Question about fetishes....

[MartinBlank]

After view the preggo thread something occured to me...where does a fetish come from? What makes them erotic? So, as with most things that perplex me, I wikipedia-ed it... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_fetishism .


As Sigmund Freud described it later, sexual fetishes in men are the result of childhood trauma regarding castration anxiety. According to this theory, a boy curious to see his mother's penis averts his eyes in horror when he discovers his mother has no penis. The inanimate object on which the boy focuses when he averts his eyes becomes the fetishized object. Later in life, the fetishized object must be present in order for the man to complete orgasm. Within this framework, men are capable of having sexual fetishes, while women are incapable—something which makes this a falsifiable theory. This is a point of contention for feminists analyzing Freud's work, who point out that the observed fetishistic behavior in many women makes Freud's theory untenable. Despite such flaws that may make it unpalatable at the present, the theory was taken seriously when conceived.

Having already decided that Freud was a fucked-up individual (we all want to fuck our mothers...no, Sigmund, I think YOU wanted to fuck YOUR mother), I found this to be intriguing.


Just curious if anyone has ever thought about "why" or "what" is the turn-on for particular fetishes.

[moorehed]

i have heard/found this freudian theory before... that's about it.

[scottall]

My mom must have been a fan of stilettos.

[Mrs. Danger]

I think they just happen, like a preference for blondes, or big boobs, or small boobs. I know I was interested in kinky things before I really knew anything about sex, or what kink was.

You might as well ask, what makes people NOT have fetishes? What makes someone like strawberries, but not bananas?

No one ever seems to want to know what makes someone heterosexual.

Not saying there aren't some people who are acting out neurosis, but that could apply to any non-mainstream behavior.

[Abelkems]

My mother and I have a healthy sexual relationship after finding out we were made for each other in an online chat room.

[NeckLover2]

This is something that I have long sought the answers to. There are many fetishes, so why does one person have a fetish for large boobs and another have a fetish for necks, or feet, or hands for example?

Something in our early years must have happened that created the initial spark, and then we just took it the rest of the way.

It is interesting, and at the same time frustrating to understand. One thing is certain, at least with my neck fetish, there's never a need for viagra, lol!

[NeckLover2]

I think they just happen, like a preference for blondes, or big boobs, or small boobs. I know I was interested in kinky things before I really knew anything about sex, or what kink was.

You might as well ask, what makes people NOT have fetishes? What makes someone like strawberries, but not bananas?

No one ever seems to want to know what makes someone heterosexual.

Not saying there aren't some people who are acting out neurosis, but that could apply to any non-mainstream behavior.

Good points!

[Nick Danger]

So that's why I have an erotic fixation on bathroom tile!

[Michael Ballack]

I think no one really know what causes fetishes. I've heard some people say it's because something happened to you as a kid, i.e. you we're spanked or something. Why is that there are people who were never spanked who have a spanking fetish then? What causes a foot fetish? Did you get stepped on as a baby by an adult or something? There's some good theories out there, but no one has really solved the mystery to a point where you could cure someone. Not that some of us would want to be cured anyways. -wink-

[Dubya]

I developed a foot fetish (think they can be attractive but not into toe sucking, that's gross) when puberty kicked in around age 13. I don't recall anything in my early years that would have "caused it" to develop, it just happened. I remember being in a class where the pretty girl beside me would slide her foot in and out of her shoe, and for some reason I found the sight of her foot to be like I was catching a glimpse of a tit or bush. I had been around barefoot girls all the time during summers at the pool and I never once paid any attention to their feet. When puberty kicked in, so did finding feet attractive (or unattractive).

[JesseCuster]

I'm pretty certain that fetishes do develop in people at a young age, though I think it has nothing to do with Freud's theory on why they develop. For me, and mine is a foot fetish, it developed during what was probably my earliest remembered moment of real sexual arousal. For most people, more so maybe for men than women, I think the first time you experience very strong arousal and/or orgasm, even if you didn't totally realize it (I didn't know what was happening at the time), if there is a part of whoever you're fixating on that is helping to trigger or is coupled with the central cause of the arousal, outside of the typical parts that most people fixate on (for men, it's the female butt, breasts and legs) then I think that physical aspect can take on a permanent sexual aspect that will stay with most people their whole lives, whether it be a foot fetish or a neck fetish or a hand fetish or whatever. And women *do* have fetishes, which kind of takes apart Freud's theory. I knew a girl who had a huge fetish for not only other women's feet but her own as well. Outside of girlfriends, she's actually the only friend I've had that I've talked about my fetish to and she talked about her's to me.