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Nasty As I Wanna Be

Studio: Vivid » Review by Chris Knight » Review Date: 5/22/04

XCritic's Advice: Watch On Demand

Genre: Compilation

Director: Toni English, Ralpha Parfait, Judy Blue. Paul Thomas, Michael Zen. Robby D.

Cast: Chasey Lain, Jeanna Fine, TJ Hart, Missy, Tony Tedeschi, Niki Talon, Colt Steele, Asia Carrera, Ruby, Heather Hunter, Peter North, Nick East, Tom Byron, Venus, Monica Sweetheart

Length: 1:38

Production Date: Various (1995-2001)

Extras: Behind the Scenes, Bonus Room, Photo Gallery, Previews, More Adult Fun, The Web

Who do they think they're fooling with these More Adult Fun and The Web "Extras"? They're ads, nothing more. Once you ignore those, you can get into the Behind the Scenes feature on Chloe's Pool Party. Director Paul Thomas explains that he hated the script he had to shoot this day, so he tossed it and is going to have his cast improvise. His meditations on porn philsophy aside, this footage shows exactly why porno people shouldn't be allowed to ad lib. This feature has no connection to the DVD theme (unlike similar Vivid discs), likely a result of Chasey Lain being with another studio.

Up next after that is the Bonus Room, with three clips. Jade Princess shows Renee LaRue receiving the attention of two men, in a bachelor party three-way including a lot of oral, some finger fucking and two healthy cork pops. In Raven, three's a crowd again, as Logan Labrent takes on a pair of pussy pumpers, getting filled from both ends before getting her tits coated. Raylene's got a man sandwich of her own in Couchtails, with one cock in her mouth and one between her other lips. After a short session, she too gets a protein punch.

The animated slide show that makes up the Photo Gallery just seems pointless. If you want to see Chasey, why not watch a scene? After that, the Previews hype Natural Wonders, One Way Out, Portrait of a Sunrise and the aforementioned Chloe's Pool Party for 8:24.

Audio/Video: Since this DVD is a compilation that goes as far back as 1995, and is only as recent as 2001, the quality of the audio and video here isn't quite up to the level of similar Vivid offerings. The newer scenes fare the best, with good clarity, color and light. The older scenes have substantial grain, looking like nothing better than a VHS copy. The audio is similarly "aged," and noticably so in some scenes.

Review: It's all about the eyes when you talk about Chasey Lain. She's been called the most beautiful girl in porn, and it would be hard to find anyone who tops her. At worst, it would be a tie. Her blue-green eyes transfix you, whether they're looking up from a blowjob or down from the cowgirl. Unfortunately, it's been a while since she made a film for Vivid, so this compilation features some "classic" moments. Also disappointing (at least for me) is the amount of hard fucking, as Chasey did more lesbian porn than straight sex. Thankfully, she's one of those gorgrous girls that look sexy doing nothing, so just being able to watch her be naked is plenty enjoyable. On to the sex:

Scene 1: Chasey Lain, Jeanna Fine (Chasey Loves Rocco)
Acts Included: Oral
Positions: N/A
Condoms: N/A
This pair of porn legends get together in bed and the action kicks off immediately, with the dynamic duo taking turns taking a taste of each other. A swap meet ensues, as they go back and forth in a variety of lipsmacking positions, until Jeanna's finally able to flip Chasey's switch with her tongue buried between her thighs. Two quality performers make this scene, which would otherwise be mediocre, work. Subtract a star if you dislike lesbian porn.

Scene 2: Chasey Lain, TJ Hart (Chasin' Pink 4)
Acts Included: Oral
Positions: N/A
Condoms: N/A
There's not a pussy out there that Chasey Lain can't lick. TJ Hart welcomes the challenge, but falls like everyone before her, as Chasey's talented tongue penetrates her stick spots, as she spread her slot all over Chasey's face. A dildo is introduced about halfway through this music-less scene, just as the pair let their fingers do the walking right up to Club Uterus. In the end though, there's no satisfying orgasm, and because it's two girls, no cum shot. The two girls just start cuddling. Lame way to cap a boring scene.

-- sponsored by --

Scene 3: Chasey Lain, Tony Tedeschi, Missy (Chasey Saves the World)
Acts Included: Masturbation, Oral, Facial
Positions: N/A
Condoms: No
I'd argue this is the hottest scene on this disc, and that's despite the fact that no one gets fucked. Tony is watching through the window as Chasey thoroughly pleasures herself with a vibrator. Tony's not alone though, as Missy sucks him off from below the window. The heat Chasey creates in this solo show is amazing, as her beautful body writhes like a snake during her exploration of her inner depths. Not even close to Chasey's level, Missy had no chance of keeping Tony's attention if she brought a gang of midgets and a circus clown. The combination of the blowjob and Chasey's peep show is finally too much for Tony, as he belts Missy in the eye with his load.The only bad thing here is the overly dramatic music. It could have been heavily toned down, so as to be less distracting. This is porn, not a cop show.

Scene 4: Chasey Lain, Niki Talon (Chasin' Pink 5)
Acts Included: Oral, Masturbation
Positions: N/A
Condoms: N/A
Quick note: seeing a woman's ribs is not very sexy. Get Niki a sandwich. Anyway... this leztastic 12-minute throwdown is one of those nonlinear "glamour" scenes that is focused less on the sex and more on making the girls look good. Both girls go down and do a bit of diddling, but there's no continuous activity, until the end, when Chasey uses her fingers to slip-n-slide herself to orgasm. At least, I think she came. Unfortunately, the music is the main track ao there's no sound of the girls. No heavy breathing, no moaning, no squishing and no screaming orgasm. I guess it serves a purpose though, reminding us who have hearing, how lucky we are. A Public Service Porn. How novel.

Scene 5: Chasey Lain, Colt Steele (Hawaii)
Acts Included: Oral, Vaginal
Positions: Missionary
Condoms: Yes
On a secluded beach hideaway, Chasey and Colt let passion take over, and soon they're filling their cracks with sand and her pussy with cock. They start off with the traditional oral give and take. Chasey gives one of the best blowjobs in the business, and it's not because of her technique. She could be gnawing at his bone, but as long as she looks up with those eyes, life is good. After he lubes her up, the good stuff starts up. Colt gets on top and lays pipe slow and hard, and again from behind. Like the previous scene, the music track dominates the sex sounds, though not as entirely as No. 4. Colt doesn't move a whole lot when he fucks, forcing Chasey to take the lead, bouncing back to get her tits going and her hair whipping. The increased motion of her ocean finished Colt off, and he finishes on Chasey's ass.

Scene 6: Chasey Lain, Asia Carrera, Ruby, Heather Hunter (Chasin' Pink 2: Creepshow)
Acts Included: Oral. Daisy Chain
Positions: N/A
Condoms: N/A
Why this movie was subtitled "Creepshow", I really don't want to know. This four-girl clusterlick looks like a great game of Naked Twister as the girls attempt to stay on the blanket they've laid out for this outdoor mini-orgy. The wholesale pussy-eating here is hot, but too often, because the scene takes place at night, outdoors, the action is hard to see. Watching what's going on, it seems there was no script here, especially when Chasey sees an available slit and dives to put her face in it. They're having a good time, but unfortunately, because of that, they laught, alot, which doesn't help the heat level. The horror-movie dialogue to end the scene didn't help either. The music situation is 180-degrees opposite of the problems in the last two scenes, as the backing track is barely audible compared to the slurping going on. A definite positive when you're focusing on muff diving.

Scene 7: Chasey Lain, Peter North (The House on Chasey Lain)
Acts Included: Oral, Vaginal
Positions: Doggie, Missionary
Condoms: Yes
The horror theme continues as North's skeleton mask scares Chasey's pussy to life. To make sure, he gets down to work earing her out. Chasey doesn't want him to feel neglected though, and primes his pump with a combo hand-/blowjob. Ready for action, he spins her around and plows her from behind, driving her into the bed with his hard thrusting. North is like a piston, the way he works his hips into her. There's plenty of moaning to go with the hymns being sung on the soundtrack (why?), and they keep it up while shifting into missionary. A plentiful producer when it comes to the white stuff, North signals the end by firing a volley onto her tits and stomach.

Scene 8: Chasey Lain, Nick East (White Wedding)
Acts Included: Oral, Vaginal, Facial
Positions: Missionary, Cowgirl, Doggie
Love at sea is the theme here, as Nick makes a wet mess of Chasey's pussy in a boat. He's not down their long before he's sliding inside her, from above and below. We get a nice view of Chasey's beautiful breasts as she rides him, and then again as they bounce from their doggie-style fucking. Chasey's trademark eyes come into play as she looks back at the man inside her, which is just too much for Nick, as he cums soon after, mostly on her neck. I'm sure this never happened to him before.

Scene 9: Chasey Lain, Tom Byron (The Nice, The Naughty and the Bad)
Acts Included: Oral
Positions: N/A
Condoms: N/A
In what seems to be a bar, Chasey tells Tom she gives "world-class head." Well you can't make that kind of statement and not back it up. So she does what any self-respective girl does and drops to her knees, swallowing him down. Her welcoming mouth slides up and down his pole, paying special attention to the head, gobbling his knob with gusto. He doesn't last long with her eyes on him, and just as quick as it began, it's over, as he comes on her tits. A quick scene, but if you're in the mood for a blowjob, it doesn't waste any time.

Scene 10: Chasey Lain, Venus, Monica Sweetheart (Chasin' Pink 6)
Acts Included: Fingering, Oral
Positions: N/A
Condoms: N/A
Another lesbian glamour shoot. I can't really think of many guys that would be into these scenes. The gimmicky editing, which follows the rythym of the music, seems to be an attempt to cover up the fact that not much happens here. The girls get into some finger fun, with Chasey at the center of attention, getting fingered by her pals and, in turn, fingering them, with some licks thrown in for good measure. Two fingers seems to be the special of the day, though Chasey eventually goes to a full four on both girls, as they stand on either side of the seated Chasey. But as is the case usually with these glamour scenes, the music takes over, and so we hear nothing of the girls' supposed orgasms. A downer of an ending.

Concluding Words: While this disc has way more sapphic content that I would choose to watch, personally, the fact that it's Chasey Lain's lips down by those hips, makes this an enjoyable comp. After all, watching her master her domain with a golden vibrator is hotter than 80-percent of the guy-girl hook-ups out there. The downside are the two glamour scenes and a couple of very quick clips. But if you're looking for a DVD of sex with a girl who's too good looking to be doing this, ANAIWTB: Chasey is your best bet. Add a star if you are into girl-on-girl flicks.

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