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I Love Lesbians

Studio: New Machine » Review by Disco Dirge » Review Date: 5/29/04

XCritic's Advice: Highly Recommended

GENRE: Lesbian Compilation
STARS: Jenna Jameson, Leena, Christina Angel, Crystal Knight, Felicia, Misty Rain, Rosie Lee
LENGTH: 135 mins with bonus material

If you ask most men what they like best about pornography, the hands down the pants response would probably be red hot pussy licking lesbianism. Indeed, the minute it was discovered that the movie camera could record carnality, the Sappho sisterhood has had starring roles in several examples of stag cinema. Gal-on-gal grinding is often referred to as the ultimate male fantasy, but with the wealth of womanly wombating available in our current drowning in digital marketplace, it's sometimes hard to see why. Oh sure, you can argue all the psychological issues you want and champion a guy's opportunity to secretly see what really makes a lady unload, but the truth be told, most modern lesbianism is just plain...boring. There, it's been said, it's out in the open, everyone can take a deep breath and relax. In our ADD inspired society where nothing, not even a bout of bawdy bush burnishing, can last more than a couple of minutes, your typical adult title will toss in some she-she shenanigans and never give much of a thought as to whether it's stimulating or not. Just like the automatic reverse cowgirl-doggy dynamic that seems to flood every straight screen fuck, lady lovers must kiss, fondle, suck, lick, finger, toss, taste and tongue each other before faking satisfaction. They don't have time to develop passion or personal power since the next jump cut or 12" toy is just around the corner. Gotta keep it moving, never let the camera linger. That is why Randy West's 1994 compilation I Love Lesbians is so female fucking great. At two hours and fifteen minutes, there are only four...that's right FOUR scenes to consider. But what is obvious from the first set up is that this is same sex screwing at its most natural and nasty. The gals really get it on for the camcorder. And, lucky us, we are witness to every exciting, erotic exploratory moment.

The DVD:
I Love Lesbians is a standard compilation of four scenes hosted by famed porn star and filmmaker Randy West. Looking like an overly groomed lumberjack, Randy sits in a studio surrounded by video monitors and introduces each scene. He adds a little tease before each one, saying seductive things like "This was Jenna's first time getting fucked with a strap-on" and "Crystal Knight is about to have her special initiation into girl-girl action". After his brief segments, we go into the sex scene proper. Each one is fairly similar in approach. Randy talks to the girls as they prepare to perform (or simply films them as the primp, preen and pose). Eventually, he lets them commence and the action begins. And since lesbianism is pretty straightforward, this review will cut to the chase when it comes to a detailed play-by-play and merely try to provide the carnal color that will either sell you on or shield you from this title. Just rest assured that the ladies here all kiss, eat each other out, play with strap-ons or toys, and use their hands and fingers in interesting fashions. We begin with:

Scene 1: Jenna Jameson and Felicia
Time: 32 mins
Added Attraction: The Strap On
Looking like a high school girl (and almost completely devoid of any "surgical enhancement" to her face or body boobs the exception) the artist formerly known as "little" Jenna Jameson jumps into bed with Felicia and they really tie on the twat. The oral action between these heated honeys is very hot, since West the director allows the ladies the luxury of a mostly real-time pussy performance. There are no annoying jump cuts (just a couple of smooth transitions) and the expressions on both gal's faces indicates the level of enjoyment going on. When Jenna screams in orgasmic glee, it's not hard (but it damn well should be...*wink*) to see why she is now such a big time star. But since this is also only the first half of the scene, the best is yet to come. There is something strangely fascinating about a woman violating another with an awkward, attached appendage. As if to make it even more enticing, Felicia really fucks the Hell out of Jenna, who seems to relish every last plastic inch of the ersatz attachment. The dicking also lasts a long time and provides a great deal of peter pleasure. Scorching, erotic and very appealing, this scene is as near to perfect as a same sex act can get in front of the camera. Brava, ladies. Score: 9.5/10

Scene 2: Christine Angel and Leena
Time: 45 mins
Added Attraction: Toys

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With a nice blanket and several pillows placed in front of a roaring fireplace, the mood is set for a romantic rendezvous. Both Leena (a rather young sounding redhead) and Christina (a more mature blond) are dressed in sexy lingerie and they spend time stripping it off each other. Then the standard Sapphic sparks begin to fly. About halfway through the kissing and cunnilingus, a nice long session of 69 breaks out, with both ladies really lunching on each other liberally. When the double-headed dildo makes an appearance, we anticipate a sizzling session of hand-held humping. And we are not disappointed. Both gals take this titanic tool into their cunts, pumping and prodding with total inhibition. But the best business comes after the solo shafting. Leena gives Christina one end, doggy style and sitting directly above her ass, the redhead takes the other end in her snatch. They do this kind of kinky c0-pile driver for a while before attempting "The Big V" (dildo in the respective pussies while they sit facing each other, legs spread). After that seems to fail, Leena puts one end in her ass, Christina follows suit and they butt fuck each other, face to face. Finally, Leena puts both ends of the dong in her two inputs and masturbates. Christina uses a small vibrator in her ass, and with some eventual help from lovely Lee, she climaxes as well.

Like the strap-on in the previous scene, the addition of toys really raises the randiness of the action here. Both ladies are attractive and very passionate. They really sell this girl-girl session well and make this near one-hour exercise in sensual sisterhood a truly erotic entry. Score: 9/10

Scene 3: Crystal Knight, Felicia, and Misty Rain
Time: 35 mins
Added Attraction: Three-way with Toys and Strap On
Before the hardcore begins, the girls sit around in various sexy outfits and sort through a series of rather serious looking sex toys. They kid each other about the damage they intend to do with them. Randy makes a few lewd comments and then reveals his big secret for the scene: Crystal has never been with a woman before. Both Misty and Felicia take this as a challenge and, before you know it, they are really giving Ms. Knight a friggin' she'll always remember. During the usually pussy eating, we get some extreme close-ups and a nice sampling of 69. But when the dildos are liberally applied, the action really heats up. Misty loves to fuck Crystal with a ferocity and rapidity that would make JPX jealous. No matter if the faux phallus is skinny and long or as fat as a hog log, the same jack-off butter churning booty banging is called for. Ms. Knight doesn't seem to mind much. She gives as good as she takes and really gets into the lesbian party line. Soon, all the ladies have pleasure enhancers at or near all their private parts. You will perhaps not witness more toy use and abuse by a bunch of horny bitches than you will see in this scene. When all is said and cum, the look of love and lust on their flush faces says it all. Rivaling some of the more robust Sappho scenes out there, this intense trio of talented tarts does enough snatch spelunking and ass eating to make even the most jaded Johnson stand up and cheer. Easily as enticing and erotic as the opening installment here. Score: 9.5/10

Scene 4: Misty Rain and Rosie Lee
Time: 23 mins
Added Attraction: Nothing
Well, it just couldn't last, could it? After three scenes of hyper-sexual fem-to-fem frolics, there had to be a let down...and this scene is it. Basically nothing more than a couple of glad gals getting it on in a very passionate and sensual manner, the lack of unusual accessories or interesting positions (this is about as "straight" as lesbianism can get) undermines this scene's, and the overall DVD's, impact. With a better ending installment, this compilation would soar into the Adult Collectors Category (even taking some of the technical shortcomings into consideration). Not even the inclusion of a little white "pocket rocket" stimulator can make this lipstick loving anything but sweet and softcore sexy. You won't be disappointed in the action here (these ladies really love each other) but compared to scenes 1 through 3, this is the Skinemax version of girl-on-girl grinding. Score: 5.5/10

All you ritzy, radical filmmakers retooling porn in your own MTV-inspired image, take note: Randy West, with a camcorder, a couple of lass loving ladies and a 'single take' mentality creates, by far, the most intense and interesting lesbian scenes this critic has seen in a long time. Obviously, the 1990's ideal of lingering over an active couple and allowing action to take its time (as well as finding the right combination of muff-diving Misses) turns the most simplistic of set ups into scorching sexual she-banging. The style differences cannot be emphasized enough. Your average current adult title mandates that all scenes end within a 9 to 15 minute time frame. And since there is a 'more for the money' priority, all fucking and sucking must be multi-faceted and wildly varied. The Jenna scene would have to have, not only foreplay and cunt licking, but strap-on and toys and shower/soap sequences and salad tossing and toe-jamming...and everything would have to play out in the shortest amount of screen time possible. This critic has often championed the idea of inferring personal passion and proclivity between performers by allowing us to see, slowly and fully, how the individuals react to each other. The more force you feel between the participants, the more arousing it is. All the scenes in I Love Lesbians (even the lukewarm finale) generate enough bodacious body heat to turn your cock to concrete and jumble the family jewels. It makes no difference if the production value is point and shoot, more or less, and that there is no real directorial flare. When you've got women who really enjoy loving each other, what more do you need?

The Video:
Strike One I Love Lesbians looks every hour of its decade old age. The obvious limitations of early 90s video technology is rampant across the 1.33:1 full screen transfer. The image is fuzzy and overly soft. There is very little detail or contrast and the color correction is all over the map. While the flesh tones are, more or less, maintained, we do get a great deal of fading as toys that are supposed to shimmer with neon naughtiness are dull and drab. One gets the impression that Mr. West merely took his old VHS version of this title and ran it through the digital copier, without a remaster or a run through a picture enhancer. As a result, the overall video is barely better than an old Betamax.

The Audio:
Strike Two As bad as the visual aspect is, the sound is even worse. Utilizing the microphone in his bulky video camera (we occasionally see West, face obscured by his recording device, in mirrors or reflections), voices barely register on the soundtrack. Randy can be heard quite clearly during the initial moments of the action (naturally, he is the closest to the mic) but when the ladies dish the dirt or admire each other, most of that conversation is lost. The musical accompaniment to each scene is also overly loud. The bump and grind grooves occasionally obscure the sex sounds, which is never a good thing. If you don't care what is going on between the girls verbally, then you won't mind the aural awfulness here. But if sound along with vision is a mandate for a meaty respond to the lewd, I Love Lesbians will let you down.

The Extras:
Strike Three and the reason why this set fails to get a higher overall score. Mr. West has determined that the best way to sell his product is to skip the extra content (there are a couple of minutes of outtakes at the end of the feature itself, but they seem more like an afterthought than a true bit of bonus material) and offer a few, very poor, trailers for his other titles. Now, there can be a tendency for a porn preview to go overboard, leaving the viewer with the sensation that they have already seen the movie before they've actually sat down and watched it. West, on the other hand, supplies some scattershot moments from his films before the trailer just ends, no set up or conclusion. The DVD cover claims this title is "interactive" and that you can "pick your girl" and "choose what she does". Well, this is not true. All this means is that the scene selection menu is divided up in such a manner that you can skip to Jenna getting fucked, Misty eating Felicia and so on. Basically, your standard chapter choices. Even though the steamy action in the compilation itself is more than enough to satisfy your porn proclivities, this throwback mentality to the non-added content days of DVD is disheartening.

Final Thoughts:
A good way to describe I Love Lesbians is Hella hot action in a terribly tepid package. The lack of extras and the miserable sound and image really undermine what is, at its carnal core, a stellar set of same sex flesh festivals. On the Disco Dirge Peter Meter, this title is highly recommended and warrants a 8.5/10 overall. Unless your significant other enjoys the sisterhood of Sappho (not personally, but for fantasy/entertainment purposes only) there may be a significant chasm in the comfort for couples department. However, because the action is so scorching and the toy time significant, it's a safe bet that gals would probably get their glands in a groove over this luscious labia loving. So a Cohabitation Certification is granted. I Love Lesbians is porn the way it used to be: removed of all the artistic temperaments of the new breed of prick and pussy provocateurs and avoiding over editing to let the gooey goodness forever flow. Aside from having the pleasure of seeing a pre-superstar Jenna getting her junction box blown by a fat piece of plastic, there is other, much more magnificent mons masticating and booty blistering here, enough to satisfy even the most nitpicky porn aficionado. If you forgive the technical limits and embrace the face sitting and cunt nudging, you'll learn to love lesbians just as much as Randy West does. This is a stellar same-sex title.

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