Who"s the oldest virgin here?

[dvd-4-life]

Come on don"t be shy.I am 48 yrs-5 months and 19 days a virgin.

[Deane Johnson]

You win!

[dvd-4-life]

What do I win --a lifetime subscription to Playboy?

[damn_skippy]

Originally posted by dvd-4-life
Come on don"t be shy.I am 48 yrs-5 months and 19 days a virgin.


WTF are you serious?


I bet you have a chronic masterbation problem.;)

[JoeyOhhhh]

Are you in a cult or something?

[kenny79]

Originally posted by JoeyOhhhh
Are you in a cult or something?
If not, he could probably start his own.

[Seeker]

he loves the dvds.

[Seeker]

I'm 45, but i lost my virginity before a lot of the folks here were born.

[The Cow]

1,2,3.. Definately not it..

[clemente]

Originally posted by dvd-4-life
Come on don"t be shy.I am 48 yrs-5 months and 19 days a virgin.

Holy crap!

You should be porndvd-4-life.

Suddenly, my situation...not so bad!

[asabase]

You need to write Maxim or something. That has to make letter of the month (and like $200).

[seven]

Well, now I don't feel so bad being 27...

(OK I really do :()

7

[damn_skippy]

Have you guys or girls had the opportunity? If you have why have you held out?

[edytwinky]

Wow, 48 years old........are you waiting til marriage?

[ChefWinduAZ]

Originally posted by seven
Well, now I don't feel so bad being 27...

(OK I really do :()

7

Don't feel bad, I'm 27 and still a virgin too, and I felt a whole lot better when I saw that I was not the oldest virgin by a large margin. :) I always thought that after 40 you start looking into hookers or something. ;)

[evenflow]

Originally posted by dvd-4-life
Come on don"t be shy.I am 48 yrs-5 months and 19 days a virgin.

:lol:

[Fok]

Originally posted by dvd-4-life
Come on don"t be shy.I am 48 yrs-5 months and 19 days a virgin.

Don't know how you could hold out for that long. You're pretty disciplined, I'll give you that.

[Shimmer35]

I hope he/she is talking about their anus. 48 years, geez, what is this world coming to!

[kar10]

48 yrs!?!?!

Last time I was a virgin I was 9 yrs. old or younger

[Bust]

Originally posted by WWE Jedi
I always thought that after 40 you start looking into hookers or something. ;)

23. ;)

[Spooky]

I imagine there are plenty of priests and nuns who would have the above poster beat in number of years...but then again, priests and nuns wouldn't be hanging out in this forum, would they?

I think there's a big difference between being a 48 year old virgin by choice and just being one because you can't get laid...got to have a certain amount of respect for the former, and a whole bunch of pity for the latter!

[IC_Freeze]

let's start a fund to get this guy laid :) if everybody piches in like .25 cents, I'm sure we can find some action in his city area lol

[JoeyOhhhh]

Originally posted by IC_Freeze
let's start a fund to get this guy laid :) if everybody piches in like .25 cents, I'm sure we can find some action in his city area lol "For less than a dollar a day, you can help this man get laid. Please call now."

[diacritic]

Originally posted by dvd-4-life
Come on don"t be shy.I am 48 yrs-5 months and 19 days a virgin.

Whoa, Dude! That's nasty! I lost mine when I was 18, before I was married -- and that was in a friggin' islamic coutnry where pus5y before marriage is quite sparse...

[asabase]

What is your location? Call up Howard Stern. I bet he'd hook you up with a pr0n star. He's done stuff like that in the past.

[joltaddict]

Originally posted by WWE Jedi
Don't feel bad, I'm 27 and still a virgin too

With the username WWE Jedi? Color me shocked!

[Mopower]

Originally posted by asabase
What is your location? Call up Howard Stern. I bet he'd hook you up with a pr0n star. He's done stuff like that in the past.
And I'm sure he can get a good doctor for ya to clear up that nasty rash that mysteriously appears days after the encounter. ;)

[ChefWinduAZ]

Originally posted by joltaddict
With the username WWE Jedi? Color me shocked!

Ooooh, that would really hurt if I gave a **** what you thought! I didn't ask for your criticism.

[joltaddict]

Hey somebody was gonna say it. It was a pretty obvious joke. :lol:
At least you have Everquest to while away the lonely hours.

[RandyC]

WWE Jedi


It was a joke. Please read the Civility in Other thread. There will be a quiz later. :)

Joltdude... please remember to use a smiley.

Here are some extras.... :) :) :)

[RandyC]

P.S. The answer is me. I have been living a lie and must admit I have yet to experience the joy that is not related to produce.

[MJKTool]

Originally posted by kar10
48 yrs!?!?!

Last time I was a virgin I was 9 yrs. old or younger

That aint much better in my humble opinion....

[asabase]

Originally posted by Mopower
And I'm sure he can get a good doctor for ya to clear up that nasty rash that mysteriously appears days after the encounter. ;)

If I was 48 and a virgin it would still be worth it. :)

[logrus9]

48 -eek-

set up a Paypal account, I'll chip in.

[evenflow]

Originally posted by joltaddict
With the username WWE Jedi? Color me shocked!

$10 says it's the Jedi part.

[D.Pham00]

Originally posted by RandyC
P.S. The answer is me. I have been living a lie and must admit I have yet to experience the joy that is not related to produce.

which one is your favorite?

http://i.cnn.net/si/features/2002/swimsuit/images/gallery/ehrinn/lg/5.jpg

[tha_dvd_man]

^ Those are some nice melons.

[diacritic]

Here's a song for all you virgins out there:

"38 Years Old"
Twelve men broke loose in '73
From millhaven maximum security
Twelve pictures lined up across the front page
seems the mounties had a summertime war to wage
The chief told the people they had nothing to fear
The last thing they'd wanna do is hang around here
They mostly came from towns with long French names
But one of the dozen was a hometown shame

Same pattern on the table, same clock on the wall
Been one seat empty 18 years in all
Freezing slow time away from the world
He's 38 years old, never kissed a girl
He's 38 years old, never kissed a girl

We were sitting round table, heard the telephone ring
Father said he'd tell me if he saw anything
Heard the tap on the window in the middle of the night
Held back the curtains for my older brother Mike

See my sister got raped, so a man got killed
Local boy went to prison, man's buried on the hill
Folks went back to normal when they closed the case
They still stare at their shoes when they pass our place

My mother cried "The horror has finally ceased"
He whispered "yeah, for the time being, at least"
Over his shoulder, on the squad car megaphone
Said "Let's go Michael, son, we're taking you home"

Same pattern on the table, same clock on the wall
Been one seat empty 18 years in all
Freezing slow time away from the world
He's 38 years old, never kissed a girl
He's 38 years old, never kissed a girl

[siberianhusky]

Originally posted by WWE Jedi
Don't feel bad, I'm 27 and still a virgin too, and I felt a whole lot better when I saw that I was not the oldest virgin by a large margin. :) I always thought that after 40 you start looking into hookers or something. ;) I'm in shock over this, It cant' be that hard to lose it unless you guys don't want to. I know I'm in college but its pretty easy to get laid. I'm real picky, I won't go into how picky I am but it's bad. You have to be hot, certain weight blue\green eyes the list is endless ect ect. I never have a problem finding what I want, I live with my girlfriend now but before her it was only a 2 weeks max in between. There are some ulgy pitiful losers getin some all the time please just tell tell me your standards are just too high, and they better be super model high. I just don't get it. Oh and I thought the hooker came if you didn't lose it by 18. :D

[diacritic]

It typed this in -- www.howtogetlaid.com -- but it only has links to porn sites.

[jw2299]

Notice how the original poster hasn't come back into the thread?

dvd-4-life, you can get laid (or at least could have). Do you have some social anxiety or chronic shyness or something? If you don't care that you're a virgin, do nothing. But if it's because you can't relate to people or have low self-esteem or something, you should see a therapist.

[dvd-4-life]

I just wanted to see if there was some one older than me that is a virgin.The reason I haven't been around-I met someone online.

[Keyser Soze]

Originally posted by dvd-4-life
I just wanted to see if there was some one older than me that is a virgin.The reason I haven't been around-I met someone online.

<B><I><U>Shagg</I></U></b>-a-delic!

:thumbsup:

-k
###

[asabase]

Just be sure to watch this before things move too far along:

http://www.funfreepages.com/videos/vid/the_parlor.wmv

(86MB)

[zero]

<--- number of times Ive had sex.


Funny thing is it shocks some people, they act like "Zero...why!?!?" to be honest I dont know either, but I think it may have something to do with my looks...on second thought I guess it does :p

[seven]

Originally posted by siberianhusky
I'm in shock over this, It cant' be that hard to lose it unless you guys don't want to. I'm I know I'm in college but its pretty easy to get laid. I'm real picky, I won't go into how picky I am but it's bad. You have to be hot, certain weight blue\green eyes the list is endless ect ect. I never have a problem finding what I want, I live with my girlfriend now but before her it was only a 2 weeks max in between. There are some ulgy pitiful losers getin some all the time please just tell tell me your standards are just too high, and they better be super model high. I just don't get. Oh and I thought the hooker came if you didn't lose it by 18. :D

Well, I think I do have social anxiety as someone else mentioned. I've just started taking Paxil CR about a month ago.

I guess my standards are kind of high too. Especially the one where I want someone that actually wants me. As a result of that, I'm pretty much extremely passive (which obviously doesn't work.)

I'm sure I've probably had a few opportunities where I was just too dense to realize it at the time. And, I know at least once I turned down a friend/co-worker that I went out with when she started talking to me about being "****-buddies" because she was drunk and I didn't want to take advantage of her. (Stupid me thought she would appreciate that, but it turns out she didn't even remember it so I should've done it and gotten it over with I guess.)

7

[jrobinson]

wow. the heat in this thread. i don't even want to participate.

[Charlie Goose]

Originally posted by siberianhusky
certain weight blue\green eyes

Dude, you weigh their eyes? Gross!

Originally posted by dvd-4-life
Come on don"t be shy.I am 48 yrs-5 months and 19 days a virgin.http://charliegoose.homestead.com/files/wow.gif

http://charliegoose.homestead.com/files/goose.jpg Honk!

[Stoney]

21 here

[Bushdog]

Originally posted by Keyser Soze
<B><I><U>Shagg</I></U></b>-a-delic!

:thumbsup:

-k
### Agreed, completely.

[Max Fischer]

Although I'm 19 and lost it last July w/ my girlfriend of 2 years...I think there is nothing wrong with still being a virgin until you are married. I mean, I was trying to do that, but damn my girlfriend was just too damn hot for me to resist. :D

[zero]

Originally posted by Max Fischer
Although I'm 19 and lost it last July w/ my girlfriend of 2 years...I think there is nothing wrong with still being a virgin until you are married. I mean, I was trying to do that, but damn my girlfriend was just too damn hot for me to resist. :D


rotfl

Yeah Im sure you were kicking and screaming the entire time :lol:

[Max Fischer]

Originally posted by zero
rotfl

Yeah Im sure you were kicking and screaming the entire time :lol:

Oh, too obvious...

I wasn't the one doing the screaming :)

[Bushdog]

Originally posted by Max Fischer

I wasn't the one doing the screaming I guess that means you hit the wrong hole the first time?;)

[zero]

Originally posted by Bushdog
I guess that means you hit the wrong hole the first time?;)


:lol:

This reminds me of a story my cousin told me rotfl

[Bust]

Originally posted by Bushdog
I guess that means you hit the wrong hole the first time?;)

I guess that would depend on which hole he was going for first. ;)

Don't forget, your first time is the ONLY time you can get away with pretending it was an accident.

[Autotelik]

I think as you get older and still haven't done it, the less willing you are to just go and settle for having the average person to have it with. If you've held out for that long and are still single, you might as well wait for someone special. At least that's how I feel.

[outcastja]

Originally posted by Autotelik
I think as you get older and still haven't done it, the less willing you are to just go and settle for having the average person to have it with. If you've held out for that long and are still single, you might as well wait for someone special. At least that's how I feel.

I'm 19, and that's how I feel.

[damn_skippy]

Originally posted by Autotelik
I think as you get older and still haven't done it, the less willing you are to just go and settle for having the average person to have it with. If you've held out for that long and are still single, you might as well wait for someone special. At least that's how I feel.


What if that special person you decide to lose it to thinks you need some practice?

[asabase]

Practice with them, duh!

[Max Fischer]

Damn, shouldn't have come back here to see you all were making fun of me!

And btw, I know what I was "aiming" for...LOL :D Nice.

And on the comment of "waiting"...I honestly did intend to, but my girlfriend and I figured it was going to happen between us eventually and we knew that this relationship will keep going (and still is 9 months after the fact), so I do see myself as having lost it to someone who is "special" to me and hopefully always will be. :)

[Max Fischer]

Originally posted by Bushdog
I guess that means you hit the wrong hole the first time?;)

Nope, I'm just that damn good. :rolleyes: at myself...hehe :)

-ohbfrank-

[IC_Freeze]

geez you guys act like virginity is something sacred, to me it's like a cookie, eat it and eat some more :)

[Max Fischer]

Originally posted by IC_Freeze
geez you guys act like virginity is something sacred, to me it's like a cookie, eat it and eat some more :)

I'd rather have sex with one person all my life than 100, but different people will think differently. Nothing wrong with that...:)

[Stoney]

I agree with Max. In fact, I wasn't waiting...being a geek for the most part didn't open the wide world of pu$$y to me...but being at college, the opportunities are there. I was at a party a year ago or so, and the opportunity presented itself and I realized that I wouldn't hit it for a million bucks.

Some people want sex, some want more.

[the aftermath]

Originally posted by asabase
Just be sure to watch this before things move too far along:

http://www.funfreepages.com/videos/vid/the_parlor.wmv

(86MB)
:lol: That was great.

[Graftenberg]

This thread hasn't been touched in the past two years can the virgins in this thread say the same? :D

[twikoff]

:lol:
first time Ive read through this thread.. a few points:

1. 48+ years? WOW!
2. I didnt even make it till my teens
3. there sure are ALOT people that posted in this thread, that are now BANNED

[Graftenberg]

3. there sure are ALOT people that posted in this thread, that are now BANNED

I noticed that too. :lol:

[Slow Hands]

I think I'd pay for sex if I was a virgin at 25. But at 48 you should just give hooker direct deposit for weekly visits.

[costanza]

looks like he'd be about 50 years and 6 months and 4 days or so by now.
he needs to update over here, i'm on the edge of my seat.

[BizRodian]

With the username WWE Jedi? Color me shocked!

:lol:

Yes, old threads always have tons of banned members. Check out pretty much any old thread.

[TheNightFlier]

And I still rotfl @ the WWE Jedi crack

[Baron Of Hell]

Come on don"t be shy.I am 48 yrs-5 months and 19 days a virgin.

That is a long time. Just remember you only live once. How much longer are you going to wait? To the right person comes along? I used to think that way but give that up a long time ago. hmmm are you not counting oral and anal? I'm not sure you can call yourself a virgin if you are.

I haver a general thought that most people that wait until merriage get merried at much younger ages. I'm thinking the sex drive is moving them together but is coming out in others way namely relegion. You kind of break that rule but I would think you are exception to the rule.

[brizz]

And I still rotfl @ the WWE Jedi crack
what's even funnier is that he changed his id....to ChefWinduAZ - which i'm sure really brings in the babes! :lol: rotfl :lol:

[pi]

dvd-4-life, you can get laid (or at least could have). Do you have some social anxiety or chronic shyness or something?

I recently attended a conference on Social Anxiety and the key note speaker told a story about a patient in one of his group sessions. She is 28, a model, and has never been on a date. She is deathly afraid of embarassing herself and cannot bring herself to even converse with a guy. He said she literally has run away from guys....who constantly hit on her because of her looks.

I lost mine a couple months short of my 16th birthday.

I <3 Mexico!! (She was an american on vacation like me)

-pedagogue

[JsphOfArimethia]

I recently attended a conference on Social Anxiety and the key note speaker told a story about a patient in one of his group sessions. She is 28, a model, and has never been on a date. She is deathly afraid of embarassing herself and cannot bring herself to even converse with a guy. He said she literally has run away from guys....who constantly hit on her because of her looks.

-pedagogueWow that sounds familiar. And thanks for bringing this thread back up. :) This things hilarious. Can't believe I never saw it before. That WWE crack is classic. ;)

btw, There's no way I can top 48 (now 50), but I can probably top more than a few people here with 25 and still just as much a virgin as the day I was 24. :p

[phr33k]

um.. i lost mine last year.. but i'm not going to get laid anytime soon since my gf is a christian girl.

[Max Bottomtime]

Lost mine to a "christian girl" at 19. :D

[SteveOVig]

I recently attended a conference on Social Anxiety and the key note speaker told a story about a patient in one of his group sessions. She is 28, a model, and has never been on a date. She is deathly afraid of embarassing herself and cannot bring herself to even converse with a guy. He said she literally has run away from guys....who constantly hit on her because of her looks.



Sounds like my situation, but I'm only 20 though. Ever since junior high I've been afraid of what the consequences would be if I approached a girl. I always think she's gonna think I'm scum or something, so I never even try. I've gotten a little better recently(thanks somewhat to medication) though. I remember being in 7th grade and having a girlfriend, I somehow told everyone in school I was gonna kiss her afterschool one day. I ended up chickening out, made an ass out of myself in front of upperclassmen, and for some reason decided to do the same thing the next day! The day after that, my GF saw that I was nervous and after school when we were alone, she told me I could kiss her and I still couldn't do it.

[Altimus Prime]

Holy shit. 48 and a virgin? If I hadn't got some by the time I turned 30, I would have imploded.

My deflowering occured at 23 years of age.

[Darknite39]

22

I chalk it up to being a "nice guy" who's just starting to get over that social anxiety crap.

[bwvanh114]

30. Also "nice guy" and bigtime social anxiety crap.

[GizmoDVD]

Lost mine to two christian girls! First time was on my 16th birthday, and the last time was last night.

[WillieTheShakes]

Lost mine to two christian girls! First time was on my 16th birthday, and the last time was last night.

You had two virginities?

Which one of the Christian girls was wearing the strap-on?

[ben12]

I know this is totally stupid to ask since this social anxiety thing might as well be called a disease, but what is so scary about looking like a doof or a jerk?

I used to be kind of nervous around girls and strangers, afraid that I'd look stupid in front of them. But I found that after actually looking like an asshole, I could see that it wasn't that bad when I actually was stupid or was an asshole. After that, the risk of looking stupid wasn't that big of a deal. You also need to experience the payoff that can come from risky behavior like talking to chicks. That makes the potential embarrassment seem much less scary. That's not to say that I'm the mack and walk up to any chick I see and talk her up. But when there's something(one) I want, I go for it.

[Darknite39]

OK...For me, it's been anxiety stemming from low self-esteem. Poor self-image-->"if people get to know me, they'll dislike me as much as I dislike myself." So, I avoided just about all social contact, not just with women. Of course, whenever I did happen to ~get to know an attactive chick, my first thought has always been "she deserves better, so why bother?"

The funny thing is, of course, that I knew a long time ago this is bullshit (even I'm not that much of an asshole), but pervasive thoughts of this nature have been hard to overcome. Baby steps, and all that. Hopefully this answers your question in some fashion. If not, I'm sure Peddy can step up to the plate.

[Poink]

Well, I'll be 24 in exactly a month, so I guess I'm in the top 3 oldest here...

There's a number of reasons why, I suppose. I've always been kind of shy to people of any gender, so that's never helped. And after hitting my late teens and still being a virgin, I pretty much decided that it won't kill me to keep waiting, so I figured I'd just hold out for at least someone respectable instead of taking the "drunk chick at a party" or "hooker" routes. I'm kind of picky with girls. Not so much physically; looks aren't a big deal to me, and I find various types of girls/women to be attractive. However, it's the personality & interest parts that makes it difficult for me to find people that I make a connection with. I'm obsessivley into the kind of music and movies that aren't really very popular with 95% of humanity. So, unless people are into some of the same things as me, I just come off as a boring nerdy guy, I guess.

Anyways, on the plus side, I pretty much always get good results when I actually manage to get a "date." They're few and far between usually, but finally I'm getting a bit more active in finding interesting girls to try and talk to. A bit over a month ago I came pretty close to doing away with the whole virginity thing. The only thing holding me back was either the whiskey I had, or maybe nervousness, even. I got to do everything else, at least.

And as a bonus, since I'm sure every last one of you non-virgins (or those still younger than me) probably think people like me must be some fat, Star Trek fan and that's the REAL reason we're all still virgins, I offer you a peek as to what I look like as well as some of the girls I've managed to meet along my journey. http://profiles.myspace.com/users/13149301 *Note; unlike most Myspace users, I've actually met most of my "friends." And oddly enough, the best ones are girls who've "approached" me online. So, I guess maybe I just suck at TRYING to meet girls, but do pretty good when they come to me. :)

[RocShemp]

25 myself. Pretty much a self-declared loser which is the result of a horrible strikeout rate. I'm no looker but damn does it vex me that the most I can hope for when I meet a woman is that she might one day become my friend. And even that is a small number.

I'm not good around people. At least not until I get comfortable around them. Still, I try to fit in without trying too hard since I'm quite aware of how forced it makes me look. In any case, the worst part is how a friend of mine never believed that most women without so much as meeting me tend to react toward me as if I'm poison or pond scum until he saw it with his own eyes from the one of nicest girls he knows. He later appologized for saying I was full of it but, as you can guess, that was no consolation.

[chente]

Hit the nappy dugout at the age of 15 and never looked back.

[kevin75]

while i don't consider myself socially inept, i am 30 and still waiting. my reason is not that i haven't had the opportunity but because of my religious beliefs.

[Charlie Goose]

Wow, two year-old thread. I'm interested if any of the virgins from that time ever got their skin boat christened in tuna town.

[Maxwell Smart]

Man I havent scored in 2 months and I'm going crazy. This puts things in perspective.

[JsphOfArimethia]

I know this is totally stupid to ask since this social anxiety thing might as well be called a disease, but what is so scary about looking like a doof or a jerk?Think of it like a phobia. Like arachnophobia, or closer to this, agoraphobia. It's an irrational fear. You're not supposed to be that afraid, you even know you're not most of the time, but that alone doesn't change the fact that it's there. And it can be crippling at times. That help make sense of it?

[Testy]

Sorry to dredge up an old topic, but found this thread on Google :)

In a few short months, I will be a 40 year old virgin. What's even more sad is that there is a movie in production titled "The 40 Year-Old Virgin" to be released at about the same time as my 40th birthday. The irony is overwhelming....

I did not choose to be a 40 year old virgin because of religious or other beliefs, things just worked out this way somehow. The shame, alienation and depression I feel now is nearly overwhelming. When I was about to become a 30 year old virgin 10 years ago, I was very suicidal. Now that it's 10 years later, I feel nothing emotionally anymore. I think I have managed to re-wire my brain so that I have no emotions anymore.

I am really not looking forward to this movie being released - the timing couldn't possibly be any worse...

[spainlinx0]

Get a prostitute already.

[moorehed]

i am an 87 year old virgin. beat that.

[PopcornTreeCt]

Some of the posts in here are pretty depressing. You guys with low self-esteem need to realize you are the dominant species. Women don't care if you're ugly they just care if you're confident. The guys that get all the chicks are the ones that insult 'em and spit on 'em. Be the alpha male!

[RocShemp]

*comes back with 150 restraining orders* Thanks for all the lousy advice, PopcornTreeCt! :(























j/k

Though I'd never behave like the jerk you describe. It's just not me.

[brizz]

while i don't consider myself socially inept, i am 30 and still waiting. my reason is not that i haven't had the opportunity but because of my religious beliefs.
Apparently the religious beliefs don't get in the way of perusing porn on-line though -ohbfrank-

GET LAID ALREADY!!!!!!!!! GOD WANTS YOU TO!!!!!!!!!!

[Longhungsilver]

hehe i popped my cherry way back in the day when an old gf and me were 14. Oh the memories :) we had the horney teenage syndrome and fucked just about everywhere.. Best one was outside standing up leaning against a wall of sum guys garage on the street.

[DVD Polizei]

You were leaning up against a wall of guys? :whofart:

[Tarantino]

From reading this topic all the way through, I guess it can be said that it's all about confidence. I'm a good looking guy, but I'm no Brad Pitt...I get laid because I know I can get any girl I want. It's all about confidence.

[Longhungsilver]

You were leaning up against a wall of guys? :whofart:
hahaha whoops.. I meant the wall and garage belonged to sum guy.. or girl who knows

[Forum Troll]

29 years, 8 months.

[The Bus]

With the username WWE Jedi? Color me shocked!

rotfl rotfl rotfl

[chriscooling]

36.

[Deftones]

From reading this topic all the way through, I guess it can be said that it's all about confidence. I'm a good looking guy, but I'm no Brad Pitt...I get laid because I know I can get any girl I want. It's all about confidence.

yeah, chicks love stripper poles in your house!

[Testy]

It's all about confidence.

Apparently, because I have none whatsoever. I am totally convinced that I will be rejected, and therefore cannot work up the courage to even try. The older I get, the more convinced of this I become - it's a vicious cycle...

[JBR52]

I never dated until my senior year in HS. Then I had a longterm girlfriend that was completly set up for me by some friends, so I was 17. But since that has ended, I've had nothing because I have a tremendous fear of failure and little to no self confidence.

[WiccanMuse]

Some of the posts in here are pretty depressing. You guys with low self-esteem need to realize you are the dominant species. Women don't care if you're ugly they just care if you're confident. The guys that get all the chicks are the ones that insult 'em and spit on 'em. Be the alpha male!

Coming from a girl...

You don't have to be a jerk, just have confidence in yourself. Self-confidence is extremely sexy, and low self-esteem will make even the most attractive man seem unattractive.

Muse

[sfsdfd]

Apparently, because I have none whatsoever. I am totally convinced that I will be rejected, and therefore cannot work up the courage to even try. The older I get, the more convinced of this I become - it's a vicious cycle...
The failure isn't in being rejected. The failure is in not trying at all. Failure hurts, but it teaches lessons that improve your chances later on (presuming you think about what worked and what didn't.)

It really is like learning to ride a bicycle. You're going to fall over a lot at first.

- David Stein

[Corleone]

It really is like learning to ride a bicycle. You're going to fall over a lot at first.

- David Stein


And then one day you will fall on some female genitalia...

[Heat]

Wonder how dvd-4-life did with his online significant other?

I just wanted to see if there was some one older than me that is a virgin.The reason I haven't been around-I met someone online.

He's over 50 now, hope he got some.

Anyway, yes, you must have self confidence to meet women and get dates which could lead to you getting laid.

[naitram]

Wow, I feel sorry for some of you guys. Not because you haven't gotten any, but because you have really low self-esteem. Take life by the balls, what do you have to lose? When you're 65 you're going to wish that you'd been more assertive, taken more chances and risks - and then it's too late. What's the worst that's going to happen? You'll get turned down some, maybe snickered at - big deal.

If you walk around looking like you care about yourself, acting like you have a purpose and a plan, and assuming that women will find something interesting about you, then you're bound to hook up with someone. You shouldn't measure your value on how many women you've had or haven't had anyway. Of course I wasn't saying that earlier today. -wink-

[auto]

Wonder how dvd-4-life did with his online significant other?

He's over 50 now, hope he got some.

Anyway, yes, you must have self confidence to meet women and get dates which could lead to you getting laid.

I see him popping up in threads all the time. Wish we could get him back in here for an update.

[Tarantino]

yeah, chicks love stripper poles in your house!

It doesn't hurt, that's for sure.

[GatorDeb]

Wow, I feel better now :) I'll be 27 next month. I AM waiting until marriage, but until then let's just say I can take care of my own needs ;)

[brizz]

T

M

I

[ChefWinduAZ]

what's even funnier is that he changed his id....to ChefWinduAZ - which i'm sure really brings in the babes! :lol: rotfl :lol:

:lol:

You are a riot.

-ohbfrank-

[mookiemeister]

36.

I just turned 36. A couple of years ago I thought I might get some when I proposed to a girl with a diamond ring. Too bad she turned down my marriage proposal. :(

[BlasTech Industries CEO]

I just turned 36. A couple of years ago I thought I might get some when I proposed to a girl with a diamond ring. Too bad she turned down my marriage proposal. :(

Give that ring to some chick on the street corner, she'll fuck your brains out, and you won't have to wake up next to her every day for the rest of your life. It is a win win situation.

[brizz]

:lol:

You are a riot.

-ohbfrank-
still nothing eh?

[tranceforever]

This is a very amusing thread.

I hope to think that most adults know that appearance has no impact on whether one is a virgin or not.

There are ugly, fat slobs with small dicks who think they've got a bull dick hanging between their legs who get laid by a bar whore anytime they fancy. Also, they are some handsome men and some very well-hung men who can't get laid for nothing.

it's all about confidance, personality, desire and religious beliefs (morality). These four are the greatest predictors of how long we will remain virgins in our lives.

If you never mothered or fathered a child, how in the hell does anyone know if you're a virgin or not unless you've made porn videos?

Why are men embarrassed by virginity? Do men invite a male friend over to serve as a witness as they have sex with a woman for the first time?

I'd rather have big fucker between my legs who has sex with one woman than have a tiny dick attached to the majority of men and fuck millions of whores per annum.
I would argue that most men would be more embarrassed about their small penises than their virginity status.

Who cares if you're a virgin or not? In all honesty, what is the issue?

It's absurd in every way.

[KDforever]

Coming from a girl...

You don't have to be a jerk, just have confidence in yourself. Self-confidence is extremely sexy, and low self-esteem will make even the most attractive man seem unattractive.

Muse

Totally. :thumbsup:

[dvdmovie1]

26, lost it about 4 weeks ago. "The O.C." happened to be on during, and for the next couple of weeks, kept thinking, "Who'd have ever thought I'd lose my virginity while 'The O.C." was on?" Anyways, went very well and was happy.

[Tarantino]

I'd rather have big fucker between my legs who has sex

Now that's gross.

[Canadian Bacon]

<------------ and never hs gotten any :( I'm saving myself for marriage, something tells me I'll be saving for a while.

[movieking]

I think that I was 17 or 18, and I thought that I was the oldest virgin in the world at that time. It wasn't the fact that my friends were having sex that made me think that, but more so it seemed like I had been wanting to have sex for a long long time.

I know of a couple of people that just seem to have no sex drive. Having sex is not a big issue to them, since they don't really have that sexual drive to them. To each his own I guess.

[RocShemp]

I don't think this thread had to do with shame but rather with curiousity as to how long some have held out. I know I'm not ashamed of being a virgin. I'm just upset I seem to be ackward with women. Years of that really taxes your self confidence.

[Testy]

I would argue that most men would be more embarrassed about their small penises than their virginity status.

Or for us two-time losers, we're cursed with both. Much of the reason I believe I'm a virgin is due to low self-esteem. The low self-esteem is due in large part (no pun intended) to a small tallywhacker.

I am so convinced that even if I did somehow find a girlfriend, the first time the clothes came off I'd be humiliated beyond belief. That's one reason that I don't even try to find a woman anymore. I'd rather be a lonely, mastrubating loser than a humiliated, lonely, mastrubating loser...

[Darknite39]

Porn doesn't help matters re: penis size paranoia. : )

Seriously, I understand the size concerns. I mean, I'm of average size (or a tad over, perhaps, depending on the stat one relies on), and I'm still paranoid that I'll be laughed at or something. That would certainly make for a bad "first time."

I'm almost to the point of faking confidence, finding a girlfriend, and getting it over with so I can move on. I don't have much of a sex drive generally, but it would be nice to take part in this rite of passage before I'm old and gray (melodramatic--I'm 22). It might even help me get over some of my social anxiety, which would be great. I didn't envision my first time as a meaningless fuck, but I guess it really doesn't matter in the end.

Decisions, decisions.

[Longhungsilver]

my advice on the matter of not wanting your first fuck to be meaningless....

If you dont wait until marriage then itll end up being meaningless anyways..because the girl you feel so special about will leave you or vica verca...then it wont matter how meaningful it was at the time cuz it will be tainted... so dont worry about it being meaningful unless you want to wait a much longer time... there are no sure things in this world so u might as well say fuck it and have fun dude get a hooker :D lol

[Darknite39]

Thanks for the input, LHS; I hadn't actually examined the situation from that perspective previously...more for me to think about.

Re: the hooker: I'm not a hunchback or anything; I don't think I'll have to pay for whatever I end up getting--it's just a matter of going for it in the first place. ;)

[Longhungsilver]

ahh hehe well go to a bar or club meet a chick and good luck man. and really dont worry about the size thing, i have sum chick friends and they have all told me stories of being with guys with small u know wuts and they all said they didnt really care and definetly didnt mention it to the guy.

[glassdragon]

Thanks for the input, LHS; I hadn't actually examined the situation from that perspective previously...more for me to think about.

Re: the hooker: I'm not a hunchback or anything; I don't think I'll have to pay for whatever I end up getting--it's just a matter of going for it in the first place. ;)

even if you were, didn't that hunchback in the disney movie get a hot woman or something?

seriously though, it's not that big of a deal. Afterwards you'll probably be like "that's it?" At least that's what i said after my first time.. of course it wasn't real memorable so that could be why haha

[Oraphus]

wholly shit! so your best years are way behind you.. at 48 you can barelay get your dick up, but still waiting for someone special.. my advice.. get a hooker ASAP!

[Testy]

I don't have much of a sex drive generally, but it would be nice to take part in this rite of passage before I'm old and gray (melodramatic--I'm 22).

Take it from someone who's about to turn 40 - DON'T WAIT! At my age, the fact that I am a virgin is a tremendous negative, at 22 it's not so bad. At 40, people will think there's something terribly wrong with you (and they're probably right!).

A lot of people at 40 are nearly Grandparents, but I'm nearly 40 and I've never even been kissed, or had any physical contact whatosever with a woman. Words cannot begin to describe how bad this makes me feel at this age.

At least at 22, you have a chance at a "normal" life - don't become a statistic!

[NCMojo]

Take it from someone who's about to turn 40 - DON'T WAIT! At my age, the fact that I am a virgin is a tremendous negative, at 22 it's not so bad. At 40, people will think there's something terribly wrong with you (and they're probably right!).

A lot of people at 40 are nearly Grandparents, but I'm nearly 40 and I've never even been kissed, or had any physical contact whatosever with a woman. Words cannot begin to describe how bad this makes me feel at this age.

At least at 22, you have a chance at a "normal" life - don't become a statistic!
Look, it would be one thing if you lived back in 1974... but these days, we have this little thing called The Internet. There are a dozen different dating services... and after a certain age, women more or less abandon the whole idea of being particular.

The major point is just to realize that sex is not a big deal. It's not that tough. It's not even that magical. To borrow a slogan from Nike... just do it. Go online, start chatting up some divorcées, and good luck.

[PacMan2006]

Testy...

You are 40 and never had physical contact with a woman? Can you explain your situation more?

Like, is this more due to you, or just circumstances or what? Do you get any attention from girls and just resist? Are you just timid? Are you aggressive and just get shot down?

What about holding hands, hugs, etc? What about more simple stuff, like exchanges of email or phone numbers?

I'm just curious...

[Nick Danger]

Testy, get counselling. It helped me a lot.

Part of your problem is that you're sending "Stay away from me" signals to women. You aren't aware of it, and even they may not be aware of it, but it's like an antiwoman force field around you. A counsellor, who deals with this sort of thing every day, can help you out of your habits.

But if you don't take the first step of trying to change your life, it won't change. Changing your life is slow, and sucky, but it's better than doing the same thing every day forever.

Also, there's about zero chance of a woman laughing about your small package. Sometime in their mid-30s, women get their priorities in order. They've divorced the asshole and now they want a nice guy. Their bodies are sagging a bit and don't expect a guy with perfect looks. They don't play the stupid games they played as kids. Avoid the crazy ones, and you'll have either have fun or painlessly find that one particular relationship doesn't work.

[phatboy]

Don't know how you could hold out for that long. You're pretty disciplined, I'll give you that.

After that many years I don't think you can really call it "discpline" more than ....*thinking*....nah...I can't kick a man when he's already been down for 48+ years....back to lurking....

[Tarantino]

This thread makes baby jesus cry.

= J

[Testy]

You are 40 and never had physical contact with a woman? Can you explain your situation more?

Like, is this more due to you, or just circumstances or what? Do you get any attention from girls and just resist? Are you just timid? Are you aggressive and just get shot down?

What about holding hands, hugs, etc? What about more simple stuff, like exchanges of email or phone numbers?


Nope, no physical contact ever. Never even held hands or gotten a phone number. If I've ever gotten attention from girls, I've not noticed it (which may be part of my problem, I don't know).

I am very timid when it comes to women. Like Nick said, I probably am sending "Stay away from me" messages without intending to. I realize that if I don't do something, my situation won't change. Women aren't going to come knocking on my door to go out with me - I need to do something in order for this to happen. However, at this point in my life I am so convinced that no woman could possibly find anything about me remotely attractive or interesting that I don't even try.

There's also the stigma of being a 40 year old virigin to contend with. It's certainly not normal, and does bring up the question of "is he gay?" (which I am not). Even though I am a 40 year old virgin, it's not because I don't find women attractive or that I am attracted to men. I am very attracted to women - I just can't get over the feelings that I am such a complete and total loser that no woman could possibly see anything in me. The viriginity issue does nothing to help with my self-esteem either (which is about as low as it can get right now).

[melbatoast]

I just can't get over the feelings that I am such a complete and total loser that no woman could possibly see anything in me. The viriginity issue does nothing to help with my self-esteem either (which is about as low as it can get right now).

There's the problem right there. It's extremely UNattractive to be so down on yourself. Confidence is everything.

Share with us some more though as to why you are still a virgin. Are you disfigured, deranged, what? You can't be all that bad of a guy. If it's the self-esteem thing, it can be remedied.

[PacMan2006]

Who cares if you are a virgin? That's not your big issue. Why do you even care or worry about that? It's not like you need to walk around, parading the fact that you've never had sex.

Your biggest issue is just getting more comfortable with yourself and around others. It's a tough thing to do--I have issues with it myself. For me, I've noticed that environment and the surrounding people make a big difference--though that may be obvious. If you like where you are, where you work, and some of the people who are around you, you'll be more relaxed and feel more comfortable.

If not, and maybe this is your case, then you obviously won't. Like melbatoast said, talk more about your overall and/or daily situations....

[Testy]

Share with us some more though as to why you are still a virgin. Are you disfigured, deranged, what? You can't be all that bad of a guy. If it's the self-esteem thing, it can be remedied.

No, I'm not disfigured or deranged - at least I don't think so :) I do have a lot of insecurity regarding my lack of "size" though. I do know that my self-esteem is at rock bottom, and I am also extremely depressed. For many reasons, this upcoming 40th birthday is really weighing heavily on me. I'm going to be 40, single, and still a virgin - that is truly depressing to me.

I am going to go to the doctor in the next week or so and see about getting back on some anti-depressants, as I have virtually no energy or motivation right now...

[Testy]

Why do you even care or worry about that? It's not like you need to walk around, parading the fact that you've never had sex.

I try not to - in fact this is the only place I've ever discussed it. I've never discussed it with my friends, my doctor, or with a shrink. People that I've known for years might suspect that I am a virgin, but I have never mentioned it nor have I discussed it. Perhaps that's part of the problem - I'm so ashamed of it that I cannot talk face to face about this issue - it would be downright humiliating...

[PacMan2006]

But I guess I'm saying...why is this even an issue? If you tell no one, then it's moot isn't it? Are you just upset/depressed about this fact, or does this fact actual factor into how you interact with people?

Because I think that aspect is like number 44 on the priority list of worries. I think you need to be more concerned with just getting comfortable with people and doing little things eventually, like holding hands or exchanging hugs. That amazes me MUCH more rather than the fact that you are a virgin.

[melbatoast]

But I guess I'm saying...why is this even an issue? If you tell no one, then it's moot isn't it? Are you just upset/depressed about this fact, or does this fact actual factor into how you interact with people?

Because I think that aspect is like number 44 on the priority list of worries. I think you need to be more concerned with just getting comfortable with people and doing little things eventually, like holding hands or exchanging hugs. That amazes me MUCH more rather than the fact that you are a virgin.

I agree. You seem like a genuine person on here... so why be any different in person? I don't see a problem. I say we find you a nice respectable woman!

[phatboy]

Coming from a girl...

low self-esteem will make even the most attractive man seem unattractive.

Muse

I Call B.S. on this one. I know PUH-LENTY of good looking dudes that couldn't form a coherent sentence to save their momma's life b/c of lack of self-confidence but for some odd reason, women find this "cute and darling-like" and they think they're "sweet". But change scenario to that of a hairy, drooling, fugly, man sloth and suddenly it's a turn off....go figure. :sarcasm: If you're good looking, your odds go up by about 100....that's just from my own personal expereinces.

But then again, you look at the stats and surveys where men and women are asked what they look most for in a mate #1 answer in a man is ALWAYS looks...and if you say something else...you're LYING!!! A woman says "someone who can make me laugh/humor"....that can be true but if the dude ain't up to par in the looks category....:goodbye:

[gnradd21]

Phatboy speaks the truth. Looks make a big difference, whether people want to admit it or not. Ugly dumb guys are just not that endearing, but sometimes girls (myself included :() will fall for airheads just b/c they're cute.

I think it's wrong for some people to just say "confidence makes all the difference". It's hard to be super confident if you know you're not attractive. If you do you look even more pathetic. There's nothing more annoying to me than ugly guys who are smug and over-confident. Believing in yourself and your abilities is one thing, thinking you're God's gift to the planet is another.

Testy, I"m not sure if anyone's mentioned it yet, but have you tried meeting people online? That may make it easier for you to open up and be comfortable getting to know a woman. Then if you end up meeting in person you won't feel so insecure. It's really up to you I guess. You have to change your situation, or at least the way you interact with women, or 5-10 years from now you'll still be a virgin. I think it's good to talk to someone about it and let them know how much this fairly minor thing has been troubling you. Any friend who would actually laugh or mock you isn't fit to be a friend anyway.

[Tarantino]

Well...lack of confidence in the size of your 'member'...

How small are we talking here, junior?

[Oraphus]

I don't think anyone disagrees with a point that looks matter.. it's plain and simple .... they do. But looks are not a breaking factor.
I have friends that get by on looks alone.. I mean we can be at a bar just hanging out and girls will come out of their way to let him know they are interested. When you have looks you can't help but have confidence, because you know women respond to you.
But i also have guy friends that are attractive to women, but are not confident around women and that's a turn off to a lot of women.. They might give you shot to talk to them when you first meet.. but if you can't string a few coherent sentences together.. or don't know what to say or just really say the wrong thing.. your "shot' will end right there.. unless she is drunk.

In colege i had a friend that was nothing special in the looks department, but was very confident in himself and i was amazed at the ammount of ass he got.. and the quality of women.

There is no absolutes, but confidence helps a great bit.

[melbatoast]

There is no absolutes, but confidence helps a great bit.

It helps tremendously!

[Testy]

How small are we talking here, junior?

Let's just say I fail the "toilet paper tube" measurement test...

[melbatoast]

Still, I think you need to work on your self image. Once you can learn to love yourself, then you'll be lovable. Period.

[Oraphus]

Let's just say I fail the "toilet paper tube" measurement test...
That does not mean much.. are we talking like a roll or quarters here? that's not that bad.
yes, there are women that prefer a large penis.. but there are also many that don't like big ones, because they hurt them.
Learn to work with what you have..
hell, I’ve talked to women that say "my boyfriend/husband has a big cock, but he doesn’t know how to use it and is too rough to where i don’t really even like the sex anymore"
Even if your penis is 1 inch long you can learn to use it well. Foreplay is a must, not to mention there are things you can do with your tong that many women would prefer over intercourse.
It just seems like you're trying to find any excuse possible to wallow in your misery. Grab your balls (assuming you got balls) go out there and meet some women, don't over analize it.. do it. When you meet a women that likes you for you, dick size will not matter.

[brizz]

That does not mean much.. are we talking like a roll or quarters here? that's not that bad.
yes, there are women that prefer a large penis.. but there are also many that don't like big ones, because they hurt them.
Learn to work with what you have..
hell, I’ve talked to women that say "my boyfriend/husband has a big cock, but he doesn’t know how to use it and is too rough to where i don’t really even like the sex anymore"
Even if your penis is 1 inch long you can learn to use it well. Foreplay is a must, not to mention there are things you can do with your tong that many women would prefer over intercourse.
It just seems like you're trying to find any excuse possible to wallow in your misery. Grab your balls (assuming you got balls) go out there and meet some women, don't over analize it.. do it. When you meet a women that likes you for you, dick size will not matter.
There is much wisdom here. And from someone with an incredibly average dick who has had LOTS of sex in the last twenty years, I can testify to every point made. I've had women tell me about previous lovers with giant dicks that they hated...i've never had one tell me that they prefer them, rather, they make do. One gf of mine had previously been with a guy that had two inches to work with, and while it was ultimately a deal breaker, she gave it all she had and they did make love a number of times. unless your packing a roll of dimes, I think you'll be surprised at what women actually prefer (in general...). And it is all in how you use it...i've had a couple dozen partners and not a single complaint....but lots of compliments.

[brizz]

oh, and what the hell is the toilet tube test? I'd probably fail that too.....

[Testy]

oh, and what the hell is the toilet tube test? I'd probably fail that too.....

According to a small-penis support site I visited, if you can fit entirely inside an empty toilet paper tube when erect - you're too small :)

[Darknite39]

the wonders of modern science...

[dogmatica]

According to a small-penis support site I visited, if you can fit entirely inside an empty toilet paper tube when erect - you're too small :)

...oh shit...

[TomOpus]

According to a small-penis support site I visited, if you can fit entirely inside an empty toilet paper tube when erect - you're too small :)... and what about those that need a paper towel tube -eek-

[ike0000]

Let's just say I fail the "toilet paper tube" measurement test...

So should whoever fails this test be posting in this thread instead?

http://www.dvdtalk.com/forum/showthread.php?t=344237



Did the OP of this thread ever come back to give any status updates?

[Saxofonix]

I think as you get older and still haven't done it, the less willing you are to just go and settle for having the average person to have it with. If you've held out for that long and are still single, you might as well wait for someone special. At least that's how I feel.

And by extention ... if you wait until you're 65, then only the then-current equivalent of Charlize Theron will suffice. So yeah, your reasoning makes sense.

[Testy]

... and what about those that need a paper towel tube -eek-

They should have no problems at all. They're probably the same guys who can sit at the bar and lick their own eyebrows :)

[Nightrider662]

I don't really want to bump this page up but I'm a 40 year old virgin too and like Testy has never had any physical contact with a woman. Its the worst feeling in the world and I thought I was the only one this has happened too. I think my problem stems from that I'm scared to death of Women. Its a lonely feeling.

[PJsig08]

I never actually read through this thread, but after the bump, I read through the whole thing and have to put some response here.

It's all about confidence. I was pretty depressed in high school and early college, from about 18-19, had some hard times, social anxiety, some of the same stuff I've read here. Around 20, I got a lot better and things went up...my confidence increased because I forced myself out into normal, social situations. Ever since then have been doing fine and understand it really is how you present yourself.

I'm not small or large but pretty fuckin normal size and it's just something you gotta get over. Everyone is pretty much concerned about their dick, but 99% of women will look at your dick and realize its a normal fuckin dick. I've heard plenty of stories with girls with huge dicks and some love em, some don't love em. I mean, the majority of us jizz over big tits, we love em, and of course the size of them matters. So how about the majority of the girls out there with small/normal size boobs? They are of course concerned with the same thing as pretty much every guy with a dick. Whatever, that shouldn't be the reason you don't talk to a girl.

I dunno, at 40, I'm guessing you're at the point where it doesn't matter anymore. If you want sex, get a hooker. If not, it may happen someday. But damn, if you want to get laid, social interation with females, or just to feel better about yourself, get out there. Fake being happy when out some weekend night, and who the hell knows what will happen....that got me back to feeling better.

[Tarantino]

Get on the internet and start mackin' on some chicks online...that way they know you for you before you meet. You also run the risk of meeting a dude posing as a chick or a chick with a dick...but hey, you'll probably still get laid.

Put an ad out on craigslist.org or something. There are ways, gentlemen.

[Rockmjd23]

. I've heard plenty of stories with girls with huge dicks and some love em, some don't love em.
Mr.Blonde seems to love them.

[NCMojo]

According to a small-penis support site I visited...
Wait, wait, wait -- a small-penis support site???

-eek-

Oh, come on. It's just a dick. While there may be some positions that a small penis rules out (for example, I like to stand naked in the back yard and fuck my wife through the second-story window)... believe me, you can get the job done.

[JJE-187]

Well I guess I can confess my life to complete strangers in a DVDTalk thread, couldn't hurt
I am 24 (25 in August) and am still a virgin. I would have to say my main reason for being a virgin is almost everything mentioned already. I have no self esteem. I am a "Big Guy" about 275-280 and because of a bad chlidhood & a fear of dentist from said childhood, I have the worst teeth in the world, so I can't flash a fancy smile. I was confident about 9 years ago and tried the get this 1 girl, I bought her flowers, gifts, wrote poetry and I still nener got her to go out with me. We were "friends" but I wanted more. I had the 2 great friends back then that helped me by encouraging me, I lost contact with them about 6 months after "that summer" and I dropped out of school and sunk into a deep dark depression. I slowly worked my way back out and 3 months after 9/11 (not sure if it affected me or not) decided to learn how to drive, get a job and try to start a life. which was great, I was starting to get friends again but then 1 of them died in an accident, real hard time for me and almost a year to the date my other bestfriend died in a similar accident, really screwed me up. I stared having tremors, anxeity, depression relapse. So I got treatment but now I have no real friends left, so I have no one to get advice and have with me to boost my confidence. Girls talk to me but I am just to afraid to try and get seroius. Maybe someday i'll get over it and move on. Who knows

[Nightrider662]

Yea I don't have the greatest teeth either and I have very little self esteem. Thats another reason why I'm afraid to aproach any women. I'm sorry for your losts and hopefully you can get past it all.You are still only about 25.

[ChiTownAbs, Inc]

this thread is a trainwreck.

[innocentfreak]

So how long does it take before one becomes a born again virgin?

[Graftenberg]

So how long does it take before one becomes a born again virgin?

If it is 8 years then I am almost there. :fro:

[Texasgingersnap]

Although I'm 19 and lost it last July w/ my girlfriend of 2 years...I think there is nothing wrong with still being a virgin until you are married. I mean, I was trying to do that, but damn my girlfriend was just too damn hot for me to resist. :D

Your girlfriend was TWO years old :question:

[Texasgingersnap]

I'd rather have sex with one person all my life than 100, but different people will think differently. Nothing wrong with that...:)

That's so.......... so........ I'd like to say "sweet", but you'd probably take it the wrong way..... how about "refreshing"..... even inspirational.....

Bravo!

[Texasgingersnap]

i am an 87 year old virgin. beat that.

Wow, I'll bet you have beat that, plenty....

[ivelostr2]

I have read over this thread for the first time today, I hope that something i can say here will help you guys.

Really, after a certain age, like 24 or so, looks matter so little for a guy to get a girl. It is all in how you make the girls feel. I interact with to a lot of young (16-22) girls at work, my brother owns a pizza shop, and I still work there while I finish school. I am 27, overweight, and balding, and I could still nail most of the girls that work and hang out there just because I do something most of the guys their age don't, I listen and talk to them. Really, I know it is a cliche, but I talk to these girls and they are so happy. They call me for advice all the time, with movies, college, guys, parties, anything, soemtimes they just want to talk. If you listen to them, they could be putty in your hand.

Another important thing is to be comfortable with you sexuality. My fiance and I are very open, we talk about everything. Without that, and I have had relationships with women that are very rigid to talk about sex with, everything is harder and less enjoyable.
The best way to become comfortable with you sexuality is to get that first time out of the way. I remember my first first time, it was in a boat that was in my driveway, it was way unspecatular, but it is still a great story to tell at parties. My second first time (long story about 2 first times) was in a post office parking lot, also unspectacular and brief, but the stories get better as i go through my sexual history, and I have learned a lot on the way (if the boat girl is listening, I'm sorry, I can do better I promise).

I'm just saying, if you ae waiting for the perfect first time, I have never heard that story, but I can tell you some of my friends' bad ones if it will help.

Lets see, I have a he came on her stomache and left immediately and then sent his rommate in to throw her out naked story, I have the planning to hold off until marriage story, then broke up with the guy she dated for 3 years and fucked a guy who lied and said he was a stripper in someone's bathroom because he said she was pretty, and then ignored her at the mall 3 days later story. I have the stayed a virgin in highscool, socially inept in college, and met a guy who fucked her and then introduced her to coke and ex, which she did to stay his girlfriend, and then he dumped her and she aquired a bad habit that started her on a crack whore path. I have the girl who dated my best friend, refused him for months, broke up with him, had knee surgery, and then got addicted to vikes, and gave her virginity to the guy selling her vikes. I have the one of the girl that wouldn't have sex with her boyfriend, then went to a party and had sex with a guy she worked with on the back porch steps on a cold December night (I was young and drunk, and SHE used me).

This is what I do, I collect stories and try and figure things out, that is probably why i went into the psych field. I have heard a lot of first times that aren't horror stories, but I really can't think of one perfect first time, it doesn't happen. The sooner you get it over with the sooner you will get past that huge step that really isn't that huge of a step. It becomes a part of life you enjoy like any other part; like eating cheese cake, or that fresh feeling after a shower, or stealing a 20 minute nap during wheel of fortune, between jeopardy and prime time TV. At that point, is when it becomes something so much more special that the huge event that you think it is, that's when it becomes something real that is a valid part of your existence.

Just my 2 pennies...

[Testy]

I don't really want to bump this page up but I'm a 40 year old virgin too and like Testy has never had any physical contact with a woman. Its the worst feeling in the world and I thought I was the only one this has happened too. I think my problem stems from that I'm scared to death of Women. Its a lonely feeling.

Yes, it is. I have signed myself up for psychiatric sessions and possibly medication because the depression has become overwhelming. Then that "40 Year Old Virgin" movie is due to be released any week now, that will sure help the ol' confidence level. Great timing, I'll be a 40 year old virgin soon, and they pick now to release a movie making fun of my situation (indirectly).

I'll get over it (the movie), but facing 40 and being a virgin is an extremely difficult task for me.

[dvd-4-life]

I started this thread and didn't know there were so many in this situation.Its nothing to get depressed about.

[Dr. DVD]

I guess technically I still am, seeing as how the first time I "did it" I was drunk off my ass and so was the girl, and I only knew it happened because so many guys congratulated the next day (it was at a party). Once a hot woman dry humped me into oblivion with her ass on a dance floor, but I doubt that counts as well.

For the record, I'm 28 and have had physical contact (i.e. hugging, kissing, french kissing) with women before, but never get aggressive enough to go all the way, at least in a sober state of consciousness. What's really disturbing is the fact that not only does society place pressure on you to lose virginity before marriage, but if you don't get into a relationship with sex on a regular basis they start to think it's only a matter of time before you turn into a gun toting psycho.

[PacMan2006]

To Testy and others...

I'm curious...are you more depressed that you are a virgin and just simply have not had sex, or are you depressed because you simply don't have a lot of contact with girls and have low self esteem? I guess I'm just trying to figure out if you have this notion that it's all about the sex and that's all you want and are depressed you haven't done that "big thing," or are you down because you aren't doing the simple things other guys may be doing (like hanging out with girls, dating, etc)?

[Dr. DVD]

Good question Pac, I don't know.

My guess, we are frustrated that we don't have what society perceives to be normal for people our age (or older), i.e. GFs, dating lives, and sexual activity on a regular basis. But that's just my guess.

[Darknite39]

That sums it up nicely.

[Bogart McFaddin]

Just turned 30 a few weeks ago :) It sucks being this way but I just don't really care anymore

[gate1975mlm]

28 here

[PHMustang2000]

I am 23, will be 24 in December but now I don't feel so bad

[Nick Danger]

Are you sure you don't have it backwards? When I was depressed in my 20s to mid-30s, I didn't have any sex. I didn't have any social life at all, because getting through each day took all my energy. Also, people can sense a depressed person and will avoid him.

I didn't have a social life until I got counselling and took care of the emotional problems. I'm simply lucky that I had sex with one woman when I was 20, before I was completely overwhelmed. There wasn't another for quite some time.

[Sun~Flower]

hi everyone. i am a reporter doing a story inspired by the upcoming movie ''40-year-old virgin'' about real-life adult virgins and the effect it has on their lives. if you are willing to contribute to this, e-mail me at nh410@hotmail.com before 5pm on Fri Aug. 12. No spammer or time-wasting e-mails PLEASE! Testy, dvd_for_life and others - stay strong!

Thanks for your time.

[Darknite39]

Are you sure you don't have it backwards? When I was depressed in my 20s to mid-30s, I didn't have any sex. I didn't have any social life at all, because getting through each day took all my energy. Also, people can sense a depressed person and will avoid him.
Based on my experience, I'd say that's spot on. I've been at least mildly depressed for the past decade or so and had a nonexistent social life. Now that I'm coming out of that, I do have a relatively small group of friends with whom I can socialze. However, I never really learned how to venture into non-Platonic territory, so to speak, so I avoid it. I have to really trust someone to let her get close, and by the time that trust develops I'm reluctant to "try something" for fear of losing the friend. For example, I tried to do this once last year (although in an admittedly half-assed way), and that person hasn't talked to me since.

It's good that the school year is beginning anew. Perhaps I'll run across someone else worth making a pass at...in a non-half-assed way this time.

[gameover2k2]

Based on my experience, I'd say that's spot on. I've been at least mildly depressed for the past decade or so and had a nonexistent social life. Now that I'm coming out of that, I do have a relatively small group of friends with whom I can socialze. However, I never really learned how to venture into non-Platonic territory, so to speak, so I avoid it. I have to really trust someone to let her get close, and by the time that trust develops I'm reluctant to "try something" for fear of losing the friend. For example, I tried to do this once last year (although in an admittedly half-assed way), and that person hasn't talked to me since.

It's good that the school year is beginning anew. Perhaps I'll run across someone else worth making a pass at...in a non-half-assed way this time.


Lose the weight and start to workout.. trust me.. i've done it before.. it works.. your self confidence will skyrocket.. might be very HARD at first.. but give it a try..

[Darknite39]

I did that about 5 years ago...I've put on about 25 lbs of muscle thus far (from 130-155, and I'm 5'11), so I'm fairly toned. That certainly did help with my general confidence and self-esteem levels, but it didn't necessarily help me a whole lot with respect to the domain of interest.

[Testy]

To Testy and others...

I'm curious...are you more depressed that you are a virgin and just simply have not had sex, or are you depressed because you simply don't have a lot of contact with girls and have low self esteem?

I guess it's both. Like Dr. DVD said, society expects 40 year old men to have had lots of sexual conquests, or at the very least, to not be a virgin. Being a 40 year old virgin male is just not what society expects (unless you're a priest or something).

My self-esteem is in the toilet, I am severely depressed, and I am dreading my upcoming 40th birthday - as well as the untimely release of this movie. As if I don't have enough issues to deal with, along comes a movie that pokes fun at my very condition.

I know the movie's timing is purely coincidental, but it's also painful to see the advertisements for this movie, and even my TiVo has the trailer featured prominently on the main menu. I can't wait for the water cooler discussions at work about this movie- about how ridiculous the premise is. "That's stupid, there couldn't possibly be a 40 year old virgin!" And I'll just have to laugh along with them, all the while feeling like a mutant.

[ivelostr2]

I guess it's both. Like Dr. DVD said, society expects 40 year old men to have had lots of sexual conquests, or at the very least, to not be a virgin. Being a 40 year old virgin male is just not what society expects (unless you're a priest or something).

My self-esteem is in the toilet, I am severely depressed, and I am dreading my upcoming 40th birthday - as well as the untimely release of this movie. As if I don't have enough issues to deal with, along comes a movie that pokes fun at my very condition.

I know the movie's timing is purely coincidental, but it's also painful to see the advertisements for this movie, and even my TiVo has the trailer featured prominently on the main menu. I can't wait for the water cooler discussions at work about this movie- about how ridiculous the premise is. "That's stupid, there couldn't possibly be a 40 year old virgin!" And I'll just have to laugh along with them, all the while feeling like a mutant.

Not that it's in the same ballpark, but I felt this way when Van Wilder came out. I had been aimlessly drifting through college for 7 1/2 years at that point, without a degree (I since have 2 and will have 3 by christmas) and everytime I saw that commercial, whoever I was with would crack up. People would call me the first time they saw the trailer, asking me about it. It was initially funny, but it got really depressing, knowing since I was the first thing that came to my mind, they really did see me as a big loser. It motivated though, I got my shit together and graduated asap, the good news was I was, since I had been taking random classes, I was close to 3 majors and a minor, so now instead of one useless degree, i will have 3 and 1/2...

[Nightrider662]

In response to PacMan2006 my answer would be both. I am really depressed about being a virgin. Its on my mind constantly. But I am also depressed because I have never had a date with a girl or have ever hung out with any. Its a real bad feeling knowing you're all alone in this world and have nobody to share your life with. I didn't have a great childhood. I was picked on a lot and teased and I got depressed and didn't seem to care anymore. I ate alot and I gained some weight and my teeth got bad. Now at 40 I regret that too.

[lucasorion]

28 here, never dated, never been kissed/held hands, etc. I think in my case it started with being moderately+ depressed in my teens, and then not knowing what I wanted to do with my life after high school. I finally went to college for a few semesters at the age of 20 before dropping out as my depression started to crop up again. Then I went to a community college and managed to get through two years there, getting a full-time job at the age of 23, before I even finished at the C.C. When I was in high school, I got the feeling I was always considered a nice Person by the girls I knew and never really even looked at as a male. I tried to send signals and look for them in return, but never got them. I guess at this point, though I don't consciously believe that it is necessarily true, subconsciously I think that this has become the rule for me. Intellectually I know that absence of evidence is not evidence of absence, but it can be persuading. I think my social anxiety was probably at the severe level - the only thing I did with my peers was to go to school with them, and to play pick-up basketball after school. I haven't had a friend since I was about 12-13. Even though my depression faded as I got into my twenties, and I managed to find a job path that I am optimistic about (still working for that company that hired me 5 years ago, looking for another opportunity) - I feel like I missed a major train in my life, and I can't say I'm optimistic about it coming around again soon. I was overweight through high school, though that was largely resolved with playing a lot of basketball in my junior and senior years, but since I've been working I slipped into the old bad habits and put on weight. I'm probably only about 30 pounds overweight at this point, and I have a good metabolism, so I am confident that I will take it off in time for my 10 year reunion this november.

I have been alone for so long that it has become my lifestyle, much like the character in "the 40 year old virgin" (which I saw today) When I was in my early-mid teens, I was so sure that I wanted to be married and have kids, I thought that it would "happen to me" by the time I was 25. Depression is a powerful thing. It convinces you not only to lose hope but to not even miss the act of hoping - and even when it fades away to some degree, if you were in it for long enough, you get out of the habit of hoping for and pursuing a better life. My problem is not with the fact that I haven't had sex, but that I haven't led the life that leads to having a relationship and everything that comes with that (including intimacy)

[PacMan2006]

^^I'm curious, you mentioned you haven't had a friend since 12 or 13 years old...is this still the case? You don't have any friends now?

You mentioned girls, but what about getting along well with guys? Have you been able to build friendships or whatever with other guys?

[lucasorion]

^^I'm curious, you mentioned you haven't had a friend since 12 or 13 years old...is this still the case? You don't have any friends now?

You mentioned girls, but what about getting along well with guys? Have you been able to build friendships or whatever with other guys?

sorry, I was on a little road trip (by myself) - I had school friends, the guys I played basketball with, but never really did anything after school or on weekends. I haven't been interested in making close friends since I was a kid. I don't know why, it seemed like just as the interest in wanting a girlfriend increased during puberty, the interest in hanging around with other guys diminished.

[SuprVgeta]

Come on don"t be shy.I am 48 yrs-5 months and 19 days a virgin.
Didn't they just make a movie about you? J/K.

[Nick Danger]

Clever and original! I'm sure he's never thought of that one before!

[Nick Danger]

Oh, wait.

Yes, it is. I have signed myself up for psychiatric sessions and possibly medication because the depression has become overwhelming. Then that "40 Year Old Virgin" movie is due to be released any week now, that will sure help the ol' confidence level. Great timing, I'll be a 40 year old virgin soon, and they pick now to release a movie making fun of my situation (indirectly).

I'll get over it (the movie), but facing 40 and being a virgin is an extremely difficult task for me.

[Derrich]

At some point, wouldn't you just break down and call an escort service?

D

[maxinquaye]

At some point, wouldn't you just break down and call an escort service?

i get the feeling that while that might provide a quick thrill, it wouldn't really eliminate the over-riding feelings of lonliness and inadequacy. i could be wrong, but it seems like a lot of these older virgins wouldn't care nearly as much if they weren't so lonely and didn't feel so socially isolated and/or inadequate. the whole "virgin" thing seems like more of a cherry on top (so to speak) phenomena than anything else- sort of like, i know i'm a loser, AND i have to wear this scarlet V on my chest. the whole "i'm never going to..." attitude just grows and grows until the despair is overwhelming. whether it's i'm never going to have sex, be successful, find someone who understands me, etc. i know personally that is how i would look at it, for better or worse. being a virgin or not being a virgin should come secondary to not being completely miserable. and over time it all spirals together into a self-perpetuating image of yourself...which is really hard to escape from.

[joliom]

Save up some money, go to Vegas, sit at the bar in any major hotel after 10:00 PM, and wait for the good looking hookers to swarm to you like mosquitos. Or call an escort service, plan a trip to Amsterdam, or head to the Bunny Ranch. Just get it done if it's eating away at you that much. Consider it a baby step toward improving your life.

[joliom]

Save up some money, go to Vegas, sit at the bar in any major hotel after 10:00 PM, and wait for the good looking hookers to swarm to you like mosquitos. Or call an escort service, plan a trip to Amsterdam, or head to the Bunny Ranch. Just get it done if it's eating away at you that much. Consider it a baby step toward improving your life.

[Nick Danger]

I'm not sure it's an improvement to go from feeling unable to attract women to feeling that the only women you can get are prepaid.

[joliom]

I'm just saying, if it's eating away at you that much (the virginity, that is, not the inability to get a girl) then try the paid route as a sort of jumping off place. Get over that first hurdle and then move on to meeting regular girls (even if all you're doing at first is practicing being social rather than trying to get laid or find a girlfriend). I'm not advocating a paid lovelife as a lifestyle - that would just feed your feelings of inadequacy and probably make you feel like more of a sleaze. And obviously if you're completely turned off by the thought of paid sex, then that's dead in the water. I was speaking more to the guys who were saying that they're hung up on the fact that they're virgins rather than the guys who are depressed about not having had romantic relationships with women. Call girls are not the answer for group #2, no doubt.

[lucasorion]

I'm in group number 2, since I've never given consideration to the options you mentioned. I've never even wanted a one night stand type of encounter (except maybe when I was thirteen and having dreams of Dana Delaney on "China Beach")

[joliom]

Me too. I have no interest in prostitutes, strippers, etc. (although I have no problem with it in general). And I'm not very promiscuous because I'm pretty paranoid about disease and just personally hate empty and shallow encounters with women. I won't lie, I've had plenty of one night stands in the past, especially in college, but I really have very little interest in that sort of thing now. It just seems to me if virginity is the sole hangup you have in regards to meeting women, then eliminate it the most efficient and expedient way possible so you can move forward. Obviously, if your real issue runs deeper and is related to interacting with women (or people in general) and virginity is just a perceived tell-tale of that larger problem (the "cherry on top" as the other poster put it), then you have to start elsewhere. One thing I can recommend for you guys who are intimidated by women or held back by low self-esteem, is to just start trying to talk to people with no expectations of anything beyond that. You have to learn to talk to people; it takes practice. After awhile it starts to get easier, and then you can command an entire conversation with relative ease. Trust me, I used to be the same way as a lot of you guys. I was scared to approach a woman, when I did I usually embarassed myself, and I couldn't initiate physical contact very well when I actually managed to get that far. But after awhile I started noticing how many girls actually did fall for me whom I merely saw as plutonic friends or who I wasn't interested in but had occassion to be around socially for some reason. That told me everything. When I wasn't trying to attract a woman or worried about coming off as Mr. Sexy Man to her, my success rate was great. That's because I was being myself and not overwhelmed with nervousness and self-doubt. And I can tell you, I have yet to meet a woman who isn't self-conscious herself - I don't care if it's Miss America - they all have their issues with the way they look or how they're being perceived. And looks aren't everything either. Certainly if you look like Brad Pitt things are going to be a bit easier, but even that has its hangups because you want to be loved for who you are, not what you look like, and when you look that good you're always in constant doubt of people's true motives for being with you (the same goes for rich folks). Mature women (say, 30+) are more concerned with less superficial qualities in men. Generally, they want someone with a great personality who makes them feel special, is stable, and fun to be with. That doesn't preclude every guy who's overweight, balding, or has a small penis. Just get out there. Nothing will ever happen for you if you don't.

[joliom]

Me too. I have no interest in prostitutes, strippers, etc. (although I have no problem with it in general). And I'm not very promiscuous because I'm pretty paranoid about disease and just personally hate empty and shallow encounters with women. I won't lie, I've had plenty of one night stands in the past, especially in college, but I really have very little interest in that sort of thing now. It just seems to me if virginity is the sole hangup you have in regards to meeting women, then eliminate it the most efficient and expedient way possible so you can move forward. Obviously, if your real issue runs deeper and is related to interacting with women (or people in general) and virginity is just a perceived tell-tale of that larger problem (the "cherry on top" as the other poster put it), then you have to start elsewhere. One thing I can recommend for you guys who are intimidated by women or held back by low self-esteem, is to just start trying to talk to people with no expectations of anything beyond that. You have to learn to talk to people; it takes practice. After awhile it starts to get easier, and then you can command an entire conversation with relative ease. Trust me, I used to be the same way as a lot of you guys. I was scared to approach a woman, when I did I usually embarassed myself, and I couldn't initiate physical contact very well when I actually managed to get that far. But after awhile I started noticing how many girls actually did fall for me whom I merely saw as plutonic friends or who I wasn't interested in but spent some time around. That told me everything I needed to know. When I wasn't trying to attract a woman or worried about coming off as Mr. Sexy Man to her, my success rate was high. That's because I was being myself and not overwhelmed with nervousness and self-doubt. And I can tell you, I have yet to meet a woman who isn't self-conscious herself - I don't care if it's Miss America - they all have their issues with the way they look or how they're being perceived. And looks aren't everything either. Certainly if you look like Brad Pitt things are going to be a bit easier, but even that has its hangups because you want to be loved for who you are, not what you look like, and when you look that good you're always in constant doubt of people's true motives for being with you (the same goes for rich folks). Mature women (say, 30+) are more concerned with less superficial qualities in men. Generally, they want someone with a great personality who makes them feel special, is stable, and fun to be with. That doesn't preclude every guy who's overweight, balding, or has a small penis. Just get out there. Nothing will ever happen for you if you don't.

[joliom]

Me too. I have no interest in prostitutes, strippers, etc. (although I have no problem with it in general). And I'm not very promiscuous because I'm pretty paranoid about disease and just personally hate empty and shallow encounters with women. I won't lie, I've had plenty of one night stands in the past, especially in college, but I really have very little interest in that sort of thing now. It just seems to me if virginity is the sole hangup you have in regards to meeting women, then eliminate it the most efficient and expedient way possible so you can move forward. Obviously, if your real issue runs deeper and is related to interacting with women (or people in general) and virginity is just a perceived tell-tale of that larger problem (the "cherry on top" as the other poster put it), then you have to start elsewhere. One thing I can recommend for you guys who are intimidated by women or held back by low self-esteem, is to just start trying to talk to people with no expectations of anything beyond that. You have to learn to talk to people; it takes practice. After awhile it starts to get easier, and then you can command an entire conversation with relative ease. Trust me, I used to be the same way as a lot of you guys. I was scared to approach a woman, when I did I usually embarassed myself, and I couldn't initiate physical contact very well when I actually managed to get that far. But after awhile I started noticing how many girls actually did fall for me whom I merely saw as plutonic friends or who I wasn't interested in but spent some time around. That told me everything I needed to know. When I wasn't trying to attract a woman or worried about coming off as Mr. Sexy Man to her, my success rate was high. That's because I was being myself and not overwhelmed with nervousness and self-doubt. Once I realized that, I was able to overcome all my social anxiety around women I was attracted to and found my rhythm. And I can tell you, I have yet to meet a woman who isn't self-conscious herself - I don't care if it's Miss America - they all have their issues with the way they look or how they're being perceived. And looks aren't everything either. Certainly if you look like Brad Pitt things are going to be a bit easier, but even that has its hangups because you want to be loved for who you are, not what you look like, and when you look that good you're always in constant doubt of people's true motives for being with you (the same goes for rich folks). Mature women (say, 30+) are more concerned with less superficial qualities in men. Generally, they want someone with a great personality who makes them feel special, is stable, and fun to be with. That doesn't preclude every guy who's overweight, balding, or has a small penis. Just get out there. Nothing will ever happen for you if you don't.

[joliom]

Me too. I have no interest in prostitutes, strippers, etc. (although I have no problem with it in general). And I'm not very promiscuous because I'm pretty paranoid about disease and just personally hate empty and shallow encounters with women. I won't lie, I've had plenty of one night stands in the past, especially in college, but I really have very little interest in that sort of thing now. It just seems to me if virginity is the sole hangup you have in regards to meeting women, then eliminate it the most efficient and expedient way possible so you can move forward. Obviously, if your real issue runs deeper and is related to interacting with women (or people in general) and virginity is just a perceived tell-tale of that larger problem (the "cherry on top" as the other poster put it), then you have to start elsewhere. One thing I can recommend for you guys who are intimidated by wome