The Gallery provides what every adult film fan wants in a DVD: unfocused pictures of sex that take up maybe a quarter if the screen. Woo hoo! Better content is found in the Bonus Scene, which features exotic, dark-skinned Fabiana prostituting herself to a swarthy European guy. In the process, she provides just about every service to him, while seated in what seems to be a sex chair. The sex is good if you focus on Fabiana, and not the giant red condom on her guy's tool.
As far as promo crap goes, you get a static Website screen and six Previews. Check out the Busta Nut for a good trailer and Shocking Secrets for the chance to scratch your head and wonder.
The scenes look well shot and brightly lit (with the exception of the nuclear-winter lighting in the fifth scene), though the quality is below the par of a bigger studio in terms of resolution. Detail is good, as seen in the blowjob scene with Melanie and Mario. His veiny cock comes across clear as crystal.
The audio is very plain stereo, with no music during the sex scenes. I would prefer them this way, than have all music and no sex sounds. The squishing is what makes it real for me. If I wanted a sexy music video, I'd watch commercials.
Body of Review:
This was my first review of a Smash Pictures production, which is always exciting, because seeing a studio's work for the first time can be a chance to find a new source for good porn. Of course, the reverse is possible too. Considering they label their scenes by who's in them (a helpful feature for reviewers like myself) and break scenes down by act, they were off to a good start before I saw the first penetration.
Each scene opens with a glamour solo sequence before getting down to business. Let's see if business is good:
I liked Barbara the moment I saw her, probably because she reminded me of Denise Richards. Then, she dove into an enthusiastic blowjob and I knew she was the girl for me. Renato's no slouch in the oral department either, prepping Barbara for his entry. The duo go at it hard and heavy, moving from the front door to the back, with some ATM action thrown in for good measure. This was a hot scene, with a satisfying end.
Oral (M/F), Vaginal, Facial
Reverse Cowgirl, Spoons
I don't know what is about Lea, but I thought of Jo from "The Facts of Life," and that's hardly what you want to think about when watching porn. Though, now that I look closer, I see Daphne Zuniga's older sister. I don't know why, though. In the scene here, Lea/Jo/Daphne gives one of the longest blowjobs I've ever seen. I got up and went to read The Feminine Mystique and came back and she still wasn't done. The actual intercourse here is very short, though good. I have to say though, the bumps on Lea/Jo/Daphne's crotch were hardly attractive.
Oral (M/F), Vaginal, Anal, Facial
Reverse Cowgirl, Side Entry, Missionary, Piledriver, Standing Doggie
"Are you having the sex?" Five words that will kill an erection quicker than a knee to the balls. That's what we hear as Melanie and Mario are about to get down with each other. So the sex is interrupted by the solo scene, but eventually we get to see Melanie wrap her lips around a stiff one, making Mario very happy. He oral style is very sensuous, with cute little sounds of enjoyment. Melanie lets him enter all her ports after some oral lubrication on his part, and he sets sail for enjoyment, banging her every which way possible. A hefty facial puts a capper on some solid sex.
Oral (M/F), Vaginal, Anal, Facial
Cowgirl, Doggie, Spoons
This is like celebrity look-a-like porn. Here we have Lora, a girl reminiscent of Geena Davis, with long legs and bright blonde hair, though her breasts could use some help. Her pink pussy is fine though, as Ricardo finds out soon enough, as well as her mouth, which sucks him in like a hoover. A lot of tongue work on the head and balls puts her oral over the top. The sex is mainly in spoons position, though we get a great look at her cowgirl ride. If you've wanted to see (someone who looks like) Geena Davis take a facial, here's your chance.
Wrapping up the party is a Tiffany, a goofy-looking blonde with an amazing body. Following the well-estabished routine, a solo scene is followed by a skilled BJ, before Tiff and her inflated fun bags give Clark a good time. A reverse ride on the baloney pony gets Tiffany's tits a poppin', but its otherwise very robotic. You don't get a real sense of passion from this scene, likely because Tiff's moan doesn't change no matter what's happening. I wonder if she sounds the same when she's cutting coupons. We do get a good look at a missionary anal entry, but it doesn't look any less like a paycheck job.
Most of the action here is very good, though it all follows something of a script. I can't say I understand the title, as none of the girls look particularly young, and in some cases look weathered. The back of the box tries to explain it as "Girls this hot ought to be illegal, but they're not." Sorry...they aren't that hot. I can tell you this though: you'll enjoy this as a rental.