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Ass Brand New

Studio: Other » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 4/18/04

XCritic's Advice: Recommended

Ass Brand New


Genre: Anal

Director: Pat Myne

Cast: Trinity, Joey Ray, Nautica Binz, Justin Slayer, Karina, Jon Dough, Elizabeth Lawrence, Dave Hardman, Satine Diamond, Chris Mountain

Length: 108.5 minutes

Date of Production: 8/10/1997 through 11/19/2000 (box), 6/6/2003 through 6/10/2003 (credits)

Extra's: 18 minutes of Behind the Scenes footage by Alex Stillwell, trailers, photogallery, cumshot recap, paper catalog, cardboard DVD slip cover, spam

Condoms: None

Audio/Video Quality: The picture was presented in the industry standard 1.33:1 full frame color, as originally shot. While there was some grain, it was minimal and the same held true for the video noise. The lighting wasn't perfect but it was pretty well done and the picture reflected that fact. The audio was presented in stereo English and while the mix varied a bit, the moans and groans were easily hear once the action started. Overall, the technical qualities were well done.

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Body of Review: The porn industry has evolved over the years to the point where once a performer doesn't want to work in front of the camera, they can make the transition to directing, writing, or other sorts of work. This has occurred in many circumstances, belying the frequent criticism by some that the industry treats people as disposable cogs in an endless wheel. If a person can add value to the end product in some form or fashion, he or she will always have a place in the industry. One such case is the guy that so many fans have seen for years, Pat Myne. His looks were plain and his abilities pretty solid but even with one of the most beautiful wives in the industry (Stormy, a major hotty working at Wicked Pictures), he wanted more. Metro, the company that has had its share of ups and downs over the years, gave him that chance and with hits like Ass Slaves and Terrible Teens under his belt, the man has proven his skill with the camera. He doesn't waste time and energy with features, preferring to simply cut to the chase and provide really hardcore gonzo with an anal theme in most cases. I haven't seen all his work of late (my loss) but his latest effort, Ass Brand New, seems to be yet another notch on his belt of success. If you enjoy ass-related gonzo porn, this is one you might want to take a closer look at. Here's a breakdown of the scenes by cast:

Scene One: Trinity, a gal with sweet curves and a great mouth, started off this one by wearing the standard body stocking and prancing around while Joey watched her. She gave him a splendid blowjob that had my own nuts aching for a bit of what she had to offer and they teased one another with his cock as she continued to do some great oral. Her lean body and high-contrast pink anal plug looked good riding in his lap, although when she pulled it out to suck on it (the anal plug that is), it was a bit extreme for my tastes. After some more vaginal sex, he got a lot of her ass, filling it quite nicely with his enlargened member. They switched positions several times and this allowed her several opportunities to get some ATM action (again, ewww) before he fed her a pop shot in the mouth.

Scene Two: Nautica, a lean Black gal with a style all her own, started off the scene by wearing a crop top and white undies. I didn't like this outfit nearly as much as the last one but admit that her sweet ass was very shapely as she climbed the stairs on all fours. She played with an anal plug, initially sucking it for lubrication before placing it deep inside her body. She then crawled over to Justin, who was sitting on a couch, and serviced him orally. While her oral was not nearly as perfect as Trinity's was, it was still pretty solid and she handled most of his meat like a champion. He porked her pussy and had her suck on the anal plug a few times before eventually going to her ass. He spent a lot of time in her butt and gave her some ATM breaks as he blabbed throughout the scene (I want to hear the gal, not the guy). He sucked her toes a bit and choked her a little before leaving a large deposit of semen on her face.

Scene Three: Karina, a lean blonde with less ass than the last two performers but a cute face to make up for it, took care of Jon after a very brief crawling scene. I liked her fishnet top and formfitting underwear but again, I liked the fishnets from the front DVD cover more (it's a quirk of mine). She inhaled his cock as though it were her lifeline of oxygen and the results were that he nearly lost his load very early in the scene. She rode him hard and wet, stopping for PTM breaks and he spanked her to keep her happy as she moaned aloud. She tried to keep talking as the action took place but I think she got into the heat of the moment and lost track of what she had to say. The anal action came next and that really got her cooking as she took his meaty penis in deep inside her. ATM fans won't be disappointed here either as she did a whole lot of it. Admittedly, her gape's hang time was not all that long but the pop shot to her ass and post coital sucking will make up for it amongst you perverts. (It was bizarre how he laughed at the "cereal bowl" look of her cum filled ass.)

Scene Four: Elizabeth, a gal with long, reddish hair and a moderate sized booty, crawled across the floor with a butt plug stuck in her ass and a bit more common outfit (fluffy undies and a white top). Her partner was Dave, a guy that has made a lot of movies posing as an average schmoe, with his average sized penis. They screwed around in similar fashion to the others but the heat index dropped a few notches for me. Her oral seemed forced and the straight sex seemed mechanical at best. I'm sure she's made better scenes than this and to be fair, she did seem to do a bit better with the anal sex than vaginal, but again, it was somewhat of a filler scene for me. After hearing the same "Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh my arse." A few dozen times, I was ready to read the sports page of the local newspaper. She did some ATM as well and sucked out his load for a big facial but she didn't swallow, didn't seem to appreciate the semen, and made me wonder why I bothered watching it at all.

Scene Five: Satine, the gal in the awesome body stocking on the front DVD cover, was the last, but not least, of the performers here. She spent a bit more time playing with herself as Pat coaxed her and the ATM with her anal plug took place very soon into the scene. Rather than wait for her stud, Chris, she took it upon herself to warm up the ass with most of her hand in there. Once he did arrive, she sucked him off fairly well and then he boned her loose ass pretty rapidly. They spent a lot of time with anal sex and while she was not the best looking gal of the pack, she was nearly as talented sexually as the best ones here.

Summary: Ass Brand New is one of those movies that you will either love, or hate, depending on your taste for anal-related antics on screen. The cast here was solid in terms of sexual talent and the technical qualities were well done with some decent extras to add value for fans. I'm going to rate this one as Recommended but fans of the circus act stuff will like it at least as much as the latest offerings by other gonzo companies (and probably more). Check it out if this is your style of sex, keeping in mind that it's pretty extreme stuff.

Note: You can see recent candid shots of several of these performers by visiting: My Photo's and read about their antics at 2004 AEE Show.

You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon

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