So, someone offered me money for sex last night . . .

grunter · 06-24-2002, 02:35 PM

Late yesterday afternoon, I was at the tubs escaping the oppressive Chicago summer heat. It's always nice to be someplace with central air on a day like yesterday (92 degrees and 80% humidity) and it's even nicer when you can stroll around that place wearing nothing but an ill-fitting towel while oggling other virtually nekkid men in various states of excitability and tumescence. If you know what I mean.

So I'm making the rounds of the closet maze, checking out the half-opened doors, perusing the dark playspaces and gloryhole nooks, when this man crotch-grabs me in an extraordinarily impure manner and makes the typical awkward "look-at-me-I'm-a-clueless-married-guy-in-the-bathhouse" come-on that you've no doubt heard a million times over. (e.g. "Oh you're really hot. Do you lift weights? Wanna come back to my room?) I casually rebuffed him and continued cruising. But he persisted, asking me anything at all just to get me to keep talking to him. I non-committally answered a few of his more innocuous questions, but stopped short of giving him a real answer to the big question: "What do you like?" I just gave him a sour look and shifted my eyes away and tried to make tracks towards a more public space.

In a terrible act of desperation, the guy blurts out: "Do you want some money? I've got $100."

I froze. I couldn't quite believe what I'd heard. I turned around, my jaw dangling and just stared at the guy. I mean, WTF? Seriously, WTF? I didn't know whether to be insulted or amused. Did I really look like the hustler type?

Now, most folks on the site know that I'm a big bear of a guy. I weigh in at around 250 lbs. I've got a flattop, a full round beard and yes, I do lift weights, thank you very much. I'm top heavy, with very broad muscular shoulders, a burly barrel-shaped chest and a solid, Shatner-esque, beer-gut. In the context of the baths, my gayness and my bear status I would think would be pretty obvious. Outside of that context on the street, because of my imposing blue-collar stature, folks have mistaken me for everything from an off-duty cop to a long haul truck driver.

For someone to come up to me - me! - and offer me money to play just completely blew my mind. That takes either serious stupidity or some serious balls.

I just frowned at the guy and with as much disgust in my voice as I could muster I said: "NO!" Which effectively shut him down for the moment. But every time I'd pass him in the hallway thereafter, he kept begging me to "think it over."

When I related the story to my partner (who was busy in one of the closet rooms himself, BTW) on the way out, he couldn't stop laughing. I was "his big bear hoo-oar" for the rest of the evening - a fact that he took great pleasure in relating to several of our friends over the phone last night. He even offered me $10 to clear off the dining room table after dinner. (I'll get that bitch. Just you wait and see.)

So I ask you. Should I have been complimented by this man's offer? Or was my instant revulsion warranted? It completely creeped me out as it was happening. But looking back, I'm wondering whether I over-reacted.

Mopower · 06-24-2002, 02:47 PM

Were you at the White Swallow Spa? (southpark reference)

Thats a little messed up. I'd feel flattered yet sicked at the same time. AND NEVER GO BACK!

Jepthah · 06-24-2002, 03:54 PM

That's a compliment, no matter how awkward, you can't deny facts.

I don't think I could handle being a gay man--assaulted with hormones and libidos as raging as my own.

joeblow69 · 06-24-2002, 04:28 PM

You forgot to mention if the guy was cute or not! I mean, really, isn't the point of hanging out at Steamworks to have sex with hot guys? If the guy was cute, and he wants to pay you for something you probably would have done anyway, why not?

My boyfriend had an ex who called him up was talking to him a while ago. After about a half an hour the guy starting trying to convince my bf to stop over for a little "hanky-panky". My bf told him no way, and the guy said "What if I was to leave a 50 dollar bill on the nightstand?" My bf laughed it off and told the guy no, who then put in a bid for $100. My bf pretty much just hung up on him at that point, and then started telling me the whole story.

He was acting all disgusted that someone would offer him money for sex, then all of a sudden got a weird look in his eye and said "I wonder how high he would have gone??"

Bushdog · 06-24-2002, 05:37 PM

I didn't know DTSC was in Chicago yesterday afternoon.

Bushdog · 06-24-2002, 05:40 PM

Seriously though, I'd have been offended. I mean I take it as a compliment when a guy checks me out or compliments my looks, part of my body, etc. . . But if he ever offered me money I would assume he thought I was a cheap whore who would go against my tastes and interests and instead have sex for money.

IMHO it is an insult to you.

Giantrobo · 06-24-2002, 06:46 PM

Grunter? Is this you?

j/k

Cool Kitten · 06-25-2002, 08:20 AM

omg, i was laughing so hard when i was reading this

grunter · 06-25-2002, 08:21 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by joeblow69
You forgot to mention if the guy was cute or not! I mean, really, isn't the point of hanging out at Steamworks to have sex with hot guys? If the guy was cute, and he wants to pay you for something you probably would have done anyway, why not?

That would be a big "no."

Think James Wood gone to seed, "Mickey Rourke"-style.

So not my type.

Of course, had he been - we wouldn't even be discussing it right now.

Cool Kitten · 06-25-2002, 08:21 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Bushdog
I was a cheap whore who would go against my tastes and interests and instead have sex for money.

you mean you wouldn't?

grunter · 06-25-2002, 08:28 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Jepthah
I don't think I could handle being a gay man--assaulted with hormones and libidos as raging as my own.

Ah, but it's so very much simpler to take care of those, ah, "needs."

And with two guys in the very same, uh, "mindset" - let's just say this: fireworks - End of the World frickin' fireworks.

debbert · 06-25-2002, 09:41 AM

I would have found it to be a compliment either way. Some guys are so deperate to have sex with someone they find hot that they think they need to offer money on certain occasions.

I've never accepted money for sex but would if a marginally unattractive man approached me with it. Hell...he gets what he wants and I get to get off...AND get cash.

I'm not in a relationship and it wouldn't be any different than any one night stand I took home...other than the fact that he offered money.

To me it's no big deal.

The Pro · 06-25-2002, 09:42 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by grunter
when this man crotch-grabs me in an extraordinarily impure manner

am i reading this right. you should file charges of sexual assault. that would teach him to stay away from ye.

grunter · 06-25-2002, 09:49 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by The Pro
am i reading this right. you should file charges of sexual assault. that would teach him to stay away from ye.

Actually in the bath-house environment, that's a very common way of saying "hello." Short of using "roofies" on someone or serious physical violence, no guy at the baths is going to file charges against anyone else. We're all there for the same thing, if you know what I mean.

Verbal communication at the tubs is usually kept to a bare minimum and anyone who's chatting or gossiping or carrying on gets the grumpy stare of death, meaning: "you're-killing-my-erection-bitch-so-take-it-outside-to-the-lounge."

As the Pet Shop Boys say:

"To speak is a sin
You look first, then stare
And once in a while
A smile, if you dare"

Or in the baths - "a grope, if you dare"

Cool Kitten · 06-25-2002, 10:12 AM

i've never been offered money but my guy keep talking of pimping me out...

joltaddict · 06-25-2002, 02:27 PM

I had a guy offer me $200 to blow me once. I wasnt offended but I was baffled. I dont know if its just because Im straight but why would you pay to be on that end of the transaction?

Soup Nazi · 06-25-2002, 03:00 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by joltaddict
I had a guy offer me $200 to blow me once. I wasnt offended but I was baffled. I dont know if its just because Im straight but why would you pay to be on that end of the transaction?

It might have had something to do with your "Ranger's Do It Better" T-Shirt that you were wearing ...

Giles · 06-25-2002, 03:26 PM

I would be flattered but only if he was in turn good looking. Most of the guys at the bathhouses I've been to are really snotty and uptight, (like excuse me but why are you being picky here when you are here for sex)

grunter · 06-25-2002, 03:33 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by joltaddict
I had a guy offer me $200 to blow me once. I wasnt offended but I was baffled. I dont know if its just because Im straight but why would you pay to be on that end of the transaction?

He offered you $200?

Now I feel so cheap. How come I wasn't worth two bills, huh? How come?

Lousy bathhouse soliciting married guys anyways. They're just all so fickle and they lie, I tell you, they lie.

Oh, how they lie.

grunter pouts.

Giles · 06-25-2002, 03:36 PM

the married "straight" guys I have encountered are never cheap and quite nice, thank you,

Giantrobo · 06-25-2002, 04:43 PM

I don't know....I would be flattered. Horny Gay men don't bother me.

Giles · 06-26-2002, 05:11 AM

but grunter think of all the dvd's you could buy with 200 bucks in your pocket

Soup Nazi · 06-26-2002, 05:17 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Giles
but grunter think of all the dvd's you could buy with 200 bucks in your pocket

That is funny on so many levels ...

jim_mailman1962 · 06-26-2002, 07:09 AM

I would've done it.

ziggy · 06-26-2002, 08:57 AM

Damn lucky gay men! Why don't they make heterosexual bath-houses?

Or am I just missing out?

06-24-2002, 02:35 PM	#1
grunter DVD Talk Limited Edition Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Chicago, Illinois Posts: 6,172	So, someone offered me money for sex last night . . . Late yesterday afternoon, I was at the tubs escaping the oppressive Chicago summer heat. It's always nice to be someplace with central air on a day like yesterday (92 degrees and 80% humidity) and it's even nicer when you can stroll around that place wearing nothing but an ill-fitting towel while oggling other virtually nekkid men in various states of excitability and tumescence. If you know what I mean. So I'm making the rounds of the closet maze, checking out the half-opened doors, perusing the dark playspaces and gloryhole nooks, when this man crotch-grabs me in an extraordinarily impure manner and makes the typical awkward "look-at-me-I'm-a-clueless-married-guy-in-the-bathhouse" come-on that you've no doubt heard a million times over. (e.g. "Oh you're really hot. Do you lift weights? Wanna come back to my room?) I casually rebuffed him and continued cruising. But he persisted, asking me anything at all just to get me to keep talking to him. I non-committally answered a few of his more innocuous questions, but stopped short of giving him a real answer to the big question: "What do you like?" I just gave him a sour look and shifted my eyes away and tried to make tracks towards a more public space. In a terrible act of desperation, the guy blurts out: "Do you want some money? I've got $100." I froze. I couldn't quite believe what I'd heard. I turned around, my jaw dangling and just stared at the guy. I mean, WTF? Seriously, WTF? I didn't know whether to be insulted or amused. Did I really look like the hustler type? Now, most folks on the site know that I'm a big bear of a guy. I weigh in at around 250 lbs. I've got a flattop, a full round beard and yes, I do lift weights, thank you very much. I'm top heavy, with very broad muscular shoulders, a burly barrel-shaped chest and a solid, Shatner-esque, beer-gut. In the context of the baths, my gayness and my bear status I would think would be pretty obvious. Outside of that context on the street, because of my imposing blue-collar stature, folks have mistaken me for everything from an off-duty cop to a long haul truck driver. For someone to come up to me - me! - and offer me money to play just completely blew my mind. That takes either serious stupidity or some serious balls. I just frowned at the guy and with as much disgust in my voice as I could muster I said: "NO!" Which effectively shut him down for the moment. But every time I'd pass him in the hallway thereafter, he kept begging me to "think it over." When I related the story to my partner (who was busy in one of the closet rooms himself, BTW) on the way out, he couldn't stop laughing. I was "his big bear hoo-oar" for the rest of the evening - a fact that he took great pleasure in relating to several of our friends over the phone last night. He even offered me $10 to clear off the dining room table after dinner. (I'll get that bitch. Just you wait and see.) So I ask you. Should I have been complimented by this man's offer? Or was my instant revulsion warranted? It completely creeped me out as it was happening. But looking back, I'm wondering whether I over-reacted. __________________ "As noted crusty and ruthless and largely unpleasant former Clinton adviser James Carville observed just after the election, `The American people just don't have a clue as to what's coming.' If you are female, gay, bisexual, atheist, black, immigrant, poor, progressive, intellectual, open minded, open hearted, if you hold alternative views, dress funny, dance, enjoy sex, read seditious literature, believe in peace and funky spirituality and don't particularly care for a sneering angry self-righteous well-armed anti-everything deity, you are about to find out. The hard way. And so is everyone else." - Mark Morford, SFGate

06-24-2002, 02:47 PM	#2
Mopower DVD Talk Legend Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: The Janitor's closet in Kinnick Stadium Posts: 13,653	Were you at the White Swallow Spa? (southpark reference) Thats a little messed up. I'd feel flattered yet sicked at the same time. AND NEVER GO BACK! __________________ "You, me, bar, beers, buzzed. Wings, shots, drunk. Waitresses, hot. Football, Cornell/Hofstra, slaughter. Then quick nap at my place, and we hit the tis-own." - Andy Bernard

06-24-2002, 03:54 PM	#3
Jepthah DVD Talk Limited Edition Join Date: Jan 2000 Location: Fascination Street Posts: 6,614	That's a compliment, no matter how awkward, you can't deny facts. I don't think I could handle being a gay man--assaulted with hormones and libidos as raging as my own. __________________ "If a sufficient number of people who wanted to stop war really did gather together, they would first of all begin by making war upon those who disagreed with them. And it is still more certain that they would make war on people who also want to stop wars but in another way." -- Gurdjieff

06-24-2002, 04:28 PM	#4
joeblow69 DVD Talk Gold Edition Join Date: Jan 2000 Posts: 2,549	You forgot to mention if the guy was cute or not! I mean, really, isn't the point of hanging out at Steamworks to have sex with hot guys? If the guy was cute, and he wants to pay you for something you probably would have done anyway, why not? My boyfriend had an ex who called him up was talking to him a while ago. After about a half an hour the guy starting trying to convince my bf to stop over for a little "hanky-panky". My bf told him no way, and the guy said "What if I was to leave a 50 dollar bill on the nightstand?" My bf laughed it off and told the guy no, who then put in a bid for $100. My bf pretty much just hung up on him at that point, and then started telling me the whole story. He was acting all disgusted that someone would offer him money for sex, then all of a sudden got a weird look in his eye and said "I wonder how high he would have gone??" __________________ The revolution is my boyfriend!

06-24-2002, 05:37 PM	#5
Bushdog Senior Member Join Date: Dec 1999 Location: Shackled Posts: 35,832	I didn't know DTSC was in Chicago yesterday afternoon. __________________ This Space Reserved for When My Ennui Lifts NearysEpiphany was right.

06-24-2002, 05:40 PM	#6
Bushdog Senior Member Join Date: Dec 1999 Location: Shackled Posts: 35,832	Seriously though, I'd have been offended. I mean I take it as a compliment when a guy checks me out or compliments my looks, part of my body, etc. . . But if he ever offered me money I would assume he thought I was a cheap whore who would go against my tastes and interests and instead have sex for money. IMHO it is an insult to you. __________________ This Space Reserved for When My Ennui Lifts NearysEpiphany was right.

06-24-2002, 06:46 PM	#7
Giantrobo Senior Member Join Date: Apr 1999 Location: TORRANCE, CA Posts: 36,977	Grunter? Is this you? j/k __________________ XBOX Gamertag: Giantrobo On my 3rd 360 as of 9/27/2007 Wii: 3016 5988 8229 5603

06-25-2002, 08:20 AM	#8
Cool Kitten Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Cool As Ice Posts: 18,074	omg, i was laughing so hard when i was reading this __________________ Another cat? Perhaps. For love there is also a season; its seeds must be resown. But a family cat is not replaceable like a wornout coat or a set of tires. Each new kitten becomes its own cat, and none is repeated. I am four cats old, measuring out my life in friends that have succeeded but not replaced one another. Irving Townsend

06-25-2002, 09:41 AM	#12
debbert Senior Member Join Date: Aug 1999 Location: North Perry Village, OH Posts: 1,258	I would have found it to be a compliment either way. Some guys are so deperate to have sex with someone they find hot that they think they need to offer money on certain occasions. I've never accepted money for sex but would if a marginally unattractive man approached me with it. Hell...he gets what he wants and I get to get off...AND get cash. I'm not in a relationship and it wouldn't be any different than any one night stand I took home...other than the fact that he offered money. To me it's no big deal.

06-25-2002, 10:12 AM	#15
Cool Kitten Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Cool As Ice Posts: 18,074	i've never been offered money but my guy keep talking of pimping me out... __________________ Another cat? Perhaps. For love there is also a season; its seeds must be resown. But a family cat is not replaceable like a wornout coat or a set of tires. Each new kitten becomes its own cat, and none is repeated. I am four cats old, measuring out my life in friends that have succeeded but not replaced one another. Irving Townsend

06-25-2002, 02:27 PM	#16
joltaddict DVD Talk Legend Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: Banging your mother Posts: 19,204	I had a guy offer me $200 to blow me once. I wasnt offended but I was baffled. I dont know if its just because Im straight but why would you pay to be on that end of the transaction? __________________ Don't beat this guy up over a non-PC (though common) expression. He obviously meant no harm to the gay and lesbian community when expressing his views about Vader. - Ketamine

06-25-2002, 03:26 PM	#18
Giles DVD Talk Legend Join Date: Dec 1999 Location: Washington DC Posts: 17,750	I would be flattered but only if he was in turn good looking. Most of the guys at the bathhouses I've been to are really snotty and uptight, (like excuse me but why are you being picky here when you are here for sex) __________________ 2007 October Horror Film Challenge ~ 2007 Film List (Part 1) / 2007 Film List (Part 2) / Unrated-Alternate-Director's Cuts / 1st Annual Academy Award Movie Challenge / Concert Diary

06-25-2002, 03:36 PM	#20
Giles DVD Talk Legend Join Date: Dec 1999 Location: Washington DC Posts: 17,750	the married "straight" guys I have encountered are never cheap and quite nice, thank you, __________________ 2007 October Horror Film Challenge ~ 2007 Film List (Part 1) / 2007 Film List (Part 2) / Unrated-Alternate-Director's Cuts / 1st Annual Academy Award Movie Challenge / Concert Diary

06-25-2002, 04:43 PM	#21
Giantrobo Senior Member Join Date: Apr 1999 Location: TORRANCE, CA Posts: 36,977	I don't know....I would be flattered. Horny Gay men don't bother me. __________________ XBOX Gamertag: Giantrobo On my 3rd 360 as of 9/27/2007 Wii: 3016 5988 8229 5603

06-26-2002, 05:11 AM	#22
Giles DVD Talk Legend Join Date: Dec 1999 Location: Washington DC Posts: 17,750	but grunter think of all the dvd's you could buy with 200 bucks in your pocket __________________ 2007 October Horror Film Challenge ~ 2007 Film List (Part 1) / 2007 Film List (Part 2) / Unrated-Alternate-Director's Cuts / 1st Annual Academy Award Movie Challenge / Concert Diary

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06-26-2002, 07:09 AM	#24
jim_mailman1962 Banned Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 817	I would've done it.

06-26-2002, 08:57 AM	#25
ziggy DVD Talk Gold Edition Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: My apartment Posts: 2,733	Damn lucky gay men! Why don't they make heterosexual bath-houses? Or am I just missing out? __________________ They keep you doped with religion and sex and TV, and you think you're so clever and classless and free, but you're still ****ing peasants as far as I can see.

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So, someone offered me money for sex last night . . .

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