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Wet Teen Panties Vol. 2

Studio: Simon Wolf Productions » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 11/7/04

XCritic's Advice: Skip It

Wet Teen Panties #2

Simon Wolf Bold/Illicit Pictures/Pure Play Media

Genre: Vignette

Director: Robert Herrera

Cast: Aspen Stevens, Chris Cannon, Shawnie, Jean Valjean, Iyesha, Tristan Seagal, Estella, Joey Ray, Aurianna Love, Dillion Day

Length: 96.5 minutes

Date of Production: 7/9/2004 to 7/22/2004 (box), 1/14/2004, 1/15/2004 (credits)

Extra's: Sadly, the only extras this time were some trailers and a photogallery with no bonus scene as advertised. Maybe someone slipped up and left it off or maybe the box cover was designed by a goofus but that lowered the value for me considerably. I was further saddened to find that a Behind the Scenes feature was not present on the DVD even though famed publicist Don Fischer was listed as the guy in charge of it.

Condoms: None

Audio/Video Quality: The picture was presented in the usual 1.33:1 ratio full frame color, as originally shot. The lighting was decent with few shadows or other flaws and no grain to speak of. There were no obvious compression artifacts and the purely technical nature of the scenes was okay. The artistic aspect of the scenes left much to be desired though with some camera jerking going on and bad camera angles. Watching this release, I had to double check the cover to make sure it was a Simon Wolf movie more than once; even the editing was jerky. Maybe director Robert Herrera was breaking in a new cameraman and editor this time but I wasn't happy with how it looked in general. The audio was presented in the usual stereo English with minimal separation between the channels and limited dynamic range. The music was very generic this time and while I wasn't ecstatic over the sound, it was still better than the visuals most of the time.

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Body of Review: Over the years, I've been one of the biggest fans of a little company known as Simon Wolf. They started off by having Adam & Eve distribute their releases and eventually grew into a nice little porn producer who is today distributed by the powerhouse Pure Play Media. Having watched the company fairly closely, including a number of dramas started by wannabe consumer advocates (with an axe to grind and a hidden agenda), I've rallied for them to succeed in order to watch more of their stuff; especially since I've observed how good it can be. That said, like the Boston Red Sox, the company doesn't always hit a home run and their latest movie, Wet Teen Panties #2, was one such flawed event. I believe the movie was made during the transition from the company's independent status to it being distributed by Pure Play Media; and having been involved in a move myself recently, I know how much can go wrong during such times. The movie was a set of five vignettes where the females all wore pretty panties with wet spots and followed a routine that can be best described as a formula. Here's a look at the scenes and then a brief commentary about the discrepancies between the box cover and the actual contents of the release:

Scene One: Aspen, one of the cutest brunettes I've ever met at a porn convention (see below), started off the show with a little bit of tease footage. The camera hovered a bit too close for my tastes but I can't deny her appeal as eye candy. After slowly rubbing herself on a couch, Chris joined her and the two did some warmish oral before a leisurely paced screwing. I admit that I couldn't look away (she's "that" cute) but like her other scenes, she didn't appear to be into the action with limited energy and chemistry.

Scene Two: Shawnie, one of the hottest blondes in porn these days having shed her baby fat recently, had a scene with Jean on a bed after warming herself up by an outdoor swimming pool. They each got in a little oral before the screwing began and she showed a little more energy than the last gal but nothing even approaching what I've seen her do elsewhere. In the end, she took an eye shot when he came and it was okay to watch once.

Scene Three: Iyesha, a lean brunette that I haven't seen a lot of as she's new to the jizz bizz, rubbed her crotch a bit through her lingerie while Tristan checked her out. They then followed the formula and did the oral with straight routine, and it was routine, before a tiny pop shot (he's been working too hard obviously). I wanted to like her scene but it lacked anything other than her looks and that simply isn't enough for a guy like me.

Scene Four: Estella, another really cute brunette with larger breasts and a willing smile, was up next as she masturbated on some stairs before Joey joined her. They followed the formula and my hopes got higher as she started to show some enjoyment out of the scene but it ended before she could really let loose and that killed it for me. By this point in time, I was wondering if I was really watching a Simon Wolf release or if someone slipped me a generic release from a third (or fourth) tier company. My experiences with Simon Wolf have been too positive to think this was a fluke.

Scene Five: Aurianna, a brunette with a lean body (though not as lean as Estella) and a mixed heritage (Latino?), and Dillion were up next. I've seen him power-fuck some of the hottest gals in the business and now that he's back to making porn, I had high hopes he'd be able to turn this puppy around with his aggressive style but yet again, I wondered what happened. On the plus side, the scene had more energy than all the others but the down side was that it seemed very limited in terms of what I should reasonably expect these days from a Simon Wolf porno. Oral and straight, vanilla, sex has an appeal if the gals are young and fresh but none of the women here had enough spark to give me the slightest warmth from their performances.

Summary: Okay, if you've looked at the front DVD cover (or the back cover for that matter) you'll see a picture of new performer Emily DaVinci and a lean blonde gal. On the back cover was the usual banter about who was in the movie and what they did too. Mysteriously, the listed cast was completely absent and neither of the cover gals was in the show. The missing bonus scene and Behind the Scenes feature also disappointed me but nothing was as bothersome as the lack of energy and chemistry during the sex scenes. For all these reasons, I had to rate the movie as a Skip It; something I was loath to do given the usual nature of the company's releases. I guess it proves that everyone drops the ball once in a while; making Simon Wolf the latest to get caught short in a rare instance where they didn't provide what was advertised. If you're a fan of the actual cast you might want to pick this up in the bargain bin someday but don't pay too much as it wasn't much fun.

Note: You can see recent candid shots of several of these performers by visiting: My Photo's and read about their antics at 2004 AEE Show.

You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon

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