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Just My Ass Please

Studio: Other » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 5/31/04

XCritic's Advice: Watch On Demand

Just My Ass Please


Genre: Anal

Director: Pat Myne

Cast: Faith Grant, Lee Stone, Maggie Star, Victoria, Ben English, Allura Bond, Justin Slayer, Lauren Phoenix, Dick Delaware, Ariana Jollee

Length: 118 minutes

Date of Production: 6/16/2003 to 6/19/2003

Extra's: The best extra for me was the 10.5 minute long Behind the Scenes feature by Alex S. It showed the gals fooling around and had short interviews. I only with it lasted longer since it had some great footage. There was also a photogallery, a come shot compilation, some trailers, a cardboard case for the DVD and some spam.

Condoms: None

Audio/Video Quality: The picture was presented in the usual 1.33:1 ratio full frame color, the porn industry standard for years, as it was originally shot. While a few scenes had some minor lighting issues that added grain and some slight video noise to the picture, overall it looked pretty solid. I did notice on my second viewing that some compression artifacts would pop up if I scanned the DVD at a faster rate but none were noticed at regular speed. The audio was presented in stereo English, but the levels varied on the vocals a lot more than I like. If I have to change the setting more than twice of a DVD, I'm not happy and this was such a case.

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Body of Review: In recent months, Pat Myne has shown that he has some serious talent as a director of anal movies. From Ass Brand New to Ass Slaves to Terrible Teens, the guy shows he has what it takes to get audiences off with a little help from some friends. I'd expect no less from a guy that married one of the hottest women in porn (i.e.: the Storminator), and as his technical skill improves, I think he'll eventually be recognized by others in the field as more than a "nice guy that retired from working in front of the camera". In fact, while he still has some rough edges, his camera skills are already as good as Stagliano, the master of anal, and his eye for what works is closing on the king quickly. Metro has a good thing going with this guy and his latest release on DVD is Just My Ass Please. The movie is a series of anal themed vignettes that have the women skipping vaginal sex to favor the anal antics so many fans want these days. If that sounds like what you're looking for, read the following breakdown by cast and action:

Scene One: Faith, a blonde gal wearing white fishnet stockings and crop top, followed Pat's orders to prance around and show off her body before removing her panties. An anal plug was stretching her ass and while she had some blemishes (and moles) down under, I'd have tapped that round ass in a heartbeat. Pat had her play with her anal plug, even switching it for a clear glass one, before the massive Lee took its place. They screwed anally only, skipping the pussy altogether (as the title suggests), and she seemed to hold on for dear life as he slammed it in her. Keeping in mind that this guy is very large, I didn't subtract too many points for her lack of energy as he boned her (fans of ATM will appreciate it too). It ended with the standard facial, which she let drip out of her mouth to fall on her outfit.

Scene Two: Maggie started off the next scene by wearing a hot fetish outfit, including black fishnets, a small top, stripper shoes, and a large metal collar. Her ass was also quite sweet to look at and as she walked over to the couch, Victoria popped into view, wearing some fishnets of her own. I like such attire and wish more directors would use it in their movies. Victoria was playing with her ass using an anal plug but she seemed kind of out of it as she did so. I thought the scene would be a lesbian scene at this point but in walked Ben to dispel that notion. He immediately took charge of the scene and started hammering away at the gal's tight asses, as they played with one another. Victoria was up first and while Maggie fingered this woman, Ben plugged away like he was drilling for gold. Maggie got to taste his ass-juice flavored penis (I call it ATM but other's refer to it as ATOGM-ass to other girls mouth) and they swapped positions to share the wealth. Neither of the women were overly energetic while taking the penis up the butt yet it wasn't a bad scene. Victoria took the load and then they cum swapped to finish the scene.

Scene Three: Allura, an average looking gal from England, was up next and her outfit was far more conventional, making it look rather mundane by comparison. She had a nice ass but with all the other gals getting to like souped up with cool fetish attire, this started off the scene on the wrong foot. As she stripped, you could see her anal plug sticking out and it wasn't long before Justin came to initiate her for the scene. He has a long penis and she took most of it in her mouth before he started drilling her ass. There was more ATM going on and he took his time boning her but it took a while before she started fucking back; showing the kind of energy viewers want to see. It ended with a good-sized facial but she acted as stiff as a board when taking it, posing for the camera more than anything else.

Scene Four: Lauren , wearing some pink fishnets, a matching G-String, and a white fishnet top with accessories, followed orders from Pat, teasing the camera. Her ass looked as sweet as any of the others here (no small feat that!) and the stripper shoes accentuated her curves nicely. After she masturbated with her fingers in her ass, she used a couple of toys to stretch herself out for muscular Dick to take charge of her body. Her oral skills seemed to be pretty solid, giving him a no-hands, balls deep, BJ, and after some ATM with her plug, he took her hard. Unlike most of the other gals, she energetically bounced in his lap as he filled her ass. They switched positions several times, each time giving her the chance to do some ATM, but her dirty talk also contributed to the heat of the scene. In short, her attitude alone made this scene better than the others and I could've watched her all day. The worst thing about the scene was his tiny load, which she swallowed like a professional.

Scene Five: Ariana, a curvy brunette, wore a white fishnet bikini with stripper boots as she showed off her lovely body. Pat directed her about the room and she seemed to instinctively know how best to show herself off before starting the ass stretching action the title mandated. Her fingers went first and then a larger glass anal plug before the massive Lee joined her in the living room. She gave him some dynamite head, making gagging noises but not taking him all the way down (there was some no hands action here too), before the anal slamming began. She was another active participant in the anal sex, making this scene almost as good as the previous one. The sex didn't seem to last as long this time and she posed for the facial but it was still pretty solid in terms of heat.

Summary: I loved the outfits, I really liked most of the women, and I think the formula has a lot of merit but only two of the performers looked to be really enjoying themselves enough to merit watching more than once. I'm going to rate this one as a Rent It but fans of Lauren and Ariana will want to get their own copy. The minor technical issues weren't a big problem compared to the lack of energy by some of the performers but that also contributed to the weakness of the DVD. In short, Pat Myne has a tremendous amount of talent and I expect most of his releases to shine compared to many of his peers, but even such a guy is bound to have some growing pains; Just My Ass Please is one of them.

Note: You can see recent candid shots of several of these performers by visiting: My Photo's and read about their antics at 2004 AEE Show.

You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon

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