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View Full Version : Dirty joke from my innocent old Aunt BONUS:naughty thing my Grandpa said


Buford T Pusser
11-24-2004, 08:11 PM
Enjoy if you so desire:


Get your hanky ready for this one.....

Good Advice From Grandpa

I hope that this will once again confirm that the most important
information in your life won't come from a teacher, the library or the internet, but from a mentor, and on a very personal level.

My long-passed grandfather's birthday is coming up, and for me it is a time to reminisce.

The long walks we used to take. The long drives. The special trips he would make to pick me up so I could spend weekends with him, and the advice he used to give!

Much was wasted because I was young when he died. If he were alive today and sharing his pearls of wisdom, I'd be a better man.

Those gems were well and good, but the one I remember most, the jewel in the crown of grandfatherly advice, came when I was 12. We were sitting in a park, watching children and their mothers enjoying a beautiful spring day.

He told me that one day, I'd find a woman and start my own family.

"And son," he said, "be sure you marry a woman with small hands."

"How come, Grandpa?" I asked.

"It makes your pecker look bigger."

Kinda brings a tear to your eye, doesn't it?

Buford T Pusser
11-24-2004, 08:11 PM
and here's your bonus:


My grandfather on the other side of the family said something funny to me once while visiting me.

He was having a problem getting the seatbelt to connect and said: "Need to put some hair around it and I'll have better luck."




I feel sorry for you kids today that only know totally shaved twats.

GMLSKIS
11-24-2004, 08:30 PM
LMAO

Suprmallet
11-24-2004, 08:32 PM
Originally posted by Buford T Pusser

I feel sorry for you kids today that only know totally shaved twats.

I hope he added that afterwards.

Buford T Pusser
11-24-2004, 08:55 PM
:lol:


That was my editorial input.

Suprmallet
11-24-2004, 08:56 PM
Damn it! I was imagining an elderly man, fumbling with his seatbelt, saying that to a young Buford as he sat wide-eyed in the back of the car, toy camera in hand.

Buford T Pusser
11-24-2004, 08:57 PM
HA! I was 22 at the time.

Suprmallet
11-24-2004, 08:59 PM
:lol: Now I'm imagining a 22-year old Buford, still wide-eyed, sitting in the back of the car with a big plastic toy camera. :D

PopcornTreeCt
11-24-2004, 09:09 PM
Still waiting on the dirty joke from the old innocent Aunt.

POWERBOMB
11-24-2004, 09:15 PM
Old people are the coolest.

kenny79
11-24-2004, 09:18 PM
Originally posted by POWERBOMB
Old people are the coolest.

Especially after rigor mortis sets in.

costanza
11-24-2004, 09:45 PM
Originally posted by PopcornTreeCt
Still waiting on the dirty joke from the old innocent Aunt.

i had to read it twice to make sure i didn't miss it, and i still missed it.

Suprmallet
11-24-2004, 09:46 PM
I think his real aunt sent him the first joke.

Buford T Pusser
11-24-2004, 10:00 PM
Supr is correct. It was the first one about the pecker and tear in the eye.

costanza
11-24-2004, 10:04 PM
i feel like such a fool. i feel better about this situation though. :) good work sheriff.

duff beer
11-25-2004, 12:15 AM
Originally posted by PopcornTreeCt
Still waiting on the dirty joke from the old innocent Aunt.

i'm fucked tired and for somet resaon this made my sides explode