XCritc.com Adult DVD Reviews
Popular Searches:
Porn Reviews » Adult Movie Reviews » Altered Assholes

Altered Assholes

Studio: Platinum X Pictures » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 11/16/04

XCritic's Advice: Highly Recommended

Altered Assholes

Platinum X Pictures

Genre: Gonzo, Anal

Director: John Strong

Cast: Jayna Oso, John Strong, Michael Stefano, Katja Kassin, Manuel Ferrara, Vanessa Lane, Chiquita Lopez, David Perry, Tyla Wynn

Length: 158 minutes

Date of Production: 7/28/2004

Extra's: Most fans are going to like the ~17 minutes of bonus footage where the cast continued the action. Most of it looked to be edited from the main movie itself, often with no apparent reasoning since the footage was very solid on average, but I'm not going to complain since the added action was on the DVD. The 11.5 minute long Behind the Scenes extra showcased Vanessa and Tyla, two of the weakest performers of the movie, making me long for seeing the others in action here. There was also the obligatory pop shot compilation from the scenes, a photogallery, and some trailers but the extra footage material was the only stuff I really cared about this time.

Condoms: None

Audio/Video Quality: The picture was presented in the usual 1.33:1 ratio full frame color as originally shot. The lighting was good and the visual flaws minimal as the action took place with some interesting choices in camera angles (basically, not always flattering to the gals). I didn't see much pattern noise or any compression artifacts although there was a tiny bit of edge enhancement noticed by a friend of mine while we watched it (for the life of me, I don't think most people give a rat's ass about that kind of thing if the cast is hot and the sex is good but most people aren't going to notice it unless they have a very high end television either). The audio was presented in the usual stereo English with minimal separation but a bit of reasonably decent dynamic range. You can easily hear what's going on, even though most of it is simply moaning and groaning, and it did add some measure of pleasure to my screening of the movie.

-- sponsored by --

Body of Review: Like many of his peers, John Strong, has been working on both sides of the camera after a decent career as a meat puppet. Initially learning his craft at the Anabolic/Diabolic production line, he has joined likeminded friends to start advancing into the big leagues by moving over to the rising star, Platinum X Pictures; a company known for cultivating some of the most twisted minds in the jizz bizz into making their best work. John's latest release is Altered Assholes, a movie that showcased some of the best anal queens available in the entire world doing what they do best, taking stiff cocks up their rather sweet looking backsides. If you're in the market for anal depravity that often surpasses what is available elsewhere, read my breakdown of the scenes by cast and action to see if you'd like this DVD for your collection:

Scene One: Jayna, a lean brunette that has been taking the porn world by storm (for more reasons than one), had a scene based on a scenario where she asked John and Michael over to help her move some stuff around. Needless to say, the only things she really wanted moved were hard cocks in her tight, willing holes, something we all know she excels at. She gave solid oral before they took turns ripping into her wet holes, and the anal was very energetic too this time. Her oral skills are nearly legendary at this point in time and fans know she's among the best in the jizz bizz for how she milks a penis orally but her lean frame is also very able to handle the hammering she took here as they boned both her pussy and ass. It had a DP, a standard feature in this movie, as well as a DAP (two bare cocks in her ass at the same time), PTM (pussy to mouth) and ATM (ass to mouth) before the ending facials. Whew!

Scene Two: Katja, the hottest gal in porn this year by a substantial margin, showed off her curvy body in some fishnets with red frills before taking on Manuel in the second scene. I knew this would be a great scene just because she's so skilled and lovely but I also got the feeling director John would turn her loose in the first few moments when she was nearly fisting herself on the couch. The tease alone was enough to get me off (if I had chosen to do so) but her ability to take a large dildo up her ass (with the usual ATM) and the gagging action during her sweet blowjob were also reason enough to wait. The action continued on with a combination of dildo and live meat in her holes and I thought the entire scene rocked!

Scene Three: Vanessa, a 20 year old stripper turned porn star still fairly new (about 15 scenes in her first month), appeared to be happy with her career choice as she showed John her moves on a couch. Her patent leather short shorts and bra accentuated her already skinny figure but her desire to be spanked and otherwise abused will likely interest a number of you that like your performers young (she looked younger than her proclaimed age). She blew him, rimmed him, and took the dick in both holes for him with an amount of energy unusual for such a new gal. At times, it looked like she was getting off too with her erect nipples and flush skin so she may well be the next big thing for some of you that prefer flavor of the month types but even if you don't, she's a gal to keep an eye out for if you can get past her mercenary attitude (at the end of the movie she made it clear where her loyalties lie).

Scene Four: Chiquita, the cute redhead on the front DVD cover, was up next as she played a maid for John. I would've preferred she wear a traditional French maid's outfit but her satiny pink dress and fishnet stockings also seemed to work for my libido. David joined John as they took a closer look at her assets and it didn't take them long to begin licking her all over, after she gave them some oral loving of her own. She even took both of their cocks in her mouth at once at one point but I liked the Spanish speaking she gave as she got excited when taking them inside her pussy and ass. The DP action (along with the usual taste testing) was lengthy and her sexual ability very good for a new gal so I also suspect she gains a following if she markets herself properly.

Scene Five: Tyla, probably the most generic performer of the bunch here (certainly not a bad thing, mind you), showed off her all natural body outdoors and called herself a "dirty, filthy whore" before giving John a point of view blowjob. I've only seen a few of her performances but think she's talented at what she does and has an appealing look to her; something most consumers appreciate more than the production companies ever care to acknowledge publicly. Anyway, she also gave him a short titty fuck before taking the action inside where Michael joined them for the usual list of sex acts, including some very energetic anal and DP. She did more DAP (double, bareback, anal) than all the other gals put together and had the filthiest mouth on her as she pushed them to further heights of degradation, making the scene a winner by any standard you could imagine. Yeah!

Summary: If you like seeing attractive gals taking hard dicks up their asses, with solid production values and a tremendous amount of fuck for your buck, Altered Assholes will certainly be worth your hard earned dollars, just like it's worth a rating of Highly Recommended. The energy, chemistry, and extremity of the acts was enough to launch many a load and I can see a lot of dollar signs in director John Strong's future if he can maintain this level of heat in future projects. To be honest, I never really thought much about the studly guy as more than anything but a generic performer but I think he may have been under my radar for far too long and I hope to see what he has to offer in the future with his affiliation with PXP.

Note: You can see recent candid shots of many performers by visiting: My Photo's and read about their antics at 2004 AEE Show.

You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon

comments powered by Disqus
Popular Reviews

The Preacher's Daughter
Lisa Ann Back 4 More
My DP Vol. 4
Pirates 2 Stagnetti's Revenge
Anal Newbies #7
I Love My Mom's Big Tits 5
Black & White Vol. 12
Angela Volume Three
Rotten To The Core
Big Wet Tits 17

Featured Reviews

Get XCritic Via Email:

Enter your email address:

Delivered by FeedBurner