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Heidi Fleiss Secrets of the Hollywood Madam

Studio: Lava Releasing » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 11/11/04

XCritic's Advice: Skip It

Heidi Fleiss, Secrets of the Hollywood Madam

Phoenix Releasing

Genre: Vignette

Director: Jim Steel

Cast: Michelle Michaels, Steven St. Croix, Brooke, Ava Ramon, Kyle Stone, Cherokee, Nikki Loren, Julian, Nicole Sheridan, Christi Lee, Voodoo, Audrey Hollander, Otto Bauer

Length: 85.5 minutes

Dates of Production: 5/15/2004, 5/16/2004 (credits), 9/2004 (box)

Extra's: The only extras were a 3.5 minute feature for interviews and a trailer to the show (pretty slim pickings, if you know what I mean).

Condoms: Yes

Audio/Video Quality: The picture was presented in widescreen color, as originally shot in high definition. The lighting varied, causing more grain than I liked, and there was some pattern noise to contend with as well as some compression artifacts pixelating during a couple of scenes. Overall though, I think it looked pleasing but the camera angles were somewhat lame at times too; keeping me from seeing all the action. The audio was presented in the usual stereo English but the generic music wasn't mixed all that well and the vocals suffered for it. Be forewarned though; the DVD didn't play in my home player and Windows Media Player wasn't all that well suited for it either.

-- sponsored by --

Body of Review: Over ten years ago, the police in California busted one of the most successful madams the world has ever known, Heidi Fleiss, also known as The Hollywood Madam. Her list of clientele included many executives and powerful people in the entertainment industry, reportedly including Charlie Sheen (as one example) as a regular. She served her sentence and it was always speculated about when her book would come out so that the rest of the world could enjoy the nasty little secrets Heidi had to offer. All the comedians of late night television were handed a lot to work with as the legal case against her progressed through the system, with Dennis Miller being the funniest. Now, in conjunction with Phoenix Releasing, her story was said to be told in a little DVD known of as Heidi Fleiss, Secrets of the Hollywood Madam. Sadly, the marketing hype surrounding the DVD's release was just that; hype. Taking footage from a short interview with the famed madam, a handful of generic porn scenes were thrown in to make it look as though Heidi was going to either direct or at least give people some specific pointers about her work. In the end, nothing was further from the truth but here's a breakdown of the cast, noting that the cast identities were not overly well done on the DVD:

Scene One: Michelle, a gal with dirty blond hair and an all natural body, started off the sex in a scene with Steven on a deck outdoors. With all the hype this release got, I was expecting some mind-blowing sex or at least something out of the ordinary but this scene sure didn't meet those expectations. Don't get me wrong; I'm sure her blowjob felt good to him and the repetitive vaginal boning might've felt good too but it looked as boring as I've seen in a long time. I was hoping it would get better as the scenes continued but I had a feeling I'd be in for more of the same old action, something I certainly didn't care to see.

Scene Two: Brooke, a nice looking blonde, and Ava, an attractive brunette, were next up in a scene beside a pool with Kyle. In terms of looks, they were more attractive than the last gal so already things were looking up. The gals stripped before taking turns blowing him on the edge of the pool, something about as tame as having sex in the shower with your wife. Kyle then went down on them while they masturbated each other, licking and sucking pussy as well as ass while they moaned in a generic fashion. My concerns about vanilla sex were once again confirmed as they screwed in a mechanical way that conveyed only the slightest bit of energy and no chemistry at all. Fans of facials will be disappointed that the gals jerked him off into the air, letting not a single drop touch them as it flew into the air. Boring!

Scene Three: Cherokee, one of the highlights of porn for me this past year, and located on the middle of the lower front DVD cover with Julian, enjoyed a shower scene with him, Nikki, and Brooke(again?). It wasn't a bad porn scene but that's all it was; a generic porn scene, something I could get from anywhere else. For the most part, the performers were lifeless and dull, making me wonder if they were focusing on a clock somewhere in the background. Cherokee was the most involved in the actual sex (the other two concentrated on a lesbian tryst), a good idea in my opinion, but even she couldn't save the day this time. Like the other scenes to this point, the sex was oral and straight only with no flare, imagination or chemistry.

Scene Four: Nicole, one of the most attractive blondes in the jizz bizz, Christi, a cute gal with an air of freshness about her, and Voodoo, all had a scene on a wicker chair together. Again, the oral and vaginal sex wasn't bad but I've seen Nicole and Voodoo completely rock so a threesome where he gets blown, a handjob and a simple screw really struck me as filler material. Even the anal sex seemed weak for them and that was just a shame. The strap on dildo lesbian action had potential but this too was squandered and the scene was barely worth watching for me.

Scene Five: Audrey, the redhead on the lower right hand side of the front DVD cover, was up next in a scene with Otto in a darkened study near a fireplace. They at least made out before getting busy so I thought this last scene might pull off the impossible; have enough heat to get me off at least once during the movie. The oral was really weak, the vaginal okay and the anal sex pretty good at times but not as solid as she's done elsewhere. The rose pedals on her body as he jerked off onto her breasts was an interesting, if tame, idea but the scene never built up enough momentum to serve its purpose.

Summary: I like a number of the performers that worked on the DVD and I'm sure Mr. Steel is a very competent director but the entire premise was lame here. If Ms. Fleiss truly had anything to do with the scenes, you'd never know it and the front cover quote: "Reality Is Sexier than Fiction." May well be true but nothing about this DVD smacked of reality. I'm going to rate it as a Skip It unless you are a huge fan of the cast since there was very little worth watching here. The platitudes served up by Ms. Fleiss were borderline stupid and there was barely anything even remotely resembling a decent extra to add value. I hate being so hard on a DVD but this one showed why an over-the-hill madam is not the best source of houchie stories (or at least if this was the best she could do, she should become a housewife). Pass on this one in favor of just about anything else.

Note: You can see recent candid shots of several of these performers by visiting: My Photo's and read about their antics at 2004 AEE Show.

You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon

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