Serious Question Re: Female Sexuality

[Save Ferris]

A woman says shes straight yet fantasizes about other women when masturbating (and only then). Do you think such a woman can have a serious hetrosexual relationship? Should someone be 100% sure they're straight before any long term commitment to a relationship?








note: I didnt put this in the mature forum because im hoping this can be a serious discussion-- no "woo hoo 3 some!" comments plz. ;)

[AGuyNamedMike]

How old is she? Does she verbalize a desire or an intent to engage in lesbian sex in real life? She may merely be curious or entering an experimental phase. I certainly wouldn't rule out a serious heterosexual relationship with this person based on this one thing. I subscribe to the opinion that some people are homosexual due to genetics, some are homosexual due to psychological reasons, and a tiny number are homosexual merely by choice, but I don't think any of these apply here.

[benedict]

I don't think anyone can really control another person's sexual fantasies. And isn't it better that she is thinking about a woman than another man?

[dek]

woo hoo 3 some!












;)

[beavismom]

If she says it is just a fantasy, I wouldn't worry too much. Women have fantasies about many things that they don't really want in real life, ie the "rape" or domination fantasy.

[pi]

"If I had a million dollars....I'd do two girls at the same time"

-pedagogue

ps. There is always room for office space....and Sex Monster:

http://ia.imdb.com/media/imdb/01/I/30/63/71m.jpg
http://us.imdb.com/Title?0159730

pss. I wouldn't worry alot about it...if she likes/loves you, that should be all that matters.

[pi]

Originally posted by matta
I know this really doesn't address the homosexual issue (because I don't have any experience there), but I think there's no difference between fantasizing about a man or a woman. You can fantasize all you want, but as long as you don't act, your relationship can stay healthy.

There may be reasons why she fantasizes about them...and it might not be "because they are girls" There may be attributes that she sees in the girls that should likes...ie...they may be more gentle, cuddle, etc. With women (from my experiences) it isn't about screwing someone..there are alot of other things that come about with a fantasy.

-pedagogue

[movieking]

If I was a woman, I would be a lesbian! :eyebrow:

Now that I have that out of my system, a lot of women supposedly have lesbian fantasies (and many would not admit to it). I read an article that said that all women have the potential to have a lesbian affair, while most men claim that they would never think about it...

[Bandoman]

Originally posted by movieking
I read an article that said that all women have the potential to have a lesbian affair, while most men claim that they would never think about it...

I often think about a lesbian affair.

[Save Ferris]

Yea i know girls are just 'wired differently' and pretty much assumed it was nothing. You just wonder if somewhere down the road you just dont 'do it for them' anymore because youre the wrong gender!

[joshd2012]

Originally posted by pedagogue

http://ia.imdb.com/media/imdb/01/I/30/63/71m.jpg
http://us.imdb.com/Title?0159730


:up:

[Nick Danger]

Save Ferris said:
A woman says shes straight yet fantasizes about other women when masturbating (and only then). Do you think such a woman can have a serious hetrosexual relationship? Should someone be 100% sure they're straight before any long term commitment to a relationship?

Is it unacceptable for a woman to be 95% straight? Would such a woman be incapable of having a serious relationship? Believe it or not, some women are a little bi.

Even a woman who's 50/50 bisexual can commit to one man, just as you can commit to one woman out of all the potential sex-partners in the world. The question is whether everyone is going to commit to a monogamous relationship, not what's being given up. If the commitment is there, the rest doesn't matter.

If someone trusts you enough to tell you her sexual fantasies, it would be a terrible abuse of that trust to abandon her because you don't like her fantasies.

[Nick Danger]

Save Ferris posted again while I was composing my response.

If you didn't do anything for her, she wouldn't be with you. Don't worry about that.

On the larger time scale, she's taking a similar risk that you'll someday tell her that you're a closet gay. It's a risk everyone has to take. If she's being this honest with you now, I'd say you'll be okay.

[Josh-da-man]

A fantasy is just a fantasy. It doesn't necessarily mean anything.

I also have a feeling that's much more common for women to fantasize about being other with women than it is for men to fantasize about being with other men.

[thinknate]

My ex-girlfriend was ashamed of her fantasies -- I am the only person other than her sister that she has ever told about it. I don't know much detail, because she didn't want to share a lot... but I do know that when she would fantasize, it would be a scene where she was a man and she would dominate/rape a woman. I still find this a little weird. But it has never manifested itself in any way -- she has never had anything other than conventional heterosexual activity. So I didn't treat it as a problem, and it never became one.

Hope that helps.

[Jack Straw]

Originally posted by thinknate
My ex-girlfriend was ashamed of her fantasies -- I am the only person other than her sister that she has ever told about it. I don't know much detail, because she didn't want to share a lot... but I do know that when she would fantasize, it would be a scene where she was a man and she would dominate/rape a woman. I still find this a little weird. But it has never manifested itself in any way -- she has never had anything other than conventional heterosexual activity. So I didn't treat it as a problem, and it never became one.

Hope that helps. Wow, you've got one hot number there. I would start digging for any other fantasies that she is harboring. Could turn into an exquisite evening together.

[NickAdonidus]

I actually have more women freinds than men, and I cant think of a one who wouldnt lay claim to fantasizing about other women when the masturbate...
It is a very common thing, HENCE a FANTASY! Has nothing to do with there own sexuallity... I would have to say 99% of the women I know are straight.... and all have claimed this fantasy... yes.. I said "ALL", and I am not imbelishing.

[thinknate]

Originally posted by Jack Straw
Wow, you've got one hot number there. I would start digging for any other fantasies that she is harboring. Could turn into an exquisite evening together.

I guess you missed the part where I said she was my ex-girlfriend. :)

[Sdallnct]

Originally posted by Nick Danger
Is it unacceptable for a woman to be 95% straight? Would such a woman be incapable of having a serious relationship? Believe it or not, some women are a little bi.

Even a woman who's 50/50 bisexual can commit to one man, just as you can commit to one woman out of all the potential sex-partners in the world. The question is whether everyone is going to commit to a monogamous relationship, not what's being given up. If the commitment is there, the rest doesn't matter.

If someone trusts you enough to tell you her sexual fantasies, it would be a terrible abuse of that trust to abandon her because you don't like her fantasies.

Good points. IMHO it is VERY possible that a fantasy is just a fantasy.

However, lets set that aside for a minute.

I believe in the theory that if you take a scale and put 100% homosexual on one end and 100% heterosexual on the other then very, very few people would be at either extreme end. Most folks would fall "in between". I also feel this scale is dynamic (changes) through out a persons life.

Just suppose this g/f or yours has been with another women sexually in the past. Does this mean she had a homosexual relationship? Or does it mean she is a homosexual? Or both? Or neither?

If you love her. She loves you. You want to be with her. She wants to be with you. If these are yes, then count yourself lucky.