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Valley Girls Vol. 1

Studio: Madness Pictures » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 6/27/04

XCritic's Advice: Watch On Demand

Valley Girls 1

Madness Pictures

Genre: Vignette

Director: Andre Madness

Cast: Teagan, Rich Handsome, Lisa Marie, Jay Ashley, Kimberly Kane, Lee Stone, Lena Juliette, Talon, Ice La Fox, Tony Tedeschi

Length: 99 minutes

Date of Production: 1/22/2004 to 1/24/2004

Extra's: The best extra was a 6.5-minute long Behind the Scenes feature. It spent some time with the gals showing off their hardware and giving interviews. There was also a trailer, a photogallery and a double-sided DVD cover but that's it. I couldn't find the advertised bloopers anywhere on the DVD so buyer beware.

Condoms: None

Audio/Video Quality: The picture was presented in non-anamorphic widescreen 1.78:1 ratio color when played on my computer. I had to play it on my computer because it wouldn't play on my home theatre set up(s) and this should put you on the alert that the DVD mastering was not up to par. There was a fair amount of grain and video noise with some soft focus but that could be because my computer monitor added some in (although this is highly unlikely). The stereo English audio track was fair but again, it was not playable on my home gear so your mileage will vary here as well.

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Body of Review: Madness Pictures is the brainchild of Andre Madness, a guy known for his directing skills nearly as much as how well he tells a joke in a group of people. Having worked for others over the years, Madness must've decided it was crazy to bust his ass and see all the profits go to someone else so he formed the company with the hopes of making some money doing what he likes to do best; make porn. The latest release from the company is a little vignette title called Valley Girls 1. It focused on the generic oral and straight sex that most people are familiar with but had a cast of attractive young gals that each claim some tie to the valley in California. Unlike movies of old where the gals would use weird slang to prove their geographic heritage, these women prove it in another way; they screw like bunnies on camera. If this sounds good to you, read the following breakdown of the scenes, noting the technical difficulties I encountered while playing it:

Scene One: Teagan, the lovely young lead on the front DVD cover claimed to be 18 years old and really into sex during her interview. She had a scene with Rich, a man nearly twice her age from the looks of it. The two had oral and straight sex that ended with a facial. She seemed to put some energy into her work but there was no chemistry to speak of. If you're looking for a professional sex worker, you've come to the right place.

Scene Two: Lisa, a gal that was very cute and natural, had a scene with Jay on a couch. Unlike Teagan, she seemed to have fun for fun's sake and the scene was warm as a result. She proved she had some oral talent but also met his thrusts when they screwed, making me enjoy the act a lot more. For fans of ball dipping (AKA: tea bagging), they did that too and each gave some good oral here. There wasn't much PTM and she was a bit too lean for me but it was a pretty solid scene, ending with a facial.

Scene Three: Kimberly, a cutie with light highlights in her hair, claimed to be born and raised in the valley before she started the stripping portion of her scene. She was also lean and the massive Lee made her look tiny by comparison as the two sucked and fucked. She did give the scene her full attention and seemed to enjoy his size and style with lots of chemistry and energy but there were times when she faltered a bit. Her over the top vocals were a little much for me but she made up for it by taking him on repeatedly. Whew!

Scene Four: Lena, a Latina gal with a sweet looking ass and sexual hunger that normally puts her peers to shame, had a scene with Talon on a bed. The two hit it off immediately and each gave the other some hot oral loving before screwing. Talon gave her some spanking action but nothing major and the two both participated fully in the action. With a slightly rough edge to the scene, a lot of you are going to like it as much as I did. It ended with the formulaic facial and proved stimulating for me.

Scene Five: Ice, a Latina wearing pigtails and having just enough baby fat that you believe she's under twenty years old, skipped the strip sequence to get to work on Tony on the bed. She did some gagging action and otherwise proved she's no stranger to a penis in her mouth but it was her riding action that truly impressed me. While I've always thought her dental deficiencies were a turn off, I recognize that she's good at what she does and even in a scene with a guy that looks twice her age, she did well here.

Summary: Having watched Legal Tender 1 recently and noticing it wasn't particularly worthy of your hard earned dollars, I was pleased that the sex here was often pretty warm or better. If not for the inability of two home players to play this DVD, I would've rated it higher than the Rent It I gave, but not much. The extras were lacking (or missing) and some of the gals here needed to improve their sex-for-money skills. It's worth a look though so check it out if you get the chance.

Note: You can see recent candid shots of several of these performers by visiting: My Photo's and read about their antics at 2004 AEE Show.

You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon

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