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Hustler Centerfolds #2

Studio: Hustler Video » Review by Disco Dirge » Review Date: 11/25/04

XCritic's Advice: Recommended

GENRE: Straight Compilation
DIRECTOR: Richard Hamilton
STARS: Lea De Mae, Monica Sweetheart, Boo, Isabella, Crissy, Mia Smiles, Lee Stone, Anthony Hardwood, Rik Taylor, Chris Cannon
LENGTH: 95 mins with bonus material

Somewhere between the gross-out gleaning of gonzo and the super-slick luster of Contract player carnality is a weird middle ground of gratuity, a sexual suspended animation where the facets of the fuck film get jumbled up and lost. It is safe to say that the vast majority of hardcore DVDs vanish in this vortex of vice, failing to fully understand the dynamics of the demographic they're pandering to. Indeed, instead of finding a focus or sticking with one type of dicking, these woolly-headed celebrations of sex just flounder like a carp without a wet spot to wade around in. Nowhere is this more prevalent than in the scene compilation format. Knowing that they have to fill several sequences with sizzle, but afraid an isolated angle will lead to boner boredom, your average fornication filmmaker wanders all over the stylistic map, incorporating anything - and anyone – into their miscreant mix to ward off the erotic ennui. This is why you'll see fetish next to fantasy, strap-ons banging up against straight ahead sensuality. What many clip comp creators don't realize is that, with a strong foundational premise, pussy and prick are as easy to sell to those hankering for hardcore as ice water on the tour of Hades. One company that appears to get it is Larry Flint's love child, that infamous institution known as Hustler. For their most recent volume of the Centerfolds series, a photo shoot setup is successfully utilized to present five steamy scenes of suck shuck and jizz jive. And since the premise is so open-ended, director Richard Hamilton can explore anything he wants, from sweetness to swelter, and get away with it. Well, almost.

The DVD:
Playing like a typical day for Cincinnati's favorite flesh peddler, Hustler Centerfolds Vol. 2 uses the point and click prick trick to solidify its pentagon of porno. After some stylish cabaret and camera flash fanciness, our gentleman genital participant usually appears, and the traditional tool to twat takes place (the only exception being the clit and spit circumstance of Scene 3's Sappho scenario). In each sequence, director Richard Hamilton lays on the oddball settings, EXTREME close-ups, softcore shot selections, awkward lighting and jagged jump cut editing like it was an eccentric personal aesthetic. Sometimes it hampers the hardcore, while in other instances it perks up the plooking. To see how successful each bit of bonk is here, we need to break down the flesh fests separately, going over the grind within. Let's start with:

Scene 1: Lea De Mae, Lee Stone
In a strange, industrial landscape, Czech chick Lea gets down and dirty with some girders and pipes. After her cock tease posing and electronica-inspired cabaret, Mr. bent boner himself, Lee Stone, shows up to muscleman his way into Ms. De Mae muff. The couple engages in a great deal of sensual foreplay, kissing and cuddling within the factory facade. Eventually, Lea releases that crazy curved cock and blows it for a very long time. This seemingly endless session of head continues until Lee demands doggy, and the bow-wow pounding proceeds. In rapid succession, scissors, reverse cowgirl and some spread eagle mish occurs before Mr. Stone is ready to pop his rivets. Lea lays back and takes a full facial load - most of it directly into her mouth - from Lee's over-juiced jackhammer. In our first sex sequence of the set, Lea and Lee really spark some scorching. The beefy brawn of Mr. Stone and the ersatz blond bombshell basics of Ms. De Mae match up perfectly, and both performers sure know how to pork. The result is a wonderful introduction to this title – and as luck would have it – an indication of tantalizing things to come. Score: 8 out of 10.

Scene 2: Monica Sweetheart, Anthony Hardwood

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We are now in a futuristic barbershop, everyone's "sweetheart", Monica, does the typical hair tonic bump and grind. Her clip joint cabaret ends when Anthony walks in, hair in an oddball bun, and takes a seat in her saloon style chair. Monica gives his mug a shave, with lots of attention to detail. Apparently, as part of that old "two-bits" song, Monica offers ups some oral action with her beard blasting. The dick licking goes on for quite a while, until Mr. Hardwood hankers for some range riding. Then the ramrodding begins. The reverse cowgirl gets a little supercilious slow motion in an attempt to amplify the arousal. But before you know it, Tony is channeling foreign porn star JPX as he shifts into hyperhump mode and plows Monica's pussy with ridiculously rampant RPMs. The duo dive into doggy – with some semi-pile driving and straight forward fucking – again, moving into a pseudo pole-pounding position. The money moment is a mouthful, and Monica uses her lips and tongue to aid in the cleanup. Like the scene before, this is a perfectly compatible couple copulating with fire and freshness. As stated before, Director Hamilton does have a tendency to undermine his erotic with peculiar cinematic choices. Still, the intense session of sharking between Anthony and Monica more than makes up for any antics the filmmaker hurls at the screen. Score: 7.5 out of 10.

Scene 3: Boo, Isabella
It's cunt casino night for the Hustler centerfolds, and Isabella and Boo are betting on a little same sex sizzle. Both babes ball the jack for the camera, as bright lights and the sounds of Sin City sparkle in the background. By the time they get together, the lens moves in for some extreme views of the vixens vamping each others' vitals. There is some very sensual kissing, frenching, tit sucking and nipple biting, and both gals really get off on the groping. Boo services Isabella first, and she treats her pussy paramour to some intense clit licking and tongue fucking. Fingers find the folds and the hand-to-honey pot heightens the hardcore. Finally, a crystal cock is offered up, and the faux-phallus to fun tunnel begins. Eventually, Isabella gives the toy some V to M, and then the whole rigmarole starts over again, this time with Boo getting broasted.

Most girl-on-girl sessions in sex compendiums are dull at best. The same old snatch stuff happens, and you get the impression that the performers are functioning under a semi-schizo dynamic. Part of them is happy not to be stuffed full of frankfurter, but the other portion is not too sure about the pro-pussy pleasures. Here, Boo and Isabella get it on like a craven couple caught in their own bedroom. They really get into the twat tango and appear to relish every randy moment. The weirdness comes from the casual observer dude in the background. Said vague voyeur places betting chips on Boo's body as she's getting worked with a glass gland. Hmmm. Thankfully, something that could have undermined the value of this set ends up being one of its better sequences. Score: 7 out of 10.

Scene 4: Crissy, Rik Taylor
In this time of potential terrorism, Crissy is stopped by an airport rent-a-copper who pats her down in more than one way. Thinking she might have time for a "lay" over before her flight takes off, Crissy cabarets for the flummoxed fuzz, and he responds by utilizing his metal detector wand as some manner of foreplay facet. Realizing she's got a live one here, Crissy sits on Officer Taylor's face, and he eats her cunt with excitable excess. He even tosses her salad and tongue fucks her ass, just for fun. Reciprocating on his rod, Ms. C blows the bobby. When it comes time to plow through the positions, they are presented montage style, with lots of camera tricks and curious production particulars. The couple completes both cowgirls, as well as mish (with several far too up close views of the penetration) before V o M leads to the money moment. Rik pops his pudding all over Crissy's face, and his own nightstick. Our lusty lady cleans off both poles with pleasure.

This is a classic case of poor casting. Make no mistake about it, Crissy is all ass class, taking the tooling with passion and obvious aggression. Rik, on the other hand, looks like a bouncer from a dive bar that got way too drunk on Peppermint Schnapps and wandered onto a hardcore film set, looking for a place to take a leak. He is an unattractive, puffy porker with very little XXX-pertise. No matter how hard she tries to bolster his basic buffoonery, Mr. Taylor subverts the scene. What should have been hot...is not. Score: 5 out of 10.

Scene 5: Mia Smiles, Chris Cannon In some sort of sci-fi setup, the petite Ms. Mia does the standard space-age strip and/or tease to hopefully please her unseen audience. Mr. Cannon responds by going for the gusto with groping gratitude. The couple really heavy pets with a purpose, as the wanton warm-up leads to the eventual womb raiding. But first, Mia needs meat, and she lunches on Chris's log. Without missing an amorous moment, Mr. Cannon cocks his crank and sinks said shaft into Ms. Smiles cock slot, reverse cowgirl style. Soon, the moon in June croons a tune as spoon festoons the poon. Chris is so taken by the tooling that he pops his pocket rocket fuel all over Mia's mouth. Our little lady laps it up lovingly. While not quite as steamy as the first few scenes, Mr. Cannon at least looks clean and hygienically sound (unlike the previous performer) and his oversized organ really gives Mia a mouth and mount full. For guys who like mini-maidens swollen with mega-member, this scene is a scorcher. Otherwise, it's just a better than average aspect of the overall engaging issue of erotica. Score: 7.5 out of 10.

Though it really never lives up to its title (we have to wait to the bonus feature gallery to see any photo session shots), Hustler Centerfolds Vol. 2 is a nice little excursion into XXX-cess. Director Hamilton does fumble the cinematic balling more often than he mise-en-scores, yet the idiosyncratic irritations in his camera work are always tempered by the twat and timber talent. There is really no need for slow motion in sharking, and the gynecological close-ups can be repulsive, not risqué. But thanks to the performers and their piston-pumping pandering, the fuck fan forgets the endless embellishing and focuses on the hump heat. Persons with a proclivity toward the softer side of sex will also enjoy this calm comp, since Hamilton seems to film each sequence with one eye on the Pay-Cable conceit. There are several instances where you wonder why the usual smut stuff is not being shown, and it can only mean that Hamilton and the Hustler home office are in anticipation mode, waiting for the call from Spectravision to come so they can reconfigure their product properly. Still, all visual variables aside, this is a very enticing scene compendium, well worth a look for any fan of hardcore happenings.

The Video:
One of the best aspects of Hustler Centerfolds Vol. 2 is the amazingly detailed image. As said before, director Richard Hamilton can occasionally mess things up with bad editing and even worse lighting, but the overall transfer is tight and out of sight. The fleshtones are acceptably maintained, the colors always stay correct and the contrasts are clean and clear. We experience none of the direct to digital defects that hamper other productions (there is no flaring, halos or bleeding here) and the backdrops provide a nice atmosphere for the XXX antics. Thanks to the 1.33:1 full screen picture provided, Hustler Centerfolds Vol. 2 is a first-rate visual experience.

The Audio:
It's tame techno time as Hustler Centerfolds Vol. 2 lays on the keyboard canoodling for most of its 90 minute run time. The throbbing, pulse (and temple) pounding productions are layered over everything – the menu screens, the opening titles, the scene transitions and the actual earthquaking. Never really modulating in tone or tenure, you either got to love this Prodigy on Percocet or you'll hate every aural aspect of this production. The Dolby Digital Stereo mix captures each repetitious death disco beat in full sonic sensation, and even when the duos are diddling, the soft undercurrent of the somber Studio 54 drones on. The Dirge has complained on several occasions about the trend it taking away the musical backing during most hardcore mattress mambo sessions. He now regrets ever complaining. The wall of sound situation in Hustler Centerfolds Vol. 2 is not desire destroying, but it may just hinder you hard-on.

The Extras:
When it comes to added content, Hustler Centerfolds Vol. 2 pulls up incredibly short. Unless you consider the irritating industry standards of trailers, sex talk ads, weblinks, merchandising spots and pointless picture galleries the cutting edge of DVD depth, you'll soon realize that there is not much here to tempt your retail tendencies (not counting the fuck film itself, naturally). The only vaguely interesting added feature here is a 5-minute 'Behind the Scene' interview with Lea De Mae. Speaking in soft broken English and answering some inane questions from an unseen interviewer, she appears personable and quite passive. She argues that 'size' doesn't matter and how much she loves to be romanced. During her Q&A we see some scenes from a photo shoot that look rather interesting. Lea has a steel dildo, which she admits weighed 'a ton', stuck up inside herself, and the images are very enticing. Too bad the rest of the routine bonus features couldn't be as interesting...or arousing.

Final Thoughts:
With four out of its five scenes really bringing the heat to the meat, and an entertaining conceit at the core of its compilation motif, Hustler Centerfolds Vol. 2 is a nice, naughty bit of nookie that almost everyone will enjoy. While not as nasty as the glorified gonzo that sometimes passes for passionate pussy pounding, but definitely not as blasé as the over stylized straight sex features from Vivid or Wicked, this is a good initiation into the world of XXX-citement for those unfamiliar – or dare it be said, AFRAID – of the fuck film. On the Disco Dirge Peter Meter, Hustler Centerfolds Vol. 2 rates a randy 7 out of 10 and is recommended. The title would have received a more healthy endorsement had the bonus material not been so measly. Also, this is an ANAL FREE experience, meaning those of you who enjoy a little butt bongo will have to be satisfied with the minimal amount of tossed salad or tongue troweling offered. A point is therefore docked for the lack of dirt box bonanzas. Couples will easily enjoy the straightforward sizzle, meaning of course, that a Cohabitation Certification is easily awarded. More compendiums stuck in the no man's land of lewdness could take a lesson or two from Hustler Centerfolds Vol. 2. This pointed porn product will definitely engorge as it engages.

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