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Ron Jeremy On The Loose: San Francisco

Studio: Metro » Review by The Mooninite » Review Date: 4/1/04

XCritic's Advice: Recommended

The Movie

God bless The Hedgehog. The hardest working man in porn, Ron Jeremy is a literal living legend in the adult film world. It doesn't matter that he's a hairy out of shape dude, he's got a great sense of humor about himself and what he does and seems to truly love his work. This compilation, directed by Ron himself, follows him around the streets of San Francisco (hence the title) as he finds himself either involved in or witnessing some pretty nifty sex.

Scene 1 After introducing us to such San Fran landmarks as Alcatraz and taking a peek at the cable cars, he signs some autographs for a tattooed punk rocker and his Betty Page looking girlfriend (who, I might add, is totally hot). He invites them up to his room and they start making out as he sits there and 'plays with his schmeckel.' The two get down to business and despite Ron's best efforts, he remains only a spectator in this scene which starts with some oral, and ends with some hefty anal penetration. Dirty punk rock girls are hot.

Scene 2 When the punkers finish up, Ron heads back to the street to talk to the people. Once he does that for a few minutes, he finds himself in Chinatown. He heads into an electronics shop there and picks up the cute Asian girl behind the counter. What happens next? Well, surprise, surprise, Ron puts his moves on her and then end up in bed. She sucks him, he sticks it in her for a bit, and then goops on her face.

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Scene 3 This scene starts off with Ron belching in tune to some classical music. No, seriously, it does. Once he's done that, we get some more footage of Ron running around the city, playing tour guide. After he teaches us about sailboats, he meets a big bald dude and his cute blonde girlfriend who invite him back to his place. Once he's there he tells them that they should be in his movie and they of course oblige. He watches as the pair put on quite an enthusiastic show for him. The camera occasionally cuts away to Ron making a creepy face but the sex is hot and they are obviously quite enjoying themselves. It all ends with a bang as the bald guy teaches his lady the fine art of bukake.

Scene 4 Ron's back on the street checking out an antique shop. He may be a porn star but he's got an appreciation of the finer things, especially when the finer things include a pair of hot Asian lesbians who run easily convinces to head back to his hotel room for a little lesbian fun. These girls get pretty aggressive leaving no orifice unused and they get pretty loud at times. But hey, they're having a good time. Unfortunately, Ron doesn't seem to be and when the camera cuts away to him, instead of playing with his schmeckel like he was in the first scene, he's sleeping. Let's cut him some slack though, he is getting older.

Scene 5 Here Ron wakes up from a nap on a weird purple couch. A blonde lady with giant hooters walks into the room followed by a petite brunette and a goofy looking guy. The clothes come off, an orgy ensues as Ron taps the blonde and the goofy guy gets the much prettier brunette. I guess Ron likes'em with giant boobies, cause the wraps those melons around his pocket monster and shows him a good time while the brunette plays the skin flute on the goofy guy in the background. Of course it's not too long before the penetration anxiety kicks in and the two dudes are pounding away at their ladies friends, and thus ends Ron's trip to San Francicso.


If I had to guess, which I do, I'd say that this bad boy was shot on digital video. The whole presentation is very clean without much to complain about. Compression is minimal and although there are some moments where the lighting is poor, the picture quality is pretty solid on this release.


The Dolby Digital 2.0 mix sounds just fine. I'd say it was probably recorded with the microphone in the video camera but overall there aren't any problems listening in on the oohs and ahs during the sex scenes or to Ron's commentary in between fuck scenes.


Instant Pop Shot allows you to hit the money shot on any scene you want simply by selecting it from your menu. A photo gallery is also included on the disc and it's more or less a selection of screen grabs from the menu. Scene selection is included, as is a weblink and a few ads for phone sex. Finally, there are trailers included for Dirrty (yes it really is spelled that way), Ho SmASShin', and a weird looking film called Fetish Whores which looks like it has a lot of double penetration in it.

Final Thoughts:

If you're not down with Ron Jeremy, than you're no friend of mine. The guys been doing this forever and you've got to respect someone who is still going strong even after all these years. Recommended.

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