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11-24-2004, 08:11 PM
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#1 |
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DVD Talk Hero
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Lighten up, Francis! (Funland)
Posts: 31,586
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Dirty joke from my innocent old Aunt BONUS:naughty thing my Grandpa said
Enjoy if you so desire:
Get your hanky ready for this one..... Good Advice From Grandpa I hope that this will once again confirm that the most important information in your life won't come from a teacher, the library or the internet, but from a mentor, and on a very personal level. My long-passed grandfather's birthday is coming up, and for me it is a time to reminisce. The long walks we used to take. The long drives. The special trips he would make to pick me up so I could spend weekends with him, and the advice he used to give! Much was wasted because I was young when he died. If he were alive today and sharing his pearls of wisdom, I'd be a better man. Those gems were well and good, but the one I remember most, the jewel in the crown of grandfatherly advice, came when I was 12. We were sitting in a park, watching children and their mothers enjoying a beautiful spring day. He told me that one day, I'd find a woman and start my own family. "And son," he said, "be sure you marry a woman with small hands." "How come, Grandpa?" I asked. "It makes your pecker look bigger." Kinda brings a tear to your eye, doesn't it?
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it really bufords my pusser. (wow, that sounds dirty!)- cultshock |
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11-24-2004, 08:11 PM
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#2 |
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DVD Talk Hero
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Lighten up, Francis! (Funland)
Posts: 31,586
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and here's your bonus:
My grandfather on the other side of the family said something funny to me once while visiting me. He was having a problem getting the seatbelt to connect and said: "Need to put some hair around it and I'll have better luck." I feel sorry for you kids today that only know totally shaved twats.
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it really bufords my pusser. (wow, that sounds dirty!)- cultshock |
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11-24-2004, 08:30 PM
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#3 |
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: Visalia, Ca., USA
Posts: 3,991
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LMAO
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11-24-2004, 08:32 PM
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#4 | |
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: Mile End
Posts: 15,055
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Quote:
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11-24-2004, 08:55 PM
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#5 |
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DVD Talk Hero
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Lighten up, Francis! (Funland)
Posts: 31,586
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 That was my editorial input.
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it really bufords my pusser. (wow, that sounds dirty!)- cultshock |
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11-24-2004, 08:56 PM
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#6 |
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: Mile End
Posts: 15,055
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Damn it! I was imagining an elderly man, fumbling with his seatbelt, saying that to a young Buford as he sat wide-eyed in the back of the car, toy camera in hand.
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11-24-2004, 08:57 PM
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#7 |
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DVD Talk Hero
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Lighten up, Francis! (Funland)
Posts: 31,586
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HA! I was 22 at the time.
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it really bufords my pusser. (wow, that sounds dirty!)- cultshock |
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11-24-2004, 08:59 PM
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#8 |
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: Mile End
Posts: 15,055
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Now I'm imagining a 22-year old Buford, still wide-eyed, sitting in the back of the car with a big plastic toy camera.  |
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11-24-2004, 09:09 PM
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#9 |
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Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Orlando
Posts: 8,134
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Still waiting on the dirty joke from the old innocent Aunt.
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11-24-2004, 09:15 PM
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#10 |
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DVD Talk Limited Edition
Join Date: Nov 2000
Posts: 7,326
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Old people are the coolest.
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Thanks (sincerely) to Michael Moore, Bruce Springsteen and P. Diddy for helping to re-elect George W. Bush to 4 more years in the White House. |
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11-24-2004, 09:18 PM
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#11 | |
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DVD Talk Limited Edition
Join Date: Sep 1999
Posts: 6,194
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Quote:
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11-24-2004, 09:45 PM
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#12 | |
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Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2000
Location: somewhere in between
Posts: 4,634
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Quote:
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for i am costanza, lord of the idiots! |
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11-24-2004, 09:46 PM
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#13 |
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: Mile End
Posts: 15,055
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I think his real aunt sent him the first joke.
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11-24-2004, 10:00 PM
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#14 |
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DVD Talk Hero
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Lighten up, Francis! (Funland)
Posts: 31,586
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Supr is correct. It was the first one about the pecker and tear in the eye.
__________________
it really bufords my pusser. (wow, that sounds dirty!)- cultshock |
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11-24-2004, 10:04 PM
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#15 |
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Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2000
Location: somewhere in between
Posts: 4,634
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i feel like such a fool. i feel better about this situation though.
 good work sheriff.
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for i am costanza, lord of the idiots! |
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11-25-2004, 12:15 AM
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#16 | |
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: California
Posts: 864
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Quote:
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03-28-2011, 07:47 PM
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#17 |
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Junior Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 10
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that was pretty funny.
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04-09-2011, 10:59 AM
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#18 |
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Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Hollyweed, California
Posts: 37
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Very funny, thanks for the share.
Older people say the darndest stuff.  |
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04-22-2011, 11:01 AM
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#19 |
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Banned
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 6
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Hottttttttttttt
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