

Originally posted by Buford T Pusser
But that's because you always did it in front of her! :p

only cause she asked!!

Saxofonix

10-24-2002, 01:23 PM

Originally posted by Dr. DVD
IMO, masturbation is not a healthy practice and should only be done once a week at the most, with the ideal time being once every two weeks.

yup, you gotta be careful or you will use it all up.

icondude

10-24-2002, 01:30 PM

Originally posted by joltaddict
Do you make dates with yourself? Or is this like a special occasion sort of thing? Or is it regularly scheduled?

Yes, No, Yes.

NotEd

10-24-2002, 02:14 PM

Originally posted by Dr. DVD
IMO, masturbation is not a healthy practice and should only be done once a week at the most, with the ideal time being once every two weeks.

How many times at a sitting. I mean once every one or two weeks is a whole different thing if you pop 2 dozen times during the "sitting".

Still after 4 or 5 I tend to need a break or else I start to chafe. :eyebrow:

Buford T Pusser

10-24-2002, 03:43 PM

Originally posted by namrufmot
only cause she asked!!

Your mother knows best and you have the results to prove it!

:eek:

grunter

10-24-2002, 05:23 PM

Originally posted by Dr. DVD
I will let you know, however, that there were many guys in the campus ministry organization I used to belong to who were able to go months without releasing the fishies.

Or maybe they were lying.

Dude, if they were Pinocchio, their noses would be like 3 miles long.

My sources tell me (and those sources are ex-seminarians who are surprisingly pretty common in the bear movement) that attending seminary was one of the most active sexual periods in their entire lives.

Mr Maxwell House

10-24-2002, 05:46 PM

http://snltranscripts.jt.org/94/pics/94apenis.jpg

Hi, I'm Steve Martin. With so many celebrities endorsing cosmetics these days, I wanted to make sure the cosmetic I endorsed was very special. That's why I'm proud to put my name on.. Steve Martin's All-Natural Penis Beauty Cream.. New Formula. Try my new beauty cream, and in a matter of weeks your penis will be looking smoother and softer, the way women like it. And because of the new formula no more scaling. Here's how it works:

Just take a small amount and rub gently on the penis for several minutes up to a half-hour. You'll notice a difference right away. And, don't worry, a slight discoloration is normal.

full text (http://snltranscripts.jt.org/94/94apeniscream.phtml)

:) :)

Quake1028

10-24-2002, 05:52 PM

Originally posted by Betho
:lol:

yuck.

Going without masturbation on purpose???? Whats the point of that? I gotta be climax thinking about Quake a daily basis, whether or not it's sex or masturbation. I can't imagine trying to hold off on PURPOSE.

You whore :eyebrow:!

Bushdog

10-24-2002, 05:55 PM

Originally posted by Dr. DVD
Well, I honestly have better self esteem knowing that there are people out there who can't make it as long as myself in restraining from self-gratification.
You feel better that you're mentally ill?:confused: Or that you appear to have serious, unpleasant hangups?

Why should someone refrain from self-gratification. When my gf isn't around that's the only kind I can have. Is there something morally superior about suffering?

Is this a rule you learned on Endor or from the Rock?

kenny79

10-24-2002, 06:05 PM

Originally posted by Bushdog
Is this a rule you learned on Endor or from the Rock?
Winners go home and masturbate while thinking about the prom queen.

CheapBastid

10-24-2002, 06:18 PM

Originally posted by Dr. DVD
IMO, masturbation is not a healthy practice and should only be done once a week at the most, with the ideal time being once every two weeks. Yes it is in IYO. Fact is that regular ejaculation fosters good prostate health, so your Opinion is fostering an un-healthy practice.

<font size=1>I've got the healthiest prostate in town</font>

Thoseidiots

10-24-2002, 06:20 PM

At first I was like, "why the hell would this guy see anything wrong with masturbation?"

And then he said he was in campus ministry.

mikehunt

10-24-2002, 08:15 PM

so is it unhealthy to have sex more than once per week?
because, physically speaking at least, there isn't any difference worth mentioning

joltaddict

10-24-2002, 08:22 PM

Originally posted by Bushdog
Is this a rule you learned on Endor or from the Rock?

Jedi dont masterbate.

Blaster1

10-24-2002, 09:12 PM

I've held off for 3 weeks once and 6 weeks once and I used to regularly hold off for once a week. Girls seemed to treat me better and I felt better about myself when I didn't do it every day.

D.Pham00

10-24-2002, 09:34 PM

to every problem lies solution in hand

Buford T Pusser

10-24-2002, 10:28 PM

Originally posted by Def's.Phlamingo
to every problem lies solution in hand

Did Confucius say that?

mikehunt

10-24-2002, 10:33 PM

maybe not with their hands

Originally posted by joltaddict
Jedi dont masterbate.

Buford T Pusser

10-24-2002, 10:40 PM

What do Jedi call it? Their "little light sabre"?

krkuhl

10-24-2002, 11:13 PM

okay, serious answer here and no picking on you. things to do when your hormones are high and you arent willing to release them:
1) eat chocolate, lots of it
2) laugh
both of those release serotonin, the same chemical that gets released during an orgasm
3) do something physically exhausting--me i hit the hell out of a volleyball, knock the crap out of someone in soccer, or have a great martial arts class
4) if you are religious, pray about your urges. ask God for help in controlling them and diminishing them.
5) read the bible. hard to feel "perky" when doing that.
6) engage in some mind numbing activity where you dont think about anything, much less sex.

good luck.

Saxofonix

10-24-2002, 11:23 PM

Originally posted by Blaster1
I've held off for 3 weeks once and 6 weeks once and I used to regularly hold off for once a week. Girls seemed to treat me better and I felt better about myself when I didn't do it every day.

How would these girls know ?? Did you go around telling all and sundry about your abstinence from self-gratification ??

I doubt women would just "sense" that some guy didn't masturbate ... and why it would make them more inclined to be nicer to you then is even more of a mystery.

Anyway, I simply don't understand the concept of holding off if you feel horny (and you don't have an interested partner).

Blaster1

10-24-2002, 11:56 PM

No, I didn't mention it to them. They just seemed to treat me better after I didn't do it for awhile. Maybe girls can tell when guys are in heat and are unconciously attracted to the scents given off or something. I don't know.

Betho

10-25-2002, 12:02 AM

Originally posted by Quake1028
You whore :eyebrow:!

Nah, I only have chowdah-induced orgasms ... sorry :D

Buford T Pusser

10-25-2002, 06:54 AM

Originally posted by Betho
Nah, I only have chowdah-induced orgasms ... sorry :D

Chowdah-induced? :confused:

D.Pham00

10-25-2002, 08:47 AM

Originally posted by Buford T Pusser
Did Confucius say that?

hmmm...sure...

mikehunt

10-25-2002, 02:34 PM

:eek:
like movie #7 in the AdultDVDEmpire Top 10 list at the top?
-eek-

:)

Originally posted by Betho
Nah, I only have chowdah-induced orgasms ... sorry :D

immortal_zeus

10-26-2002, 06:20 AM

Originally posted by kenny79
Winners go home and masturbate while thinking about the prom queen.

:lol: I believe Bushy was making a reference to Star Wars and professional wrestling....two of Dr. DVD's favorite subjects.

He wasn't talking about the movie "The Rock". :lol:

http://www.ameritech.net/users/dvdtalk/rome.gif

immortal_zeus

10-26-2002, 06:23 AM

Originally posted by Betho
Nah, I only have chowdah-induced orgasms ... sorry :D

I hope that's a reference to your location and not to Soup Nazi. :D

http://www.ameritech.net/users/dvdtalk/rome.gif

immortal_zeus

10-26-2002, 07:34 AM

Originally posted by immortal_zeus
I hope that's a reference to your location and not to Soup Nazi. :D

http://www.ameritech.net/users/dvdtalk/rome.gif

Holy crap. Okay, I was just trying to be funny and I was totally oblivious.

But I read your thread in the Feedback Forum on why your "I'm Back" thread was closed....and then I read the "I'm Back" thread (I hadn't read it previously because I already knew you were back because of your thread on the Island)....and well, I guess I know the answer to my own question now. :lol:

Sometimes I'm just too smart for my own good. :D:p

http://www.ameritech.net/users/dvdtalk/rome.gif

joltaddict

10-26-2002, 10:39 AM

Originally posted by immortal_zeus
I'm just too smart for my own good.

I_Z? Is that you? Did somebody hijack your account?

Mr Maxwell House

10-26-2002, 10:50 AM

Originally posted by immortal_zeus
Holy crap. Okay, I was just trying to be funny and I was totally oblivious.

But I read your thread in the Feedback Forum on why your "I'm Back" thread was closed....and then I read the "I'm Back" thread (I hadn't read it previously because I already knew you were back because of your thread on the Island)....and well, I guess I know the answer to my own question now. :lol:

Sometimes I'm just too smart for my own good. :D:p

http://www.ameritech.net/users/dvdtalk/rome.gif

No soup for you!!

immortal_zeus

10-26-2002, 11:18 AM

Originally posted by joltaddict
I_Z? Is that you? Did somebody hijack your account?

:lol: -ptth-

http://www.ameritech.net/users/dvdtalk/rome.gif

immortal_zeus

10-26-2002, 11:19 AM

Originally posted by Mr Maxwell House
No soup for you!!

Thank God! :p

http://www.ameritech.net/users/dvdtalk/rome.gif

Betho

10-26-2002, 02:56 PM

:lol:

damn_skippy

10-26-2002, 10:49 PM

Bushdog

10-28-2002, 10:46 PM

Originally posted by immortal_zeus
:lol: I believe Bushy was making a reference to Star Wars and professional wrestling....two of Dr. DVD's favorite subjects.

He wasn't talking about the movie "The Rock". :lol:

http://www.ameritech.net/users/dvdtalk/rome.gif Bingo. . .

woofman

10-29-2002, 08:54 AM

Sounds like someone has a serious guilt complex in regards to self gratification. If religion is a major contributor to this unclean feeling, look at it this way; If God created the male body and all it's inner workings, wouldn't it be wrong to deny it what it is rightfully made for? Your body (along with most male species) is a specifically designed breeding machine. While procreation is obviously not always the most appropriate outcome of said actions, masturbation is a natural way of relieving those natural urges- sans vagina.

Dr. DVD

10-29-2002, 10:01 AM

A slightly unrelated question: does the intensity of the sexual feeling change with prolonged time periods between orgasms, or is it just the lack of doing it that makes it feel new again?

Just curious.

Saxofonix

10-29-2002, 02:34 PM

Dr. DVD .. as someone who goes WEEKS without orgasm, you are actually in the unique position to inform us.

Iron Chef

10-29-2002, 02:59 PM

Originally posted by Saxofonix
Dr. DVD .. as someone who goes WEEKS without orgasm, you are actually in the unique position to inform us.

:lol::up:

Sockmonkey

10-31-2002, 11:29 AM

Originally posted by Thoseidiots
At first I was like, "why the hell would this guy see anything wrong with masturbation?"

And then he said he was in campus ministry.

"Excuse me, can I ask you a question?" :rolleyes:

alarican

10-31-2002, 03:56 PM

Originally posted by grunter
Just whack it, you poor miguided child.

Saving it for that one time a week will kill you faster than having a wank every morning.

Sheesh - the angst some of these people must have in their relationships to their genitals.

;)

I agree...use it or lose it!!!!!

Dr. DVD

02-26-2003, 06:48 PM

Okay, I wish I had never made this thread. While it was meant to stay in the Mature forum, it some how has managed to be mentioned or alluded to in every single Other forum thread I ever try to start. I want people to take me seriously on occasion.

the aftermath

02-26-2003, 11:26 PM

Originally posted by Dr. DVD
I want people to take me seriously on occasion.
rotfl

RandyC

02-27-2003, 12:43 AM

[moving to archive]

j/k

costanza187

02-27-2003, 04:29 AM

I've heard exercise does the trick.

kenny79

02-27-2003, 01:33 PM

Originally posted by RandyC
[moving to archive]

j/k
Don't tease us like that, man ...

Bushdog

02-27-2003, 01:49 PM

You can't control yourself when teased and so that makes it happen more than once every two weeks?

The_Cube

02-27-2003, 02:34 PM

I never do the "number 3" anymore. Everytime I am tempted I just mentally picture having sex with someone over 500 pounds and imagine getting squashed.

bigsoos

02-27-2003, 02:52 PM

take pics of the girls from the tanning salon and post them here in the Mature forum.

edytwinky

02-28-2003, 09:17 AM

:lol:

Zedsed

03-02-2003, 09:37 PM

Going through boot camp, I had no sexual urges. The most obvious reason is tons of exercise, leaving nothing in the tank. Of course the rumor was, that they put saltpeter in the food to keep ours' and the females' hormones in check. Either of those solutions would work.

I guess my question would be, "Why is it okay with your religion to do it every 2 weeks but not everyday?" Every day is not excess, IMHO.

CaptainMarvel

03-02-2003, 09:45 PM

Originally posted by Zedsed
Going through boot camp, I had no sexual urges. The most obvious reason is tons of exercise, leaving nothing in the tank. Of course the rumor was, that they put saltpeter in the food to keep ours' and the females' hormones in check. Either of those solutions would work.

I'm guessing it's the exercise and stress.

http://www.snopes.com/military/saltpetr.htm

Zedsed

03-02-2003, 09:57 PM

Originally posted by CaptainMarvel
I'm guessing it's the exercise and stress.

http://www.snopes.com/military/saltpetr.htm

Yeah. Military can be a hotbed of rumors.

There you go Dr DVD - exercise seems to be the consensus. At least you'll be in good shape...