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Porn Reviews » Adult DVD Reviews » Real Christy Canyon, The

Real Christy Canyon, The


Studio: Vivid » Review by Michael Vega » Review Date: 7/23/04
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XCritic's Advice: Recommended




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Cast: See review.

Length: 1 hour 51 minutes

Extras: "Bonus Room" [3 extra scenes], "Behind the Scenes", & a Photo Gallery. There are also some previews, an ad for Vivid's website & something called "Sexy Talk" which is actually the FORCED phone sex ads at the beginning [does anyone actually PAY for that..?]

Audio/Video: The video is 1.33:1 full frame ratio. The picture quality and audio is inconsistent. The ten scenes are culled from ten different films. The majority are shot on video and have acceptable audio and video.

Preface about my method: It's my belief that compilations are much better than full features. I mean, think about it. Why do people watch Adult films? Is it for the compelling storylines? How bout the Oscar worthy acting? Nope. It's for sex. Plain and simple. These Vivid compilations serve that purpose. They present you with a DVD that cuts all the bull and gets down to business. 

Christy Canyon is one of THE finest 'ol school porn stars. She has two things going for her...

NO, not THOSE two things...Well, actually, I counted them as one unit. But, the other thing is her ability to bring the heat to a sex scene. Besides being one of the few porn stars to actually have NATURAL boobs, she has the thighs, ass & face to complement that asset.

 

"Victim Of Love 2" - Christy Canyon, Jamie Summers & Micky Ray
Acts Included: Oral.
We begin the disc with Christy and Jamie making out as Micky watches. After kneeling down to get a taste of Christy, Jamie gets a brief, weak licking in return. Is that all that Christy's going to give her? Apparently, the answer is no since there's some more caressing and kissing before Christy sits Jamie on the arm of a chair to dive deep between her legs. This was pretty hot. When the ladies are done with each other, they turn their attention to Micky. Jamie gives him a pretty good blowjob, as Christy walks over to kiss and talk dirty to him. The scene ends with Jamie stroking Micky until her gives her a pearl necklace.

This was a pretty weak start for this disc. While I did like watching Christy giving Jamie's pussy a thorough licking, there could've been some more action -- including some penetration. I'm sure it'll get better.

 

"Portrait Of Christy" - Christy Canyon, Peter North & T.T. Boy
Acts Included: Oral. Vaginal.
Positions: Doggystyle. Missionary.
Condoms: Nope.
I was RIGHT.

As T.T. and Peter are sharing a bottle of champagne in a kitchen, Christy begins teasing them by seductively crawling on a table while talking dirty. It takes a while [well, longer than it would've taken me], but Christy finally gets naked and the guys get to work on her. T.T. starts fondling those fantastic breasts, while Peter licks and fingers her pussy. Once her clothes are stripped off, Peter burrows his tongue deeper in her pussy as T.T. stuffs his dick in her mouth. Eventually, Peter begins fucking her on the table missionary-style while T.T. licks and sucks on her tits. The boys switch places, and now T.T. fucks her from behind as she sucks Pete's dick. This looked HOT. So hot, that T.T. cums on her ass and Pete unleashes a Peter North "Quarter Pounder" near her face to end the scene.

I have to admit it, I was biased when it came to this scene. "Portrait Of Christy" is one of the few VHS porn tapes I ever purchased back in the early 90s. I remember searching the Village for the title after reading a review of the flick and seeing some of the screencaps in an adult magazine. [Remember, this is before Mr. Gore invented the Internet and Mr. Giuliani "Disney"-ized NYC]. Let me tell you... it was worth every single cent. And this scene was one of the highlights. 

 

"Comeback" - Christy Canyon & Tony Tedeschi
Acts Included: Oral. Vaginal.
Positions: Doggystyle. Missionary.
Condoms: Yep.
Christy begins the scene by hiking up her lovely sundress to begin rubbing her pussy. Once she undoes the top, freeing one of those fantastic breasts, we see Tony rubbing the stiff rod in his pants. After doing away with the dress, Christy bends over as Tony literally devours her pussy. Wouldn't you? I know I would. She returns the favor by giving him a brief blowjob. When she's done, the next shot sees her with her legs spread as she rubs her pussy. As she's doing this, we see Tony, on the bottom of the screen, stroking his dick while he watches. I don't think I could accurately describe how hot I thought this was. Unfortunately, it's not long before she's on her back and he's between her legs for some missionary. There's some sexy doggystyle by the desk before Tony cums on her ass.

Another hot scene. In particular, the part where she lays back rubbing her pussy as we see Tony's dick on the bottom of the screen with him stroking it. And while I thought the doggystyle was hot, it paled in comparison. 

sponsored by:

 

"Twisted" - Christy Canyon, Joey Silvera & T.T. Boy
Acts Included: Oral. Vaginal.
Positions: Doggystyle. Missionary. Reverse Cowgirl.
Condoms: Nope.
Christy, all dolled up in sexy white lingerie, is sitting on a couch with boxer-clad T.T. and Joey. She orders them to whip out their dicks, and once they do, Joey spreads her legs for some missionary while T.T. strokes and watches. When Joey's finished, T.T. bends her over for some brief doggystyle, until Joey takes over while T.T. walks around the couch and stands in front of Christy to get his dick sucked as she's getting hammered from behind. After this, Christy gets on top of T.T. for some reverse cowgirl before bending over for Joey so he can do her doggystyle. While she's getting hammered from behind, she tells the guys where she wants them to cum. They, of course, follow orders and Joey shoots on her ass followed by T.T. lubing up her tits.

This was a pretty good scene. Christy looked good, and the action was varied and lenghty. However, there was a voiceover that i'm sure made sense during the viewing of the whole flick, however it didn't make much sense here. Other than that, this was a keeper.

 

"Sex Asylum 4" - Christy Canyon, Ashley Nicole & Blake Palmer
Acts Included: Oral. Vaginal. Anal.
Positions: Cowgirl. Doggystyle. Missionary. Reverse Cowgirl. Spoon.
Condoms: Nope..
Nurse Christy walks in on Ashley and Blake right as he's about to begin "examining" her. Instead, he tells Christy that Ashley is "in need of her personal touch" which prompts Christy to get to work on Ashley's titties as Blake begins grinding up against Christy's ass. Once Christy dives between Ashley's thighs to give her pussy a more thorough examination, Blake does the same to Christy...until she tells Blake to start fucking her. And Christy, being the consummate professional that she is, makes sure her tongue never leaves Ashley's clit or nipple as this is happening. As we're treated to a close up of Ashley's contorted face, the camera pans back to show us that she is now sitting on Christy's face while Blake is fucking her missionary-style. After this, Christy gets up so Ashley can lay on the examining table and spread her legs so Blake can start fucking her. While Ashley is getting fucked, Christy rubs her tits all over Ashley's body until Blake delivers a very weak shot on Ash's stomach.

While I could've done without seeing Blake in that weird, terrible wig that he was sporting, watching Christy fuck and get fucked made it bearable.

 

"Crazed 2" - Christy Canyon & Marc Wallice
Acts Included: Oral. Vaginal. Anal.
Positions: Cowgirl. Doggystyle. Missionary. Reverse Cowgirl. Spoon.
Condoms: Yep.
Out in a field in the wilderness, Christy and Marc begin undressing and kissing each other. Marc gives Christy some brief head and Christy later returns the favor. As Christy is on her knees with Marc's dick in her mouth, Hyapatia walks in on them. She quickly turns around and storms off as Christy continues devouring Marc's rod. Next, we see Christy's thick ass in the air as Marc is giving her some deep doggystyle. Missionary's the final position before Marc shoots on her stomach.

I don't have a problem watching a flick starring the late, blonde Savannah. Nor would I have a problem watching a scene with the late, big chested Trinity Loren. However, since I discovered that Marc Wallice contracted AIDS and was responsible for spreading it to a number of porn actresses, including one that I thought was a major cutie [Jordan McKnight], I can't really get into his scene that much anymore. That said, Christy looked pretty sexy, both on her knees and when she stuck her ass in the air.

 

"Sex 2" - Nikki Dial, Christy Canyon, Crystal Wilder & Mike Horner
Acts Included: Oral. Vaginal.
Positions: Doggystyle. Missionary.
Condoms: Nope.
Wow. That Mike Horner sure is a lucky guy...but for some reason, the scene quickly shifts from the three girls ganging up on Mike to Mike doing Nikki on the couch as Crystal is licking Christy. Nikki and Christy switch places, with Christy getting fucked by Mike as Nikki is eaten by Crystal until the scene ends with a 3 on 1 blowjob [!]. 

This scene would've received a higher rating had it not seemed so HEAVILY edited. Oh...and if it didn't end with Mike shooting while saying "I love sex".

I think we know Mike...I think we know.

 

"Domination Nation" - Christy Canyon, Krista Maze & Alex Sanders
Acts Included: Oral. Vaginal.
Positions: Missionary. Doggystyle. Cowgirl. 
Condoms: Yep.
We begin this scene with Christy & Krista struggling with a chained up Alex. Eventually they put a small plastic box with a bug [?] in it on his right forearm. Following that, they begin taking turns giving Alex's some head before laying him down as they resume sucking him. He struggles to resist and tries to get away. [Is he CRAZY!?!?]. But the ladies pin him down and after a little stimulation with her breasts, Christy gets on top for a  ride. Krista sits there with a rejected look on her face before leaving, disappointed. Alex gets Christy on a nearby bed for some missionary and some doggystyle. There's even more missionary followed by some more cowgirl before Alex performs a standing climax right on Christy's tits. 

This was a pretty good scene [ignoring the distracting overpowering music at the very beginning]. Though, I was slightly disappointed that Krista didn't get fucked. But, she looked good while she was on the screen.

 

"Night Breed" - Christy Canyon & Jill Kelly
Acts Included: Oral.
Jill Kelly and Christy Canyon in a scene together. 

Alone. With no penises. Sounds good, right? I thought so too. 

The scene begins with Christy and Jill wearing fancy Victorian-style gowns and making out on a couch. Brad Armstrong, the director, tries for an artsy look by occasionally panning the camera behind some lace curtains that are near the duo. Since it obscures the action, It fails miserably. See, if I wanted some white lace curtain porn, i'd head out to a fabric store or Martha Stewart's crib in Connecticut. I'm interested in Jill and Christy getting it on. Not only that, but It takes a full EIGHT minutes before Christy unleashes the "girls" before getting a taste of Jill's pre-op rack. It's a full TEN minutes before Jill dives between Christy's thighs as she sticks her ass high in the air. Jill lays back for Christy to return the favor until the scene mercifully ends.

From the obstructed, "artsy" camera shots, to the length of time it takes for the ladies to get naked and the action to commence, this scene was a big, fat disappointment. Christy and Jill both looked great, but it's unfortunate they were wasted in this scene.

 

"Sex Asylum 4" - Christy Canyon & Christian Parker
Acts Included: Oral. Vaginal.
Positions: Doggystyle. Missionary.
Condoms: Nope.
We join the scene as Christy, wearing some black lingerie and garters, begins giving Chris some head. Unfortunately, just as the action gets good, there's a FADE and when we resume, she's now switched positions. She still has her mouth full, but now she's in a perfect position for a 69. It doesn't happen, but once her panties come off, she makes Christian lean back and she straddles him for some reverse cowgirl. There's some brief doggystyle until she switches for missionary right before Christian shoots for her chest. 

This scene generated MAJOR heat for me. It seemed badly edited, but it was still hot nonetheless.

 

Bonus Scene from "Portrait Of Christy" - Christy Canyon & Danielle Rogers
Bonus Scene from "Sex Secrets Of A Mistress" - Christy Canyon & Mark Davis
Bonus Scene from "Night Breed" - Christy Canyon & Steven St. Croix
Behind the Scenes of "Any Dorm In A Storm" [8m 30s]


Concluding Words
: While every single scene wasn't a winner, this was a pretty fine collection of one of the finest late 80s/early 90s porn stars. Watching these compilations of old school actresses makes nostalgic for the days when they weren't pierced in every conceivable body part nor did they desecrate their bodies by tattooing every nook and cranny. I also appreciated the fact that the three standard bonus scenes that Vivid slaps on their compilations ALL feature Christy. If one were to combine scenes from this disc and ones from "And the Winner Is...Christy Canyon", they'd have one KICK ASS disc.

This one gets a Recommendation.





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