Ooh, that smell...

[LurkerDan]

A friend of mine (seriously) was telling me about the woman he's dating, and he was cracking me up so much I had to post this question for him.

Basically, the woman has quite a nasty smell down there. :whofart: He's a little too embarassed to actually confront her about it, but he's actually thinking of breaking up with her rather than addressing the situation. He's had to make excuses for not eating her out after she asked him to (and after she gave him head). -ohbfrank-

So, here's the question: aside from not bathing, what could cause such a rank stink? And what are the remedies for such a putrid smell?

Any and all suggestions are welcome. After all, he can't keep holding his breath or breathe like a swimmer while he's down there! ;)

I'm going to give him the link to this thread, but I don't know if he'll have the nerve to actually register and post! :lol:

[scottall]

http://www.cbfleet.com/pass2/images2/prod_femcare_summerseve_douche.jpg

[muggins]

<img src="http://s88441235.onlinehome.us/pics/mountain_douche.jpg">

[Big Quasimodo]

I have experienced this back in the day. I spoke to the girl about it, and she claimed that it was unique to "us" - our chemistry, and that she had not had this experience with previous boyfriends.

I have no way of telling if that was BS or not, but that was her story.

It was a one-way oral relationship, I tell you, but then again, I am kind of old-school like that ;) :jawdrop:

[LurkerDan]

Originally posted by Big Quasimodo
I have experienced this back in the day. I spoke to the girl about it, and she claimed that it was unique to "us" - our chemistry, and that she had not had this experience with previous boyfriends.

I have no way of telling if that was BS or not, but that was her story. Sounds more like she couldn't smell herself, and you were the only guy who had the guts to bring it up! :lol:

[POWERBOMB]

So he eats her out but is offended by the smell and is too embarressed to tell her? Tell your buddy to let the girl know about the problem. If she gets upset then she was going to be out of his life anyway.

The worst ting you can do is not communicate. She'd tell your pal that he wreaked there!

[LurkerDan]

Originally posted by POWERBOMB
So he eats her out but is offended by the smell and is too embarressed to tell her? Tell your buddy to let the girl know about the problem. If she gets upset then she was going to be out of his life anyway.

The worst ting you can do is not communicate. She'd tell your pal that he wreaked there! Oh, that's obvious. I've told him as much. But what we're looking for here is how he can, ahem, get her to remedy the smell...

[Deftones]

oh man, this sounds like a situation i dealt with recently. i took the ***** way out and broke off the relationship w/o telling her. rotfl

[POWERBOMB]

Unless you're looking for one-liners and jokes, any real remedy still involves your pal telling her she needs help. It's cheaper for you buddy to just tell her so she can buy her own douche products.

Actually, did your friend ever say she did bathe?

[LurkerDan]

Originally posted by POWERBOMB
Unless you're looking for one-liners and jokes, any real remedy still involves your pal telling her she needs help. It's cheaper for you buddy to just tell her so she can buy her own douche products.

Actually, did your friend ever say she did bathe? What I am looking for (for him) is what the remedy is. Of course it involves him telling her, I already said that. But is douche the solution?

Yes, she does bathe.

[POWERBOMB]

Oh I have no idea if Douche is the solution. Typically the unspoken rule for oral sex has always been only after a shower or bath (or extreme drunkeness). And that rule I've known goes all the way back to jr high.

[So_Cal_SAHM]

Here is what I have learned:

Douching is not something you want to be doing according to my doctor.

I read in a health magazine that putting a 1/2 cup of white vinegar into a bath will help cut down on yeast infections.

Cotton panties so things can "breathe"

Keeping the hair neatly trimmed as well.

Hope this helps :)

[JoeyOhhhh]

I would go with either a sit down or an intervention.

[Li]

I'm actually in a similar situation right now. She's so self-conscience that I'm afraid mentioning it would make her feel awful. Our physical relationship is pretty tame so it hasn't become a major problem. However, I do feel it's a pretty big turn-off, almost to the point where kissing is not so enjoyable anymore. I could never put my head down there though like it is, though. Just thinking about it... :yack:

[LurkerDan]

Originally posted by Li
However, I do feel it's a pretty big turn-off, almost to the point where kissing is not so enjoyable anymore. I could never put my head down there though like it is, though. Just thinking about it... :yack: That's what my friend said too... He basically plans to ditch her rather than tell her. We asked him how he'd feel if she smelled better, and he said it would make a huge difference. We tried to convince him to tell her, but I figure he ought to have some solutions ready if he tells her...

[So_Cal_SAHM]

I also forgot to add that the use of those flushable wipes (smaller version of baby wipes) keeps things fresher as well.

[Mopower]

Ummm soap and water not working then? Tell her to clean down there.

[Ranger]

Oral sex and fungal infection is not good.

This thread got me curious and I found this.

While many women use a douche to clean themselves after menstrual periods or sexual intercourse, gynecologists discourage such routine cleansing. The vagina is made to cleanse itself, and douching may remove the healthy bacteria lining the vagina (normal flora) that help protect you from infection.

By attempting to treat an abnormal vaginal discharge by douching, you might actually worsen the condition. Depending on the cause of the vaginal discharge, your health care provider might recommend a treatment specifically for the condition.

http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/003158.htm

[muggins]

Like the one quote (I think from Bushdog) that is imortalized in a sig: "The lord cleans the cooter just fine."

[Giantrobo]

It's probably some other guy's jizz he's smelling. :lol:

[Li]

Originally posted by Mopower
Ummm soap and water not working then? Tell her to clean down there.

It's not that. It doesn't seem to matter how well she washes down there, the scent still sticks around.

[Josh-da-man]

Isn't vaginal odor a sign of a possible infection?

I asked my girlfriend about this. She said that the topic came up in her college human sexuality class (this has been years, mind), and the instructor said that this could be a sign of an infection.

Then I asked my g/f what gynecologists do when you go in and tell them that you have an odor? Does he put you up in stirrups, stick his nose in, and sniff it out or what? She wasn't as amused as I thought she'd be.

[victant]

Originally posted by Giantrobo
It's probably some other guy's jizz he's smelling. :lol:

:yack:

On topic, maybe she should get checked out by a gynecologist or at least a primary care doc. She might just have a low grade infection that may be easily treated with either oral or topical antibiotics. Just IMHO.

[Ralph Wiggum]

Try an exorcism.

[Li]

Originally posted by victant
:yack:

On topic, maybe she should get checked out by a gynecologist or at least a primary care doc.


She can get really bad cramps during “that time of the month”, and she was supposed to go for that reason, however, being the procrastinator she is, she's yet to even look anyone up. I was hoping that the doctor would notice the odor (how could he/she not?) and recommend a treatment. I just don't have the heart to tell her she doesn't smell like a daisy nor break up for such a seemingly shallow reason. It took her forever to get over her last long-term relationship and she wasn’t half as close as we are. The last thing I want to do is hurt her… though I suppose that feeling shouldn’t keep one from being honest with their GF…



LurkerDan ,

Did your friend in any way describe the odor to you? I'd describe my GF's as kind of a "uriney" smell, which leads people to believe she's not cleaning herself well, but she is, I tell you!


Anyone,

She does have a bad habit of not wanting to change her pads very often when using them (gross, yeah). Think that could have something to do with it? Though I'm not sure how it would considering it's like that weeks after she's used one. Maybe that could cause an infection?

[BigPete]

Sometimes, you just have to take matters into your own hands - but if you play your cards right, you can also earn major boyfriend points in the process.

So do something ultra-romantic - bathe her. Get lots of scented candles going, draw a nice big bath, sneak in the vinegar, lots of bubbles, you could do rose petals, whatever. And then give her a nice sensual washing from head to toe. Depending on the tub size, you can either give her a hand job underwater when the mood is right, or climb in yourself and have submerged sex. Things should improve.

Alternately, if she digs masturbation, you can show her the age-old secret of laying down under the water-faucet in a tub and opening the vavle full stream. Instant high-pressure wash and a fews Os to boot.

[LurkerDan]

Originally posted by Li
LurkerDan ,

Did your friend in any way describe the odor to you? I'd describe my GF's as kind of a "uriney" smell, which leads people to believe she's not cleaning herself well, but she is, I tell you! Sorry, I never asked him to describe the smell. Some things are better left unsaid. :lol:

[sataniko]

I believe that in a human sexuality class I took a couple of years ago, it was mentioned that a really bad smell in a woman's vagina was a cause of Chlamydia.

[speedy1961]

You could try using one of those Power Washer apparatus on her.

In one old girlfriend, it was her multiples of medication that was the cause of her rankness.

[obscurelabel]

Somewhat seriously, you might inquire as to what her diet is like. Depending on one's particular chemistry, diet can affect body odor and the taste and smell of sweat and more ... um ... intimate fluids. If she's willing to try it, she could go on a diet of fruits and vegetables for a while and see if that changes anything. If not, then back to the drawing board ...

Some more extreme advocates of vegetariansim claim that they can identify non-vegetarians by their odor and that this is due to the effect that eating animal products has on body chemistry. Others claim the same thing about alcohol and tobacco users.

Just an idea ...

[greg9x]

Originally posted by Li

Anyone,
She does have a bad habit of not wanting to change her pads very often when using them (gross, yeah). Think that could have something to do with it? Though I'm not sure how it would considering it's like that weeks after she's used one. Maybe that could cause an infection?

:( ... that would indicate to me that a girl wasn't that concerned with 'cleanliness' and i'd stay away..

Everything i've ever read/heard says girls shouldn't douche.. some do out of paranoia, but one's who do to get rid of odors have something else going on down there (usually infection). Just a good general/gentle cleaning down there with soap and water should be enough. Some have an aversion to touching 'down there' too much and don't really get into all the nooks and crannies which could be the problem.

A girl may get a bit 'ripe' at the end of a long day, after excersie etc... but if she still has a strong odor after bathing recently a bit of education may be necessary.

Greg

[brizz]

Sounds like an infection to me.....she should have that checked out....

And as one mentioned, shaving underneath around the vagina can help immensely as well...plus it looks cool :)

[Bushdog]

Originally posted by muggins
Like the one quote (I think from Bushdog) that is imortalized in a sig: "The lord cleans the cooter just fine." :lol::up: What a thing to be remembered for.

[Former User]

Kind of gives a different meaning to "Bushdog".

[MJKTool]

Originally posted by JoeyOhhhh
I would go with either a sit down or an intervention.

:lol:

I still remember my first experience with this smell. The thing is I didnt know about it back when. I made the HUGE mistake of going down on my chick right after we woke up in the morning. I dont know, I guess the juices were rotting or something overnight because I litterally gagged & had to goto the toilet when I went down on her. I felt horrible and sorry for her embarresment, but couldnt help it!! Thats just something you should warn somebody about damnit!

[Deftones]

my friend recommends the "dipstick" method. That's where you use your fingers first, and then non chalantly smell it to make sure it's ok to venture below the equator.

[joltaddict]

Originally posted by LowerDan
A friend of mine...

Suuuure...

[Bushdog]

Actually, I'm guessing it is Dan's vagina. He needs tips on how to deodorize.

[kvrdave]

:eek: Took a look at Bushdog's profile and his last thread posted to, and look where I end up.

[PixyJunket]

http://www.pritchettcartoons.com/illustrations/stink.gif

[LurkerDan]

Originally posted by joltaddict
Suuuure... I can't believe it took someone this long to say that! :lol: (and with that username quoted! :grunt: )

Bah, it's not me, I'm still hung up on that girl from work... :brickwl:

[LurkerDan]

Originally posted by Bushdog
Actually, I'm guessing it is Dan's vagina. He needs tips on how to deodorize. I will, I will. Just as soon as I get this sand out...

[JimRochester]

Run into that twice. So strong it could ruin the mood.

[Bushdog]

Originally posted by kvrdave
:eek: Took a look at Bushdog's profile and his last thread posted to, and look where I end up. rotfl

There's a lesson there, somewhere. ;)

[greg9x]

Originally posted by Deftones
my friend recommends the "dipstick" method. That's where you use your fingers first, and then non chalantly smell it to make sure it's ok to venture below the equator.

Also known as the 'scratch-n-sniff'. A frriend got busted doing that but the girl told him "Don't worry, I KNOW my ***** smells good !!" and a good time was had by all.

Greg

[Turd Ferguson]

Get her some FDS for her Tw-t Rot.

[Jack Straw]

Why not just embrace it?

[MJKTool]

Originally posted by Jack Straw
Why not just embrace it?

You are sick.

[mikehunt]

:yack:
why why why did I click on this thread. I knew from the title it would be bad but :yack:

[Holy Jackson]

funky twat is easily cured by a trip to the gyno. it's usually an fungal or bacterial infection.

[fishdude]

Originally posted by Holy Jackson
funky twat .........

:lol:

That is the funniest saying yet this year!!!!

:lol:

[Shagrath]

Originally posted by fishdude
:lol:

That is the funniest saying yet this year!!!!

:lol:

But Johnson said that on 12/31, so was it the funniest thing of last year?

[Giantrobo]

Originally posted by Turd Ferguson
Get her some FDS for her Tw-t Rot.

"underleg deodorant"


George Carlin

[ugabuga]

I just got out of this situation it was odd this girl i was with showered and was fine when i fingered her. Damn tho whenever she got wet and got off omfg it smelled so bad i had to hold my breath and my head was up near hers! I just broke up with her PEEE-UUU!!!!

[smirnoff]

Here is a bit of a sneaky trick, as your approaching the "funky twat" have a frisk mint ready and poke in there. And voila minty fresh *****. She'll never notice.

But seriously, I think it helps if the person drinks there 8 cups of water a day. Helps in generating new, less stinky, bodily fluids and clensing the body of toxins. Of course that is just opinion I suppose, I don't really have any facts to back that up, but that doesn't mean it isn't true.

[funkyryno]

The "uriney" smell someone was talking about could be a sign of a bladder infection.

[johnglass]

http://www.tournamentofstuff.com/tos7pics/noseplugs.JPG

http://www.usgr.com/water-pressure-washers/images/water_pres6.jpg

[jessecrx]

2 things I would suggest doing.

1. Just flat out tell her that she has a very strong odor, and that it really bothers you. How do you think us guys feel when a girl tells us that our feet smell, or our pits smell.....well, this is the same thing except they dont put their mouths on our pits or feet(or do they?) :)

2. During foreplay, start fingering her. Then after you get your fingers nice n wet get behind her and do one of those steamy make out sessions where you are kissing her shoulders and behind her neck....as you are doing this move your "offensive fingers" over her face....atleast close enough to her nose so she can smell her own stuff. Hopefully she can get the hint and stop you before you venture down there. If it doesnt phase her then something is wrong....something is even more wrong if she STILL expects you to go down there. This method usually works wonders. Kinda like giving her a dirty sanches with her funky juices.

[costanza187]

As previously mentioned... an intervention is the way to go. Round up all the guys that her funky smell has hurt. Sit her down, let them all speak, not in a judgemental way.


I keep picturing that Sopranos episode, Chris' intervention...


Your unit smells so bad it killed the dog!

[the big train]

http://us.st8.yimg.com/store4.yimg.com/I/buyinprivate_1764_43356269

[twikoff]

supposably there are foods/drinks to improve the smell/taste
do a little research
and change her diet for her
lots of water and cranberry juice

[Bushdog]

Simple, boil the vagina in a mixture of tomato juice and vinegar for 10-20 minutes and proof, no more smell.

[Giantrobo]

Originally posted by funkyryno
The "uriney" smell someone was talking about could be a sign of a bladder infection.


or simply dried urine on ends of pubic hairs near her peehole.

[DVD Polizei]

Eating muff is like going to a restaurant. If your dinner tastes funky, mention it to the management, and if it isn't taken care of the next time you go there, eat somewhere else.

P.S. Why is the P-word censored in Mature?

[costanza187]

Originally posted by DVD Polizei
Eating muff is like going to a restaurant. If your dinner tastes funky, mention it to the management, and if it isn't taken care of the next time you go there, eat somewhere else.

P.S. Why is the P-word censored in Mature?

that word is censored and funky twat isnt?

[TomOpus]

I'm surprised no one has made this suggestion:

http://hometown.aol.com/tomopus/images/s_tubo_flex.jpg


:D

[Jack Straw]

Before splitting her place, why don't you just leave this thread open on her computer monitor before leaving. (I'm assuming she has a computer). That way you don't have to be around for the "fallout".

[Josh-da-man]

Originally posted by Giantrobo
"underleg deodorant"


George Carlin

I also seem to recall George saying that he wanted to market a feminine hygeine spray called Sprunt.

[costanza187]

This looks like a good place for a stickup. (Martin Lawrence)

[smirnoff]

Jack straw, I second that idea. LOL

[finbogg]

It's all about how much a girls sweats (down there). I've been with some that were bad and others that weren't. One girl practically never sweated at all (she was from a tropical country so maybe it was that) and she was great to go down on.

[So_Cal_SAHM]

I have a hard time believing you guys would not just come out and tell a girl that she smells. Are you not the same bunch who have no problem calling a chick fat or ugly?

Oh and for the record......girls are not the only ones who can be a little sour down there. You guys might want to smell your own crotches before asking a girl to stick her nose down there.

[spankasmurf]

Originally posted by So_Cal_SAHM
I have a hard time believing you guys would not just come out and tell a girl that she smells. Are you not the same bunch who have no problem calling a chick fat or ugly?

Oh and for the record......girls are not the only ones who can be a little sour down there. You guys might want to smell your own crotches before asking a girl to stick her nose down there.

If we could physically smell our own croteches, why would we need the girl to go down on us? :)

[So_Cal_SAHM]

Originally posted by spankasmurf
If we could physically smell our own croteches, why would we need the girl to go down on us? :)

And if we could lick our crotches we would not need you guys. :)

But since we are stuck taking care of each other I think we have to take the bad smelling ones with the good smelling ones. :lol:

[mee2]

This is what i would do. During foreplay i would scoop out the inside of her nappy dug-out, and then hol dit up to her mouth. She'll more than likely smell it, and realize her cooch smells like red snapper.

[Josh-da-man]

Originally posted by So_Cal_SAHM


Oh and for the record......girls are not the only ones who can be a little sour down there. You guys might want to smell your own crotches before asking a girl to stick her nose down there.

Women can be quirky creatures.

Regarding "male" odor, and I'm sure I'm speaking for all of the guys out there, if a woman is getting ready to go down on me, and tells me my John-Thomas smells a little funky, I'm in the bathroom like a bolt of lightning -- Barry Allen Flash -- and washing that bad boy off in the sink. Because 1) I want the blowjob, and 2) I don't want the procedure to be unpleasant for her.

But it's one of those things that are different for women. In my experience, women don't like to be told things like that. ESPECIALLY in an intimate situation. Chances are good that she'll take it as an insult or an attack. It's kind of like a "Does this make me look fat?" kind of thing. Women are apparently given special dispensation to scrutinize and criticize our wardrobes and grooming, but any scrutiny of a woman's appearance -- even if it is by request -- is a big no-no.

[Khan]

Girls have these things called emotions, that sometimes get in the way of them having sex. The fact that you might have at any time found them 'eew' just ruins it for them.

Guys on the other hand are problem solvers. So you've covered in blood and worse from that truck of carcasses that accidently buried you in your car for three hours on the way home? Yeah, so it seemed like you were certain to die for a while there but who cares now 'cause you're alive and gonna get laid! Have a shower, go heavy on the deoderant and let's go baby!

[Mickey]

I've been in a similar situation, I pussed out and didn't tell her. I stopped having sex with her and eventually broke up but it wasn't exactly a strong relationship anyway.

Since then I've found out the odor can be the sign of a more serious problem. You should sit her down and first tell her how much you care about her, this isn't a personal attack then explain the odor and suggest a visit to the Dr for a checkup.

[nevermind]

I think a nice card and flowers would do the trick.

Inside the card:

Roses are Red
Violets are Blue
You're real sweet,
but your *****? Whew!

[spankasmurf]

Originally posted by So_Cal_SAHM
And if we could lick our crotches we would not need you guys. :)

But since we are stuck taking care of each other I think we have to take the bad smelling ones with the good smelling ones. :lol:

Good thing we all are not yoga experts - what a lonely place the world would be ;)

...and thank god one of us knows how to spell crotches!