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Legal Skin #14

Studio: Smash Pictures » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 10/26/04

XCritic's Advice: Watch On Demand

Legal Skin 14

Smash Pictures

Genre: Vignette, Young Women

Director: Jordan Heart

Cast: Amanda, Bruno, Nikky Blond, Mya Diamond, James Brossman, Mandy Bright, Frank Gun, Jennifer, Dorina, Judy White, Nick Lang, Lauro Giotto

Length: ~86.5 minutes (there wasn't a time code again)

Date of Production: 3/9/2004

Extra's: I wasn't expecting any great extras this time since Smash Pictures tends to focus all their resources on the movie and none on the extras for DVD (maybe they'll join the rest of us in the 21st century some day and remember that DVD has all but replaced VHS; of course, by then, we'll have moved onto something even better but I digress). The extras here consisted of a cumshot recap, some trailers and a photogallery slide show. I'd like to point out that for a bare minimum, a behind the scenes feature, deleted footage, or even a bonus scene is considered mandatory these days to make a rental worth buying according to several informal surveys.

Condoms: None

Audio/Video Quality: The picture was presented in the usual 1.33:1 ratio full frame color, as most such movies are released these days. The fleshtones were accurate and the other colors pretty solid too but there was a fair amount of grain and some compression artifacts on display throughout the movie. If you're not too picky (meaning if you get the DVD free or have never seen another one in your life), none of that will bother you but I expect more from a company devoting all of its energy to the movie with lame extras. The audio was presented in the usual stereo MPEG format that the company uses in all its movies. At first, I thought there was no separation between the channels but then I amped it up a bit and noticed that the music all came from one side and the vocals from the other. If that's not a messed up job of DVD mastering, what is? There was also some dubbing that was on par with some of the weaker Private movies but I doubt any of you will be getting this one for the audio, if you know what I mean. To sum up the technical aspects, there were a ton of rough edges that professionals are supposed to handle but this is low end porn so you really shouldn't expect much.

-- sponsored by --

Body of Review: Long having been a fan of director Jimmy D, I've tried to get some of his more recent work to review from Smash Pictures. To date, I've had to settle for a couple of his colleagues works including the fun Camel Toe Perversions and the lame Stocking Secrets, but I'm hopeful that I'll eventually get to see if his talent is as good as he claims (insider joke from an interview I did with him earlier this year; sadly, it was lost along with several others that I longed to share with y'all). The latest release I saw from the company, Legal Skin 14, is yet another generic "Barely Legal" knockoff with little going for it aside from a couple of talented and hot gals. To be upfront, few of the gals could sanely be classified as young and the advertised "world's wildest skin" certainly must've been dreamed up by a copywriter that never saw the actual movie but it had a few worthwhile moments worth sharing with you. Here's a quick breakdown of the scenes by cast:

Scene One: Amanda, a brunette with implants and the mechanical attitude that so turns off many fans in the USA, was up first in a scene with Bruno. The two played house cleaners that got out of hand when the lady of the house left them alone. The scene included some oral by each, some vaginal and a lot of anal with a facial but there wasn't any spark between them and even a jaded old porn reviewer like me can discern between energetic screwing and chemistry (it had plenty of energy but no chemistry to speak of). Like the other gals here, she looked to be in her late 20's (or so) with a hardened attitude I couldn't enjoy much.

Scene Two: Nikky, the blonde on the front cover gave me hope for a better second scene as she danced at the strip club in a large cage, she was joined by Mya, a brunette with an equally attractive face, if not body, and James was the lucky stud to nail both of them. Nikky was the primary cock socket here and did what was obviously asked of her but again, the lack of any true passion made the scene a bit sad to watch. For those who care, Nikky did anal and Mya did ATM from her friend's ass but the sex was just as mechanical as the first scene.

Scene Three: Mandy, one of the most sought after gals in the jizz bizz worldwide, had a scene with Frank in his store after he lamented to James (dressed up like a dime store cowboy) about how lousy business was going. I thought there'd be some DP action but James left and Frank had to take care of her by himself. I noticed that he looked really old here, partly due to the Republican haircut he sported and partly because his face looked so drawn but I still have come to expect a lot out of the guy and my fingers were crossed that he could break the apparent curse this DVD had placed on it. I like Mandy and find her very sexually attractive so perhaps my rose colored glasses took over but I really liked the scene and thought it was full of chemistry. I know they've worked together many times and each gave it their all here with great oral, good vaginal, and super anal taking place. I wish the scene were three times longer but that's as much due to the other scenes being lame as anything else.

Scene Four: Jennifer and Dorina, an attractive blond and brunette, had the next scene in an office while admiring a really goofy looking vase. They dropped it and the next thing you know, a lesbian porn scene took place in typical porn fashion (meaning: with no real reason for one to take place). The gals looked good with one another but seemed awkward in their administrations of the action here, giving some oral to one another, doing the rubbing action, and plenty of toy play in the pussy and ass to keep fans happy. The scene was weak due to the common lack of chemistry here and even the energy wasn't up to par with the other scenes but at least they looked good, something many lesbian scenes elsewhere can't claim.

Scene Five: Judy, a blond that looked to be a bit older than Mandy but still handsome overall, took on both Nick and Lauro after they found her ring (from the broken vase in the previous scene). The scene wasn't bad overall although never approaching Mandy's in terms of chemistry and energetic boning. I think it was fair in how the oral took place but her anal with a DP seemed as good as most mid-level Private movies made in the past five years on probably one third the budget. I didn't think the scene was great but it was passable, something most of the scenes couldn't be defined as.

Summary: I think all the women were attractive on some level and each gave an energetic performance but the lack of chemistry in over half the scenes was enough for me to lower my rating to a Rent It. If you don't mind mindless automatons screwing in front of the camera for you, you'll doubtless enjoy it more than I did but I've grown past the point where I'm happy just to see a naked chick bone on camera to get off. Mandy and Judy were the best in terms of overall action and the others would fight it out for most attractive so check it out if this type of thing appeals to you. In the meantime, I'll be trying to hunt down a couple of Jimmy's movies to see if he is really as good as I want to believe him to be.

Note: You can see recent candid shots of none of these performers by visiting: My Photo's and read about their antics at 2004 AEE Show.


You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon

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