My first "tossed salad"

[Mongo]

At least, I assume the term "tossed salad" is appropriate when it's done by a guy to a chick... err, anyway.

Ok, I'll admit, I did it. This is one of those things that I never, repeat NEVER imagined myself doing. I'm not a prude by any means, but, licking an ******* just seemed to be going a bit far.

Anyway, last night we got a room with a jacuzzi in it. After spending about 45 minutes in the jacuzzi (by the way, strong bubbles + too much bubble bath = lots of suds :) ) Where was I? Oh, yeah. So after we got out of the bubble bath I started heading down. When I got down there, the thought crossed my mind unexpectedly, and I figured hey, what the hell, after 45 minutes in a jacuzzi, it's as clean as it's ever gonna get.

Results? Well, thankfully, there was no taste, so I found nothing objectionable about it (other then the mental hang up) And guys, let me tell you something... it drove her nucking futs! I just continued to lick around there while "my fingers did the walking" somewhere else. I've been with this chick for about 18 months or so, and last night was by far the most intense orgasm I've ever seen her experience.


So, the moral is. If you don't have a hot tub or jacuzzi, get (to)one. Spend some time with your chick in it. and then teach her why you really are god's gift to women (or at least, god's gift to her.)

[funkyryno]

News flash: "Women love oral sex"


18 months and you've never tasted the tuna taco? Damn, I feel sorry for that girl.

[boston george]

Score! Did you use syrup or grape jelly? I prefer syrup.

Originally posted by funkyryno
News flash: "Women love oral sex"


18 months and you've never tasted the tuna taco? Damn, I feel sorry for that girl.


He wasn't talking about the "tuna taco". You need to study up on your prison lingo :lol:

[victant]

Originally posted by boston george
Score! Did you use syrup or grape jelly? I prefer syrup.




He wasn't talking about the "tuna taco". You need to study up on your prison lingo :lol:

Hmm...tuna taco with a side of tossed salad. Maybe this should be moved to the FOOD FORUM ;)

[costanza187]

Ewwwww, is an understatement.

[borisdisco]

Now have her urinate while you eat the "tuna taco." You will love it.

[qbert]

:confused: :hscratch:
http://www.animfactory.com/sales/images/toss_salad_wooden_bowl_hw.gif
















:p

[Phil L.]

Originally posted by boston george

He wasn't talking about the "tuna taco". You need to study up on your prison lingo :lol:

:lol:

http://home.mindspring.com/~pal531/_uimages/shillinger.jpg

[Mopower]

Originally posted by borisdisco
Now have her urinate while you eat the "tuna taco." You will love it.

rotfl

[Josh-da-man]

You need to realize two things:

1. She will probably want more soon.

2. No matter how much she enjoys the act, she will likely be insulted if you request she clean thoroughly first.

[Mopower]

Some point in time she may ask you if she can take a dump on your chest. Then you say, it would be an honor and a privledge.

[cultshock]

Originally posted by Mopower
Some point in time she may ask you if she can take a dump on your chest. Then you say, it would be an honor and a privledge.

Yeah, then after that would come the "hot lunches". :lol:

[brizz]

Congrrats! And don't worry, it gets better and better ;)

Oh, and the arse is within the acceptable realm of things that can be requested to be cleaned before putting your mouth on it....it's just practical, not to mention cleaner and healthier. If she wants her ass licked again (which she will, and you'll grow to enjoy it too seeing her get off so hard), she can be expected to get it squeaky clean first.

Now, if you ask her to deuche before you'll go down on her, then you'll have some problems ;)

[Gattman]

Mongo you think going down on a woman is going to far well remember that next time you want her to give you a blow job

[funkyryno]

Originally posted by boston george

He wasn't talking about the "tuna taco". You need to study up on your prison lingo :lol:

Oh, I'm confused now. So is a tossed salad a rim job? For some reason I always thought it meant oral sex, as in a blow job. With the dressing being the .... well, you know what the dressing would be. Sort of a creamy ranch.


If it's a rim job, now I understand why he was saying you got to do it in a hot tub. The chlorine is definetly going to kill all the nasty arse germs.

[Gunshy]

Hmm, "rim job" ain't enuff of a euphemism ya gotta give it another fancy name like "tossed salad"? Why not just call it "dancing in a meadow of lavender"?

;)

-Gunshy

[Zedsed]

"Having your salad tossed, is getting your ass hole eaten out with jelly or syrup. I prefer syrup."

"What the heck is a rim job?"
"Why, that's where you put your legs behind your head and have someone lick your ass."

[Bru]

I prefer givin her the human plug up the ass and watching her squirm like a little squirrel trying to get away. but thats just me.

[Rod Thorn]

Originally posted by borisdisco
Now have her urinate while you eat the "tuna taco." You will love it.

Tossed salad vinaigrette :thumbsup:

[Pants]

Tossed her salad huh?

You should be ashamed of yourself :) Ain't it great

Well next comes finger, and then......

[Mongo]

Originally posted by Gattman
Mongo you think going down on a woman is going to far well remember that next time you want her to give you a blow job

Ok, apparently some people are a bit confused. No, it's not the first time I've gone down on her. Hell, I'm the "go down" king. My tongue isn't pierced because I think it looks cool.

It was however, the first time I went down on her ass :D

Well next comes finger

Yeah, well, took care of that step already also.

and then......

Well, she's always considered that "obscene." But then again, I'm pretty sure she would have considered what I already did obscene as well, and she sure as hell enjoyed that.

Nothing like corrupting a good little catholic girl

(Does this mean I'm going to hell? :D )

[Pants]

Well, she's always considered that "obscene." That's why you should do it to her.

[Josh-da-man]

You're probably well on your way to some backdoor shenanigans.

Once women have learned that the backdoor can be a source of pleasure, their curiosity tends to get the better of them.

BTW, we're not talking about the "tuna taco." It's more like the "chocolate starfish." *

[gkar]

http://www.dzynetrix.com/scratch.gifSo...........is "Hot Dog Flavored Water" required?

[costanza187]

Originally posted by gkar
http://www.dzynetrix.com/scratch.gifSo...........is "Hot Dog Flavored Water" required?

rotfl


I dont know why I went back and read this thread again...

Id never let anybody do that to me, or I wouldnt like do that to anybody else, no F'in way

[Mongo]

Id never let anybody do that to me, or I wouldnt like do that to anybody else, no F'in way


Never say never...a week ago I'd have said the same thing.

[funkyryno]

so when are you going to convince her to try it out on you?

[Khan]

Originally posted by Josh-da-man
You're probably well on your way to some backdoor shenanigans.

Once women have learned that the backdoor can be a source of pleasure, their curiosity tends to get the better of them.

BTW, we're not talking about the "tuna taco." It's more like the "chocolate starfish." *


What's the * for? Or shouldn't I ask.

I noticed the other day that there's a racehorse called 'Chocolate Starfish'. I burst out laughing when I heard it and then shut up quickly in case anyone else had heard of the expression. Luckily, it seems nobody had. Just you perverts here, I think.

[costanza187]

Up until the Limpbizkit CD, the only other time I had heard chocolate starfish was on that sex and the city episode, when Charlotte and Trey were at the marriage counseling place. That's where I learned what that meant.

[bigsoos]

(_*_)

[boston george]

Originally posted by Pants
Tossed her salad huh?

You should be ashamed of yourself :) Ain't it great

Well next comes finger, and then......

and then....

FISTING of course

[victant]

Originally posted by bigsoos
(_*_)

:lol:

[Gunshy]

Originally posted by bigsoos
(_*_)


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-Gunshy

[JamesBrian]

I asked the cute girl working at McDonald's for a tossed salad and all she gave me were some goddam vegetables.

[NickAdonidus]

[i]


I dont know why I went back and read this thread again...

Id never let anybody do that to me, or I wouldnt like do that to anybody else, no F'in way [/B]

Um... WHY?... Try it.... you'll like it!!!!

[sfsdfd]

Originally posted by boston george
Did you use syrup or grape jelly? I prefer syrup.
rotfl I love that line - Chris Rock at his funniest.

- David Stein

[Buford T Pusser]

Originally posted by JamesBrian
I asked the cute girl working at McDonald's for a tossed salad and all she gave me were some goddam vegetables.

no ranch dressing?

[Phil L.]

Originally posted by Buford T Pusser
no ranch dressing?

And how did Ranch ever get to be a flavor anyway?

What's it taste like? Dirt and horse poop?

[Buford T Pusser]

Originally posted by Phil L.
And how did Ranch ever get to be a flavor anyway?

What's it taste like? Dirt and horse poop?

Not the ones I've tried.


Let me change my question:

No creamy ranch dressing?

[bigsoos]

did it smell like a pool?

[alarican]

I tried it...I can't get over the mental part.

I could never let her do it to me!

[fmian]

Originally posted by alarican
I tried it...I can't get over the mental part.

I could never let her do it to me!

Somehow a womans ass is much more appealing than a mans ass. It's probably the hair thing. I wouldn't want to put my woman through it either, but I've felt the urge to do it to her pink little thing on more than one occaision.

[Derrich]

Without jelly or some condiment, I don't think it's officially a tossed salad.

D

[Bust]

this thread has got me rotfl

Classic stuff. I always preferred the term "Rim Job" though. Probably because there was a girl in my hometown who earned the nickname "Rimmy", and not because she RECEIVED them. Luckily, she was a "one-guy" girl.