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Cum Sucking Whore Named Judy Star, A


Studio: Anabolic » Review by Disco Dirge » Review Date: 8/22/04


XCritic's Advice: Watch On Demand

GENRE: Gonzo Compilation
DIRECTOR: Christopher Alexander, Jon Dough, Mike John, Buffy Malibu
STARS: Judy Star, Erik Everhard, Jon Dough, Lexington Steele, Belladonna, Kaylynn, Angel, Kyle Stone, Pat Myne, Joel Lawrence, Brian Pumper, Jay Ashley, Justin Slayer, Bobby Vitale, Scott Styles, Mario, Tyce Bune, Mr. Marcus
DATES OF PRODUCTION: 2001-2002
LENGTH: 140 mins with bonus material

Pity the poor whore - again. That wanton wench, that symbol of social shunning representing the ultimate exploration of female degradation has, somehow, managed to get an even WORSE reputation in the last few years, thanks in no small part to the porno industry. Where once adult actresses fought like heavily caffeinated ferrets over the reference that they were any kind of harlot or lewd lady of the night, now an entire generation of babes far too young to remember what was behind the green door have embraced the embarrassing label like a bold badge of dis-honor. Operating under the false illusion that men love their featured female fuckers like the loose-caboosed crack slags hanging out down by the Port Authority, XXX performers are now putting on the skank for an ever diminishing hardcore hierarchy. If you listen to the proclivity procurers in the marketing realm of the ribald, the more miscreant a Miss can act, the more scandalous her schism. In essence, the more dick and drippings she'll take on (and in her), the more readily the gents will spend their cents.

That may explain A Cum Sucking Whore Named Judy Star. Actually, a bad upbringing and a good case of early age molestation may provide a more exact clarification, but that's another story all together. Anabolic has decided to compile some of the best – and the Dirge does use that term VERY loosely – scenes in her hardcore career and feature them on a single, unexceptional DVD. It's not that Judy is unattractive (more on these matter later) or unskilled at the old 'in and out". But since Ms. Star is capitalizing on an 'anything goes' idealism that renders her emotionally – and sometimes physically – unimportant to a scene, what we end up with are five sequences of gonzo, 'go for broke' balling for dollars. Indeed, A Cum Sucking Whore Named Judy Star becomes the very dictionary definition of a prostitute: a lassie doing it for cashie without any connection to the participating prick.

The DVD:
Before we begin the scene-by-scene breakdown, lets first deal with the 'concept' of Judy Star, OK. Now, it is clear to the Dirge why this jailbait-looking lady is such a popular product in the world of porn. She incorporates a girl next-door kind of sluttiness that meshes perfectly with her 'gimme more meat' attitude toward sex. Therefore, guys who fancy a refresher course in high school age action (perhaps because they never really got any the first time around) will take one look at Judy's surfer girl meets smut cunt and start touching themselves in unclean ways. The fact that she can fire up the fuck briar with her front and back door dynamics is totally irrelevant. She could be the worst lay since penis first met pussy and her pert little perkiness will still make the males all masturbate. For them, her carnal capabilities are like copious whipped cream on top of a pair of DD titties.

But this does not mean A Cum Sucking Whore Named Judy Star is some manner of pornographic Rosetta stone, a blueprint for all blue chip clip comps to come. Instead, one gets the distinct impression – aside from the obvious truth in advertising of the title – that there is far better Judy Star material out in the world of adult entertainment. The scenes here are, for the most part, poorly directed, atrociously edited and about as engrossing or engorging as a trip to Branson, Missouri. Three of them (Scenes 1, 4 and 5 to be exact) are made up of multiple partners and, thanks to the retardation of the staging, it is next to impossible to figure out who's fleecing whom. If all you want to see are dicks drilling, pillaging and bradawling some underage-ish trim, then A Cum Sucking Whore Named Judy Star is just the jousting you've been waiting for. The fact that Ms. Star will also slurp any and all "cummers" to her sexual scenarios, swallowing their spurt with a churlish girlish glee, is par for the whore porn course.

Looking at the individual sequences here, it is hard to provide a blow-by-blow, or poke-by-poke breakdown. So instead, the Dirge will list out the acts and then try to explain how they fit into the scene. Let's begin with:

Scene 1: Judy Star, Erik Everhard, Jon Dough
From: World Sex Tour #24 (2001)
Director: Christopher Alexander
Acts Engaged In: Tit Sucking, Ass Eating, F to M Oral x 2, Doggy, V to M, Aggressive Reverse Cowgirl, Cowgirl, Spooning, Spanking, Doggy Pile Driver, Vaginal DP Cowgirl Style, $hot in Mouth, Swallowing
Looking like a couple of serial killers discussing the best way to clean and dress a victim, Erik and Jon sit by a WAY too loud fire and reflect on fucking a cum sucking whore named Judy Star. Erik especially enjoyed the experience, mentioning how much he fancied Judy's "12 year old vibe". Ew! Anyway, we cut to the scene and our threesome is relaxing on a Toronto rooftop. Before you know it, the guys are crawling all over Judy like ants on a salted nut goodie. Throughout the incredibly sloppy sex of this 2o-some minute marathon of mediocrity, Erik pretends he is Euro fast fucking fiend JPX and constantly pounds Ms. Star's snatch like he's working out the dents in her fender. Jon, on the other hand, lives up to his limp last name as his cock is constantly in a state of semi-softness. Even when Judy makes it her purpose to puff up the peter, all he can respond with is a tool of taffy. Even through the horrible editing, out of sequence shot selection (Judy rides Jon with a ripe red ass. Next setup, her butt is stark white. Then she hopes on Erik and he provides the butt bashing that gave those cheeks their previous rosy glow) and far too extreme close-ups, Judy does look like she's enjoying herself. Too bad the only passion you'll feel from this outdoor dullness is a fervor to hit fast forward. Score: 4 out of 10

Scene 2: Judy Star, Eric Everhard

-- sponsored by --

From: Bring 'Um Young #6 (2001)
Director: Jon Dough
Acts Engaged In: M to F oral, Vagina Fingering, 69, F to M oral, Face Fucking, Ball Pulling, Tit Fucking, Aggressive Spooning, Aggressive Reverse Cowgirl, Strange F to M Thigh Slapping, French Kissing, Cowgirl, Doggie, Scissors, Choking, V to M x 5+, Doggie Pile Driver, Straight Sex with Choking, $hot in Mouth, Swallowing
Since we are dealing with a straightforward sequence of one-on-one action, it is safe to say that this, and Scene 3, are the best segments in A Cum Sucking Whore Named Judy Star. Though very vocal throughout, there is really not much chemistry between Judy and Erik. He acts like he's hot shit. She appears to act like she's doing him some manner of favor. Together, they become a porno clichι: decent looking couple engaging in every position imaginable. The end result is a fuck fest with very little flow, hardly any eros and a wee bit too much cunt to mouth maneuvering. Erik believes in the rapid-fire approach to fornication and never met a sexual arrangement he couldn't ramrod his way through. Judy loves to showcase her double tongue piercing and gives far too many longing looks into the camera. Overall, non-discriminating adult entertainment lovers will probably like the licking and sticking that goes on between Judy and Erik. But for those of us who prefer their hardcore more on the humane side, this rough and tumble trauma will only fulfill night terrors, not fantasies. Score: 4.5 out of 10

Scene 3: Judy Star, Lexington Steele
From: Up You Ass#19 (2002)
Director: Mike John
Acts Engaged In: F to M Oral, Doggy, Cowgirl, Scissors, Deep Penetration, Anal Scissors, Straight Anal, Anal Doggy Pile Driver, A to M, A to Vagina (Implied), V to M, Anal Reverse Cowgirl, $hot on Face and Mouth, Swallowing
Starting off with a statement that is so borderline racist that it won't be repeated here (something about Judy needing an unclean African American cock to satisfy her need for an anus flouncing, using far more vulgar slang) Ms. Star gets a snatch and shitter full thanks to Lex's super-sized dong. Judy can hardly get the head of the thing in her mouth and even tries to deep throat the massive member. During the fucking, Judy feigns like she's all tight and virginal, giving the impression that such a large black peter would never find room in her womb. Well, that's a bald pussy lie since Mr. Steele has no problem poking Judy any way he wants. Surprisingly, there is much more chemistry here between Judy and Lex than in any other pairing on the DVD. This is mostly due to how much Lex loves bonking the bigot out of Judy. But there is also something primal about seeing a strong muscular black man dominating a petite white girl that's 400 years of racial insensitivity satisfying. Too bad Mr. Steele has to go and spoil it all by blowing his load too quickly. He barely gets his cock out of Judy's cunt before he's shooting sperm streamers around the room. Such a potty-mouthed Miss needed a full spunk dump to keep her quiet. Lex can only give her a small sampling. Score: 4.5 out of 10.

Scene 4: Judy Star, Belladonna, Kaylynn
From: Nasty Girls #26 (2001)
Director: Buffy Malibu
Acts Engaged In: Tit Sucking, 69, Salad Tossing, Fingering with Savor Sampling, Face Sitting, Strap On Fucking, Strap On Sucking, Hand Held Toy Action, Post-Climax Cunnilingus
They say that hot lesbian action is every man's fantasy. They say watching women indulge in the forbidden desires of Sappho is the shot of espresso in the sexual mocha latte. Well, whoever it is that is doing all this talking has never seen Judy, Bella and Kaylynn try to tantalize us with what could best be described as a bad game of girl-on-girl Twister. Utilizing a strange strap-on stiffee that is worn around the thigh (???), the gals get gonged in a manner that looks like they are kneeing, not porking, each other in the groin. Then to make matters worse, the abysmal direction takes over and you soon realize you can't tell what the fuck is going on. These girls could be preparing for the SATs for all we know, since the camera manages to miss a healthy portion of the hardcore. Unlike other scenes in this compilation, Judy is merely an afterthought here, floating around the outside of the action, contributing a cunt or a tongue when necessary. And since no one squirts, or even lets out a little piss, there is nothing here for Judy to ingest. So never let anyone tell you that A Cum Sucking Whore Named Judy Star is wall-to-wall jizz and juice, 'cause it's not. This scene is bone - and boner – dry. Score: 2 out of 10

Scene 5: Judy Star, Angel, Half the Male Porn Stars in the Western Hemisphere...and then some (actually, it's Kyle Stone, Pat Myne, Joel Lawrence, Brian Pumper, Jay Ashley, Justin Slayer, Bobby Vitale, Scott Styles, Mario, Tyce Bune, Mr. Marcus)
From: The Gang Bang Girl #31 (2001)
Director: Christopher Alexander
Acts Engaged In: Umm... you name it, they do it.
By their very nature, a gangbang appeals to a certain sexual mentality. There can't be a desire to see something passionate or fiery. More times than not, the positions and proclivities are not important. And when it comes right down to it, the adult aficionado who enjoys the multiple violation of a Miss could really give a shit if the gals are benefiting or belittled by all the dick attention. Nope, what a lover of the group grope wants to see is one or two honeys getting their holes plugged by as much meat as they can take. So when Angel and Judy sign up to service some hard up hunks at a bachelor party (actually, they're more like a marauding mob of freelance sexual harassers) they get more than their mons veneris worth. This 45 minute – yep, that's Ύ quarters of an hour, hardcore fans – free-for-all is the visual equivalent of a downed diver encircled by a school of pussy-starved sharks. The guys are constantly fluffing their fuck rods and roaming around the outskirts of the adult shop set, hoping to find a place to plow their peter that won't turn the sequence into some bi-curious exercise.

Yet the most nauseating aspect of this scene, and the DVD frankly, arrives at the very end. Angel and Judy, screwed, skewed and tool tattooed, simple lay back as dude after dude drowns them in dong dipping sauce. As each load arrives, the girls save the spunk like chipmunks hoarding nuts for the winter. When their cheek pouches are plump, it's time to imbibe and, sure enough, the ladies enjoy a bukkake frappe as pints of peter pudding slip down gullets. Angel, however, is not a bottomless cum bucket like Judy, so she decides to snowball the ball brine betrothed babe. Heck, Ms. Star loves semen so much that she licks it off Angel's body, lets it drip out of the Winged One's ass and into her craw and even laps the last bit of log loogie from Ms. A's dripping twat. Talk about taking your title far too seriously! This grotesque sharing of spunk is the final nail in the nasty coffin containing A Cum Sucking Whore Named Judy Star. Score: 1 out of 10.

This is, frankly, one of the worst porn compilations the poor old Dirge has laid his eyes on. Not because the sex is shabby or slow-witted. Indeed, this is hardcore gonzo at its most gratuitous and exploitative. No, the problem with A Cum Sucking Whore Named Judy Star is the overall amateur feel to the production, even when recognizable names from the adult industry show up to lend a cock or two. Anabolic prides itself on a kind of home movie mentality to sex, hoping for a "captured as it happened" dynamic while still using obvious planned out mannerisms like camera angles, scene staging and cutting room choreography. But what all the directors here lack is an ability to focus on what makes fucking fun...and financially feasible. Individuals indulging their dollars in XXX material are doing so to fulfill a need, to get their rocks or rack off on some manner of voyeuristic intent. But with A Cum Sucking Whore Named Judy Star, we get an actress that is so uninhibited, that gets so lost in the libido of fucking onscreen that she forgets to connect with the crowd. She seems to be willing to do anything to make the hardcore audience happy, but she's too robotic, too insular in her responses to make us care for the carnality. Aside from the big gamble of creating a compilation around one performer (beyond the fan base issues, some LOVE Judy while others dismiss her as a phony fuck machine), letting him or her 'go wild' without any acknowledgement of the paying customer means the sex remains static, not steamy. Judy Star is indeed a cum-sucking whore. But she is also a sham, a beautiful blow-up doll without a lick of personality.

The Video:
Since it is a compilation of clips from other titles and differing directorial styles, A Cum Sucking Whore Named Judy Star is a mixed bag of transfer types. Mostly, we get color correct shots in focus with very little problems with contrast and clarity. Almost everything here is portable handheld video camera quality with very little flaring or bleeding in the images. Still, this is by no means a home theater treat. You will definitely believe that you too could record pornography on your camcorder as the 1.33:1 full screen picture plays on your TV. This is above-average amateur material at best.

The Audio:
There is an interesting aspect to A Cum Sucking Whore Named Judy Star, one that more porn providers should mimic. On the main menu, there is an option to click on the audio setup. When you do, you are asked if you would like to see scenes with...or without music. The Dirge has long complained about the lack of backing ambiance in most modern adult titles and the fact that Anabolic would offer a choice is so novel as to seem genius. Those who do not want their sex sounds stifled by neo-new age electronica punk funk can now turn off the tunes and wallow in the wantonness completely unaccompanied. Others, like this old fashioned critic, can kick out the jams as sexual underscoring creates a sonic setting in pure Dolby Digital Stereo sound – sort of.

The Extras:
Anyone hoping for a bonus scene or biography of the featured fuck film star here will be gravely disappointed. All Anabolic provides as added content are a cumshot option (boring) a gallery of onset snapshots (far too small and dull) and some website information (zzzz). Along with a few trailers that do a decent job of selling other hardcore titles from the XXX company, there is really nothing else enclosed on this digital presentation to press you for a purchase.

Final Thoughts:
Frankly, how much you'll enjoy A Cum Sucking Whore Named Judy Star is relative solely to how much the titular tart spring loads your loins. If you pop wood the minute this brash babe bares her business, then you'll love watching her get hornswaggled from every possible position. But if you're like the Dirge and think this is far too much ado about snatch stuffing, then this compilation collection will leave you relatively rigidity-free. On the Disco Dirge Peter Meter, A Cum Sucking Whore Named Judy Star is awarded a paltry 3.5 out of 10 and is recommended as a rental, only. Unless you love this Canadian cocksucker or are some manner of cum-eating completist, a quick spin in your DVD player and a return to the overnight deposit slot is more than enough financial involvement with this unexciting adult entertainment. Couples will fail to connect with all the load lunching, so the Dirge will simply hang onto the Cohabitation Certification. Oddly enough, in Bubble Cum #2, Judy Star (credited with one extra 'r' for some reason) was one of the highlights: a more than capable partner to the wishy-washy wang wrangling of some dope named Eryc (he deserves to have performance anxiety with a dumbass porn name like that). Obviously a great deal has changed in the few years since these scenes were first filmed (and The Dirge ain't talking about Judy's hair color). A Cum Sucking Whore Named Judy Star redefines the concept of the slut for all future generations. The standard streetwalker should rejoice: ladies like Judy make their body selling seem like an act of charity compared to the degradation the modern XXX tramp is willing to endure.





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