GENRE: Straight Compilation
DIRECTORS: Kat Slater
STARS: Lauren Phoenix, Tristan Seagul, Alexa, Randy Spears, Tatiana, Jay, Kimberly Kane, Eve, Camille, Seth, Lana, Brett Rockman
DATES OF PRODUCTION: 2003
LENGTH: 90 mins with bonus material
Wow, college sure has changed since the Dirge matriculated. Back in 1979, you were lucky to find a gal who would share a beer with you, let alone a long hard night of ass fucking. All those years ago, sex was still a dirty word, a barely mentioned means of keeping guys in line with the potential for poon. Fast forward to 2004 and girls are going wild, spring break is like lunchtime in Sodom and the ladies love to ream and steam, as long as they can invite their horny Sappho roommate and bi-curious boy friend in for the flesh frolic. The impression one gets from the mass media is that, in between binge drinks and post-game riots, the University student is up to his or her neck in nookie, or at least possible pulchritude. In the 70s, we were obsessed with pot and liquor. In the new millennium, it's group gangbangs and same sex shenanigans that make up most majors. In the late 70s, we snuck off to seedy downtown theaters to watch old school porn, avoiding the prying glances of perverts as we tried to find a dry seat. In 2004, kids make their own smut, forging hardcore hi-jinx out of body piercings and overdone tattoos. Don't believe it? Then take a look at Hustler DVD's new title Campus Confessions #10: In New York and see if secondary education isn't filled with hot pussy, gaping ass and all manner of big hard cock. The "students" featured in this 80 minute scene collection comprise a 30 story suspension bridge of disbelief to conquer when it comes to being actual entities of education. But in the physical arts of oral, anal and vaginal studies, these carnal co-eds really up their gratuitous grade point average.
Director Kat Slater has fashioned Campus Confessions #10 out of the secret desires of college co-eds. This installment of the series is apparently the first time the focus has been on Universities on the East Coast (though what the different location means is anyone's guess – perhaps an excuse to call one scene "Wall Streeters"?). Our host, the absolutely skeletal Kaylin (the cover refers to her by the single name of Sweet. What's up with that?) introduces each sequence with a barely comprehensible style that shuttles between stupidity and outright brain damage. Several edits have to be utilized for her to even get a single simple sentence out of her buck-toothed craw. Frankly, as a greeter for this title, a decaying corpse would have been a better choice. This gal's anorexic thin, concaved chest heinousness is enough to turn you off almost immediately. Someone with at least a single ounce of curvaceous subcutaneous fat would have been easier to follow along with. But Kaylin is it, and this means Campus Confessions #10 gets off on the wrong flat foot.
As for the individual scenes, once our emaciated narrator finishes fucking up the script, we see and/or hear another nubile young lass (or at least an actress hoping to appear as a teen to twenty co-ed head) describing her fantasy. The visual interpretation of same then unfolds. Dealing with each individually, we quickly learn that very little of this title is actually about cramming for exams. Usually it's dick being rammed into dumper that makes up the majority of these late night study sessions. We begin with:
Scene 1: In the Name of Science Lauren Phoenix, Tristan Seagul
Setting: A Laboratory
Hoping to discover the cure for genital warts, or some other manner of A to M transmitted disease, Lauren and her France-formed Mr. T spend a lot of time looking into microscopes. Sensing that staring at single celled organisms all day long makes Ms. Phoenix as randy as a dissected jackrabbit, Tristan uses the scientific method and makes his move on Lauren. She's very receptive to his foreplay formulations. After lots of kissing and fondling, with nipples licked and necks sucked, Tristan teaches Lauren all about the ancient Parisian practice of salad tossing. She loves it, especially with his French finger dressing and pussy pelting. He even offers her a dripping sample of the his and hers savories. With his cock banging against the zippered walls, Mr. Seagul needs release and Lauren is just the gal to provide it. She removes pecker from packaging and gives it a nice long blowjob, with plenty of ball and deep throat action. The couple then climbs on top of an examination table and starts fucking like freaked out freshmen, doggie style. Tristan even drives home the pile during the backdoor drilling. The butt becomes the next unexplored territory as our dirty duo experience anal spooning. There is some implied ass to mouth and a little crapper cowgirl to spice things up. Tristan, in typical French fashion, pulls out his cock every once in a while to see the splendid kookmahl that so reminds him of his homeland. After more bum fucking with actual crack to craw, Lauren loves TS's tool until he shoots his seed all over the lab.
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This is a fine first scene to start off the compilation. Lauren and Tristan look and work well together and a strong sexual chemistry is definitely present. Both performers build up a nice slick layer of sweat as they pound each other like government veal. While Lauren will occasionally look at the camera - a wasted gesture that adds nothing to the onscreen action - director Slater lets the passion play out and allows room for her actors to express their physical attraction to each other. With several A to M's, plenty of butt bonking and a steamy sense of enjoyment between our supposed lovers, this is an excellent offering of eros. Score: 9/10
Scene 2: Wall Streeter Alexa, Randy Spears
Setting: The Den of a Mansion
A young lady stays over after a super suave party has ended. The host has his eye on some barely legal bawdiness. Sex ensues. OK, so we've got Randy Spears here, one of the best, most professional pole-vaulters in the current lexicon of the lewd. And he's playing the kind of perv who plooks college girls. What could possibly go wrong? Well, Alexa could show up, for one. This horribly unattractive quasi-female ogre is fat, sloppy, dumpy and any other number of the sickening sect of the seven dwarves that you'd like to name. Spears must be doing a favor for somebody here as he allows this inhuman hump to fold, fondle and fornicate all over his superstar f0rm. They kiss, Randy sucks her skin sacks, she barely gets her mouth around his member and before you know it, they've fucked (both cowgirl and regularly) and Randy has deposited a porno present in Alexa's mealy mouth. Still, we do have to sit through several shots of this melanin-deficient gal as her closet-cured gray/green skin absorbs all the positive energy around it to just barely glow like a radiation victim after a hot tub turn in the cooling tank at Chernobyl. Along with several scary stares directly into the camera (guys at home who happen to be playing with their puds will instantly been sterilized by such grim gazing) and absolutely zero reaction on her face, this foul femme kills the carnality in this scene like a Great White during shark week. Score: .5/10
Scene 3: Anal Queen Tatiana, Jay
Setting: Jay's Bedroom
It's the classic older man/younger woman story, except in this case, the guy and the gal are both competing for "most mature" status. No matter how hard she tries to convince us that she is a student attending classes at the local college, Tatiana looks like a lifer barmaid at the neighborhood longshoreman's union. This rather long in the tooth lassie wants to give the gruff and tumble Jay the answer to all his anal prayers. Seems the dude has been living out his dumper dreams via a wide assortment of porn. After some kissing and fingering, pussy eating and dick sucking, our couple enjoys that magical number, 69. There is some cheek slapping and rancid rosebud poking. Tatty finally gives in to derriere deliciousness and Jay gets to enjoy his Johnson in the rear junk junction box. After reverse cowgirl, A to M, salad tossing and some butt bow-wow, the penetration is just too deep and Jay creams cum all over Tatiana's face. This is a decent scene with a couple of corrupting flaws. Director Slater moves away from her languid dynamic, getting in too close on the action. All we see most of the time are half cocks pumping in and out of orifices falling slightly out of frame. We never get to experience Jay and Tatty as a couple, which really cuts down on the sensuality. Besides, Tatiana has the ugliest, most meat-bearing labia ever to dangle over a sex scene like sausages near a crocodile pit. Similar to some guys and their stretched scrotum ball sacks, Tatiana needs the attention of a pussy practicing plastic surgeon fairly soon. Score: 6/10
Scene 4: Roommates Kimberly Kane, Eve
Setting: A College Apartment
After explaining how this pair of supposedly straight roommates becomes cunt-licking lovers, we witness the usual lesbian Olympics in all their hand helping glory. Indeed, for a couple of carpet munchers, these ladies barely snack on snatch throughout the entire scene. Instead, fingers and fists do the dirty work in what is, in essence, a very sexy jack-off scene. It is only during the 69 that we see tongue on twat. Yet the rather plain actresses here really get into the groove, generating a lot of horny heat with their fervent kissing and determined digital manipulation. Unlike most same-sex scenes where a couple of good-looking gals give faux homosexual poses to please the porn purveyors, this is realistic hardcore action at its most earnest. Perhaps too life-like. Our ladies could have used a make over and a couple of baths before taking to the XXX mons maneuvers in this scene. Still, it's definitely peter empowering stuff. Score: 6.5/10
Scene 5: Sister's Boyfriend/ Porn Stars
Camille, Seth, Lana, Brett Rockman
Setting: Apartment/ Unknown Living Room
This is a very strange scene. First Camille tells us the story of how she picked up her Sister's boyfriend in an acting class, and decided to take him home for some interfamilial fucking. Seth and Cammy gets all hot and steamy in the kitchen of her apartment, kissing and fondling. Eventually, our fellow thespian makes the grand gesture of ripping open Camille's embroidered black hose so he can get at that pussy. As he eats her out, Cam starts discussing their mutual fantasy about being porn stars. Suddenly, the scene shifts and we are watching Lana and Brett Rockman doing the dirty boogie. That's about all the explanation there is. We never see Camille or Seth again and Brett's already got his boner in Lana when the film catches up with them. They engage in some straight sex with deep penetration and Lana rides the range like a reverse cowgirl before the Rocker shoots all over her taut tits. Why the scene was crafted this way makes no sense. Were Camille and Seth some manner of real life performers who got cold cock and cooch when the time came to fuck on film? Or was this some manner of hardcore huckster act, using the old bait and switch to trade a couple of unexceptional people for the professional pussy pandering. Either way, the entire episode lacks flow and fire, resulting in a sex scene that is routine, not inventive or inviting. Score: 3/10
A few reviews on this site (and others) claim that the Campus Confession series features real life college students living out their fuck fantasies on film. That is very hard to believe. Of the females here, Lauren and Lana are definitely in the business and Kimberly Kane and Eve sure shuck and jive like the pros. Maybe it was just a misunderstanding. Perhaps these critics meant to insinuate that all the vignettes here are based on true stories. In either case, this still sounds like a big pile of mule shit to the old Dirge. Trading on the traditional tawdry topic of co-eds in bed with men twice their age (at least in Scenes 2 and 3) along with the usual on-campus carnality, this is just XXX daydream diversion, nothing more. Chalk one up for director Kat Slater. She mixes elements of gonzo with straightforward feature filmmaking to give this title the merest taste of the taboo. Most of the sex is captured in sensual sequences that really rate arousal and only in particular instances (casting Alexa, the mixing of Scene 5's freely divergent elements) does she stumble as a crafter of cock and cunt stuff. As a host, Kaylin can't read, is as attractive as an Auschwitz victim and serves absolutely no purpose in this film – unless, of course, you consider setting up her scene with Randy Spears (the poor guy, who does he owe money to?) in Campus Confessions #11 reason enough to toss her undernourished ribcage at us for 80 minutes. For the most part, Campus Confessions #10 delivers on its promise of uncovering the deepest, darkest secrets of your average University student. But oddly enough, there is not a single unshaved armpit, Burning Man T-shirt, or Dave Matthews Band CD in sight.
Looking very clean and crisp in its 1.33:1 video to film transfer, Campus Collections #10 offers a wonderfully colorful image. The contrasts allow for excellent – and sometimes inexcusable – detail (like the off-putting skin tone on Alexa) and both the indoor and outdoor footage looks fine. The blacks are solid and the general brightness is perfectly balanced. Though it doesn't constantly show us the most appealing porn particulars on the planet, the picture provided for Campus Confessions #10 is first rate.
Though it lacks the once-familiar facet of backing music during its sex sequences, the aural aspects of Campus Confessions #10 are excellent. Kaylin's voice is perfectly modulated, the actors and actresses can all be heard perfectly during their interpersonal exchanges (either friendly or sexual) and a sense of ambient space is generated by the Dolby Digital Stereo sonics. While we can see the occasional boom shadow crawling across the top of the screen, at least we hear everything that everyone is saying, or doing, distinctly.
Most of the bonus material here is just junk, product placement and merchandising come-ons to get you to purchase more Hustler style porn. Of the trailers, photo slide show, sex talk ads and promotions for Hustler's Superstore in California, there is not much that's dealing directly with the movie. We are treated to a brief interview with director Kat Slater, including some shots of her working on-set, but the scant running time – 4 minutes – ruins any attempt at thoroughness. The 8-minute behind the scenes segment is not much better. Focusing solely on Lauren Phoenix's scene with Tristan Seagul, we don't learn a lot about how adult movies are made. We do find out how often Ms. P douches her ass, and the start-stop dynamics of shooting a sequence of butt sex. But what we have here is more like uneventful eavesdropping, not actual insight into the hardcore industry.
Was your alma mater a wanton wasteland of available sexcapades and willing wenches just looking for the next available piece of wood to orally whittle? Thought not, but then again, you didn't go to Hustler's own intercollegiate institution – F. U. There you would find Jezebels jutting their hands in and out of their roommates, high powered investment bankers banging overweight Polish exchange students, and theater department denizens who manage to conjure up actual hardcore headliners with the drop of a thought. Campus Confessions #10 is a recommended romp onto a quaint quadrangle where every panty raid is serious sexual business. The sucking and fucking here is, for the most part, very erotic and on the Disco Dirge Peter Meter, our graduating class of ass manages a CUM laude entrance score of 5.5 out of 10 and earns its sheep dip skin with flying hump honors. Those in the habit of living together will enjoy the jock and juicy Jills included, meaning that a Cohabitation Certification is also granted. Though it fails to show any late night pizza raids, drunken vomiting or arguments over the significance of the musical output of Pink Floyd, this is one look at secondary education that will certainly bring back those miscreant memories of bygone days dealing with unbridled hormone hysterics. Campus Confessions #10 is just a few credits shy of earning a degree in advanced carnality. But it's sure fun to share a dorm room with.