GENRE: Gonzo Double Penetration Compilation
DIRECTORS: Axel Braun
STARS: Nadia Styles, Marco Duato, Ben English, Shayna Knight, Missy Monroe, Mr. Pete, Mark Ashley, Alex Devine, Lisa Lee
DATES OF PRODUCTION: 2004
LENGTH: 185 mins with bonus material
Modern adult entertainment has taken a decidedly ADD approach to its movies as of late. Used to be that when a couple of carnal cravers got prick and pussy all ripe and ready, a natural flow of non-airbrushed fucking would take place. Back then, XXX tried to sell its sex as a sensual, erotic affair. Sure, it was still hardcore humping, but story and acting (or, at least what was CALLED story and acting) were theoretically indicating an intensity born of mutual horniness. But nowadays, the gratuitous gloves are off and tool to twat dynamics are best described as full steamy ahead fast and furious. Just as our mainstream culture has gotten more hurry up and hit it, porn's approach to the pros and cons of coitus has an equally rapid-fire ferocity. Where once foreplay was an act, not an after thought and performers pretended that they actually wanted each other in overheated ardor, today we get "wham bam thank you ma'am" to the tenth power (actually, it's more like "wham ma'am"...or "WM"). A good example of this risqu้ Ritalin roundelay is the latest series from famed director Axel Braun. Presented by Digital Sin, Double Teamed is true to its title: it's a compilation of scenes, each of which features men with dicks the size of small nations, both banging the blithering bejesus out of an orifice offering object. Such faceless, nameless attributes are actually applicable to the used and contused ladies in Double Teamed. They are treated like the human equivalent of the golf course ball washers, cocks like ham-fisted pistons pumping in and out of their ever-open entryways. Certainly, such XXX theatrics are peter puffing fantastic. But one has to wonder if all this swift sucking and frantic fucking will eventually lead to balling burn out.
Presented in an ironic fashion (the opening title cards try to trick us into thinking this will be some manner of sex epic) Double Teamed is really nothing more than a collection of scenes featuring one fine female and a two well-lubed tool timers making arcane Kama Sutra smutballs all over the small screen. Created and captured by director Axel Braun, there is no lewd logic, randy rhyme or ribald reason to what occurs in each installment. Basically, it's erect dongs and willing wenches away, as actors get all nine inch nailing on each other (at least these guys don't have to whine about wanting to fuck like animals they actually do it!) in the hardcore equivalent of a whirling dervish. By the time these multi-positioned pastiches conclude, you'll be spent from jacking around your attention span, much less your Johnson. Therefore, it will be impossible in this review to recount what actually happens in each sequence. What will be given is a breakdown of performers, along with a list of the actual acts experienced and an overall impression of the porn. We begin the raunchy race with:
Scene 1: Nadia Styles, Marco Duato, Ben English
Acts Engaged In: Ass Slapping, Hair Pulling, Rough F to M Oral, Deep Throating, Jack Hammer Hand Jobs, Tit Spanking, Double Dong Dribbling, Face Fucking, Cock to Cheek Chuffing, Upside Down Drilling, Reverse Cowgirl, Doggie, Deep Penetration, Cowgirl, Tit Fucking, Standing Pole Sitting, Upside Down BJs, Spooning, $ Shots to Face and Chest
Nadia stares straight into the camera and confesses that she'd like a couple of well-muscled meat marauders to come into her fantasy world and fuck the holy rolling bat shit out of her. Chiseled chums Marco and Ben saunter in and treat Ms. Styles like a blow-up doll with internal lube action. These guys pork the petite participant so hard and heartlessly that you have to wonder what the gal thought of her manhandling when it was all over. It all seems about as degrading as popping a boner while at the board in junior high math class. Still, one has to say that both men pack peter and pounds in all the right places. Ladies will probably work up a good amount of liquid appreciation for these curvy cocked characters. Sadly, the short attention span antics of the scene really do lessen the lovin's impact. Had we felt even the remotest emotion on the part of any participant here, the scene would really sizzle hyper-quick jump cuts and all. Without that connection, this is just well crafted, supersonic sex that grabs the groin. But the nasty intensity is a tad much. Score: 8/10
Scene 2: Shayna Knight, Marco Duato, Claudio Meloni
Acts Engaged In: Ass Slapping, F to Male Oral, Deep Throating, Cowgirl with Double Penetration, Kookmahl, Tool to Tongue Spanking, Reverse Cowgirl, Straight Missionary, Rough Fingering, Doggy, Anal Doggy, Anal Reverse Cowgirl with Double Penetration, $ Shot in Mouth
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As Shayna starts talking about her excitement over finally getting to fuck two guys, our Italian scallions step over to where she is laying and whip out their stiff sausages for servicing. What happens next can best be described as a series of sex acts, followed by rather odd reaction shots of the fornicating participants. Braun even gets all Video Toaster on us with several strange wipes that move from position to position with robot ridiculousness. Much of the scene goes by in awkwardly edited inertia and there are several occasions where we can't really follow what the rigging frigging is going on. All of this dilutes Shayna's 'shout it out loud' love of what she is experiencing. This gal enjoys being a depository for Mediterranean meat wands so much that she almost seems disappointed when it's all over. The double penetration here is some of the best on the entire DVD, meaning that if you like seeing plugged up pussy and poop chute, you'll get a kick out of this bold banging. Score 7.5/10
Scene 3: Missy Monroe, Mr. Pete, Mark Ashley
Acts Engaged In: F to M Oral, Rough Fingering, Snatch Snacking, Face Fucking, Tit Slapping, Face Slapping, Straight Vaginal, Doggy, Pile Driver, Cowgirl, Double Dick Riding the Range, Reverse Cowgirl, Double Dick Driving the Herd Back, Praying Hands in Pussy, Scissors, Straight Vaginal with added Hand Insertion, $ Shot on Chest and Face
Like a visit to trailer town on payday, this white trash extravaganza has a pair of pathetic stickmen poking the potent portals out of poor Missy. These groin-grabbing goobers do everything but watch NASCAR as they simultaneously pump our dull-eyed blond. Mr. Pete (God, what a DUMB porn name. Why not 'Master Bator' or 'Senior Shaft') has a kind of bald-headed Deliverance kid with cockmanship look while Mark makes with the flimsy, floppy mop top and faux facial hair. The rather rube-like look of the performers really deadens any sexual dynamic here, along with the full frontal XXX frenzy. Towards the end, when every opening in Missy's mangled body has been plied and tried a couple dozen times, we simply wish for these trolls to blow their load and be done with it. While the set-up is the same (Missy expressing her desire to be double teamed) not even the eight-finger insertion or the twin tool cunt cuddling can make up for unattractive people doing the literal equivalent of the nasty. Score: 2/10
Scene 4: Alex Devine, Marco Duato, Ben English
Acts Engaged In: F to M Oral, Hair Pulling, Tit Spanking, Deep Throating, Doggy, Reverse Cowgirl, Ass Fingering, Cunt Fingering, Anal Doggy, Cock to Cheek Chuffing, Reverse Cowgirl with Double Penetration, Kookmahl, A to M, Standing Pole Sitting, Standing Double Penetration, Scissors, $ Shot to Face and on Vagina
Showing that their acrobatic act from Scene 1 was no fuck fluke, Marco and Ben answer Alex's twin prick request and in classic Chrissie Hynde sytle, show her what all those holes are for. In many ways, this scene is just like the first one. Alex gets tossed around while Marco and Ben try to find unique ways to keep wang in womb and maw simultaneously. Indeed, the standing DP action with each guy going butt and beaver alternately is really inventive and adds a lot to the speed racer sex ideal. While Alex is not quite as active (or vocal) as Nadia, she does offer a nice set of cavities for our stiff studs to sink their crocked crescent cranks into. Score: 8/10
Scene 5: Lisa Lee, Marco Duato, Claudio Meloni
Acts Engaged In: Toe Sucking, Leg Licking, Pussy Eating, F to M Oral, Salad Tossing M to F, Doggy, Ass Slapping, Reverse Cowgirl, Cowgirl with Double Dick Insertion, Spooning, $ Shot on Vagina and in Mouth, Spoon Feeding of Cum
Trying for some manner of casualty pay, Marco makes his third appearance (one more than runner-up Ben) in the available trouser snake competition for most onscreen sex. Using a more skit oriented approach Marco and Claudio are repairmen who find their blond British employer a naughty bit of nailable crumpet our pliers of prick proceed to pounce on this cheeky chick with hot and heavy relish. By this time in Double Teamed, it takes a lot to amaze us. Each sex scene basically repeats the random act antics of the others and once you've seen a pussy filled with a dual helping of hard on, you've seen it all. Thankfully, we get some cunnilingus to alter the lewd landscape, and a strange act by Claudio near the very end also enlivens this growing-routine ramrodding. After spooning like a madman, he has to blow his load. He layers lily-white ball juice all over Lisa's love canal. He then proceeds to pick up a plastic spoon, scoops up a sample of his secretion, and feeds it to Lisa as Marco unleashes his beast brew directly onto Ms. Lee's luscious lips. Suddenly, your sexual appetite has been re-awakened and you are paying attention to the fuck and suck fun. Still, the habitual nature of the humping has started to become incredibly tiresome. Score: 6/10
For the first hour or so, Double Teamed is frenetic fun. Marco, Ben and the boys really deliver the gonad goods and the individual action is steamy and super salacious. But variety is the spice of sex life and, sadly, Double Teamed has very little dong diversity. Oh sure, each installment has more manic maneuvers than the unexpurgated version of The Joy of Fucking, but there is an element of sameness that starts to seep up about the 15th time we see a loose little lady taking a cock in her ass while she deep throats another. These front door/back door dimensions really leave precious few positions to be explored in future installments of this proposed series. Different performers can be employed, but as long as they are doing the same sensual schematics, the hardcore could actually grow ho-hum. Thankfully, Axel Braun finds mini-moments of invention all throughout this DVD. From the spoon-feeding fun to the upside down rod rodeos, his exploration of the triple treat gives a whole new mind-blowing meaning to the menage a trois. As a director, Braun has some very bad gonzo habits. He often gets in too close on the action, leaving us to guess which body part is going where. He also seems to move around excessively in hand-held hurriedness, like a wrestling referee afraid he'll miss an important pin. With attractive people (Mr. Pete and his Jerry Springer rejects aside) doing dirty things to each other, Double Teamed is three-times the taint tickling. But it's also a tri-fold fuck fest that uses up its available permutations before the final pussy has been plucked.
Even though its roots are in the world of amateur gonzo grabbing, Double Teamed has a very nice professional look to its video to film features. There is some flaring during the opening scene and we occasionally see a bit of flaring around performers as they move in and out of the sun. Still, in the ever-growing pantheon of portable picture takers, the colorful camerawork in the 1.33:1 full screen offering is very nice...weird post-production wipes and all.
In what is rapidly becoming a standard in hardcore pornography, we are treated to very little background music during Double Teamed. Before the buttfucking begins, there is some ambient electronic sound percolating along with the talking. But once the mouthorgan solos begin, the tunes are turned down and the natural atmosphere of a bunch of adult film stars huffing and puffing fills the Dolby Digital Stereo soundtrack. Not as foot stomping or finger banging as one would hope, the aural elements of Double Teamed are still sonically sound...forgive the pun.
With over an hour of additional content, the bonus material on the Double Teamed DVD is exceptional. Though the extra scene is kind of a letdown (it has none of the fiendish fire found on the compilation proper) the behind the scenes featurette is very enlightening. Basically a half hour set of interviews with several of the female stars of the film (Alex, Shayna, Missy and Lisa are all featured) we get some valuable insights into the world of porn stardom. Alex discusses her love of dick sucking. Missy explains why she left the adult industry for a while. Shayna salivates over the idea of intense DP and Lisa details the British fixation with anal sex. Overall, the Q&A is fun (with our cameraman getting a little free love service on the side) and informative, making this one of the better backstage show and tells. Along with a nice selection of trailers (some which feature previews for many titles under a single signature name) and the usual web ads, there is a lot to like about the additional elements. The specifics for the extra scene are as follows:
Bonus Scene From: Craving Big Cocks #1 Bobbi Eden, Ben English, Michael Stefano
28 mins, 2004
Bobbi gives us a little cabaret as she prances around in her slinky lingerie. Before the strip can get beyond the tease stage, Ben and Michael attack the blond bimbette and bonk her back into the slutty Stone Age. We see some intense tit sucking, pussy eating (with frequent fingering), mouth full of member, regular sex, face fucking, ball washing, hand jobbing, all manner of doggy and cowgirls, lots of cunt to mouth and even some powerful pile driver. The final money shots are on the face and lips. After the aggressive action of the previous five scenes, this bonus entry is ennui inducing. While Bobbi looks great and both men supply substantial love lumber, the overall dynamic is dull, not debauched. Score: 4/10
Like eating a half dozen Reese's Peanut Butter Eggs in a single sitting (they are the perfect commercial candy, by the way) too much overly athletic pornography can put you into a quasi-sexual sugar coma. The initial rush of watching a trio of trick fuckers form all manner of titillating tableaus is definitely delicious. Add in the double stuffing and your wood is in way over its auto-manipulative head. So even though it starts to grate on your groin after a while, Double Teamed is still highly recommended and earns a 7 out of 10 on the Disco Dirge Peter Meter. Couples may find some of the feats here demanding and male lovers looking for penile support will take one look at the huge hogs hung on these professional porkers and sign up for self-esteem therapy sessions A.S.A.P. Still, the ladies will have lots to look at and the guys do get their centerfold samplings as well. So a Cohabitation Certification is granted. As it has with so many other titles, Digital Sin serves up a hot, steamy pile of porn with a true dedication to double penetration. But hopefully director Braun doesn't sit back on his logistical laurels and stop the corporeal combinations. A little bit of Double Teamed goes a long way and this initial DVD offering may have already shot the series wad before it even gets to the glory holing.