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Hannah Harper & Friends

Studio: New Machine » Review by Chris Knight » Review Date: 5/15/04

XCritic's Advice: Watch It Online

Genre: Compilation

Director: Various

Cast: Hannah Harper, Kitty, Timea, Felecia, Suzi Suzuki, Taylor Moore, Pandora Rye, Kristina Black, Jeannie Rivers, Jordan McKnight, Ed Powers

Length: 2 hours, 59 minutes

Production Date: March 2004

Extras: Photo gallery, Trailers, Animated Scene Selection Menu

Not much to talk about here. The photo gallery features 18 high-quality behind-the-scene stills from the included scenes, while the trailers include four 1:30 previews for Randy West films and five :40 trailers for the Hardline series. The Scene Selection Menu (known as Choose Your Girl) lists each scene by the featured girl, and includes a decent animated preview of the scene.

Audio/Video: Due to the very amateur style of the source materials, the audio quality varies widely throughout the 12 scenes in this compilation. While the first few scenes are outstanding, capturing every sound in moist detail (most likely due to their more recent production dates), the later scenes see drops in quality. One scene (No. three) is even drowned out by external noise, rendering the scene quite cold. Only one scene included music (No. six), maintaining the "home-made" aesthetic. Just as the audio varies, the video does as well. Some scenes have light saturation issues, while others are too dark to tell if it's an anal or vaginal scene. Shot nearly entirely with handheld cameras, the video is very shaky at times, and disturbing at others (see No. 3). Think Tommy and Pamela Lee's honeymoon videos.

Body of Review: In a world where reality TV is king, a DVD like this one should rule the roost. Production values are nil, the girls are pretty, yet real looking (including ass pimples) and the sex is raw and uncut. Unfortunately, I hate reality TV, so at many points during this compilation I had to fight off the temptation to push that fast-forward button. A man can only watch the cowgirl position from the same angle for so long. I need variety.

The other problem I had here was the guys. They aren't credited, though I thought I recognized a few of them, namely Ed Powers. Anyone who doesn't know who Ed Powers is, is probably better off than the rest of us. Looking like he stepped out of a sci-fi convention, this guy is the epitome of "creepy uncle." It was uncomfortable watching him give it to these young girls, and even worse when he started talking. Read on to find out more about the man that makes Ron Jeremy look studly and the girls that fell victim to him.

Note: The box art says four hours, but the disc checks in at just under three.

Scene 1: Hannah Harper (Up & Cummers 98)
Acts Included: Fingering, Oral (M/F), Vaginal, Masturbation
Positions: Missionary, Cowgirl, Doggie, Side-Entry
Condoms: None
Hannah Harper has a nice future in the biz if she can find the right partner. Mr. Wonderful (uncredited here) is not the one. Her bed buddy here is old enough to be her father, and he has the gut and white forearm hair to prove. Try and ignore him, if you can. The scene starts with Hannah fingering herself, before the guy climbs on and we get a nice behind-the-ball view of the action. Hannah looks right into the camera, giving you the feeling like you're in the room watching. This definitely increases the heat. She provides some passionate liplubing to his cock, while he tries to catch his breath. She climbs on top this time, and he just lays there and she grinds him. Once his second dose of viagra kicks in, he takes her doggie-style, and drives her home for an interminable length of time, from the same viewpoint. Any heat is now gone, thanks to the repetition. Getting her back down, he rims her and enters her pussy from the side, until he cums on her asshole. Would have been much better with a younger guy.

Scene 2: Hannah Harper (Up & Cummers 99)
Acts Included: Oral (M), Vaginal, Fingering, Masturbation
Positions: Reverse Cowgirl, Spoon, Facial
Condoms: None
Ready for some deja vu? When I said that the previous scene would be better with a younger man, apparently the producers agreed, providing that option here in scene two. It's much of the same, but with a more appropriate partner. Result? Heat and plenty of it. Hannah's more into it, this time opening things by stripping her lover and blowing him on her knees. Once he's ready, and she's lubed by his fingering, she hops on top for some reverse riding. After a bit of this, they roll to the side for some spooning, at approximately the speed of light. The movement of his hips threatens to break Hannah in half, and her reactions seem genuine. Moving into doggie position, they keep at it, until he sprays her face with a liberal coating. Oddly, the scene ends with her dressed, inexplicably, and then undressing to take a short shower. Rather anti- (and reversely) climatic.

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Scene 3: Hannah Harper, Ed Powers (Dirty Debs 195)
Acts Included: Oral (M), Vaginal
Positions: Doggie, Cowgirl, Ankles on Shoulders, Facial
Condoms: None
OK... I don't like Ed Powers, and I doubt he cares about that. After all, despite looking like every comic book shop owner ever, he gets to nail some downright good-looking women, including Ms. Harper here. The scene starts with some distracting noise (lawnmower? airplane? industrial-strength vibrator?) as she blows him in a claustrophobic shot filmed by Mr. Powers with a handheld camera held at about his belly-button. Tommy Lee, he is not. The scene changes to him laying back, paying more attention to his camera than the girl sucking his dick. A few quick moves follow, including some doggie-style, cowgirl and first-person missionary. You can catch Hannah watching herself on one of the several TVs in the room, which makes her get hotter, an impressive feat. A multiangle logo appears, likely a remnant from the original, but useless here, before he pops his cork on her face. At this point, this is as close to seeing Drew Barrymore in porn as you'll ever get. The resemblance is uncanny. But as you watch, mute the TV. Power's scary-ass ramblings make for some serious dick-shriveling.

Scene 4: Kristina Black, Ed Powers (Real Naturals 5)
Acts Included: Lesbian Fingering, Lesbian Oral, Oral, Vaginal, Three-Way, Facial
Positions: Missionary, Cowgirl, Chain
Condoms: None
The first of two lesbian scenes on this disc is a real snorer for the first half, as Kristina and her finger-friend share some of the laziest, least exciting oral ever committed to video. The biggest problem here is (surprise) Ed Powers, who injects himself as director. He delivers instructions to the girls on camera, eliminating any chance for any genuine passion to grow. The scene improved when a muscular young man intercedes, getting Kristina into some missionary lovin'. Here, the audio becomes muffled, and the video becomes blurry, and the scene is only saved by a three-way in which Kristina takes it from behind while muffdiving her girlfriend to sleep.

Scene 5: Jeannie Rivers, Ed Powers (Dirty Debs 134)
Acts Included: Oral (M), Fingering, Vaginal, Facial
Positions: Spoon, Reverse Cowgirl, Frog, Doggie, Missionary
Condoms: Yes
Whether or not Hannah tolerated Ed in their scene, she never let it show, delivering an enthusiastic performance. Jeannie isn't quite as good. While she blows him, he lays back on a bed husband, watching himself on TV. A blonde with a nice tan, she looks so out of place riding him that it seems almost wrong. When he kisses her, it reaches another level, as she looks generally confused as to what to do. Reverse cowgirl, doggie-style and some unconvincing missionary follow, before he unloads in her mouth. Her last words? The less-than-impressive "It was OK for me."

Scene 6: Felecia (America's 10 Most Wanted 3)
Acts Included: Lesbian Oral, Toy Play
Positions: N/A
Condoms: N/A
Kristina's girlfriend returns to excite Felecia, eating her out from behind on a pool table, in the most professional of the 12 scenes, complete with cheesy porno music. After getting wet with some rimming, the pair retire to the couch, where Felecia gets a nice-sized green dildo up her pussy, before sliding a big black vibe into her playpal.

Scene 7: Pandora Rye (Up & Cummers 36)
Acts Included: Three-way, Oral, Vaginal, DP, Anal, Facial
Positions: Cowgirl, DP, Doggie-Style
Condoms: None
The most active scene on this disc is this blast from the past, which features the somewhat leathery Pandora. A pair of unnamed guys (one white, one black) start off in a fingercuff, with the black guy in back. He's very vocal, which makes for some annoying sex. She takes him in her mouth before getting on top of his rod, and then gets the other guy in her ass for some old-fashioned double penetration. After he finishes in her butt, the black dude wants a go, but she is concerned he may be too big. The other guy's response? "Try it...if it doesn't work, it doesn't work." Wisdom of the ages. He slides in and it's obvious she is not enjoying herself, but he keeps going and finishes on her face. Retro cool: She's wearing L.A. Gear sneakers the whole time. Obviously "Rollergirl's" inspiration.

Scene 8: Jordan McKnight (Up & Cummers 18)
Acts Included: Vaginal, Masturbation
Positions: Missionary, Doggie
Condoms: None
In another scene from yesteryear, Jordan McKnight starts off by watching a her friends go at it missionary-style, while she fingers herself. But it isn't long before he moves over and goes for her, taking her from behind. Her curly hair bounces wildy as he lays into her. He switches off again, going doggy with his other girl, while fingering Jordan rapidly. The duo satisfy their man by hand, giving him the two-fister, helping him off as he lays back happily.

Scene 9: Kitty (Up & Cummers 1)
Acts Included: Masturbation
Positions: N/A
Condoms: N/A
Kitty's very into her kitty, but there's not much to see here, despite the depths her two fingers explore.

Scene 10: Taylor Moore (Up & Cummers 4)
Acts Included: Vaginal, Oral (F/M)
Positions: Cowgirl, Reverse Cowgirl, Missionary
Condoms: None
While Taylor and her man are solid sexually, the cameraman felt the scene needed more. Specifically more of him. For some unknown reason, several times during the action, the camera wanders to a large mirror to showcase the man behind the magic. The duo is very active and Taylor is an aggressive girl, gritting her teeth as she gives her all. Her partner is something of a reject from American Gladiators, with his Fabio-esque hair, but it's not too much of a problem. The highlight here is her blowjob, where she builds up a slick slurping, before accepting him in deep for an internal money shot.

Scene 11: Suzi Suzuki (Raw Sex)
Acts Included: Oral, Vaginal, Masturbation (M), Facial
Positions: Doggie
Condoms: None
Here's an odd one. The scene starts off right with Suzi blowing the unnamed fellow outside, before he plows into her on a deckchair in an inspired round of rear-mounting. But after a short while, the two get up and run inside, where he lays her down and talks to her as he jerks off, before shooting his cum on her. And that's it. Odd indeed.

Scene 12: Timea, Ed Powers (Global Warming 3)
Acts Included: Oral (M), Vaginal
Positions: Cowgirl, Missionary, Doggie, Facial
Condoms: None
The final scene () had Ed Powers soiling young Timea as dogs bark in the distance. The real star here is the pimp bed they're on, including the radio/mirror headboard. Other than that, Timea is a sweet, young thing who seems hungry for cock, delivering some tempting oral to Powers, before climbing aboard for a crouching flower, hidden penis technique. This goes on for quite a while, until either she gets a cramp or they run out of tape. The lovers swap to missionary position, with Timea's legs pinned wide to her sides. A bit from behind primes Ed to launch his load, landing on her lovely face and cute, round tits.

Concluding Words: If you like your sex raw and amateur, you could do worse than this DVD. Hannah Harper is an excellent starlet, and having three scenes of her didn't hurt. As the material included ages though, your interest may wane. Considering there are scenes from both Up and Cummers 99 and Up and Cummers 1, this disc covers an entire era of adult movies. You're not likely to recognize many of the girls here, and you'll want to ignore the creepy guys, but it's an interesting trip through hardcore history.

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