How would you react if your wife wanted a 3some

[sarafina]

Here's the big question, you've been with your wife for a little or a long while, and suddenly she come home one day, and tell you that she's had sexual intercourse with another girl when she was younger, and she'd like to do it again with you (in a treesome). She tells you she found the perfect woman, a girl she work out with at the gym, and she is willing to try it.

What would be your reaction ?

1) What, you never told me that? are you just trying to test me ?

2) No way, I don't want to ruin our relationship just for sex.

3) This is my biggest fantasy!! Is she available tonight ?

4) I'd like to meet her first and see if it's worth it.

5) ....


Please let me know your age, I'd like to see if age creates a variance in the answers.

I'm a female, almost 26 and willing to have a 3some. I'd like to have comments of men or women regarding this . And if you had any experience tell me. I'd love to know.

[Deftones]

As hot as having a threesome is, if I were married I'd turn it down. Throwing other people into the mix sexually, only causes problems in the long run.

[Phil L.]

Nope, no sex in trees for me.

[schlitz100]

either 2 or 4... if the 2nd girl was cool and hot and i was sure it wouldn't ruin the relationship i would be fine with it... but if i thought it'd get too weird afterwards i wouldn't risk it.

the gf and i have actually talked about this and we came up with the above conclusion as well... something for the future if we met the right girl and were in the right situation and we were both comfortable with it.

i have had one 3some but wasn't into the 2nd girl... it just sort of happened and i wasn't going to turn it down... it would be cool to do it once where i was into the other chick as well.

[Nifty03]

I'm pretty sure I would believe that she was testing me and would refuse knowing that any other answer would be very wrong, but if I happened to grow a pair I’d do it no problem, with either another woman or man (so long as he is into her and not me), I figure anything that get’s me some is ok by me.

[Mopower]

I'd tell the whore to pack her shit up and move in with her new girlfriend.

[ClemsonDevil]

I don't think I could. I have heard too many stories of those 3-somes going wrong and if your current gf/wife is your top priority, why screw up a good thing. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to go to a bar one day and pick up 2 nice girls for a 3-some... I just wouldn't if I was in a relationship. BTW: I'm 25.

[DAC]

I would be willing to bet that the majority of relationships would fail soon after. If you did go through with it, you know sooner or later your wife would turn the tables on you. She would say "Ya know honey, we had that threesome with another woman, lets try it with another man"

I would have to turn it down, unless I felt the marriage was basically over, then what the hell.

[WillieTheShakes]

Grease me up woman, I'm goin in!

[Phil L.]

Originally posted by Mopower
I'd tell the whore to pack her shit up and move in with her new girlfriend.

Pics?

[sarafina]

Originally posted by Mopower
I'd tell the whore to pack her shit up and move in with her new girlfriend.

I knew that would be a controversial subject, but I never thought that could be an answer. Could you please tell me your age. I really wonder if your a little older than the other.

I do understand guys who don't want to risk their relationship with their loved one for one night of hot sex with 2 women. But I don't see why she would become automatically a whore because she proposed to try something new in bed.

REally could you elaborate your point, I'd like to understand.

Would it be different if one of your friends (girl) proposed the same thing with another friends. Both women would be of course attractive. Or 2 girls in a bar wanting to have a man with them, would you go for it ?

What's the difference between 3some with 2 female strangers ans 3some with a wife and a friend?

[Kube]

I don't know why someone would have such a negative/ugly reaction to this.

I've done this. I'm in my early 30s and have been with the same woman for 10 years.

I don't think the best approach is to tell him everything all at once. If you tell him you found a person at the gym and she's game, it might sound like you already have something going on.

I would say to him "have you ever thought about a threesome." I wouldn't think it was a "trap". See what he says and leed him through your idea.

[Big Quasimodo]

Originally posted by Deftones, Esq
As hot as having a threesome is, if I were married I'd turn it down. Throwing other people into the mix sexually, only causes problems in the long run.

My sentiments run with Def....

To be more specific, I would be afraid that it would create visuals for my wife that would haunt her in the future (afa me and the other woman) and develop into deep problems for our relationship. Of course, this fear is specific to my relationship and my perception of my wife's psychology.

Plus, she would only participate if she were REALLY drunk, and there are rules about that sort of thing.....

Now me, I think I could deal with the visuals....

[AGuyNamedMike]

2) No way, I don't want to ruin our relationship just for sex.

I'm 37, 15 months into my second (and last) marriage. My wife feels the same way as I do. I'd recommend against it. Good luck to you.

[DAC]

Here is another thing to think about. Here you are with your wife and a *new* woman. I think it would be hard not to put more attention on the other woman and your wife might feel left out/pissed that you focused your attention on the other woman.

[sarafina]

Originally posted by DAC
Here is another thing to think about. Here you are with your wife and a *new* woman. I think it would be hard not to put more attention on the other woman and your wife might feel left out/pissed that you focused your attention on the other woman.

I think there is something I forgot to mention with my question.

What if your wife told you she was Bisexual and REALLY wanted to be with another woman and you at once. That it would be her biggest fantasy of having both a man and a woman at the same time. I know I'd love to have another woman helping me please my man. Just thinking how it would be nice giving him a blow job with another girl helping, and our 2 tongues touching each other, that really is a turn on for me...

So my point is. If your wife was really into it. Not just doing it to please you, I mean she REALLY wants it for her as well. Would you consider doing it?
(also knowing she won't turn back on you with the ...now 2 guys with me )

[schlitz100]

the fact that she hid the fact that she is bisexual AND had been with another woman previously would make me think twice about being married to this girl... but as i was thinking about it i'd might as well enjoy myself

[ANDREMIKE]

as long as there were some ground rules..
1. Like the husband can't have SI with the other woman.
2. Another man could never have SI with the wife.

I think it would be ok....

[CaptainMarvel]

Originally posted by schlitz100
the fact that she hid the fact that she is bisexual . . . would make me think twice about being married to this girl...

And if she didn't disclose the fact that she was bisexual until after you were married, that's a problem too. That's a pretty big "whoops, I forgot to tell you" to pull out of nowhere.

[sarafina]

Well my husband knows all about my past, the fact that I'm bisexual and also that I use to be a stripper to pay for university.

He's okay with my past. But he's not sure if he wants a 3some, that's why I'd like to have your opinion guys about that.

He knew my past before being with me, we were friends before...

[Big Quasimodo]

Originally posted by sarafina
Well my husband knows all about my past, the fact that I'm bisexual and also that I use to be a stripper to pay for university.

He's okay with my past. But he's not sure if he wants a 3some, that's why I'd like to have your opinion guys about that.

He knew my past before being with me, we were friends before...

The consensus opinion is that your wanting to bring another sexual partner into the relationship is troublesome and raises concerns about your commitment to your marriage. At least, that's how I read it. It may be telling that you haven't come to that conclusion yet.

In short, I understand and empathize with your husbands hesitance.

[sarafina]

Originally posted by Big Quasimodo
The consensus opinion is that your wanting to bring another sexual partner into the relationship is troublesome and raises concerns about your commitment to your marriage. At least, that's how I read it. It may be telling that you haven't come to that conclusion yet.

In short, I understand and empathize with your husbands hesitance.

I don't feel like it raises any concerns about my commitment since I would never do it without his permission. I accept his hesitance,

He's the kind of guy who does not talk about himself, so I'm trying to figure out by asking other guy what might be the reasons why he feels so bad about that.
I just want to try to understand better how he feels.

Is that bad ?

[MJKTool]

26

I would absolutely NOT.

[WillieTheShakes]

Originally posted by CaptainMarvel
And if she didn't disclose the fact that she was bisexual until after you were married, that's a problem too. That's a pretty big "whoops, I forgot to tell you" to pull out of nowhere.

See, that's where I differ, CM - to my mind, everybody's bisexual; it's a matter of circumstance, environment, etc as to when/if/how it manifests itself...

[Big Quasimodo]

Originally posted by sarafina
I don't feel like it raises any concerns about my commitment since I would never do it without his permission. I accept his hesitance,

He's the kind of guy who does not talk about himself, so I'm trying to figure out by asking other guy what might be the reasons why he feels so bad about that.
I just want to try to understand better how he feels.

Is that bad ?

Nope, not bad - good, in fact (although "getting it from the horses mouth" would be best).

But bringing up the idea that you don't feel it raises concerns about your commitment belies the emphasis your are placing on understanding his feelings.

Certainly you can appreciate that wanting to introduce another sexual partner into a marriage could be perceived by your husband as an indication that you find the current sexual relationship to be somehow less than optimal.

Again, I think the overall tone of the responses so far would indicate that we "Other Guys" are expressing fears that opening up the marriage to (an) additional sexual partner(s) could have negative consequences for which we would not risk our marriages.