Cast: Herschel Savage, Kurious, Roy L. Shaft, Selena Del Ray, Jeremy Irons, Julie West, Tanya French
Length: 88 minutes (felt like 88 hours)
Date of Production: 1999
Extra's: photo gallery and trailers (BFD)
Audio/Video Quality: Not good at all. The audio has several points where the volume fluctuates for no reason and the music seems made by a computer program with no human input. The video consists of a cameraman and editor who appear to have pulled an all-nighter the day before the shoot/after the shoot, accordingly. There were a number of times where the focus on a close-up was way off and then bounced back into focus. The lighting was uneven and I'd led to believe that the entire production crew joined in on the party (i.e.: the all-nighter). The basics would be that it was shot and presented in 1.33:1 ratio full frame color with stereo sound that sounded like monaural.
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Body of Review: I'm not sure what I was thinking when I picked this DVD up. Once I started watching it, I knew I was in for a painful experience. Had there been a single redeeming quality about this DVD, I'd let you know right away. Sadly, this is a movie where you should be paid to watch it. It consists of four shorts and none of them stand out as worthy of your time and hard earned cash. I'll detail them a bit below but keep in mind that unless you have a severe obsession with a particular performer, avoid this DVD.
Scene One: Theodore: The premise of this short was that serial killer Ted Bundy started killing due to a cheating girlfriend. I found the idea disgusting. Maybe, just maybe, if the short had some sense of satire or humor, it might have worked. As it is, the sex doesn't start for 5:30 minutes into the movie. Kurious seemed attractive but the camera seemed to hate her in this short. The sex was uninspiring at best.
Scene Two: The Dreamer: The premise behind this short is of a guy's dreams with a young woman. This short screamed Andrew Blake rip-off; except that it is not nearly as exciting as Mr. Blake's work. Selena was slightly attractive from a distance and her strip act wasn't too bad however... Once you get her in a close-up; forget it! She had a bunch of razor burn and pimples on her crotch and ass. The redeeming factor of this short is that Roy wears a condom. Of course having seen Selena's privates up close, I couldn't blame him.
Scene Three: GI JOEY: Forget the plot in this one as it appeared, much like the others; to have been improvised on the spot. Free association is not always a good thing people! The sex, amazingly enough, didn't start until about 9:30 minutes into the short. Anyways, skip this one unless you want to watch bored performers going through the motions. If you do watch it, you will notice a huge volume of pimples on Julie West's ass.
Scene Four: Blame It On LA.: Lastly, thank god, was Tanya French who had the pleasure of having the sole erotic scene in the entire movie. Her masturbation scene (well into the short) was almost good. I thought her tattoo was inconsistent with the premise of the short; small town girl new in LA to go to school, but it looked pretty cool. I like watching women masturbate, although doing more would've been better too, and this gave the DVD at least some redeeming value for my agonizing at watching it.
Summary: If you've made it this far into the review and still have any doubts about the DVD; you have way too much money and free time on your hands. If you like tattoos, ass pimples, and razor burn as a fetish, there might be something in this for you. Otherwise steer clear of it. I will note that this DVD is a Dane Productions release. If I come across any more of their stuff, I will review it solely because I want to see if they are always this bad or if they had an "off" day. I felt obligated to watch this twice-for review purposes/to show fairness-and I'll tell you that this is the type of movie that gives porn a bad name. (except for Tanya French and the trailers, the box was the only thing worth anything for me) so I rated it a Skip It.
This Don Houston "retro-review" was written long ago before the so-called Professor of Porn had much experience writing reviews. Since that time, he has found Digital Sin to have a lot of good releases and seen more porn that almost anyone reviewing on the internet. Keep in mind that his comments accurately reflected his fresh viewpoint of the time he first saw the movie.
Note: You can see recent candid shots of more recent porn performers by visiting: My Photo's and read about their antics at 2004 AEE Show.
---- You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon